Annoying Neighbors Arrested

Thank God for the Phillies! Their Game 2 win made sure that the mother-daughter prostitution team arrested yesterday stayed off the front page of the Daily News. “Just to be clear, the threesome specifically advertised ‘w4m’ or women for men,” the paper says. Yes, there are 7500 of those ads in Philadelphia alone. Also, shouldn’t it be ww4m? Just want everything to be clear, you know.

Editor’s Note: After typing the previous paragraph, I noticed the story is now on the front page of Philly.com. And there’s not even comments! Sigh.

But the real fun was on television, where the pair had to do a perp walk for the cameras. (This was in Wissinoming, by the way.) One of the women told the station, “It’s a messed up world out there and we have to do this just to get by.” Most importantly, though, was this:

“You always hear that prostitution is a victimless crime, well you see these neighbors, you see how upset they are,” said Lt. Charles Green. “A victimless crime, look at those three kids going down to D.H.S., you tell me they’re not victims?”

If you could get the cops to arrest your neighbors just for making you upset, everyone in Philadelphia would be in prison. And as to the second part, it is Philadelphia DHS, no? So, um, yeah, everyone’s a victim there.

Cops wrestle ‘mom-n-daughter tag team’ [Daily News]
Mom, Daughter Busted In Northeast Philly Sex Sting [CBS 3]

Apparent Hot Cop Arrests Half-Dozen

Because there isn’t anything else going on, or whatever, the Bristol Township police force has been cracking down on prostitution recently, including reverse prostitution stings. Oh, I’ll just let the Courier Times describe it:

Police said they had to wait until money and sex were mentioned before making an arrest. Customers waiting to talk to a “prostitute” aren’t breaking the law, they said. Stings involving “working girls” increase in the summer, police said, because street walkers work out in the open and are easier to spot. [...] It was the third time in recent weeks that area police said an undercover “prostitute” was used to capture “johns” — the slang for a hooker’s customers.

Looks like someone just discovered how to make quote marks! Six people were arrested, and it could have been more, but the fake prostitute was just too hot.

But Saturday’s Special Investigations Division undercover operation, also known as a “reversal” because a real prostitute isn’t in the picture — went smoothly.

And there “could’ve been a seventh” arrest, several cops said, except that the potential customer rear-ended another vehicle while staring in the rearview mirror of his SUV. Police said he probably was looking at the undercover female officer, who was wearing tight-fitting shorts while negotiating with a man in a car.

So, uh, the cops went out to harass weirdos looking for sex on the street and ended up causing a car crash. Nice work, officers!

Police crack down on prostitution [Bucks County Courier Times]

Headless Prostitutes

So, ah, this is apparently what a file photo of a generic prostitute looks like.

Easton Proposes New Prostitution Law [CBS 3]

Easton Could Seize Suspected Johns’ Cars

Big news from the Crayon Factory! The Easton City Council is considering passing a law allowing the city to seize the cars of suspected johns.

The Easton police chief believes seizing a few cars will deter people from cruising for prostitutes. Hey, ha ha, good joke, officer.

Easton: Seeking prostitutes could cost your car [Morning Call]
Photo by telethon, Creative Commons license

Atlantic City Will Not Store Your Heroin

Atlantic City law enforcement is still looking for the person who killed four prostitutes 18 months ago. They’re turning to the drug dealers and prostitutes themselves for clues (obviously), and are totally not going to arrest anyone.

Well, as long as you don’t do this:

Atlantic County Prosecutor Ted Housel says the deaths are sufficiently similar to make it appear that they are the work of a serial killer. Housel is asking other prostitutes and drug users to tell police what they know about the case, with the promise they won’t be arrested.

“Short of putting a bag of heroin on the table and asking us to hold it while you talk to us, I can promise that you won’t be pursued for anything like that,” he said, referring to prostitutes or drug dealers who come forward. “Nobody is going to be scrutinized because of lifestyle choices in an investigation like this.”

Good advice for all situations, really: If you go to talk to a law enforcement officer, keep your heroin at home. Or at least in your pockets.

Prostitutes’ help sought to solve 4 killings [AP/Courier-Post]

Our Own (Small Scale) Prostitute Scandal

We may not have any hilarious stories of hypocrisy and sex at the level of Eliot Spitzer, but don’t think consensual crimes haven’t corrupted those in the Keystone State.

Why, ex-Horsham police officer Thomas Crow has pled guilty to soliciting a hooker while in uniform and then trying to cover it up!

The charges stem from an incident last year when the 36-year-old Crow picked up a hooker while in uniform and then tried to cover it up by telling police he was investigating an escort for his brother-in-law.

Prosecutor Todd Stephens says he lied, destroyed some notes and tried to have other witnesses lie to police: “When you have a police officer falsely accusing people of crimes, I think that’s a serious charge and we have to aggressively prosecute that.”

That quote is so strange. Most people, I would hope, believe cops falsely accusing people of crimes is a pretty serious charge, not just this prosecutor. You know what? Don’t let me know if I’m wrong here.

Former Cop Faces Charges For Hooker Cover-Up [KYW 1060]

#1 Job: Pa. Informant Paid To Have Sex

Among the many fine services the government provides us, nothing can possibly beat its role in preventing consenting adults from exchanging money for goods and services. Frankly, I get upset when goods and services that offend my sensibility are sold, and the government thankfully stops it so I can spend all my time being berated in comments sections.

Of course, sometimes there are casualties in this war on consent, and so sometimes the cops have to pay for an informant to have sex with prostitutes four times. That’s what happened in Lehigh County, where a judge has dismissed the case against Cha Chon of the Shiatsu Spa due to a informant making $180 for the state to pay for him to have sex with people.

The informant went to the police after going to the spa and becoming “appalled” that he was offered sex. He then went to the cops and agreed to be paid money to go back there and collect evidence in the form of sex. Quite appalling!

He wore a wire and the police laughed and laughed at him on tape. District Attorney and Saints backup QB Jamie Martin is shocked at the judge’s decision: “The tactics that were used are the same tactics that are used in making a controlled buy of narcotics, the only difference being the commodity being purchased.”

The defendant’s lawyer managed to dig up similar cases in Florida and right here in Philadelphia. Is there a signup sheet somewhere to become one of these informants?

Sex-buying tactics not ‘outrageous’, D.A. says [Inquirer]
Judge drops sex case as ‘outrageous’ [Morning Call]

Fla. Killer Probably Hiding In Church

Former Philadelphia police officer Mike Chitwood (the son, not the Upper Darby police head) is now police commish of Daytona Beach, Fla., which means his force exclusively drunk college kids and drunk NASCAR fans. Oh, yeah, and he’s currently dealing with a serial killer on the loose.

Yes, someone killed three known prostitutes back in 2006, but then apparently fled the area and since the victims were prostitutes everybody in the media all moved on. (Kinda like Atlantic City!) Another recent homicide was similar to the three 2006 killings, and so the case has heated up again. The cops are looking for the serial killer by arresting a bunch of prostitutes, but Chitwood has asked for the public’s help with the killer also.

A serial killer believed to be preying on women in the Daytona Beach area is likely clean-cut, employed and involved in a relationship, possibly even married, according to information released by the Daytona Beach police chief. “This killer is one of us,” Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood said. “He is our next-door neighbor. He is somebody we go to church with. It is somebody who is a respectable, decent human being on the outside. But on the inside, they are out there preying on women. He is dehumanizing women.”

In fact, Chitwood asked women involved with someone with qualities likened to the serial killer to contact the police immediately. He said they may be in danger themselves.

Hey, so if you’re dating or married to a clean-cut adult male, be sure to turn him in! Oh, and be on the lookout for Paleface as well, while you’re at it.

[via The Agitator]

Alleged Prostitutes Arrested, Embarrassed

First police in Middletown, Bucks County, arrested two alleged prostitutes and their alleged madam who had been business-savvy enough to set up a limited-liability corporation.

Then Internet gossip about the LLC’s high prices was reported in the newspaper.

Two suspected prostitutes and their alleged madam — criticized in Internet reviews of their “services” — were arrested during a raid of their business, Natural Therapy LLC, Wednesday in Middletown. [...] The tipster told investigators that a number of Eastern European women who dressed provocatively had a clientele of mostly men who came and went throughout the day and night. Police found several reviews of the business and its employees on Internet forums, spahunters.com and bestgfe.com — gfe is an acronym referring to “girlfriend experience,” according to a list of sex terms on the site.

For a $50 tip, the women would perform a sex act on the clients; for $100 the women would do it naked, according to police.

That’s a rip-off, according to some posters on spahunters and bestgfe. Clients can receive a lot more for $160 at an Asian massage parlor, several posters said.

Well, that’s the realities of capitalism for you. If you don’t compete in pricing, you can’t survive.

Bensalem Police Clean Up, Uh, Shitty Motels

Police in Bensalem arrested a bunch of prostitutes of dubious quality recently, announcing the arrests yesterday in a strong show of force.

The arrests came from hookers who advertised on Craigslist, and therefore were tearing the Bensalem community apart. Cops called the hookers to a hotel, made sure they used “magic words” they refused to reveal (Abracadabra?)

Apparently, the Internet has allowed random sex-for-cash exchanges to expand into the suburbs, and consenting adults clearly don’t know how to spend their money. Plus, prostitutes apparently overran the Neshaminy Mall or something.

“The Special Investigations Unit is very big on quality of life issues. And that’s what this is. You want to take your kids to the mall and not see prostitutes or drug dealers.”

Experts said sex has been eradicated in Bensalem.