The Phillies Need Your Pelvis!

The Dodgers — who are a game ahead of the Phils in the Wild Card chase, thanks to the local nine’s bullpen — are currently beating up on the Rockies, 8-3. (Wait! Now they’re ahead, 10-8! Gooooo Colorado!)

That means: A Phillies loss tonight means they’re most likely SOL for the Wild Card.

The Fightins need your support! Keep that Rally Pelvis shaking — for those of you who don’t want to see the gyrating hips of the Phanatic, there’s a new logo on this post — and root, root, root for the Phils in tonight’s game against the Nationals.

Power to the pelvis!

Update: For you Pelvismaniacs who can’t go without the original, gyrating logo, it’s after the jump (and, don’t worry, it’ll be back).

In progress: Rockies jump on Dodgers early [Beerleaguer]
Archives: Rally Pelvis

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Pelvis Power Fails To Lead Phils To Victory

Clearly, we all weren’t thrusting enough last night, as the Phils dropped another heartbreaker to the Nationals, 4-3, dropping them a game back in the Wild Card race with only 5 games left.

It’s okay, though: I’m still optimistic. (This, of course, is the most important thing.) You should be, too.

Hey, the local nine has blown enough easily winnable games this year, why shouldn’t one two of them be in the final week of the season?

They’re still going to do it. Power to the pelvis!

For Phillies, Plan C had better be good [Daily News]

Reminder: Rally Pelvis! Go Phils!

A little video to remind you of the power of the Rally Pelvis:

Right after this, Jimmy Rollins hit a homer. Let’s go, boys in red and white. Six games to go.

Earlier today: For Your Consideration: Rally Pelvis

For Your Consideration: The Rally Pelvis

Well, clearly not talking about it didn’t work. So, let’s put it forth: It’s the final week of the baseball season. The Philles are somehow in the thick of the Wild Card chase.

And even after last night’s crushing defeat to the Astros — Charlie! Charlie! Why did you call for a bunt with Bourn on first! I don’t expect you to know that a run scores from first with no outs more often than from second with one out, and so sacrifice bunts are a pretty stupid play, but IT’S ESPECIALLY A BAD PLAY WITH LIEBY AT THE PLATE AND ABE NUÑEZ COMING UP! And Lieberthal, why didn’t you PULL BACK THE BUNT WHEN BOURN WAS PRETTY MUCH ALREADY AT SECOND AND !@(*&@)*&$ (*&%R()*@(&$*!! (Sorry. I’m done.) — the Phils are still tied for first in the Wild Card.

The Phillies face off against the train wreck that is the Washington Nationals (thanks, Brad) tonight for a three game series and then head to Florida for three. The Dodgers? They have three in Colorado and three in San Fran.

So, the Phillies still have a good shot. Even if you’re not a fan, it’s time to root, root, root for the home team and hope that the fans of this cursed ballclub can have a chance at seeing some baseball in October for the first time since 1993.

At last night’s game, as the Phillies failed to come through with a big hit after the bullpen blew yet another save, I realized just why: We don’t have a stupid rally gimmick. The Angels had the Rally Monkey, the Red Sox had “Cowboy Up” or some other stupid curse bullshit, the White Sox had the umps making a bad call and giving them a win. What do the Phillies have? Nothing, that’s what. I didn’t even have a hat to turn inside out last night.

And so, I — ok, my friend Ed, at a Phillies game about three years ago, was the one who came up with it — present to you a gimmick so stupid, so ridiculous, so perfect that it can’t help but put the Phillies over the hump and into the playoffs.

Any time the Phillies need a big hit, just start thrusting that pelvis. It’ll produce homers in no time.

Bull from the pen [Daily News]
Nationals’ chartered train derails in Delaware; no one injured [CBS Sportsline]
Yesterday: Last Week Of The Season: Don’t Talk About Something That Rhymes With ‘Mild Bard’