July 17, 2008

Temporary Tattoo Leads To Lawsuit

Hey, here's the absolutely strange story of the (yester)day: A New Jersey woman is suing a surgeon for putting a temporary tattoo on a patient. Wait, what?

In a lawsuit filed yesterday, a Camden County woman accused her orthopedic surgeon of "rubbing a temporary tattoo of a red rose" on her belly while she was under anesthesia.

The patient discovered the tattoo below the panty line the next morning, when her husband was helping her get dressed to go home after the operation for a herniated disc, her attorney, Gregg A. Shivers, said in a phone interview yesterday.

Even if no harm is meant, putting a mark on a patient for fun is probably not something a doctor should be doing. Fortunately, lawsuits always resolve fairly and everything will probably work out. Er, wait.

Surgeon sued for giving anesthetized patient temporary tattoo [Inquirer]
Photo of Rose Tattoo Cafe. Get it? Eh? Eh?

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January 02, 2008

Perfect Relationship Somehow Fails

Today, in the Daily News' first edition of 2008, the paper declares: The tattoo is dead! Or, rather, some people regret their tattoos and want to get them removed, which can be costly and/or hard. You may remember this story hook from the first episode of The Simpsons.

Anyway, whatevs, lots of people have tattoos, sometimes they end up hating them, etc., etc. Writer Wendy Ruderman finds the best story ever:

Donna Maleczkowicz's boyfriend convinced her to get his initials - "CS" - inked on her bikini line during a drunken escapade. At the time, she had been dating him for just a month. They met at Delilah's, the Center City gentlemen's club, where she still works as a hostess.

"I really, really thought that he was the one," she said last week.

Oh, yes, I can't believe it didn't work out.

Continue reading "Perfect Relationship Somehow Fails"

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July 03, 2007

Old Man Tells Tattooed Kids To Get Off His Lawn

An old man -- perhaps not old in age, but definitely in spirit -- has a column in the Daily News today complaining about tattoos being ugly. In case you didn't get that the first time, I"ll repeat: An old man has a column in the Daily News today complaining about tattoos being ugly.

Daniel Cirucci, a PR consultant who is defiling my name, begins his tome by writing about how young people are inspired to get tattoos because of Angelina Jolie and Allen Iverson. (One might think that since tattoos are popular, it would only make sense celebrities would have tattoos as well. Then again, one might also think to not write a column whining about tattoos.) He also names Mary J. Blige, who I hear the kids are really into these days.

He then says that some jobs don't want you to have visible tattoos! And the Marines don't want you to have tattoos -- because if there's one group of people who don't have tattoos, it's soldiers. Then, he goes on to write that the Bible forbids tattoos.

Let's face it, tattoos don't age well, and the sentiments they express often turn out to be the product of a temporary bout of insanity - or passion. And speaking of sentiments, the Bible long ago weighed in on body adornment proclaiming: "You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead or incise any marks on yourself."

You people with tattoos are so insane! Why can't you listen to the phrase in a book written by the omnipotent deity I worship who also told Abraham to kill his son like normal people!

The column ends with a proclamation: If you won't stop having a tattoo for God, or for your employer, or for a non-tattooed celebrity, then won't you do it for Daniel Cirucci?

The idea is that your body is the temple of your soul, an instrument on loan from God to contain your essence and you should not deface it. Makes sense to me.

Yet many people don't seem to get the message. Which makes me want to ask: Why bother with a tattoo when there are kinder, gentler ways to make a statement, demonstrate your love, show your affiliation or remember a loved one? Besides, some of us would rather not see your tattoos anyway. There are enough in-your-face sentiments being expressed everywhere we turn. We don't need any more.

So here's my summer plea: Do the world a favor. Think long and hard before you get a tattoo.

And if you already have one, cover it up or consider having it removed.

Hey, Daniel, here's an idea: We don't want to hear your inane ramblings about things that annoy you. Next time you come up with one, don't tell anybody. Jesus. This column was more of a waste of ink than any tattoo.

Too much ugly ink [Daily News]

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April 30, 2007

Is Barbaro The Best? Boy I Guess!

Neigh! Yesterday was Zombie Barbaro's fourth birthday, and about 500 fans crowded Delaware Park -- where Barbaro won its first race -- for an emotional tribute to the late horse.

How big was the day? One person came from South Africa to celebrate Barbaro! The News Journal has a photo of Barbaro co-owner Gretchen Jackson "kneeling as if in prayer," which must mean she's... I dunno. Why would she pantomime a prayer?

The best anecdote of the day, though, comes from the Inquirer's Mike Jensen, who probably thought his days of covering Barbaro were over -- but, no, he's going to be writing about this damn horse for the rest of his life.

The passion at Delaware Park was real. The most graphic example: One woman had a tattoo of Barbaro across her back.

Can all the Barbaro fans get this tattoo? 'Cuz then I'd be able to make sure any girl I meet in a bar isn't a Barbaro fan. "Excuse me, before we begin talking, can I see your back?"

Fans of Barbaro gather to celebrate his birthday [Inquirer]
Remembering Barbaro [The News Journal]
Archives: Barbaro

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May 11, 2006

Quickies: Keep Your Clothes On In NoLibs

• The Scores in Northern Liberties has been voted down by the zoning board, who said they were okay with a strip club, just not at that location. In other news, Delilah's Den received the okay for an extension, so, y'know, next year's Entertainer of the Year™ contest should be even bigger! Whoo! [Daily News]

• Okay, so Pennsylvania and Utah are the only states that make you buy alcohol in state stores (Nevermind; I had bad info. Whoops!); New Jersey and Oregon are the only ones that won't let you pump your own gas. Well, the only state where you couldn't get a tattoo was Oklahoma, until the government legalized it yesterday. AP story sez: "Previous attempts to lift the ban over the past decade were fought on health as well as moral grounds." Expect the GOP to come up with a "federal tattoo amendment" in time for the November elections. [AP/Yahoo!]

• The search has intensified for the man alleged to have killed police officer Gary Skerski. Daily News letter writers, of course, are concerned about the Tuesday Daily News coverage, alleging some sort of "trivializing." Erhm. [DN]

• Absentee ballots from a Neshaminy nursing home accidentally ended up at Patrick Murphy's office. Murphy is the ex-military man who's running as a Democrat for Congress. And they're looking to see if this is against the law! "If they're looking to prosecute somebody because their ride came late, I'd say that's trying to hit a fly with a sledgehammer," says the deputy chairman of the Democrats in Buxco. Please, Mr. Chairman, sledgehammers are a good way of getting rid of flies. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Did USA Today just break a story on how the NSA has a huge database of all calls made seemingly everywhere by everyone in America? Impressive. Also, uhm, sigh. [USA Today]

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