May 15, 2007

Which Rich Guy Will Lead The City For 8 Years?

And here we go.

We've been through Milton Street singing on top of a casket. We've had Bob Brady tell us elephants will return to the zoo in his administration. We've had Tom Knox promise not to show movies at Dilworth Plaza. We've had Dwight Evans ask us not only where the beef is, but also tell us his crime record is beefy.

Michael Nutter told us he'd be opening up a shop to sell Philly-themed merchandise. Chaka Fattah brought out Shaft to attempt to win our votes. Bob Brady didn't know how a pension works. (That's okay, Bob, most of Philadelphia doesn't know what "vested" means either.) Tom Knox didn't know what Gilligan's Island was.

A guy in a shark costume told us not to vote Tom Knox. (He disappeared after Frank Keel got in the way and is presumed dead.) PW told you to vote for the mayor that looks good with a big nose and glasses. Jim Kenney predicted voters would vote for the guy they saw on the teevee most, and he may have been right.

The gay newspaper endorsed Brady. The bilingual one endorsed Knox. Every candidate told us he was just like us! Queena Bass continued to run for mayor while homeless man Jesus White took his first shot at the ballot. People got angry on messageboards and blogs. Websites were trolled. Accusations of racism were flung. These things happen.

Sam Katz told us the mayor's race would be close, then positioned himself for an independent run, then told us it'd be Nutter in a landslide. Sam Katz will be here to kick around for a while.

Fattah told us Mike Nutter had to remind himself he's African-American. (And Milton Street said Nutter was the Watermelon Man.) Somebody told us Knox was a good Catholic while Brady and Nutter didn't go to Catholic church anymore.

After today, it will -- let's pray -- all be over and some rich guy will be in position to lead the city for eight years, unless Al Taubenberger has photos of the eventual winner with a donkey who is not his wife. It might be the union guy or the poverty guy or the smart guy or the really rich guy or the "Who's the beef?" guy.

Hey, look at it this way: It won't be John Street.

It's election day! If you see anything exciting at the polls, notice a news anchor flashing viewers, find a funny campaign sign and/or anything else ridiculous, drop me a line at dmac [AT] philadelphiawilldo [.] com. If the day is exciting enough, I'm hoping youse can do my job for me. Then I can put my feet up.

[.pdf of Milton logo]

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April 24, 2007

Sam Katz To Try For Golden Sombrero Of Mayor's Race?

Well, well, well. Looks like we bloggers are starting to become so popular we can use our blogs to launch ourselves to even greater heights. Plenty of blogs throw parties, ESPN.com bought that basketball blog and Mayoral race blogger Sam Katz might run for mayor.

Wait, what?

The Phillymag mayoral race blogger who did not, I repeat, did not run for mayor after Richardson Dilworth left office recently switched his registration from Republican to Independent.

When asked by the Inquirer's Marcia Gelbart whether he was going to run, Katz said he was just keeping his options open. An independent run would most likely attempt to grab the large percentage of Democratic voters who don't vote for the eventual winner in the primary as well as the city's Republican party's large anti-Al Taubenbeger base.

The big winner with this move is, of course, Philadelphia Weekly editorial cartoonist Jay Bevenour, who predicted a Sam Katz win back in December of last year (panel three). If Katz does eventually win, if he doesn't say "Ha ha, bitches!" I'm going to be incredibly disappointed.

Katz moves into position to run [Inquirer]
Hoagie Dip 12/25/06 [Bevenour.com]
Archives: Sam Katz

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April 10, 2007

Katz Comments On Cocaine-Related Election Loss

Not content to just hear former mayoral candidate Sam Katz in the Philadelphia Will Do comments? Well, you're in luck! Today marks the release of the DVD of The Shame of a City, a mockumentary about what it'd be like if the incumbent mayor came up with an pretty ridiculous lie and it convinced a majority of the city to vote for him.

Ha ha, just kidding! It's an actual documentary about that actual event and how it happened. You see, during the run-up to the election, a bug planted by the FBI was found in Street's office.

The Democratic machine immediately realized how this could be spun: Evil warmongers George Bush and John Ashcroft were attempting to find a way to indict all Democrats in politics, even mayors of large East Coast cities. This was, of course, utter bullshit, but that didn't stop people from believing it. (I really thought I had mocked the idea Bush was attempting to get John Street about it in this old column of mine from college, but apparently I didn't. Oh, and that column's not very good, but it does contain a reference to John Street's bumbling, which means my jokes haven't gotten any different in four years.)

Anyway, Sam Katz actually has a commentary on the DVD, which The Bulletin tells us is most interesting and angry. (If it's half as good as the R. Kelly commentary on Trapped in the Closet, it'll be great.)

Continue reading "Katz Comments On Cocaine-Related Election Loss"

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April 09, 2007

Sam Katz Angrily Responds To Idiot Blogger

In case you didn't notice it, former mayoral candidate Sam Katz wasn't all that happy with my post about his mayor's race blog for Phillymag's website. Apparently, I didn't take his blog seriously enough or something. Here's what he wrote:

Sorry you don't like the blog but that's why there are plenty of choices for you to post your thoughts on. Notwithstanding your historical re-write, my perennial runs were in 1991, 1999 and 2003. Dilworth left office in 1962 (I was 13). In any case, I will try to keep your suggestions for more insightful analysis in mind though, I suspect, you are not one whose mind is open to insight. As for wishing I didn't know anything about blogs, rest assured that won't be the case. I can live with the critics. Can you?

I usually don't respond to critics in the comments, because they're usually either (1) right or (2) Barbaro/pet lovers threatening to kill me. Also, there's usually more important things to do, like play Final Fantasy. But after confirming it was actually Sam Katz -- I was kind of hoping for a Katz impersonator myself¹ -- I decided to respond. Additionally, I added some explanations in footnotes at the bottom of the post in case Sam Katz decides to read my blog again.²

Continue reading "Sam Katz Angrily Responds To Idiot Blogger"

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April 06, 2007

Sam Katz: The Mayor's Race Might Be Close!

Hey, everybody: Remember Sam Katz? Wait, no? Oh, come on. Until this year, he ran for mayor at the end of every administration since Richardson Dilworth. Still no? Damn, you people have no memory.

Anyway, the former perennial mayoral candidate now has a blog, even though he "didn’t really know much about blogs before." (Hat tip to Sam: Give it two weeks and you'll be ready to wish you were back in the time when you didn't know much about blogs.)

Katz is doing his mayoral blog for Phillymag, which means he should be doing an advertorial for the magazine in a few months. Oh, I'm sorry, that's article subjects who get to do that.

So what wisdom is the former next mayor imparting on us?

It’s still too early, though, to make any kind of prediction. Voters haven’t focused and don’t know these candidates very well. Nothing has crystallized, and no one has really laid a glove on anybody else yet.... this is an election that will likely be decided by a few thousand votes, or fewer. It could end up in court, just where it began.

To recap: (1) The mayor's race is still wide open. (2) The mayor's race will be close. Thanks, Sam!

The Katz Report [Phillymag]
Ex-Mayoral Candidate Sam Katz Has A New Political Blog [KYW 1060]
Related: Hoagie Dip 12/25/2006

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March 02, 2007

Mayor's Race Roundup: Nutter Continues Solid, Smart Campaign Built On Issues That Nobody Really Wants To Pay Attention To

• While Milton Street was singing, Michael Nutter was introducing his zoning reform. Bor-ing! Wake us up when Nutter dances the cha-cha-cha while singing "What's Going On?" [The Next Mayor]

• A Democrat in Northeast Philly wants Republican mayoral 35-percent-of-the-vote getter Al Taubenberger to drop off the face of the earth; or, actually, to leave the Philadelphia Parking Authority board. Since Taubenberger is not going to, uh, win, everyone involved says that, no, he can stay on the board. [Northeast Times]

• Chaka Fattah responded to Sam Katz' assertion that his plan for taxing drivers who come into the city is "racially divisive." He says it, uh, isn't. His plan to tax white people for breathing, though, is still under fire. [Metro]

• Meanwhile, Gar Joseph reports people are attempting to convince Johnny Doc to endorse Bob Brady. In a normal mayoral election, this would be a complete shocker. In this race, it's pretty much below average. [Daily News]

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February 28, 2007

Mayor's Race Roundup: Milton-Free Edition

With all the Milton Street news going around, sometimes it's easy to forget there are other candidates running for mayor. Yes! That's right! I didn't know either, but I looked it up, and apparently there are, like, five other Democrats running! So let's do a little round-up in what could become a daily feature for a whole week before I forget about it.

• Bob Brady not only picked up the endorsement of the FOP but also that of Lynne Abraham. He's looking to complete the law-and-order trifecta by getting the crucial endorsement of ADA Jack McCoy. [Fight For Room 215; 6 ABC]

• But at least three of the other candidates were able to address the FOP in an attempt to get their endorsement. The FOP didn't even want to hear Chaka Fattah because he failed to vote "Yes" -- by, indeed, voting "No" -- on a bill in the House of Representatives bashing a town in France for naming a street after Mumia Abu-Jamal. (Also he wants a new trial for the man convicted of the 1981 murder of Daniel Faulkner.) So, yes, it's a street in France is playing a role in this year's mayor's race. [Metro]

• Speaking of Fattah, PW's own Kia Gregory has a nice Chaka Fattah cover story today about how Fattah once competed in the Wing Bowl. Okay, so it's actually about his career in politics and why he wants to be mayor and all that jazz. But I do believe if El Wingador ran for mayor, he'd win. [Philadelphia Weekly]

• And here's Fattah's technology plan and Michael Nutter's emergency plan. The city currently doesn't really have a, how you say, " a real good plan" to deal with emergencies in the case of an attack or hurricane or whatever. [The Next Mayor]

• Oh, and Metro Anthony DiMeo beat reporter Josh Cornfeld Brian X. McCrone -- the 'X' is for "Malcolm" -- asked Sam Katz what he felt about the mayor's race. And Sam Katz, of course, played the race card. This mayor's race is a play, and everyone involved in it is just an actor. That has to be it. [Fight For Room 215]

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