June 28, 2007

Subject Line Of The Week

Somebody, please, return this guy's notebook: He had a bunch of notes on how to spell common words in there.

Writer looses Notebook [Craigslist]

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May 02, 2007

DCCC Threatening Emailer Is -- Surprise! -- An Idiot

As you've probably heard, Delaware County Community College has been closed for the past several days due to a threatening email received by teachers and staff members.

All five campuses (campi?) will reopen today with extra security, even though police have not found the source of these emails. The full text of the email was released yesterday. It was signed by "J Feathers," which means it was sent by a bird or something. Here's the email via CBS 3. No, it wasn't sent by Alycia Lane. Everything below is [sic], of course:

jus so u kno i'm sick of everything, i can't stand my life anymore. i'm sick of ppl stressing me out at that school, so i'm jus letting u know in case that i'm going to get 2 weapons from a friend n i'm goin to kill everyone at this damn school. i'm so frustrated, jus so anyone wants to kno when this coming Monday or tuesday. take my notice seriously, cause i'm giving 1 Chance of survival. It wilbe done at exton and downingtown camp."

Yeesh. I'm glad the police investigated this email, but shouldn't someone be investigating Delco Community College's English department as well?

Security Increased As Classes Resume At DCCC [CBS 3]

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January 17, 2007

It's Pronounced Fugg-A-Tives

Even if the headline had correct spelling, I think I'd still be confused.

Bucks County Fugatives Go Online [NBC 10]

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September 25, 2006

Chat™: Cooking Butter With Pauline Paula Deel Dean Somebody

Oh snap! It's Teresa Time!

anonymous reader: hey, whatever happened to teresa masterson's diet?

pwddmac: hm. i dunno. she does have a new blog entry up. it's about meeting chef paula deel.
pwddmac: looks like she has about as much of a followthrough as i do on dieting.
reader: Paula Deen?
pwddmac: paula dean? that's the name of that woman, right?
reader: it's Paula Deen!
pwddmac: i keep wanting to write "pauline kael." god, i am such a nerd.
reader: oh my god!
reader: yes you are!
pwddmac: i don't watch food network. who is this woman?
reader: you don't like cooking, so you have no need to know who paula deen is
reader: she's a jolly southern lady who cooks with pounds and pounds of butter.
pwddmac: so, really good for TM's diet?
reader: oh, absolutely.
pwddmac: i liked the part where she teresa revealed deen learned how to deep-fry butter
pwddmac: i was wondering how to make butter less healthy.
reader: i'm sure paula could teach you how to, ha
reader: actually, paula's sons are on the food network now too
reader: shut up - we watch a lot of crap television during the day on the weekends
pwddmac: yeah, i'm doing more important things like trying to win a third college world series in four seasons in mvp 06.
reader: but still, maybe more entertaining than "ham on the road" or whatever their show is called.
pwddmac: their show is called "ham on the road"? is it like an antiques roadshow for food?
reader: it's as ridiculous as it sounds.
reader: can we talk about the lead for a sec?
reader: "You have got to be doing something extraordinary if you are a 59-year-old mom, who spends most of your time in the kitchen, and men and women in their 20s and 30s are bragging to their friends about meeting you. I’m not talking about Cher."
reader: first off, it's a little pretentious.
reader: secondly, how does cher fit in?
reader: i'm confused.
pwddmac: i don't know if it's pretentious. it's just a little overstated. i don't know how great paula deel could be unless unless she cooks food for refugees in darfur or something.
pwddmac: now, the headline "the deen of women," that's a little pretentious.
reader: paula deen!
reader: paula deen!
pwddmac: whatever. i bet sher can't spell her name correctly, either.
pwddmac: can we talk about the closing line?
pwddmac: Teresa Masterson, 9/21/06: "We do too, Paula. We do too." Daniel "Dan" McQuade, 12/9/02: "Me, too, coach. Me, too."
reader: anyway, this blog is completely pointless
pwddmac: this blog entry? or all of her blogs?
pwddmac: or all blogs in general?
pwddmac: please say that one.
reader: if i say "all blogs in general" then it's a sad statement about what i read while i'm supposed to be doing my job now, isn't it?
reader: i just mean - the only thing we learn in this blog is that paula deen is a good hugger
pwddmac: just like we learned about al roker, actually.
reader: right. i'm mildly concerned about her and the hugging.
reader: did she hug that guy who made her work in his kitchen?
reader: please look at the slideshow
pwddmac: there really are a lot of hugs.
reader: hugs can be awkward
reader: especially when they are with STRANGERS
pwddmac: who you're interviewing
reader: oh please. this is not an interview.
reader: it's a description of butter and hugs
reader: with a little bit of scatalogical humor thrown in. nice!
reader: i have a new favorite line: "... riddled with chuckles."
pwddmac: riddle me this, paula deen!
pwddmac: did i get her name right this time?
reader: yes! well done.

Blog: True Grits -- A Conversation With Paula Deen [NBC 10]
Archives: Teresa Masterson

Posted by D-Mac at 02:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)