January 22, 2007
Founded By Penn Alums, Urban Was Founded By Penn Alums
It's been a while since we all checked in with Penn wunderkind/investigative journalist
Stephen Morse.
Let's see what he's up to now (copied verbatim):
Last week when my friend brought home a reusable ice luge ice luge from Urban Outfitters, I couldn’t stop singing the praises of the Penn-alum founded company founded by Penn alums that opened its doors for the first time in at 43rd and Locust 43rd and Locustin the 1970s.
Yes, but where did it open? And who founded it? And what reusable product did your friend buy? Answers, Stephen, we need answers!
Keffieh faux-pas [The Spin @ DP.com]
Posted by D-Mac at 11:09 AM
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December 15, 2006
PWD People Of The Year: Stephen Morse
Back before I was even a "hungry young cub" -- description of me courtesy of Phillymag -- I was an editor for two years at the Daily Pennsylvanian, Penn's student paper. And so, I know that every semester the columnists change in a process that's both long and annoying as hell and makes you wonder how anyone ever got into Penn since oh my God, none of these people can write.
But I digress. This means -- and brace yourself for this -- we could be losing Stephen Morse. For the past semester, Morse has been an online columnist on the DP's The Spin. And there's no telling if he'll re-apply or, even if he does, if he'll be selected.
Consider this an impassioned plea to both Morse and the DP editorial board. We cannot lose Stephen Morse. Consider:
Clearly, Stephen Morse was a Person of the Year for 2006. I think he deserves a shot at a repeat nomination.
Philadelphia Will Do People of the Year | The List So Far
Archives: Stephen Morse
Posted by D-Mac at 04:34 PM
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December 11, 2006
'The Broken Light.. Is Merely.. Taped Up.. With... Duct Tape! What Is The City Of Philadelphia Doing To Us?!'
Here it is, folks, the latest gem from Stephen Morse, everyone's favorite Daily Pennsylvanian columnist.
I can't really make this any better than it already is, but I'll just add this: On viewing number 11 or 12, it gets really good.
Put up a stop sign before someone gets hurt [DP's The Spin]
YouTube Monday: Even Penn's Golf Carts Are Almost Mowing Down Students! [IvyGate]
Archives: Stephen Morse
Posted by D-Mac at 02:28 PM
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November 13, 2006
This Muckraking Smells Like Roses
Philadelphia Will Do's favorite Penn student,
Stephen Morse, is at it again.
After breaking the news on Bob Casey's pro-life stance and taking a hard stand against Pulitzer Prize finalists praising Penn buildings, what kind of muck is Morse exposing now? Oh, it's the biggest scoop of all:
I walked into Logan Hall last Friday to meet with my College advisor. But I barely made it to the College office, as the stench in the Logan lobby was so unbearable. I know this smell from locker rooms and sporting events— it was 100% body odor.
I have experienced this same horrid stench upon entering this building for class. Either someone smells really bad and is contaminating the whole building, or there is some type of mold problem.
If I worked in this major University building, I would be livid. When simply walking through an entrance is practically a crippling experience, one has to ask the question: what is Facilities up to?
Good thing he lets us know he'd be livid. Considering our first introduction to Stephen Morse was when he went to a rally to stop the Darfur genocide and came away pissed at American blacks, who knew he'd get upset at things?
This is an important piece of reporting, though, if only it shows that the building where pre-frosh meet with their advisors smells like B.O. when they enter. Clearly, it's a good introduction to the school where they'll be spending the next four years.
An unbearable stench [DP's The Spin]
Archives: Stephen Morse
Posted by D-Mac at 03:30 PM
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November 08, 2006
Breaking: Poll Workers Are Idiots
Ahh, yes, this video was shooting across the conservative Internets yesterday as some sort of example of "Philadelphia voter intimidation." To me it looks more like "poll watcher intimidation," since I don't quite see any voters being intimidated. In fact, to call it "voter intimidation" would be what we in the biz call "a lie."
Highlight of the short, though:
- The cameraman saying, "Call the cops, I dare y--" before realizing how stupid that would sound.
- The look on the woman's face when she says you're not going to be getting in.
- The random dude at the end who after being denied entry goes, "The cops are right here, you fools!" (This is a DP kid, isn't it?)
- Oh, and a tipster said that someone talking on this video is noted Penn online columnist Stephen Morse. (Behind the camera?) God, I love this city.
Ahh, Philadelphia. Congratulations, poll workers and poll watchers at "the scene at 6125 Market Street." You've surely done your part for democracy by all being ridiculously annoying.
Update: Kid in the video is Stephen Morse. But of course.
Red-Faced [Blinq]
Posted by D-Mac at 11:36 AM
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November 03, 2006
Breaking News, Story Of The Century Edition
This comes in from a loyal reader:
From: [redacted]
To: dmac @ pwd
Subject: BREAKING NEWS
As i walked down Walnut Street, Stephen Morse came running down the stairs in front of 38xx Walnut. He then went into what i can only call a waddle run -- jogging as if he had just spent the six hours riding a horse. (Editor's Note: My running form is much worse.) Naturally, i picked up my pace to see what the fuss was all about.
All i bothered to hear was a voicemail he left: "Morse here. Call me back -- I've got such a big scoop."
Keep your eyes peeled for the STORY OF THE CENTURY.
Oh, don't worry, we will. We will.
Archives: Stephen Morse
Posted by D-Mac at 03:07 PM
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Bob Casey Jr.: The Son Of Bob Casey Sr.!
Philadelphia Will Do continues its series today on Penn's Stephen Morse -- he gets his own category now! If you're unfamiliar with Morse, he's the
one who chastized black people for not being as good as Jews as well as the greatest architecture critic on the East Coast,
Oh, he's also the knower of all truth and muckraker. Today he reports on Bob Casey, and whines that, well, Casey wouldn't let him bypass the press conference and ask him questions outside before an event at Penn. Then, after criticizing the other "journalists" for submitting to a "press conference" -- as if any respectable journalist would do such a thing! -- and drops this more-exclusive-than-anything-on-Phawker report:
Very few people know that Bob Casey describes himself as a "pro-life" candidate.
Tune in next week for a scoop about how President Bush supports the War in Iraq!
Thanks for the elbow to the stomach! [DP's The Spin]
Posted by D-Mac at 10:49 AM
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November 02, 2006
With Penn Kids, All Stereotypes Always True
It's been a while since Philadelphia Will Do has checked in on Penn's Stephen Morse, online columnist and
white Darfur supporter, even if you black people are too busy to support a brother.
Let's see what he's up to on the Daily Pennsylvanian's blog:
One month ago, Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron hailed Penn’s newest building, Skirkanich Hall, as “the city’s best new building in years." Well, Inga, I have no architecture degree, but you should really be out of a job. To me, this building is nothing more than a giant glassy booger. [...]
Speaking of Pottruck, it’s architecturally a pretty cool building. So is Huntsman Hall. But why didn’t the architecture critics step up to bat for these structures? Our side of the Schuykill is also blessed with the awesome Cira Centre, but Inga Saffron arrogantly calls the creation “standoffish.” She also believes that “the difference is that Cira is a commercial office tower and Skirkanich is a work of art.” [...]
Maybe Skirkanich hall is just a butterface, and her real beauty lies on the inside. Editor's Note: Link to Urban fucking Dictionary for "butterface" not added by me.
Yeah! Why didn't the architecture critics agree with Stephen Morse, Knower Of Everything?! They should totally lose their jobs -- lose their jobs! -- so we can get better architecture commentary like "it's like a booger!" I can't wait until his treatise, "City Hall: A Piece Of Poop," comes out.
Skirkanich: One not-so-fab lab [DP's The Spin]
Posted by D-Mac at 03:43 PM
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September 18, 2006
If Shitty Bands Can't Stop Genocide, Who Can?
Penn student and online
Daily Pennsylvanian columnist Stephen Morse
went to a rally against the Darfur genocide recently and posted about it on the
DP's blog.
Morse was shocked -- shocked! -- that the rally was mainly attended by rich priviliged people who had the time to attend the rally. And he blasts American blacks for not attending.
My problem was the sea of white faces who were rallying in Central Park against the injustices of the Sudan. In every corner of the field I counted no more than 20 minorities among the tens of thousands of people who were packed into the park. ¶ I also observed (not scientifically, I must admit) that the majority of the crowd were Jews.
We can only assume that he went around Central Park checking to see if the males were circumsized to confirm this not scientific (he must admit!) hypothesis.
I approached each black person I saw throughout the day. The scary thing was that I saw but one person the entire day who was African-American, rather than an immigrant from Africa.
This event was a disgrace. It was not a unified America. It was a majority of Jews and some Catholics from their faith-based organizations, and a contingent of hippie liberals from Amnesty International. There were no Muslims there.
Ahh, see, he approached every black person and assumedly asked them why there weren't more black people at the event. Way to make them feel welcome! Not sure how he checked to see if there weren't any Muslims there, though. Maybe there was an anti-Pope rally across the street or something.
American Jews stepped up to the plate this summer to help their brothers and sisters in Israel. When will African-Americans do the same for their brothers and sisters in Darfur?
Well, at least he didn't write "brothas and sistas."
After an imam gave a speech Morse didn't like, it appeared that he'd get some salvation for the rest of the afternoon. Unfortunately...
Not even a performance by OAR to end the event could help the crowd overcome such harsh and dismal words.
You see, people? OAR is against genocide! Why didn't you get your free $15 bus from your Ivy League university's Hillel to attend?
Barely a dark face in the crowd [The Spin]
Editor's Note: This is headline is approaching "He lost a toe, but gained a thumb" status.
Update, 10:00 a.m.: Fixed (1) the bus cost $15 and (2) Morse's first name.
Posted by D-Mac at 11:14 AM
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