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July 01, 2008President Scares N.J. Kids With Giant Rodent
A Camden t-ball team went to the White House yesterday to play t-ball on the lawn. (The Courier-Post's page for the event is quite impressive.) We can't see the young gentleman's face in the above photo from the White House, but I know I would be scared by being that close to both the president and a giant Little League rodent. Posted by D-Mac at 02:53 PM | Comments (2) June 17, 2008Bulletin: Bush Could Become Catholic
The Bulletin has the scoop. My guess as to the motive: Plenary indulgences. Posted by D-Mac at 04:56 PM | Comments (3) May 15, 2008Sen. Specter Has Priorities In Order
The NFL says, "Oh, this scandal is all over, sorry everybody." But Arlen Specter isn't having any of that! Yes, the man who should be investigating any one of the number of United States atrocities in the name of the wars on Iraq or terror or drugs is content to investigate the New England Patriots. "They are enormous role models for everybody," Specter said. "If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test. There's no limit as to what you can do. I think they owe the public a lot more candor and a lot more credibility." Cue your own favorite stolen 2000 election joke up, people! Anyway, Congress will probably do a hearing or a Mitchell Report-type investigation while President Bush continues to videotape other team's playcalling signals unabated. Sen. Specter wants independent investigation into Spygate [AP/Philly.com] Posted by D-Mac at 10:44 AM | Comments (12) Bush: Ottley For MVP!No word if this was the mistake of Politico's interview with President Bush or the prez himself, but, yes, our dear leader loves him some Chase. Q Mr. President, I know you're going to hate this, but I'm hoping that we may twist your arm and talk about baseball for just a moment. (Laughter.) Mr. President, you're a Major League Baseball team owner again. Everyone is a free agent. You have a Yankees-like wallet. Who is your first position player? Who's your pitcher? Interview with President Bush [Politico] Posted by D-Mac at 09:45 AM | Comments (1) January 18, 2008Tax Rebates To Make Life Worthwhile
The economy hasn't been all that great recently with falling stock prices, out-of-control credit and other forms of legal gambling. In remarks today, Bush said he wants a "temporary broad-based tax relief package" that will allow all of us to buy PS3s or MacBook Airs or whatever. Hopefully the tax rebates will come in the form of new $300 bills with President Nixon on them, like in that Futurama episode. Hey, the president is doing something I like for the first time since... uh... since the last tax rebate, I guess. Bush calls for broad-based tax relief to spur economy [CNN] Posted by D-Mac at 12:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0) December 13, 2007Cute Doggies Attempt To Make Bush Popular AgainBe sure to check out the new holiday video greeting card from the most competent member of the Bush family, Barney the Dog. Barney has to listen to some awful Jenna Bush acting. The vid is seven minutes long but has only about 1 minute of content; so feel free to skip around. Oh, also, for some reason Tony Freaking Blair took time out from war -- he's fighting on the front lines, no? -- to appear in the video. And some country singer, I think. Posted by D-Mac at 10:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) October 30, 2007A Vote For Nutter Is A Vote Against, Uh, Bush?Above, the new ad for Michael Nutter, who despite a nearly 75 percent lead in the polls feels he should run some ads. And how to get lethargic Philadelphians out to the polls on Tuesday? Tell 'em if they stay home, the terrorists (or at least Bush and Cheney) win! Excellent graphics on the night to day transition. I wonder what Nutter's stance is on Daylight Saving Time. Posted by D-Mac at 11:49 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0) August 24, 2007Breaking: President Bush Gets Eye Implants
Or maybe he wanted to look more like Daddy Warbucks -- speaking of references the kiddies will get -- I dunno. Anyway, normally here I'd make some sort of lame "Friday afternoon in August" joke, but this photo makes me giggle so much I would probably run it anytime. Posted by D-Mac at 01:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) August 15, 2007Guy With As Much Clout In Washington As You Tells Prez To Fire Attorney General
Anyway, pretty much everyone wants Gonzales to resign or be fired by Bush, but Bush won't do it. Well, now a new voice has joined the chorus calling for the AG's departure: Montgomery County DA Bruce Castor. Castor, a Republican, wrote to Bush, telling him Gonzales's presence hurts local Republicans running for office (like, say, Montgomery County DA Bruce Castor) as well as local law enforcement, because how can one prosecute breaking and entering when the attorney general keeps saying "I don't recall!" Anyway, Castor actually thinks Bush is going to read his letter, which is cute: Castor -- running for Montgomery County commissioner -- says he doesn't expect a reply but hopes that at some point it will reach the president's ear so that he'll know that whatever decision is made will have a greater reach than just inside the beltway in Washington. Yeah, I'm sure that letter's already in Karl Rove's paper shredder. DA Castor Tells Pres. Bush It's Time to Fire Atty. Gen. Gonzales [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 12:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) July 26, 2007President In Town To Get Everyone Fired
He'll be talking with the American Legislative Exchange Council, which is apparently a fiscal conservative with Democrats as a third of its members. The prez will be at the Marriott at 12th and Market, and fortunately the protesters apparently won't be confined to "free speech zones" miles away or something: At a news conference yesterday, leaders of several groups that oppose the war in Iraq said they planned to set up shop directly across the street from the Marriott and haven't heard whether the Secret Service will direct them to a more distant locale. Uh-huh. Just wait 'til the president uses that new executive order to seize all the assets of the Brandywine Peace Community for aiding the terrorists. Ain't democracy grand? Update, 9:18 a.m.: Actually, I think I went on a Match date with this girl whose parents ran some suburban peace group, and then she never called me back. Could you seize their assets, Mr. President? This is why I would make a terrible leader. (Well, one of the reasons.) I'd constantly be signing executive orders to punish ex-girlfriends, get myself free puppies, give the Philadelphia sports teams all the best players, etc. Congress would be passing joint resolutions daily telling me to put some pants on. Actually, I'd be the most interesting president in a while -- or I'd at least be better than Bush. Pres. Bush Addresses Conservative Legislative Group in Philadelphia [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 09:09 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0) July 06, 2007President Bush Impeached!
John Nichols, a writer for The Nation, said that President Bush has pretty much violated every amendment of the Constitution except for the 3rd and the 18th. Using a heretofore unknown provision of the very same Constitution, town hall meetings at Unitarian churches are valid impeachment proceedings and now a simple vote next week is all it will take to get Bush out of office. The group at the church also collected phone books for Dennis Kucinich to stand on so he can reach the podium when impeachment proceedings begin. Once Bush is gone, new President Dick Cheney is expected to immediately have 75 percent of America detained as enemy combatants. Town Hall Meeting to Impeach Bush Held in Center City [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 09:23 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0) May 10, 2007Chris Freind: President Bush The Real Hero Here
Perhaps most deserving of credit - President Bush. While he has done many things wrong, and is justifiably criticized for his mistakes, too often he is not credited when things go right under his leadership. This is such a case. I don't doubt President Bush deserves a little credit here; after all, he is the president and the FBI did capture these alleged terrorists. But, ah, maybe you want to reserve the majority of the credit for, oh, I don't know, the people who actually did something? 'Fort Dix Six'? Look At Illegal Immigration [The Bulletin] Posted by D-Mac at 03:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) May 01, 2007And Counting, Really...
Anyway, Good Day Philadelphia's Clayton Morris chimed in this morning on the subject, and as you might have guessed, it's a beauty: It's hard to believe that 4 years ago today President Bush landed on that aircraft carrier announcing "Mission Accomplished." The war is, of course, a long forgotten memory; but whatever happened to that fantastic banner? Does someone have it? Is it hidden in someone's closet? Who knows? What do you think should happen to that banner? Normally I'd just think he's kidding about the "long forgotten memory" part, but, remember, Fox 29 meteorologist David Aldrich doesn't believe in global warming. I'm actually down with item #3, though. I want my $421 billion back! Happy Mission Accomplished Day [MyFox Philly] Posted by D-Mac at 12:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) January 22, 200781-Year-Old Liberals Now Terror Threat
Unlike most Americans, Dan Tilli got a visit from the Secret Service after writing a letter bashing President Bush. The letter was published in Monday's Express-Times and concluded with the line: "I still believe they hanged the wrong man." I'd assume he was saying they (the Iraqis?) should have hung Osama Bin Laden instead, but the Secret Service agents decided to drive 60 miles from Philly to Easton to check out if he was thinking about hurting President Bush. The Secret Service showed up Thursday and chatted with Tilli for an hour before deciding he was not a threat. They asked him a few questions -- including if he was thinking about committing suicide, to which he responded "Hell no!" -- and checked his closets for weapons, which he agreed to. (In addition to posing no threat to President Bush, Tilli also doesn't have boxes of Oxycontin in his closet.) Oddly enough, the Secret Service enjoyed their visit, too! I swear to God this is in the article: Secret Service agent Kenneth Beauchamp said he enjoyed his visit with Tilli. Fortunately for Tilli, his case file is already closed. (81-year-olds who don't even know how to get to Washington, D.C., are rarely on the Secret Service's radar for long.) Tilli is going to keep writing, though: "He [the agent] said they are good letters." Let's hope he doesn't comment on Dick Cheney's hunting accident, lest he get a visit about wanting to shoot the veep. (How would he acquire the means to hang President Bush, anyway? Shoot I can understand, but not hang.) Writer finds an agent -- from the Secret Service [Express-Times] Posted by D-Mac at 01:16 PM | Comments (740) | TrackBack (0) December 08, 2006Bush's Incompetence Has Ruined The Waste Industry
You won't be doing it, because -- according to the official site for the rally -- there is nothing scheduled for Philadelphia. (I suppose you could be traveling somewhere to go rally for George Bush's impeachment; if you're doing that, please stop reading my blog immediately.) Never fear, though! The fine folks at Progressive Democrats of America are concerned at a lack of media coverage for Bush's impeachment, and they have a little form letter any concerned citizens can fill out to contact the media about how Bush should be impeached. You simply enter your zip code, and it gives you a list of organizations to contact. Put in Philadelphia's zip code, and the first publication one can contact is: American Waste Digest. Yes, the self-proclaimed "America's magazine for the waste industry," is one of the news outlets the Progressive Democrats of America have decided would be interested in impeaching President Bush. Not one to pass up an opportunity, I fired off their form letter. However, I made a few changes, hoping to make it into the organization's next issue. After the jump, the letter: Continue reading "Bush's Incompetence Has Ruined The Waste Industry" Posted by D-Mac at 04:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) November 08, 2006Leftovers: George And The Giant Impeach
• Both of Council Rock's two high schools are closed today due to a threat. Dammit, this shit is so 1999. (As is that phase.) Seriously, kids, you need to stop. [Bucks County Courier Times] • State Rep. Matt Wright, who got his opponent's ads off the air by threatening to sue, lost to Chris King yesterday in his re-election bid for State House. Then again, he was the guy who wrote an column defending the pay raise, so perhaps it's not all that surprising. [Doylestown Intelligencer] • Best two headlines in a row award goes to Badminton Stamps, for "Tina Fey Slings That Crack Cocaine" followed by "Judd Hirsch Slings That Crack Cocaine." Kudos, guys. [Badminton Stamps] Posted by D-Mac at 04:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) November 06, 2006Leftovers: 150 Gone From 'Inquirer'?
• Gretchen Wilson is coming to town this week. And what do country stars do when they come to a town like Philadelphia? That's right: They perform -- on ice -- with six-time U.S. skating champ Todd Eldredge. Way to subvert those stereotypes about the North and South, fellas. [KYW 1060] • An ad attacking Republican State Rep. Gene DiGirolamo attacks him for voting with President Bush 95 percent of the time, including a vote in 1998. Campaign literature scheduled to be handed out at the polls tomorrow will tout how DiGirolamo's in agreement with Herbert Hoover 95 percent of the time. [Bucks County Courier Times] • Oh, yes, before I forget (again): Kate Kilpatrick, erstwhile (for now) A&E editor Kate Kilpatrick is blogging from Mexico. Yes, yet another PW blog for you to read instead of mine. [Queso Fresco] Posted by D-Mac at 04:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) October 24, 2006If Ashcroft Was Still Attorney General, Maybe
Since we last saw our heroes and heroines making the charge against porn, they've opened an official website, which includes the graphic at right. (Apparently, their membership includes chefs, architects (or something) and jobs that require suits! The Camden County freeholders have also spoken up against the porn shop. Not to pick on the smut-hatin' New Jerseyans, but the group's newest tactic, posted to the group's messageboard, might not help all that much, unfortunately for them: In the meantime, I have chosen my own route with the inspiration of our community- with the many emails and fantastic ideas from our members, I sat down this morning and wrote a letter to the White house- as Sean mentioned this should be a state wide law not just a community law. We need to go above all heads and target this for all states and communities who are exposed to this type of set up in their own neighborhoods. We are FED UP- and if enough letters get to the white house, we will be guarantee'd that at least one of them will be read and considered. Yeah, I'm sure the president will get right on it. He routinely weighs in on local NIMBY affairs. Camco freeholders seek to stop sex shop's opening [Camden Courier-Post] Posted by D-Mac at 03:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) That Guy... Oh... I Can't Remember His Name... Uhm... Oh! Jesus! Yeah, That's It.
Will Bunch is oh so excited that he can use this as an excuse to celebrate Bush's "impending" impeachment. (Surprise, surprise.) Whatevs. The best part of this interview is not "the Google" -- which is what our Commander-in-Chief called everyone's favorite search engine -- but this part (emphasis mine): One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see that. I forgot the name of the program, but you get the satellite and you can — like, I kind of like to look at the ranch on Google, reminds me of where I want to be sometimes. That name is, of course, Google Maps. (Nevermind that this man controls all the spy satellites in the free world and he's just using Google Maps to look at his ranch.) But, hey, Dubya, it is pretty tough to remember that the map program on Google is named "Google Maps." Good effort. Now nobody show him Google Earth. Google Maps | Google Earth Posted by D-Mac at 10:15 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) September 25, 2006That President Bush, He's Into Some Kinky Shit
Oh, shut up. You thought the same thing. Well, if you're a 12-year-old boy like I am. Mendham Township boy performs for President Bush [Recorder Community Newspapers] Posted by D-Mac at 11:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) August 30, 2006George Bush Doesn't Care About... Someone
You see, Evander Holyfield was on it once. And Jerry Rice was runner-up last year. And, this fall, Emmitt Smith will be on the show, making it three Hall of Fame athletes making some extra cash after their careers are over. (Well, Holyfield is now boxing again. But still.) And so, John-Hall thinks it's good for men, specifically black men, who are won over by the "cool-pose culture." Maybe Emmitt Smith can show people it's okay to dress up and dance. Fair enough. But, of course, there's also this: The message is reinforced widely - from the words and imagery of hip-hop, to the reproachful taunting in sports, even from the White House, [Mark Anthony] Neal tells me. Yep! All those kids in the cities, taking after the president, clearing brush on their ranches, still not being able to find WMDs. That kind of thing. Manly men can wear cleats and dance shoes [Inquirer] Posted by D-Mac at 01:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) August 29, 2006And It Only Took Him A Year To Do So
Bush remembers Katrina victims [AP/CNN.com] Posted by D-Mac at 12:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) August 17, 2006Here's A Photo Of President Bush On A Harley
Yep. Posted by D-Mac at 10:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) August 14, 2006Like Two Peas In A Pod
For all of you wondering what I did on my vacation last week, it turns out I was down at the ranch with President Bush! We cleared brush for a while, smoke a few cigars and then cleared some more brush. Today, I returned to my usual job of making fun of headlines ruining any possible future job opportunities. Also today, President Bush returned to his job of ruining the world. Back from Vacation, Bush Tackles Foreign Agenda [AP/KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 04:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) July 31, 2006Leftovers: Philly Learns Good
• Some advice to coaches who have recently been fired because they were too tough: If there's an article about the dustup in the Inquirer, do not -- I repeat, do NOT -- tell the reporter, "My goal has always been to put on a successful program first, and the kids are second, a close second," regardless of your intentions when you said it, because it makes you look like a jackass. However, you're way ahead in one area: Posting your side of the story on the Internet. If only it was on a blog... [Inquirer] • The city's leaders met today to discuss ways to end violence. Of course, it was closed-door, which means... well, hey, maybe they are actually committed to ending gun violence! [Inquirer] • Dick Polman wrote a very nice piece late last week on his blog about the failure of the Bush Administration. Blah blah blah, we already know this, sure, but it's required reading if you're one of those people who haven't regretted your 2000/2004 Bush votes just yet. [Dick Polman's American Debate] • Money line from Moe Tkacik's NYT piece about interns yesterday, from an American Apparel manager: "[P]eople in their 20’s are living at home or getting their bills paid by their parents and going out and getting wasted like it’s 1995, so hanging out with 15-year-olds is not outside the realm of normal.” You don't know how hard it was to pick just one quote from this thing. [New York Times] • The good? Chase Utley, 32-game hitting streak. (Screw you, Ed Delahanty!) The bad? Marlins 15, Phillies 2. [AP/Yahoo!] • Okay, kids, enjoy the rest of your afternoon. More (and better, I swear) shore stuff tomorrow. Stay cool. Maybe ride the bus around with old people? Posted by D-Mac at 04:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) |
• A new way to get kids in underachieving Philadelphia high schools to pass?