May 15, 2008

Bush: Ottley For MVP!

No word if this was the mistake of Politico's interview with President Bush or the prez himself, but, yes, our dear leader loves him some Chase.

Q Mr. President, I know you're going to hate this, but I'm hoping that we may twist your arm and talk about baseball for just a moment. (Laughter.) Mr. President, you're a Major League Baseball team owner again. Everyone is a free agent. You have a Yankees-like wallet. Who is your first position player? Who's your pitcher?

THE PRESIDENT: That's a great question. I like Ottley from the Philadelphia Phillies. He's a middle infielder, which is always -- you know, they say you have strength up the middle -- there's nothing better than having a good person up the middle that can hit. And Roy Halladay from the Toronto Blue Jays is a great pitcher. He's a steady guy, he burns up innings. And I'm sure I'm leaving some other good ones out, but those --

Interview with President Bush [Politico]
George W. Bush Loves Him Some Chase Utley [The 700 Level]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:45 AM | Comments (1)

May 14, 2008

OMG! College Kids Drinking Outside Ballpark!

The Pennsylvania state police didn't have anything to do yesterday, so they invited NBC 10 along with them and busted around 100 underage drinkers outside Citizens Bank Park yesterday. The only good thing is that a bunch of Natty Light was poured out onto the ground.

Ninety-one people over the age of 18 but under 21 were written up, while 9 people under 18 were also cited. One of the cited teenagers -- he's 19 -- told NBC 10 he would be able to fight in a pointless war but can't get plastered outside the ballpark so he can fight other drunks inside. Or something like that.

Anyway, we're all safer now, and the state has a bunch more money to bust more 20-year-olds drinking beer. Erhm.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:32 AM | Comments (2)

May 12, 2008

Pat Burrell's Man-Purse

From a Phillies.com mailbag column:

I was watching an interview with Chase Utley, and at the end he said Pat Burrell owns a man purse. From your knowledge of the team, have you seen Burrell strutting around with a nice gator skin man purse? -- Kyle M., Pitman, N.J.

In seven years of being around Burrell, I have yet to see Burrell with a man purse of any kind, and I don't plan on asking him or Utley about it. That said, Utley ought to know, don't you think?

Citizens of Philadelphia who frequent the Irish Pub, we eagerly await your report.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:10 PM | Comments (1)

IronPigs Now Unstoppable Ballclub

Break up the IronPigs! The Phillies' AAA affiliate wore pink yesterday and not only eradicated breast cancer but also won their third straight game with a two-out rally in the ninth inning yesterday.

They're now 8-30 and have won their first series in franchise history; they go for a four-game sweep tonight against the Columbus Clippers. The Phillies have completely re-tooled the Lehigh Valley roster, and newcomer Jon Knott had the winning hit in back-to-back games. (Pitcher J.A. Happ continues to be successful.)

Since I do not know what the phrase "small sample size" means, I predict they have turned it around for good. To the... championship of the International League!

Posted by D-Mac at 03:28 PM | Comments (1)

May 10, 2008

Phillies Somehow Not On TV Today

Yes, we can put a man on the moon -- or we could, at one time -- and we can order cable with 1000 channels but we can't get the Phillies on TV today. Jason Weitzel notes it's the first non-televised game since June 10, 2006; the game isn't on TV today because it's during the window on Saturdays when Fox has exclusive broadcast rights. Fox isn't televising the exciting Phillies-Giants matchup, naturally, so we're all out of luck here in Philly.

So you'll have to kick it old school: Baseball on the radio! 1210 AM at 4 p.m. The Phils are a game back in the division still, but Jimmy Rollins returned last night. True to form, the reigning MVP hit a two-run homer and an RBI double as the Phils rallied for a 7-4 win.

Update: Ah, you didn't want to see this one anyway.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)

May 09, 2008

Phillie Phanatic Made More Horrifying

It almost burns the eyes. And it's only $24.99!

Forever Collectibles Philadelphia Phillies 18 Inch Plush Mascot Clinger [MLB Shop]
Thanks, Rob

Posted by D-Mac at 02:02 PM | Comments (2)

May 08, 2008

Reading Phillies' Ryan Howard Snow Globe

Now that the bobblehead doesn't guarantee huge attendance like it once did, teams have to branch out with their giveaways. Philly Edge points us to the Reading Phillies giveaway tonight, which it calls "Best. Giveaway. Ever.": A Ryan Howard snow globe. Is he wearing a Santa hat?

I'm not sure why Howard is batting with a french fry there.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:04 PM | Comments (1)

Two Rich People Collide In Phils' Win

The Phillies rallied last night in Arizona to remain just percentage points behind Florida in the NL East, and they couldn't have done it without Shane Victorino.

Vic raced for first after a dropped third strike and crashed headfirst into Conor Jackson, leaving both of them down for a couple minutes. More importantly, it got Victorino to first; he'd score on an Eric Bruntlett double. Utley eventually singled home Bruntlett in the top of the eighth to give the Phillies a 5-4 lead. Video of Vic's crash after the jump.

Continue reading "Two Rich People Collide In Phils' Win"

Posted by D-Mac at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)

May 07, 2008

Pigs Win! Pigs Win!

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs improved to a robust 5-28 yesterday with a 4-1 win over the Toledo Mud Hens. In Toledo! Brian Mazone improved to 4-3. Yes, one pitcher has 80 percent of the IronPigs' wins. [Allentown Morning Call]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:43 PM | Comments (4)

May 06, 2008

1955 Philly Not All That Different

Philebrity posted The Miracle on the Delaware (1955) this afternoon; what makes this short doc/ad/PSA/whatever from WPTZ so incredible is how it spends the entire intro about how incredible the places around Philadelphia are: "Trenton is proud of its past, but even prouder of its future. Wilmington, Delaware. A half-hour ride from Philadelphia, but closer than that in kinship and spirit.... And it's the dream of every little boy to shop at Allentown's Hess Brothers, where a single toy can cost five thousand dollars."

What this sort of reminds me of is how the TV news will focus on the weather of an area when they may not even have more than one reporter there. It's a way to say, "Hey, we cover you, suburbs and exurbs!" without actually having to do any reporting. I mean, the rest of this movie is about the Mummers, football, baseball... other than steel, what much is different? Oh, yeah, the part about church. (Also noted: What's with all the beer ads at the end?)

Okay, I'm off to Hess Brothers.

Noontime Nuggetz: The Miracle On The Delaware [Philebrity]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:34 PM | Comments (1)

Why Is Indiana Jones In Phils' Schedule?

Your move, Philly.com. Phillies.com has embedded Indiana Jones into it's schedule page. What's best is it's there with no explanation at all. Maybe the Phillies will wear Indiana Jones hats that day!

I'm sure I'll see the new Indiana Jones movie. I'm sure everyone will know about it. It'll definitely be advertised heavily. I already saw an ad for it. I fully expect ads for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to be broadcast directly into my brain by George Lucas. I'm sure I will see it sometime on opening weekend. Do really need to sponsor the Phillies schedule?

Something like Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay would be a much better choice to advertise the schedule. It needs to be something you forget you want to see.

I could be wrong, though. Maybe Harrison Ford is entering the starting rotation on May 22. Shape up, Kyle Kendrick!

Phillies Schedule
Yesterday: Fake Mexican Beer Takes Over Philly.com

Posted by D-Mac at 11:40 AM | Comments (5)

May 05, 2008

The Good And The Bad Of The Minors

Hey, you ever hear of R.J. Swindle? Nope, me neither, 'til Baseball Prospectus wrote about him today. He's a pitcher with the Reading Phillies. The 24-year-old has bounced from the Red Sox to the Yankees to the Phillies; last year in 44 innings of single-A ball, he had an ERA of 2.25. This year, with Reading, Swindle is 1-0 with a 0.54 ERA in 16 1/3 innings of work.

His fastball tops out in the low 80s -- for those of you who are confused, that is sloooooow, even slower than Jamie Moyer -- and his curveball drops all the way to 52 miles per hour. Swindle's career minor league stats are 157 2/3 innings pitched with a 1.48 ERA, 175 strikeouts, 18 walks and 3 homers. (Read that again. A 175 to 18 strikeout to walk ratio!) Those are lights-out numbers, simply sick stuff, and if the Phillies release this dude and he becomes a major leaguer there should be rioting.

(The Good Phight has more thoughts on Swindle -- including the idea that, well, he'll probably never see the majors in a Phillies uniform. I don't care if the guy throws a 60 mph fastball, if he has 9.72 strikeouts per walk... wow.)

Meanwhile, the Phillies are releasing guys like crazy down at AAA Lehigh Valley, and why not? The IronPigs are a staggering 4-27 so far this season. Hey, why not call up Swindle (and my boy Josh Out Man) and see if they can handle the AAA hitters? What's the worst that could happen, the team could miss the playoffs? I think they're already mathematically eliminated.

Seriously? It's pretty hard to go 4-27 in baseball. An opposing team's pitcher has an off day, the opposing team commits 5 errors, the other team forgets to show up or a plane crashes onto the field and you get a forfeit win or something. I salute you, Lehigh Valley IronPigs, for starting the franchise with a nice dose of Phillies futility.

The Great Rock & Roll Swindle [Baseball Prospectus via Walkoff Walk]
LV sterilizes pigsty [Beerleaguer]
One to root for: R.J. Swingle [The Good Phight]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:35 PM | Comments (0)

Suit: Dykstra Spending All Our Cash

Last week, news broke that former Phillies centerfielder Lenny Dykstra (at right, looking creepy as all heck, with Jim Cramer) was being sued by his publishing partner after just one issue of his magazine The Players Club, aimed at rich athletes.

Dykstra is also suing publishing partner Doubledown Media; he actually filed his lawsuit first. But let's get to the quote from the lawsuit against him:

"Over a relatively short period of time, Dykstra proved himself to be a mercurial, difficult client whose many idiosyncrasies and demanding personality imposed substantial costs on the planned publications and created excessive burdens for Doubledown," reads the suit. "At the same time, Dykstra began shirking his financial obligations to Doubledown beginning in late 2007 and continuing into 2008, repeatedly driving up expenses and increasing the overall costs of the publications at a time when he, on information and belief, lacked the cash to pay for such expenses."

What is it with athletes and carwashes, anyway? No word if The Players Club will ever be publishing a second issue, but let's just assume it's gone to that great big magazine rack in the sky.

Lenny Dykstra Sued By Publishing Partner [Mixed Media]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:28 AM | Comments (1)

May 03, 2008

Burrell Finally Proves Model Correct!

Hey, remember this? The above CG image was the model of Citizens Bank Park, created before the stadium even had a corporate sponsor -- hence the blue logo for the stadium's name. If you look on the big screen you'll see the phrase, "HOME RUN, Pat Burrell! PHILS WIN!"

Well, Pat Burrell never had a walkoff home run in Citizens Bank Park; he hadn't had a walkoff homer since 2002. Until last night, that is. The Fightins trailed by a run on an Aaron Rowand homer in the top of the 10th, but Burrell won it with a 3-2 line drive homer into the left field seats.

Redlasso video of the homer after the jump courtesy of The 700 Level.

Continue reading "Burrell Finally Proves Model Correct!"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:44 PM | Comments (3)

April 28, 2008

More On Jayson Werth's Mom

The guys at Baseball Tonight also noticed Jayson Werth's hot mom -- and unlike the Phillies announcers, were unable to avoid commenting on her attractiveness.

Momma Werth Just Don't Know [Deadspin]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:05 AM | Comments (1)

April 25, 2008

Jayson Werth's Hot Mom

The Internet is abuzz over the attractiveness of Jayson Werth's mom, who cheered on her son yesterday (along with, for some reason, Digger Phelps) during the Phillies' game in Milwaukee. (The screencap doesn't really do her justice; she's no TV news anchor, but she's definitely a nice-looking woman.)

Werth's mom is Kim Schoenfield Werth; she's a former track star (11 flat in the 100 yard dash in high school!) and therefore naturally still looks pretty good at 50-plus. And, so, yes, Jayson Werth's family is full of good-looking athletes, probably all destined for millions of dollars playing sports.

Redlasso video of Werth's homer and his mom celebrating it after the jump.

Continue reading "Jayson Werth's Hot Mom"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:53 PM | Comments (6)

April 24, 2008

Billy Wagner Bashes 1960s Activists

Oh my god, you guys have to hear this joke ex-Phillies closer and apparent bagel tosser Billy Wagner told about Philadelphia fans. It was so awesome and fresh and new Sports Illustrated's John Donovan made it his quote of the week!

"This is about the only place I've seen that. Shoot, they booed Santa Claus. They've taken this to a whole new level..." -- Mets closer Billy Wagner, on the fans of Philadelphia, some of whom cheered when Mets shortstop Jose Reyes was injured in an on-field collision Friday

Bahahaha! They booed Santa Claus! Yes, back in 1968 that was quite the story, Billy. Being negative three years old, you must have remembered it well.

The Windup [SI]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:45 AM | Comments (2)

April 23, 2008

Howard Nearly Runs Down Utley In Win

The best part of last night's Phillies game was not Pat Burrell's game-winning double, though that was pretty awesome, too. And it wasn't the female streaker, since the TV didn't show that -- and she kept her bra on, anyway. (Okay, the female streaker is pretty cool, also.)

No, it was Ryan Howard running just a half-step behind Chase Utley as they both rounded third, looking to grab the go-ahead and insurance runs from the Colorado Rockies. Because Burrell's hit could have been caught, Utley held up at second and Howard went all the way near the bag; once it dropped, both sprinted for home plate like it was that one scene from Rookie of the Year.

The Phillies are finally above .500 (they're 11-10) and swept the Rockies in a two-game series. Video of the game-winning hit and hilarious basepath action after the jump.

Continue reading "Howard Nearly Runs Down Utley In Win"

Posted by D-Mac at 10:15 AM | Comments (2)

April 22, 2008

OMG Who Won?

It's been roughly an hour since the polls closed, and... we dunno. Hillary Clinton is ahead on early returns, with about 3 percent of the vote, and notorious funnyman Bill Bennett is now saying on CNN that Barack Obama can't win, so that means Hillary Clinton has won the nomination.

Or maybe not! It was 55-45, Clinton, a minute ago and now it's 53-47. Meanwhile, the Flyers were up 2-1 on a cheap goal but then fell asleep and let the Capitals tie the game. The Phillies, who aren't on TV apparently (update: Oh, they're on 57. Stupid Comcast.), are scoreless. Since the Phillies and Flyers will each be winners or losers tonight -- unlike the pointlessness of the Pennsylvania primary, it seems -- I think I'll be paying attention to those the rest of the night.

Update: Oh, Fox News says Hillary Clinton wins! That means CNN will follow in a minute or two.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:01 PM | Comments (1)

Chase Utley Already Wins NL MVP

You like Chase Utley? Attractive guy, lover of puppies, rich professional athlete -- of course you do. Well, after homering for the fifth straight game last night -- to help the Phillies beat the Rockies, 9-5, and improve to 10-10 on the year -- Utley is now the league leader in homers and OPS and is on pace for 73 homers.

Mike Carminati writes the truth, saying his current pace means "he is clearly a lock to tie Barry Bonds' record, at least by the end of the season." Utley's best homer so far this year was his second Sunday night; it's after the jump.

Continue reading "Chase Utley Already Wins NL MVP"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:11 AM | Comments (2)

April 20, 2008

1960s Radicals Continue To Be Attacked

Look, a man goes to a Phillies-Mets game at Citizens Bank Park with his Met fan wife and says Philly fans are awful. His reasoning? "You must remember that this is the same city that is famous for booing Santa Claus during a pro football game a number of years ago."

Uh, no, you probably don't remember it, because it happened before Woodstock. Complaining about Philadelphia sports fans and referencing the Santa Claus incident is like going to Chicago and saying it's a bad place because of the police response to protesters at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. It's kind of exactly the same, since both happened the same year.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:51 PM | Comments (4)

Phillies Roundup: Feliz Nada

How 'bout them Fightin' Phils? It's still early in the season, but the Phillies have now dropped four straight to the Mets and sit at 8-10 -- only one game better than this time last year.

There are too many problems to count: Jimmy Rollins' injury, Ryan Howard's slump, the team's batting average with runners in scoring position. But let's pick on Pedro Feliz, who has an OPS (on base percentage plus slugging) of .616, which Jason Weitzel points out is well below the league average for third basemen of .774.

But, hey, despite his awful power numbers, he's walking! Last year, Feliz walked only 29 times; he walked twice yesterday to give him 6 for the year in just 18 games. No doubt Feliz is pushed on by Happy Pete's Traveling Adventures, which has chronicled every walk (except yesterday's two) of Feliz' season so far. The blog even has a YouTube channel!

The Phils play tonight at 8 p.m. on ESPN against the Mets; a win would be nice (duh). More Phillies notes after the jump.

Continue reading "Phillies Roundup: Feliz Nada"

Posted by D-Mac at 03:57 PM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2008

Apparently, I'm A Sadist: Phillies Liveblog

Hey, after last night's liveblog was such a smashing success, let's have some more fun with a good old-fashioned baseball liveblog. (The baseball liveblog was invented by Abner Doubleday.)

The Phillies, now 7-8 and still missing Jimmy Rollins 'til at least Saturday, play the final game of their series against the Houston Astros. After a ridiculous comeback on Tuesday, the Phillies lost 2-1 yesterday with ex-Phillie Michael Bourn scoring both Astros runs.

After the jump, the liveblog begins.

Continue reading "Apparently, I'm A Sadist: Phillies Liveblog"

Posted by D-Mac at 12:41 PM | Comments (4)

April 15, 2008

Luck Is On Our Side For Once

Wow, really? The Phillies score four runs in the ninth and rally to beat the Astros 4-3 after getting only four hits before the ninth. And people on messageboards are going wild: "WE'RE ALL GONNA GET LAID." See?

Looks like Geoff Jenkins might actually have been out at home plate. So things really do even out. (Though I'm still mad about this, I suppose.) And the Flyers won, too!

Video after the jump.

Continue reading "Luck Is On Our Side For Once"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:45 PM | Comments (3)

'Never Trust A Pitcher'

"They cheat. They spit on the ball. They cut the ball. They're not a group with very good character. Never trust a pitcher. I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a pitcher."

That's the late Richie Ashburn, Phillies great, on pitchers. With that, I'm off to the Phils for the second time this year. I get to see the great Adam Eaton take the mound against the Houston Astros.

JGT has more about Richie Ashburn and the Ashburn documentary that played at the film fest last night. PW's Fest Phanatic has more about the whole film fest, and I'll have something about the documentary I got a line or two in later this week.

Posted by D-Mac at 05:33 PM | Comments (0)