July 14, 2008

The Revolution Will Be 1200 Pages Long

Since the last time I posted a photo of Ron Paul from the Reason blog things turned out well, why not do it again?

On Saturday, there was a "Revolution March" on Washington; Reason naturally covered it and took photos. Here's the best one:

Atlas Shrugged, eh? I can only assume he reads Lifehacker.

Wonkette has more photos.

Posted by D-Mac at 06:24 PM | Comments (2)

May 14, 2008

Ron Paul Clone To Run For N.J. Senate

Oh no. Some dude is running for Senate in New Jersey and... oh no, he's a maverick! But, uh, not one like Walnuts McCain -- who, uh, isn't a maverick -- one like... you know who.

Contending that Washington is "bankrupt" of both money and ideas, Dr. Murray Sabrin said the country is in a "perfect economic storm" that demands a return to free enterprise and confines the federal government to the role outlined in the U.S. Constitution.

"There's nothing (in the Constitution) about agriculture, housing, education, or energy," Sabrin, an economics professor at Ramapo College, said. He proposes that the federal departments bearing those names and functions be eliminated. Social Security would also be phased out under Sabrin's plan, with new workers shifting their contributions to 401(k) plans.

Yes, that's right, a libertarian doctor is running for Senate in New Jersey. We can shortly expect Dr. Sabrin to have a blimp, his own coinage and an army of angry online followers. And, look, thinks are going well for Maverick Murray so far!

Sabrin calls himself "Maverick Murray" and, lacking support from the party establishment, has striven for media attention in the primary in novel ways, such as inviting people to bet on his pick in the Kentucky Derby (Cowboy Cal) and contribute the winnings to his campaign.

Cowboy Cal finished sixth, out of the money.

Well, at least Cowboy Cal didn't die, like Hillary Clinton's horse.

Maverick label a fit for Sabrin [Camden Courier-Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:22 PM | Comments (21)

April 25, 2008

Gold Prices Soar Because Of Ron Paul

Now that John "Walnuts" McCain has clinched the Republican nomination, it's only fitting that everything seems to be going Ron Paul's way -- now that he has exactly zero shot of becoming president.

First, there's the ongoing spike in gold prices and the popularity of gold parties, where everybody gets together and sells their gold to some dude who then sells it for higher on Jeweler's Row. (I don't know if they're popular, but I heard it on the radio.) Ron Paul pays his bills in gold bars, so while he spends a lot of money on postage, he's doing well in the pocket right now.

Then, there's his 16 percent showing in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. Joe Murray in The Bulletin (your source for Republican primary news!) says the 27 percent Paul and Mike Huckabee received in the primary might mean people don't like John McCain, then goes and quashes his own argument.

But, still, people still do love some Ron Paul, or at least love the things he loves (i.e., gold). This will surely culminate in his takeover of the White House via write-in vote this November, after which he will abolish the federal government, including the presidency.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:46 AM | Comments (14)

April 23, 2008

Ron Paul Achieves Stunning 16 Percent

The real winner in Pennsylvania yesterday wasn't Hillary Clinton or those of us who never have to see TV ads again. No, of course not: The real winner was none other than Ron Paul, who took 16 percent of the vote for second place in the Keystone State.

Sure, he didn't beat John McCain -- who clinched the nomination weeks ago -- but, then again, only 73% of voting Republicans yesterday selected the GOP nominee. And Ron Paul beat Mike Huckabee (who took third) by around 35,000 votes! Meanwhile, in Bucks County the Ron Paul supporters were "few but proud," says the Courier Times (which has already received a complain about it):

“Ron Paul speaks up and (appeals) to the college kids and the old-timers like myself,” said Joe Mallon, a 71-year-old Paul supporter from Upper Moreland. Mallon said he believes his party has been hijacked by a bunch of neo-conservatives. [...]

Some Republicans said a vote for Paul was a message vote — a way to tell their party they are not happy with its direction and presidential selection. Richard Dekalb, an 80-year-old Republican who lives in Ann's Choice in Warminster, doesn't like McCain and wanted to vote for “anything as far away (from him) as I could.”

Let's all hear it for Ron Paul, the next president of the United States!

Ron Paul surges in Pa. [LA Times]
Ron Paul supporters in GOP were few but proud [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:13 AM | Comments (46)

April 22, 2008

Even Kids Don't Vote For Ron Paul

On this election day, it's important to remember the candidates who have since passed us by and gotten us to this point. On the Democratic side, there's a bunch of well-meaning goobers who couldn't possibly raise as much money or get as many votes as either Obama or Clinton; on the Republican side, there's a ton of idiots who couldn't even beat John McCain. Remember when Fred Thompson from the television was going to be president?

But a students at Robert K. Shafer Middle School in Bensalem were allowed to vote for some of those past candidates in a mock election; naturally, Obama won and Clinton took second. But let's see how the also-rans did!

The seventh- and eighth-graders were asked to pick among Obama, Clinton, John McCain, Ron Paul or Mike Huckabee.

Obama captured about 60 percent of the 253 votes cast in the mock election to Clinton's 30 percent, officials said. McCain received about 9 percent, Huckabee collected just under 1 percent of the vote and Paul received no votes in the mock election, officials said.

Have we extinguished the Ron Paul menace? Is the income tax just not an issue for seventh and eighth graders? All I know is there are some pretty smart seventh- and eighth-graders in Bensalem. No doubt they will soon all be harassed at their homes and places of business by angry Ron Paul fans wondering why they didn't vote for him.

Kids back Obama in mock elections [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:33 AM | Comments (125)

April 17, 2008

Ron And Barney Go To White Castle

My Drug Roar column this week will be about Barney Frank's marijuana decriminalization bill, introduced today.

But -- oh yes! -- did you know who is the lone co-sponsor of the bill?

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) joined Frank as a co-sponsor of the bill.

Ohh, yeah! And you wondered why I endorsed Ron Paul on this website back in February? Uhh, right: Ron Paul may have some stupid ideas, and he may have the most annoying supporters in the world -- but at least he doesn't want to lock you up for smoking weed.

But mainly I'd like to thank Frank and Paul for giving me a nice easy column topic for next week. Hooray!

Posted by D-Mac at 07:58 PM | Comments (3)

April 16, 2008

ABC LOVES RON PAUL

What's really awesome about this debate so far is how ABC is only talking about things that are not important, yet coming in from the first commercial break the network showed dramatic readings of the Constitution as if ABC was dead serious.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:47 PM | Comments (1)

April 08, 2008

Oh, I Almost Forgot

A new book out at the end of the month:

The horror, the horror.

A great new read for spring! [Wonkette]

Posted by D-Mac at 05:22 PM | Comments (1)

April 04, 2008

College-Aged Kids #1 Issue: Income Tax

Praise Zeus! Ron Paul has spoken in the state of Pennsylvania -- at the University of Pittsburgh -- and he got a packed house to cheer him on.

Alli Katz (Friend of D-Mac™, and also a co-worker) notes on Independence Brawl that the biggest cheer Ron Paul got all night was not for his talk of ending the drug war, but for his talk of ending the income tax.

"I didn't realize that people your age knew so much about money and inflation," Paul said. "But it gets the largest applause at college campuses. I figured the first time it happened it was an accident - it was at the University of Southern California. But then at the University of Michigan, they started to burn Federal Reserve notes."

Damn self-hatin' druggie college kids!

Still, it's good to see Ron Paul is in the Keystone State and is somehow still running for president despite McCain clinching the nomination. That kind of panache is going to get my write-in vote come November.

RON PAUL IS STILL ALIVE [Independence Brawl]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:55 PM | Comments (7)

April 03, 2008

RON PAUL RETURNS!

Oh, and you thought I had forgotten about Ron Paul! Puh-leeze. The greatest presidential candidate in American history has been a bit off the radar since dropping out of the race, but he nonetheless will make two appearances in Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately, Paul is staying away from the Philadelphia area, hoping to spread his message of legal prostitution and the gold standard to more rural Pennsylvania: Indiana, Pittsburgh, Gettysburg, Penn State.

But, yes, if you're wondering, Ron Paul is back and is campaigning for a nomination John McCain has already clinched. Or maybe he's just spreading the love all over the Keystone State. I want him to answer that 3 a.m. economic phone call!

Posted by D-Mac at 11:05 AM | Comments (1)

March 07, 2008

Ron Paul Has 'Em Right Where He Wants

Although his website says there are now only two contenders left in the presidential race, it appears noted Internet meme Ron Paul is dropping out of the presidential race.

Despite already saying he was dropping out of the race last month, In a message to his "supporters" last night Paul essentially conceded he wasn't going to win the presidency in a YouTube video.

Paul most likely decided to drop out not because John McCain has mathematically clinched the nomination, but because his supporters do not, in a sense, "exist." If you've been following this blog for the past few months, you may have known I have been the subject of death threats, complaints to my bosses (asking me to be fired) and other forms of awesome Internet hatred. These all pretty much came from Ron Paul supporters. But after a spam attack took down the website, I posted a link to this Onion story about Paul. It got zero comments.

One doesn't need to be a gynecologist to realize the truth: The new spam filters are catching all the Ron Paul supporters (correctly) as bots designed to post spam. At this point, I'm kind of confused, wondering if Ron Paul himself actually exists. Anyway, even though he's dropped out, he most certainly has a shot at winning the convention after his supporting cast of mind-controlling robots turn all the superdelegates into Ron Paul supporters. At the Democratic convention. Ohh, what a story that will be!

Posted by D-Mac at 11:50 AM | Comments (348)

March 03, 2008

Comments Are Back; Ron Paul Returns!

Hey, now that the comments are back, might as well quote The Onion on Ron Paul:

One assassin told pollsters that he is still hopeful that Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) will be elected in November. However, even if Paul fails to win the presidency, the respondent fully intends to carry out his plans to stab Paul to death in December.

Ha ha! Get ready, Onion, for the inevitable hate mail and online columns denouncing you.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:41 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2008

Socialist Workers Party Running A Candidate Just As Eligible As John McCain

The New York Times big scoop today is, basically, something that's been floating around on stupid Internet messageboards for a while now. (The NYT -- and others -- for some reason think the Internet is real life, and so Matt Drudge and McCain_SuX_6969 get to influence the media.) Anyway, apparently John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which makes him ineligible to be president.

As you know, I'm a bit interested in ineligible candidates (aka "criminals"); I paid a bit of attention to Larry West's ultimately doomed campaign for mayor. And, as such, it's nice to know I'll be able to joke about another (Walnuts!) one in the presidential.

But that doesn't mean he's the only ineligible candidate! In addition to McCain, the presidential race also has Socialist Workers Party candidate Róger Calero. The SWP candidate visited Temple recently, and PW's über-talented Cassidy Hartmann talked with him for her MTV political thing.

Calero was born in Nicaragua, though. While the U.S. had invaded and taken the Panama Canal Zone at the time of McCain's birth (1786), by Calero's time Uncle Sam was content simply to destabilize these countries in more clandestine ways. And while he is of age to run for president, the Constitution forbids him from actually being elected. He can still get on some states' ballots, though (but not Pennsylvania, where it is impossible).

One might think Calero could at least have an army of hilarious online followers, but dedication to the Socialist cause is a little lacking these days. (The illegal presidential candidate summed up Temple the way you could sum up pretty much every school: "Temple is generally a liberal school, but not that liberal in the sense of revolutionary politics.")

But with smaller numbers, it appears the supporters of our fair Socialist candidate are a bit more realistic than fans of a certain other candidate with socialist supporters. Gordon Barnes (at left in photo) brought Calero to Temple, and here's what he said: "We realize Róger’s not going to win." Now if only Ron Paul's supporters could get that. Or, for that matter, John McCain's.

The Candidate for Change? It’s All Relative. [Think MTV]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:25 PM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2008

Another Day, Another Ron Paul Post

Ron Paul -- the silver standard in leadership -- is quite popular on the Internet. We all know this. And if you write something mean about Ron Paul, people get really upset in the comments section of your blog. They are affectionately known as "Paultards." Some of them get legitimately upset about this title.

RJ White runs a blog called The City Desk, which is described on the sidebar as "fictional urbanism." A post about Ron Paul being uninvited by "Watson University" was spotted by a million Technorati Paul supporters and comments like these were left:

• "Yes I agree, your mother raised a failure…. in you."
• "I definitely won’t recommend Watson U to my son."
• "Well, you’ve clearly demonstrated your economic ignorance as well as your poor journalism. Here’s a challenge for you. Let’s see if you can even explain what the gold standard is, what the benefits of it could be, and why it so clearly to you is a joke."

I do believe Ron Paul has a lot of support in the group that likes to be online 24/7, and the support of a decent amount of people in some places. That being said, if a lot of weird Ron Paul commenters were some sort of fake Internet stupids prank by some group, I wouldn't be surprised.

Ex-Candidate Ron Paul Dis-invited [The City Desk]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:23 PM | Comments (57) | TrackBack (0)

February 14, 2008

Saying Goodbye To King Ron Paul

I've been infatuated with the Ron Paul campaign ever since hundreds of ads for him started popping up on certain Internet forums about how great The Libertarian Nightmare is. There are so many questions to ask about the Ron Paul Internet Phenomenon that there's really nowhere to begin.

Sadly, last week Ron Paul pretty much dropped out of the presidential election in order to make sure he doesn't lose his Congressional seat in Texas' March primary. He's going to stay in the race, technically, but even he's realized he has no shot at this point. (Or, ever, but that's another story.)

It's not all bad news for Dr. Paul, though. As CBS 3 reported earlier this month, gold prices are booming! Yes, Ron Paul naturally has a lot of money in gold, consarnit, and CBS 3's Susan Barnett let us know you can sell gold for hundreds of dollars right on Jeweler's Row. Looks like the good doctor won't be suffering without a legion of Internet spambots donating ridiculous amounts of money to him.

Goodbye, Ron. We can only hope the hilarity will continue; somehow, I think it might.

Goodbye Ron Paul: He Has 'Another Priority' [AOL]
The Gold Rush Is On [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:44 PM | Comments (68) | TrackBack (0)

February 11, 2008

Hooray: Paul Supporters Now Being Fined

It isn't just the Main Stream Media and selected blogs where Ron Paul supporters are treated as second-class citizens. No, it turns out local police departments are part of the government-backed cabal against America's Favorite OB-GYN.

But for Cody Hauer, being a Ron Paul supporter may wind up costing more than $550 following four citations in one week from the Owatonna (Minn.) Police Department for having a $40 window decal on the rear window of his Buick Park Avenue. "I support Ron Paul, the city police department doesn't," he said. "They gave me a DWR - driving while Republican."

I'd actually think it's more of a simple DUI, with the illegal substance in this case being thoughts in favor of Dr. Ron Paul. Hauer plans to say that the ban on stickers in car windows violates something called the "First Amendment," which I believe is one of the Ron Paul supporters' made up terms like "gold standard."

It is no surprise this article was reported in the Owatonna People's Press, clearly an arm of the anti-Paul Socialist Party.

Obstructing the view [Owatonna People's Press]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:39 PM | Comments (50) | TrackBack (0)

February 04, 2008

Endorsement Dissent: Ron Paul For President

Today, PW endorses Barack Obama, a move so unsurprising the editorial has to mention it in the first sentence. Obama did coke and is kinda sorta for decriminalizing marijuana, he seems like a nice guy, I can relate to him, so he's clearly a stellar candidate.

However, if you have learned one thing about me from reading this blog for God knows how long, it's that I act selfishly. And what is more selfish than to vote based on merely who provides the most entertainment to me, annoying, lazy blogger? That's right: I want you to vote for Ron Paul.

If it were up to me, I'd encourage you to vote for the gold-loving Ron Paul for king, but Ron Paul loves the constitution so much he wouldn't accept the position of king. And the only candidate for actual change in the race -- this is actually true, sadly -- has a shot to get 10-20 percent in Alaska despite a near blackout by the Main Stream Media. And he loves gold! Who doesn't love gold? No one I know, that's for sure.

Ron Paul wants to get rid of social security and the IRS and the military and close off our borders and murder all the abortion doctors and let us do all the drugs we want (though, oddly, he never mentions this last one). He also is against the Civil War, which means the Union League cannot support him. Ron Paul for King President! What could possibly go wrong?

Wait, don't answer that.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:30 PM | Comments (21) | TrackBack (0)

February 01, 2008

Ron Paul Races Into Final Lap

American hero, gynecologist and presidential candidate Ron Paul is gearing up for a huge weekend. He could win a primary! Okay, so it's only in Maine, and he's the only candidate who visited the state, but, still!

But, once again, it's not all Ameros gold and rainbows for Ron Paul. Previously, Paul supporters had a blimp, which is now grounded. The blimp's backers have an outstanding balance to the blimp company. Earlier this week a group of supporters wanted to sponsor a race car at the Daytona 500, but have now dropped out out of the, uh, race:

As you all can see the vicious lies and attacks on Ron Paul Racing are not stopping, the time and resources spent all week have been too much for our small organization to swat down. Every word in our prior statement is true and verifiable.

We tried to be as open and honest as possible while maintain our ability to discuses options for our car sponsorship with the top people in the industry. Nobody in their right mind will now. I can say we were close to three different deals that would have been mind blowing.

The way I see it, either (a) Wonkette killed Ron Paul Racing or (b) Ron Paul Racing imploded. When are Paul's supporters going to take a cue from this ridiculous Hillary Clinton ad and start skydiving to support the good OB-GYN? (See, that would be good because some of their chutes wouldn't open.)

Posted by D-Mac at 04:30 PM | Comments (27) | TrackBack (0)

January 20, 2008

Ron Paul: Greatest American Ever?

Little inside secret how this business works: Somebody sends out a blast email or Myspace to all the people in the entire world and all the regularly-updated Philly blogs see it and we all post it. If it's not Milton Street knocking over a state store, sometimes I just don't update it even if it's a good story. (Here's an exception.)

By inside secret, of course, I mean common sense; yes, this is why everyone's going to have to start doing more of their own reporting or telling the best lame jokes and posting puppies. (Dibs on the last one.) Some fun changes are coming and that is why things have been somewhat slower, blah blah blah; yes, I will update my links list.

Anyway, Philebrity posted Down The Shore With Jen before I did a while back, and so I didn't. (I knew they were going to beat me to it, too.) And I read it again today and it looks fun and it's a book about the Jersey shore written by a young person in Collingswood. Yeah, it's a guidebook, but, uh, how useful. Here's an Amazon pre-order link. And it's fun and well-reported and it's the Jersey shore. "This is a great way to start your Sunday," Jen Miller writes. Oh, look, it's tied all together.

Continue reading "Ron Paul: Greatest American Ever?"

Posted by D-Mac at 10:30 AM | Comments (27) | TrackBack (0)

January 15, 2008

Ron Paul Supporters Have New Place To Yell

It's only been a few days since Ron Paul supporters tried to ruin a woman's life, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't track future Paultardian threats to our way of life. Presidential candidate/King of the Internet Ron Paul, as you may know, is best known for his band of supporters who will literally rip out your intestines if you don't vote for him. Now they have a new place to congregate!

The Friends of Independence Park have just installed the "People's Plaza" at Independence Hall. The concrete slab is supposed to be a place for protesting, which is what this nation was founded on but is now looked down upon. The Friends, apparently, are for protesting, and so they raised funds to make a place where people could yell at the world while standing on the first amendment carved into the ground.

This Saturday's anti-war protest will be the first event at the granite and marble slab, according to the radio. The protesters also had to get a permit for the event, which is just what the First Amendment requires. Ron Paul for king!

'People's Plaza' Opens On Independence Mall [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:14 AM | Comments (56) | TrackBack (0)

January 03, 2008

Look Who's On Philly.com!

Hey, it's everyone's favorite Greatest Presidential Candidate Ever And Head Of The Ron Paul Revolution, Ron Paul! I tried to watch the Iowa caucuses on CNN but after four minutes I thought I was in danger of dying of stupidity by osmosis, so I went back to SVU. The church in this episode is the same as my parish growing up!

Update: Ron Paul wins the Iowa caucus and is the new President of the United States!

Posted by D-Mac at 08:30 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

January 02, 2008

Ron Paul Supporters Invade Annual Popular Transvestite Parade

Hey, so photographer R. Bradley Maule of Phillyskyline sent me the above photograph -- PLUG: He probably still has calendars for sale, featuring my birthday! -- taken during the Mummers Parade yesterday.

Ron Paul didn't have a whole fancy brigade or string band -- though I hear his supporters tried to hijack, ahh, let's say, Aqua String Band -- but he did have some supporters who were, no doubt, made of gold.

Continue reading "Ron Paul Supporters Invade Annual Popular Transvestite Parade"

Posted by D-Mac at 12:29 PM | Comments (25) | TrackBack (0)

December 26, 2007

Make Fun Of Ron Paul And Get Fired From Your Job

Somebody emailed pretty much every staffer who works at Philadelphia Weekly except me and sent them an email about how my post about Ron Paul made Baby Jesus cry or something. (For reference, Anthony Clifton owns PW.)

What you are allowing is unprofessional. Ron Paul is a presidential candidate. I remember the day JFK was killed. I remember the day MLK was killed. I remember the day RFK was killed. I remember the day George Wallace was shot. I remember the day Ronald Reagan was shot. I remember the day Jerry Ford was almost shot. I am sure there is a Philadelphia way to deal with idiots like Daniel McQuade but in the mean time I feel terminating his position would be enough. If something happens to a Presidential Candidate, the blood will be on your hands and I will point out to the media you had the chance to take the article down or change it and ANTHONY CLIFTON chose not to.

Apparently, telling jokes about and linking to a report about Ron Paul possibly being assassinated by a pot of neo-conservatives is a horrible capital offense or something and I should be fired. And maybe be killed, too? I dunno. Hooray for the Internet!

Posted by D-Mac at 05:10 PM | Comments (48) | TrackBack (0)

Ron Paul: The Next Abraham Lincoln?

Since I fell back on an old standby and made fun of Barbaro and somebody got mad at me (see comments), I figured I'd shoot at another fish in the barrel and make fun of Ron Paul.

I think people actually know who Ron Paul is now, since my mom says she likes his idea of getting rid of the income tax, which he apparently talked about on Meet the Press, and a bunch of other people knew who he was, too. This is the man who doesn't believe in evolution, which probably has no bearing on a president but still sort of creeps me out since it's, like, ninth grade science. Does Ron Paul not believe in Charlemagne from my freshman year world history class, too?

But nothing I can make fun of Ron Paul about is funnier than things his supporters write. Libertarians have been trolling the Internet since around 2001; Ron Paul supporters have just upped the ante by trolling real life with a blimp instead. Ron Paul supporters do not like jokes about Ron Paul. And Ron Paul supporters are dead serious about Ron Paul. Bla bla bla important presidential election whatever.

Fortunately, none of this will matter because some website reports there is a neocon plot to assassinate Ron Paul!

Continue reading "Ron Paul: The Next Abraham Lincoln?"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:33 AM | Comments (96) | TrackBack (0)

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas From Philadelphia Will Do

May your Christmas Day be as joyous as the day you heard the news this stupid horse was finally dead and you'd never have to hear about him again. That's how it went, right?

Posted by D-Mac at 12:00 PM | Comments (32) | TrackBack (0)