Philly Cops Take On Criminals, Grenades

Philly police officer Mark Uffelman was shot in the arm yesterday, but still managed to chase down a robbery suspect, and was even out of the hospital on the same day. Impressive!

What’s even more impressive: Uffelman, 52, finished the Broad Street Run this year in 65 minutes, a 6:30 mile pace for the 10-mile run.

In other cop news today, somebody put a grenade on top of a police cruiser in West Oak Lane. Somebody really has a vendetta against Crown Vics.

Wounded cop runs after suspect - and nabs him [Daily News]
Grenade Found On Philadelphia Police Cruiser [CBS 3]

Thieves Becoming More Benevolent

In recent weeks, several passengers have been robbed by a fake cab driver. (The fake cabby was driving a car with white lettering and a passenger in the front. The driver is a “a black male who was clean shaven” in his mid-20s, so that narrows it down a bit.)

The robbers m.o.: Drive your victims to ATMs, make them take out money, then give them $20 for cab fare home. Aww, isn’t that nice? These guys may steal your wallet and your money, but at least they don’t leave you stranded on a streetcorner for a worse robber to beat you up. Get robbed and get a $20 tip.

Apparently, though, this trend is spreading. Check out a crime log entry from Lower Makefield: “100 block Penn Valley Terr., 8 p.m., Tue, Beach Cruiser bicycle from unlocked garage, left in its place was HARCO Backtrail bicycle, $50 value.”

I can only assume this is some sort of multi-level marketing scam. You steal one bike and exchange it with a better bike you’ve stolen, then you repeat until… well, I dunno, until you have a dirtbike or something else cool. Also, a HARCO bicycle sounds much cooler than a “Beach Cruiser.”

Public safety log for Oct. 11 [Bucks County Courier Times]
Penn student a victim of local taxi robberies [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Gangs Of Preteens Stealing Money For Pogs

Meanwhile, a bunch of Penn kids have been robbed by nine year olds. This happens every once in a while; a few years ago a 14-year-old girl mugged a Penn kid with a butter knife or something.

There have apparently been six incidents on and around the Penn campus. There are separate sets of cute little perps, perhaps as many as six. This means there are bands of marauding burglars aged 9 - 13 or so roaming University City, hoping to separate rich kids from their wallets.

I can joke about this because when I went to Penn I never got mugged or anything, but even if I did I’d still probably be making fun of the students being assaulted by a bunch of nine-year-olds.

Penn sends alert alleging crimes by kids as young as 9 [Daily News]

Taxi Bandits Strike Center City

A couple of Philadelphia robbers have turned this city into a Michael Mann movie:

Philadelphia police say at least two men are responsible for a wave of robberies and attempted robberies at center city convenience stores during which the perpetrator escaped in the back of a taxicab.

Detectives say in each case the cab driver may have unwittingly helped the bandit. Police speculate that the robbers may have asked cabbies to stop at a store for cigarettes, robbed the store, then hopped back into the cab to continue the trip.

Well, it’s almost like a Michael Mann movie. The cops say it’s two different people doing this scheme, so Center City Wawas are probably a fun place to be for the rest of the week.

Phila. Police Say Robbers Arrive and Leave in Taxicabs [KYW 1060]

When Philly Crime Gets Even Scarier, It’s Mott’s Applesauce To The Rescue!

When you read enough stories about people shot to death, unless you have a personal connection to one of the victims or suspects, it begins to just all blur together. (There have been 211 homicides this year — along with 286 drug overdoses, yikes — sadly.)

Not every crime, though, ends with a murder. (Although the rape/assault/robbery in Port Richmond Saturday didn’t end with one, it seems almost as bad.) Some have happy endings — well, as happy as any crime be.

Yes, that’s right, children. Sometimes heroic grocery store shoppers save the day. A man walked in and attempted to rob Gomez Grocery in East Germantown, locking the door and pointed his gun at the customers. (This, according to a 15-year-old quoted in the Daily News article, which helpfully notes she was buying a smoked turkey sandwich.) But 66-year-old (!) Thomas Santana grabbed the guy from behind in a bear hug, wrestling him to the floor with the help of store owner Eddie Gomez, causing the man to fire two wild shots, hitting himself in the head.

But the suspect still wouldn’t give up his fight, so the quick-thinking Santana turned to an item more dangerous than a gun: a jar of Mott’s applesauce.

Startled, the gunman fired two wild shots, shooting himself once in the head - the bullet entered and exited his head. Still, he wouldn’t give up his gun, Matthews said.

So, Santana grabbed a nearby jar of Mott’s applesauce off a shelf and slugged him four times in the head.

“Finally, the guy passes out,” said [Det. Curtis] Matthews. “There’s blood everywhere - on the floor, all over.” Meantime, the 15-year-old girl and her cousin had fled to the kitchen with another man and woman and closed the door. “I started crying and praying and stuff,” the girl said.

Remember: If applesauce were outlawed, only outlaws would have applesauce. It’s the most delicious weapon.

Drug overdoses are outpacing homicides [Daily News]
Robbery, assaults, rapes rock Port Richmond block [Daily News]
Customer helps foil store heist [Daily News]