April 28, 2008

Western Pa. Country Jamberoo

Since the Pirates beat the Phillies yesterday, let's make fun of Western Pennsylvania! The ravishing bride at left is the former Christa Vattimo, who was married to David M. Wielechowski on Saturday.

Then they went to the Holiday Inn -- the Motel 6 was completely booked -- dafter their wedding, got into a fight and were both arrested:

According to a criminal complaint, the Wielechowskis had just checked into the Holiday Inn-McKnight Road in Ross and were ready to enter their room on the seventh floor when they began arguing. Dr. Wielechowski "then used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor," the complaint reads.

Upon hearing her screams, two guests of the hotel who had been attending another wedding reception ran to Mrs. Wielechowski's aid. But when they attempted to restrain Dr. Wielechowski, he began fighting the would-be rescuers only to have Mrs. Wielechowski "turn against [them] and also begin to assault them," according to the complaint.

The fight moved from the hallway into an elevator, then spilled out onto the floor of the lobby, where Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski picked up metal planters containing live plants and threw them into the elevator at the two rescuers, the complaint says.

Oh, yes, Mr. Wielechowski is a dentist, of course.

Meanwhile, in Bridgeville (also in Allegheny County), a man was arrested for annoying government officials by calling them and telling them they suck. The police chief said: "In section 2709 of the Pennsylvania crimes code, dealing with harassment, it specifically states that when a person, they harass, annoy or alarm an individual based upon the conduct, then it's harassment." Watch it, commenters, or I'm going to have you all arrested.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:08 PM | Comments (11)

April 07, 2008

Google Sued Over Street View

By now you're probably familiar with Google Street View, the totally neat-o Google Maps add on that allows us to see hilarious street drug deals captured by Google's roving camera van.

In the Philadelphia area, Google Street View contains most of Center City -- with strange gaps, such as the 1500 block of Sansom Street¹-- as well as suburbs as far as Bristol, Wilmington and Newark.

Well, enjoy it while you can, suckers! A Pittsburgh couple is suing Google, claiming Street View "violated their privacy, devalued their property and caused them mental suffering."

Fair enough. But, whoops, Google says apparently you can get your house off Google Street View if you want to, meaning that if this thing is publicized enough a ton of streets will be removed and the tool will be worthless. "There's no merit to this action," Google spokesman Larry Yu said. "It is unfortunate litigation was chosen to address the concern because we have visible tools, such as a YouTube video, to help people learn about imagery removal and an easy-to-use process to facilitate image removal." Still, no one has explained why Google Street View was done in Pittsburgh.

Oh, and that YouTube video? Right here.

¹ They also have my parents' street, a horseshoe street near Franklin Mills, and don't have mine, which is in Center City.

Lawsuit Claims Google Maps Violates Privacy [AP/CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:22 AM | Comments (3)

January 08, 2008

Sex Is Weird In Western Pennsylvania

We all think that female teachers having sex with students is a bad thing. (Even NAMBLA.) But adult males remember their ridiculously attractive seventh grade homeroom teacher and are, well, jealous. And so it's not viewed by some people as that much of a problem, or as bad of a problem as male teacher-female student hookups. Is this detrimental to society? I certainly don't know, and I definitely don't care. And I definitely had cute homeroom teachers in sixth and seventh grade, so let me just join the chorus: Hot!

Today's teacher-student sex story is out in suburban Pittsburgh, where cops say a 26-year-old at Moon Area High School (Ha!) exchanged nude photos with a freshman and may have had sexual contact with him! (Sorry she's not skinnier.) The boy didn't stab the teacher in the back like so many times; his parents found suggestive text messages and the teacher, Beth Ann Chester, resigned blah blah blah you know how this goes.

Meanwhile, in Westmoreland County, a cuckolded man sent his wife's lover a severed cow's head and has been sentenced to probation. His lawyer gives the quote of the year so far, saying that Jason Michael Fife "understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody."

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January 07, 2008

Pa. Sen. Probably Hates Porn, Too

Hmm, when Chuck Ramsey does his little crime report thingy, I can safely assume it will not suggest closing down all of Philadelphia's strip clubs. Strippers -- or "heroes," as I like to call them -- are most certainly blameless in the city's murder epidemic, except maybe for that shooting at ex-Allen Iverson hangout Club Wizzards last year.

But, out in Western Pennsylvania, Republican State Senator Jane Oriethinks strip clubs are just plain evil or something and wants to tax them more, because the GOP is the party of low taxes and personal choice.

“What I’m trying to do is have the state of Pennsylvania conduct the same study [as Texas, which just instituted a $5 pole (ho ho!) tax], to look at the adult entertainment industry, and the secondary effects it has, for example, with child abuse, and with domestic violence, with mental health issues.”

Mental health issues? There's nothing more depressing than a pair of giant fake tits in your face.

Lawmaker Lobbys For Study on Pa. Strip Clubs [KYW 1060]

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December 12, 2007

Spanish Tacos Invade Western Pennsylvania

The amusement park Kennywood (it's near Pittsburgh) is being sold to a Spanish company that also manages a bunch of amusement and water parks across the U.S. and Europe.

A spokeswoman, however, wanted to assuage any fears the public had and gave this statement:

"The park's going to continue to be what it is, what we all love. We don't expect to see any changes. We don't think it's going to become a giant taco stand."

Tacos are, of course, Mexican. The park is actually going to be turned into a bullfighting arena.

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October 29, 2007

Bigfoot Enthusiast Says Photo Is Bigfoot

Hey! A Pennsylvania hunter, Rick Jacobs, says he has a photo of Bigfoot (at right). He apparently snapped the photo with a camera with an automatic trigger he set up in order to get snapshots of deer.

But, instead, he got a photo of an animal of indeterminate origin, which means it must be Bigfoot! "It appears to be a primate-like animal. In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch," Paul Majeta told the Associated Press. Paul Majeta, incidentally, is a member of the Bigfoot Research Organization, and is therefore an impartial judge of a creature's Sasquatchness.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission says there is "no question" the animal is a bear with a severe case of mange, but that doesn't make for a good headline.

But there is even better news. The Online Gambling Paper reports: "An online sportsbook once offered odds on the existence of Sasquatch, but the prop was canceled due to lack of interest. Now with Jacob's Bigfoot, we may see those weird odds pop up again." The OG Paper also has a report on the odds for the 2007 World Hamburger Eating Championship.

Update: In the comments, "michele" draws us a picture, literally. I really couldn't make any sense of the photo -- other than knowing it's not Bigfoot -- so it was helpful.

Hunter Rick Jacobs claims Bigfoot photo [OG Paper]
Pa. Hunter Stirs Bigfoot Debate [AP/Time]

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August 09, 2007

New Pittsburgh Mascot To Cut Diamonds With Chin

Sometimes the media (whatever) likes to make the Philadelphia and Pittsburgh sports teams out to be rivals, and that's true for some sports. (We dominate them in basketball.) But chances are if an Eagles fan has to root for a team other than the Eagles, chances are he'll pick the Steelers. They're in the AFC, they're from the same state, and who didn't like former Steelers coach Bill Cowher. And Steelers fans are kind of ubiquitous, but somehow aren't annoying like Red Sox/Yankees/Cubs/etc. fans.

Philadelphia has some of the best mascots in sports -- the Phanatic, Swoop, Hip Hop, the St. Joe's Hawk, Hooter the Owl, the only mascot to get a technical foul, etc. -- and it makes sense the Steelers would have a pretty cool mascot, too. And, so, naturally, they've come up with the guy above, who actually looks like former coach Bill Cowher. And his name is Steeley McBeam, which is like a name you'd come up for the name contest as a joke.

Awesome. Now he just has to have a cage match with Swoop.

Oh, yeah, and be happy you're in Philadelphia. This new mascot story is the biggest one in Pittsburgh in months.

Steelers Announce the Name of New Team Mascot [Steelers]

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August 03, 2007

Surprise!: 25 Percent Of Pa. Bridges Ready To Collapse

Every time there's a big national disaster, the local press does their usual job of localizing -- and scaring us. Just check out the highly scientific survey from NBC 10:

NBC 10 conducted a survey and asked, "How concerned are you about the safety of local bridges?"

Forty-five percent said, "very concerned," 29 percent said "somewhat concerned" and 20 percent are "Not worried at all."

Gee, I wonder who could make the public so concerned about bridge safety?

"It's very scary. Don't think I'm going over a bridge anytime soon," Eileen Vitale, of Northeast Philadelphia, said. Everyone NBC 10 talked to said they would think twice before driving over a bridge that crosses either water or a city street.

Jean Unger, of Kensington, said she would cross her fingers and hold her breath until she got on the other side of a bridge.

Oh, right.

Continue reading "Surprise!: 25 Percent Of Pa. Bridges Ready To Collapse"

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July 30, 2007

Thank God For PR People

Heinz spokeswoman Tracey Parsons, on the 1500-pound ketchup packet Collinsville, Ill., is building as a fundraiser.

"That's a lot of ketchup."

The ketchup packet will soon journey to Heinz HQ in Pittsburgh, where it will be elected mayor.

A ketchup packet that won't fit in your pocket [AP/CNN.com]

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July 23, 2007

We Totally Need One Of These In Philadelphia

Approximately seven hours away across the state in Erie, they're having some trouble funding the International Magic Hall of Fame and Museum. Wow, really? Considering the only recent time I can think of a magician in the news is David Blaine failing to hold his breath for an hour or whatever after spending all that time in a bubble -- seriously, did that actually happen, or did I dream it? -- I guess the public just isn't all that into magic.

But whatever. Further down in the article about the lack of a magic museum, there's this line:

The county gave $25,000 to help start a School of Conjuring, which opened earlier this year.

Yeah, we totally need a school of conjuring in Philadelphia. Although here, instead of regular card tricks or whatever, they'd probably teach three card monte.

Plans For Pa. Magic Museum Stalling [CBS 3]
Related: Magician Ricky Jay on Arsenio in 1988

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June 08, 2007

Pa. Rest Stop Greatest Thing Of All Time

If you're headed to the U.S. Open next weekend, you'll probably take the Pennsylvania Turnpike out to Oakmont, where this year's tournament is being held. (You could go somewhere else, but you'd have a tough time finding the U.S. Open there.)

If you do take the turnpike out to Oakmont, you'll be happy to know there are rest stops along the way, according to this helpful press release sent to PW from HMSHost.

Come this June, Oakmont, Pennsylvania will be a welcome haven for travelers and golf buffs alike. The debut of the new and improved Oakmont Travel Plaza will please the more than 30,000 drivers expected to pass through the city during the U.S. Open Golf Tournament. Designers at HMSHost, a world leader in travel food and retail, have created new outdoor patio seating and high rooflines made of glass that maximize sunlight. Before travelers rush off to see Tiger hit the links, they’ll want to take a moment to enjoy the scenic Pennsylvania beauty and a tasty bite to eat.

Delicious meals can be found even before arriving at the Oakmont Country Club. Tee up for that long time in the sun while you watch the pros and try the Peppercorn Parmesan Turkey with Bacon sub or a fresh Raspberry Chipotle Chicken salad from Quiznos. To satisfy that sweet tooth, go to Hershey’s Ice Cream for a Butter Pecan ice cream cone or banana split. Other options include Starbucks Coffee for a rejuvenating coffee pick-me-up or Burger King for the ever classic WHOPPER®.

Stopping for refreshments can taste and feel good this summer -HMSHost is kicking off a promotion with the Coca-Cola Company and the United Service Organizations, Inc. (USO) to raise funds for a third year to support U.S. troops and families worldwide. From Memorial Day through Labor Day, HMSHost and Coca-Cola will donate $0.05 from every purchase of a 32 oz. Coke fountain soft drink at select travel plazas nationwide.

The Oakmont Travel Plaza scores a hole in one for being part of a new era of quality food and retail service that HMSHost is providing this summer, and is the first of many travel plazas that Pennsylvania travelers have to look forward to (18 total!). Remember that HMSHost makes the journey as enjoyable as the destination – even the hard to beat U.S. Open!

Buy a Coke®, support the troops! Man, this new era of quality food and retail service sure is great.

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April 06, 2007

Ex-Hickory High Principal Sues Jimmy Chitwood

Looks like Diane Gibbons isn't the only Pennsylvanian who likes to take out aggressions on kids!

Out in Western Pennsylvania, former high school principal Eric W. Trosch is suing a former student who made a fake Myspace profile about him.

The lawsuit alleges that Myspace profiles created in December 2005 while Trosch was principal of Hickory High School humiliated him, damaged his reputation and impacted his earning capability. Nonetheless, Hickory High fought through the hardship and rallied to win the state basketball championship despite only having six players on the team.

Trosch's attorney said the profiles "went far and beyond what you would see on a bathroom wall in a school." He continued: "Also, the profile was friends only with those fake porn profiles. Trosch is way more popular than that."

Principal Sues Former Students Over Fake MySpace Page [6 ABC]

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December 06, 2006

A Chicken In Every Pot, And A Cap In Every Ass

What does a small, Indiana County town of 443 people in Pennsylvania really need to do to make sure it remains viable well into the 21st century? Well, how about making the second amendment mandatory?

Town Councilman Henry Statkowski in Cherry Tree, Pa., in Western Pennsylvania near where Indiana, Cambria and Clearfield counties meet, wants to pass an ordinance urging residents to get a gun and learn how to shoot it to keep down on the crime. It's modeled after a Greenleaf, Idaho, law -- itself modeled after a Kennesaw, Ga., bill from 1982 -- passed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and meant to stop the surge of bands of refugees that sacked random Idaho towns. (Oh, wait, that didn't happen?)

Statkowski says that, since the household is responsible for defending itself, each household should defend itself in the way Hank Statkowski wants it to. Inquirer writer Kathy Boccella went out to Cherry Tree and did her best person-on-the-street reporting job, interviewing apparently half the population of the sleepy hamlet.

This, really, is only a few of the quotes:

"Why would they need guns here?" asked Joseph Keith, who lives down the road in Stiffler. "They'll shoot themselves."

Sara Richards, 81, however, approves of firearms in the house.

"The way this world is, with all the drugs, it's a fine idea," Richards said as she waited with her husband at Cherry Tree Family Medicine.

A medical assistant in the office, who identified herself simply as Karen, said she and her husband had discussed getting a gun but decided against it. "He was afraid I'd shoot him," she said.

But Brad Wholaver, 36, dressed in camouflage for a day of deer hunting, called the proposed ordinance "crazy."

"Let's face it, there are some people out there who shouldn't own a gun. You put a gun in their hands and they'll shoot just to shoot," he said.

"People have more guns than flush toilets" now, joked Councilman [Martin] Harbough, who says he is neutral on the ordinance.

Camouflaged hunter? Check. Weird reference to drugs? Check. Calling them "flush toilets," as if they were a recent introduction to the city? Check. This is the best state ever.

One councilman's wish: A gun in every home [Inquirer]

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December 05, 2006

Erie Woman Loses Home Run Baby Derby

Things continue to be pretty depressing and wacky out there in Western Pennsylvania. At a preliminary hearing yesterday for Chytoria Graham, a paramedic testified that -- after an October domestic violence incident with her boyfriend -- Graham told her "I swung him. I swung him like a bat."

The 'him' in question here was her four-month old son. Graham said that during an argument with her boyfriend, 20-year-old Deangelo Troop, she began throwing things at him -- and then she allegedly wacked him with the baby, fracturing his skull. (The kid made a full recovery.) After she the put the kid down, Troop returned the favor without a human weapon, punching Graham in the eye. (He's not facing charges.)

Graham's lawyer alleges the baby didn't get a fractured skull from being swung as a weapon, but instead the child was just injured during the domestic dispute.

Anyway, there are some questions regarding the case: When one swings a baby like a bat, are you supposed to choke up on it like a regular baseball bat? Or do you just hold by the feet and wail? And do you let go of your dominant hand on the follow through? If you didn't, that'd be more like swinging a baby like a golf club, wouldn't it? So many questions!

Northwestern Pa. Woman Tells Paramedic She Swung Infant 'Like A Bat' At Boyfriend [AP/NBC 10]

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November 28, 2006

Leftovers: Best, Philadelphia Will Do

• Apparently, if you sign your email with the sign-off "Best" you are uh, being rude to the person. Me, I like to stick to my normal sign-off: "To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar." [NYT]

• While a third woman of the four found outside Atlantic City was identified, police are investigating if these homicides are connected to another attack on prostitutes earlier this year. Gee, it's good that prostitution is illegal and all, because it really works out for everyone involved, doesn't it? [Inquirer]

• More Western Pennsylvania news: In New Castle, a house explosion injured three. Damn, it's a mile a minute out there! [AP/Philly.com]

• Quakertown's council is flooded with complaints that kids are smoking on a street corner that's been dubbed the "cancer corner." Minors may be banned from smoking throughout the township. Huzzah. [Doylestown Intelligencer]

• Just in time -- well, okay, in advance -- of the Franklin Institute's King Tut exhibit, we learn that the boy king was not bludgeoned to death. Well. That clears that one up. [HealthDayNews/Yahoo!]

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On The First Day Of Hunting Season, The Hunter Becomes The Hunted

Yesterday was the first day of hunting season in Pennsylvania, which means schoolchildren all across the state (except for the Philadelphia area) had off to go hunt bucks or whatever. (This is probably how that deer got stuck in the warehouse ended up in there; he was trying to run away from being killed.)

Well, yesterday wasn't all rainbows and dead deer. It turns out that some people didn't want to hunt deer themselves and instead robbed a man of his deer.

Yes, three men walked up to Meadville's Robert Hanna -- still on his tree stand after bagging a deer Monday afternoon -- when three men with rifles came up to him and attacked him for his deer carcass.

"I'm really, really upset about the whole ordeal," Hanna said. "(It's) over a dumb deer. If they wanted it so bad I would have said, 'Take it.'" Police don't have any suspects, but my hunch is it's a bunch of lazy, lazy hunters.

Armed Thieves Steal Deer from Penna. Hunter [KYW 1060]
Earlier today: Wayward Deer Causes Havoc In Western Pa.

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Wayward Deer Causes Havoc In Western Pa.

There is a lot going on in Western Pennsylvania nowadays. While they don't have the excitement of a rising murder rate or a brand new public toilet, it's not like there's nothing going on!

For example, a family in Pittsburgh had its nativity scene stolen. And also in our fair neighbor to the west, a doggy jumped off a bridge and survived.

And then there's the tale of the deer who couldn't get out of the warehouse.

Note: This video apparently also features a cameo from Phillies relief pitcher Rick White.

Nativity Scene Stolen While Couple Decorates [WTAE-TV]
Dog Leaps Off Bridge, Lives [WTAE=TV]
Exclusive Video: Deer Runs Through Warehouse [WTAE-TV]

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November 03, 2006

This Is The Best Way To Handle A Scandle

That's Tim Murphy, U.S. Congressman from Western Pennsylvania, south of Pittsburgh. That's also Andy Sheehan -- no relation to Cindy -- approaching him with documents concerning the ethics flap the congressman is currently facing.

You know, if Curt Weldon totally should have tried this.

Congressman Tim Murphy Getting Touchy [YouTube via Wonkette]
Congressman facing ethics flap [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

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