June 24, 2008

Nothing Ever Gets Old On The Internet

Although it got a little windy last night (at least in Center City), at least we avoided any scat storms. Phew.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:17 AM | Comments (1)

June 23, 2008

John Bolaris, Crimefighter

A promo last night let us know John Bolaris has a special tonight about how he (I guess, maybe not him) can fight crime with the weather. "Because the weather never lies," he tells us; please note he did not say the weather forecast never lies.

Redlasso clip after the jump.

Continue reading "John Bolaris, Crimefighter"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:29 PM | Comments (1)

June 10, 2008

It's Still Hot Today, Reports Everyone

Yes, it's a slow news week -- everyone is too hot to do anything newsworthy -- so there is news about the weather everywhere! It's allegedly going to be 99 degrees today (and is currently 78 with "Haze," whatever that is).

Those lucky schoolkids get off at noon again today. NBC 10, meanwhile, exposes the seedy underworld of swimming where no swimming signs are posted.

Despite the "no swimming" signs posted along the creek, they were still going in the water. "Well I don't consider this swimming. I consider it wading," one man told NBC 10.

One girl was asked, "Is it safe out here?" "Yeah, kind of. … It's sort of safe out here, if you watch what you're doing," she said.

The station also gives a helpful tip: "Do not leave older people, children or pets alone in cars." Look, I don't think you should be doing that even in the winter.

Apparently, all of this is going to break sometime tonight; tomorrow will be a more pleasant 87 degrees.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:33 AM | Comments (2)

June 09, 2008

Really Hot News

I noticed this ad for Philly.com on the side of a SEPTA bus this morning right before the bus went right through a red light. (Of course.)

Not a bad slogan, I guess. But if Philly.com really wants to take it to the next level, might I suggest a change to the logo?

Now that's hot, thermometer-melting news.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:05 PM | Comments (1)

OMG IT'S SO HOT OUT

Look at that Firefox extension above: Back-to-back days of a full thermometer with three heat lines. (It's also 85 at 9 in the morning. I can only assume the humidity is roughly 1000 percent.) All the Philly Catholic schools are letting out at noon it's so hot out, and Philadelphia's heat line (215.765.9040) will be open 'til Tuesday at midnight.

Um, so yes. It's going to be hot out, as happens every summer or so. KYW reports: "People are being advised to drink plenty of water, avoid alcoholic beverages, stay out of the sun and spend as much time as possible in air-conditioned places and wear light, loose-fitting clothing." In case you weren't sure how to avoid the heat, you know.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:59 AM | Comments (2)

June 06, 2008

Prepare Yourself For Heat

Ahh, yes, the weather forecast for this weekend is one of little thermometers that are so hot they emit visible rays of heat. Wow, that's pretty bad.

The National Weather Service reports the highs for the next four days are all in the 90s, and the dew point could also get up to 72 on Sunday, which is virtually the moment when you're swimming instead of walking to work.

So, yes, a whole weekend of tons of heat and humidity, our first of the year. Oh, boy.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:17 PM | Comments (1)

March 31, 2008

Phillies Home Opener Today!

Ahh, what a day for a ballgame, eh?

Yes, today is the Phillies opener. The Fightins take the field fresh off a National League East championship last season and will probably not frustrate anybody 'til about the third inning today.

I'll liveblog the whole home opener, which starts at 3 this afternoon.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)

March 24, 2008

The Biggest Story Of Your Day

I just got this press release.

As you might have guessed, it does include "an earring thermometer, rescued from a 1650 whaling ship." Duh. A collection would be simply incomplete without it.

AccuWeather.com Founder Joel N. Myers Acquires World's Largest Collection of Thermometers [AccuWeather]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:50 AM | Comments (1)

March 07, 2008

Storm To Kill Us All

Flood watches (at Noah's Ark levels) have been declared by whoever it is who reports those things; Philadelphia is set to receive a million billion inches of rain.

Philly is expected to be destroyed by the impending storms, which will last for 400 days and 400 nights.

Weather Discussion 3/7/08 [6 ABC]
Heavy rain could cause flooding [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:45 PM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2008

Snowball Fight Leads To Shooting

While most Philadelphians spent the weekend indoors watching injuries befall our sports teams and movies they haven't seen win awards, there still was some snow on the ground from Friday's first real snowfall of the winter. And so smarter Philadelphians spent most of their time playing in the snow. (Me, I spent most of the weekend indoors sick. Duh.)

A few tow-headed residents even decided to throw snowballs at people, a tradition of young brats since snow was invented. Unfortunately, uh, somebody shot one of the teenagers throwing snowballs. Two sixteen year olds were having a snowball fight when one of their throws accidentally hit a neighbor in the face. And, then, the neighbor returned and shot one of 'em in the head at point blank range.

Continue reading "Snowball Fight Leads To Shooting"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:06 AM | Comments (4)

February 22, 2008

Finally, We Get Some Decent Snow

Hooray! It seemed like it was never going to happen, but finally we have a snowfall we can be proud of. It's not really all that much snow, but since we haven't had any measurable amount in a while everybody's running to the ACME to buy up all the milk and bread.

We're supposed to get about 1 to 3 inches, with a changeover to rain by late afternoon.

We could get ice, too, making this nighttime just ever so fun. Good thing there's RPS tonight!

Posted by D-Mac at 08:54 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

January 30, 2008

Float To Work Today On A Gust Of Wind

Philadelphia hasn't gotten anything more than a couple inches of snow so far this winter, which means the triumphant return of John Bolaris to Philadelphia at Fox 29 and the usual over-the-top weather forecasts from the other stations haven't really been much of a factor in the local news.

But fear not, sports fans! Although it's 48 degrees out right now, we Philadelphians are facing up to 45 mph wind gusts this afternoon. According to Phillyweather.net, these kinds of weather systems -- short systems of rain coupled with high winds, though that's oversimplifying it -- are called bowling ball lows and we usually don't get them until later in the year.

We're going to get another on Friday, but the temperatures will be too high to bring even freezing rain or sleet to anywhere but the usual "north and west of the city." Best not to even try to bring your umbrella out with the high winds; just zip up that old Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket and brave the elements yourself.

Sunday's supposed to be gorgeous.

Today's weather: From mild to wild [Inquirer]
Bowling Season Is A Bit Early [Phillyweather.net]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:30 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

January 03, 2008

God Warns Us Of Impending Bolaris Return

Most of the month of December was spent with bees buzzing by our ears. (Well, it would have been were bees not suddenly all dead.) It was warm, and it gave us something to complain about. "Where's all the snow?" "Global warming!" and so forth.

Well now we have something new to complain about: It's too cold! (It's also an easy topic for first-thing-in-the-morning blog posts.) The temperature today is around 20 degrees and it feels like negative 100. And I already got my John Bolaris joke out of the way, so let's just move on.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

December 27, 2007

River Stymies Fake George Washington Again

Somebody on my Facebook posted the news video of the Washington's crossing reenactors getting pushed downstream by the current. Washington must have been Superman in order to make it across; it seems like they never actually get to cross the river due to the weather.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:36 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

December 05, 2007

I'm Dreaming Of A White Margaret Cho's Birthday¹

Meteorologists are confident -- so, you know, like .05% or so -- Philadelphia will receive its first measurable snowfall sometime starting today, which means the hoodie you haven't worn since mid-summer will finally get some work. (The snow we got over the weekend was just a trace.)

Phillyweather.net is once again rating the forecasters on how close they get to predicting the actual total. The local forecasters have called for anything from no accumulations (NBC 10) to three inches (Fox 29). Leave it to Fox to have the out there prediction. Is John Bolaris already in town?

Update: Or, ah, Sue Serio says that?

¹ Today, Dec. 5. Or as I like to call it, the Immaculate Conception.²

² I also forgot! Today is Repeal Day!

Snow Coming [Weather or Not]
Snowfall Challenge Event #2 Calls [Philadelphia Weather]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:14 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

October 29, 2007

War Protesters Brave Weather

There were a bunch of anti-Iraq War protests over the weekend, because we're still in Iraq even though everybody wants out except George Bush and Dick Cheney and The Bulletin.

Around here, there were protests in Center City and across the river in New Jersey, where protesters were just as courageous as U.S. soldiers:

Adverse weather doesn't keep American troops in Iraq from completing their missions and it didn't keep protesters here from rallying to bring them home.

Both missions have similar chances of death, too, I'm sure.

New Jerseyans join protest against war [Camden Courier-Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:32 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

October 23, 2007

Autumn Leaves Of Green

The recent hot temperatures aren't just keeping you in shorts until God-knows-when, probably sometime in mid-December. No, the hottest October on record -- average temperature: 67 degrees -- has also managed to screw up all the fall leaves changing color.

Leaves change color because cool fall nights destroy the chlorophyll which gives leaves a green color. Reds, yellows and the less fun browns can't show up if there's still a large amount of chlorophyll in the leaves, so that's why the tree across the street from you still makes it look like we're in the middle of summer.

The upside is an expected mild winter. Of course, that also means we all die of excessive heat next summer, or something like that.

Can't find colorful foliage? Blame the record warmth [Inquirer]
[Image by JoJan, licensed via Creative Commons]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:33 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 02, 2007

John Bolaris To Make Triumphant Return

Dan Gross reports some of the happiest, greatest news in the history of this city today, perhaps rivaling the independence of this nation itself: John Bolaris might be returning to Philadelphia.

Bolaris was last seen in the Philadelphia news when, in 2001, he famously predicted 70 inches of snow or something and we only got a half inch. (This is "Bolaris' Last Stand.") He then fled to New York because of 9/11 -- I don't know, either -- and currently works at WCBS in the Big Apple, although he reportedly didn't renew his contract after being shifted to the weekends. He reportedly wants to return to Philadelphia because there are actual celebrities in NYC, whereas in Philadelphia he can monopolize the gossip pages.

Gross reports there are casual, discreet talks going on with CBS 3, NBC 10 and Fox 29. (Oh no! Who will cast doubt on global warming if David Aldrich isn't around?) Bolaris will make much, much more than you or I will ever make for reading the weather once he returns to Philly.

Dan Gross | Forecast calls for a chance of Bolaris blowing back into town [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:52 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

June 08, 2007

The Heat Is On And Other Stupid Headlines

Hey, remember when it was cold and all? No? Me neither.

It's officially too hot to do anything.

Weather [Philly.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 04, 2007

Sharks Vunerable To Excessive Heat

Since the infamous Tommy the Loan Shark-turned-Frank Keel press conference, there hasn't been much of Tommy seen around the city.

Where has he been? Was Frank Keel really correct, and he's a Pagan motorcycle gang member from South Jersey? Did he die? Did Tom Knox capture him?

Gar Joseph has all the answers.

The Shark does not speak, but his bullhorn-equipped sidekick, Jim Nixon, does. Nixon denied Keel's accusations and called him a thug for John Dougherty, head of Local 98 of the electricians union, who's leaning toward Knox.

Nixon claims to be a humble grad student who dogs Knox on his own, for free.

Keel is pretty scary, but we don't think he'd scare a shark. So we called Nixon. Tommy the Loan Shark hasn't been around "because he's been busy with final exams," Nixon said.

Hmm. Maybe the Pagan motorcycle gang takes classes at CCP or something. But there's another reason, too. Nixon says it's gotten hot enough that wearing the shark costume is pretty much impossible for whoever's inside it. So there you have it: Tommy the Loan Shark is nowhere near as tough as the Phillie Phanatic.

Also in his article, Joseph writes about how John Street encouraged people to commit fraud, but whatever.

A shark or a minnow? [Daily News, 3rd item]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

April 12, 2007

Weekend Weather Guy Not Convinced Of Something

David Aldrich, the guy who does the weather on the weekend on Fox 29, is not convinced of global warming and he wants you to know the truth (or, rather, "expose you to the multiple sides of this argument"):

I am a global warming skeptic. This does not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. If you have had doubts, you have come to the right place.

After the 13th COLDEST February in Philadelphia and the coldest since 1979, many are scratching their heads on what to believe when it comes to global warming.

We are also off to an "extremely cold" April as well with one of the coldest Easters in recent memory.

Hey, buddy, I must have missed the part where you're a climatologist and not a meteorologist. We don't have Dorothy Krysiuk report on the fuel efficiency of the Hummer vs. the Prius, she just tells us the traffic. We don't have Jennaphr Frederick report on the history of the mascot, she just dances with 'em. Do you see me reporting on the history of the migration of the Sherpa? No, I just make bad jokes instead.

Just read the weather, sheep. Baa! Milton Street sure is goofy!

Global Warming Skeptic [MyFoxPhilly]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:32 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

March 27, 2007

OMG It Might Be 80 Degrees Today!

Spring started last week. It appears summer is beginning today.

The local weather wags are predicting temperatures up to and including 80 degrees today, the first time we would hit 80 since back in October. (We didn't even hit 80 in January, though it seemed like most of the month temperatures were hovering around 75.)

Anyway, that's all. It's a requirement, perhaps even a law, that bloggers have to write about how nice it is on the first really nice day of the year. So I've avoided Johnny Law yet again. Ha!

How Warm Will It Go Today? [Phillyweather.net]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

March 19, 2007

Ice Continuing To Extract Revenge On Helpless Public

Although the state didn't have anything resembling the Valentine's Day stranding of drivers on the highway, Pennsylvania's roads are still exacting vengeance against the unsuspecting public:

A chunk of ice sailed off the top of a truck and smashed through the windshield of a car driving near Allentown, breaking a woman's nose.

Thirty-nine-year-old Whitehall Township resident Michele Schneck says she felt like she was a character in the tornado scene of "The Wizard of Oz."

Yes, the famous scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy broke her nose, but returned to score 45 for Kansas University in a regional final in the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament.

Flying Ice Injures Allentown Driver [AP/CBS 3]
Feb. 16: Rendell: Stranding Hundreds Of Motorists On Highways For 24 Hours Not Official Pennsylvania State Policy

Posted by D-Mac at 01:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

March 12, 2007

Weather Emergency Preparedness Week Just In Time For The End Of Weather Emergencies

Now that it's almost spring (!) and the chances for any more significant snowfall continue to dwindle, the state of Pennsylvania is apparently ready to finally correct the problems of the snafu on Interstate 78 last month.

Now, nobody at PennDOT is going to purgatory, at least not yet. No, in Pennsylvania it's Weather Emergency Preparedness Week, where the state agencies will practice what to do in the case of inclement weather.

One might think that it'd be a better idea to have Weather Emergency Preparedness Week before winter, the weather that causes the state the most problems, but then you obviously haven't seen the upcoming Sunstroke Prevention Week, October 14-20, 2007.

It's Weather Emergency Preparedness Week in Pa. [KYW 1060]
Feb. 12: PennDOT To Be Darned To Heck

Posted by D-Mac at 10:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

February 26, 2007

Forecast From The Heavens

I missed this on the first readthrough, but apparently Jesus' message wasn't just that of tolerance and peace, but also of low pressure systems and freezing rain:

Christ said that overnight the region could get 2 to 4 inches of snow from the eastbound storm - 3 to 5 if it combined with a storm moving north off the coast from the Carolinas.

As you can see from the photo, in addition to a freezing rain headed our way, Jesus has also made an incredibly good call -- phew! -- by rejecting the Devil's calls to worship him in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world. Although, ah, judging by the leaders we have now, one with a message of tolerance, love and peace might be kind of a nice break.

Winter, Round Two [Inquirer]
Temptation of Jesus [Wikipedia]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)