July 31, 2008

Penn Kid: Celebrate The Philadelphia Soul!

Although the Philadelphia Soul won the Arena Football League title, Philadelphians haven't been rioting in the streets over it. And most people haven't even been using the tired line of, "Oh, look, a team finally won a title!" Obviously, nobody cares about the Soul, because they do not play one of the four major team sports. Sorry, guys. We're happy for you, but mostly people only care because Bon Jovi is the owner.

But wait! Penn's Neil Fanaroff says we should celebrate the Soul like they're World Champions!

That's nothing really all that notable, until he gets into a lecture about not supporting our local sports "dynasty."

The Philadelphia Barrage - of Major League Lacrosse - moved from Bridgeport, Conn. in 2004 and proceeded to win three of the next four championships, including back-to-back titles the past two seasons.

But for some reason, the city never embraced this squad - a squad that has remained at the pinnacle of success in the highest-level league of what is arguably the nation's fastest-growing sport and in one of the sport's hot spots. This year, after playing at Villanova Stadium the past four years, the team's poor financial status forced it to hit the road for the entire season.

Despite five years of success - yes, the Barrage are again in the title hunt despite playing "home" games in places ranging from Cary, N.C., to St. Louis to Hillsboro, Ore. - Philadelphians never opted to support the team enough to keep it.

An MLL Championship never warranted a celebration, or a parade, or even a front-page headline in Philadelphia. Now that the Barrage are gone, any joy Philadelphians could have garnered from the team's success is gone.

Wait, the Barrage are on the road the entire season? That's totally awesome. I guess we'll have to settle for not having any of that joy other cities experience when their outdoor lacrosse team wins the league title.

Update: Oh, yeah, there's a motorcade at 3-ish today down Market Street. Whoo, Soul!

Hey Philly: beggars can't be choosers [Summer Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:41 AM | Comments (3)

July 08, 2008

Graduate Hospital No More

While we're just describing things however we feel like it today, let's go with this: It appears Penn is not content to simply expand to the river in West Philly; today Graduate Hospital will re-open as Penn Medicine at Rittenhouse.

With the proposed foot bridge over the river and a new, hopefully non-scary South Street Bridge, will Penn one day stretch all the way into Center City? Who knows. For now people are content to spar over the name:

Technically, calling the new campus Penn Medicine at Rittenhouse is a bit of a stretch. The City Planning Commission says the official boundary of the Rittenhouse Square neighborhood stops a block north of the hospital, at South Street.

But naming the new place after its own neighborhood presented another set of problems. Stephen Singer, manager of research for the Center City District, said most people who live there call the neighborhood the Graduate Hospital area or G-HO.

Maybe people will start calling the neighborhood P-Med? Brad, when you're back from your honeymoon (congrats!), get on it.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:01 PM | Comments (8)

June 19, 2008

Renter Leaves Human Skull In Apt.

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. And he's so full of jest and fancy some renter left his skull in an apartment.

While cleaning out an apartment on South 49th Street -- A-ha! A Penn grad student, perhaps? -- a Campus Apartments manager found the skull sitting on a counter. One might have simply thought it was a message to the landlord from disaffected tenants, but the manager decided to call the police. The medical examiner's office confirmed that it was, in fact, a human skull.

Did a student just take the skull from a school building somewhere, like my freshman year roommate did? Perhaps. The Daily Summer Pennsylvanian reports it's unclear if a crime has been committed, but Campus Apartments did confirm the tenants were college students. I guess if it is Penn kids, it could be a case of Econ curve competition turned deadly.

Human skull left on kitchen counter [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:02 AM | Comments (3)

May 20, 2008

Writers House Open Directory (Feat. Me)

A friend of mine, John Carroll, recently shared on Google Reader this wondrous directory of /writershouse/, which is pretty much all the recorded media the Writers House has of speakers who visit.

And, yes, if you're interested: I am in this directory reading about rock paper scissors -- mainly, I am telling jokes -- and in this directory reading about how lonely I am (it also labels me "Dave"). Ooh, so emo! There's another RPS file of me reading there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it.

Now go over there and don't listen to me: Listen to some of the real writers read their awesome work.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2008

Ivanka Trump Back On The Market

It's been a while since I've written about fellow Class of 2004 Penn graduate Ivanka Trump, what with her rich boyfriend and all. (Why does she need a rich boyfriend? Shouldn't she allow poor girls to do that?)

But, alas! Ivanka Trump and her boyfriend, NY real estate mogul Jared Kushner, have apparently broken up. New York opines:

But here's our problem: They. Are. Too. Attractive. To. Break. Up. He is gorgeous, she's a knockout. They're both bajillionaires with Ivy League educations who are nine feet tall and thin. And they're funny and charming, too. IF THEY CAN'T MAKE IT WORK IN THIS CITY, NOBODY CAN.

The good news: I get a lot of Google hits for Ivanka Trump, and I hadn't written about her in a while. Phew. Naked nude xxx Ron Paul!!

Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump Sunder Relationship, Our Hearts [Daily Intel]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:43 AM | Comments (3)

March 21, 2008

Landscape Futures At Penn

Not cutting out of work to watch the NCAA Tournament? Don't even try to talk me. But you might want to cut out of work a little early to go catch a speech at Penn by BLDGBLOG's Geoff Manaugh at Myerson Hall (34th and Walnut, roughly).

Manaugh writes he'll be talking about the picture at right -- OMG best roller coaster ever! -- and other "landscape futures," which is something far too cool for me to understand. (Also: "climate change, ruined cities, tectonic warfare, James Bond, the literal end of the earth, and a bit of Hollywood-style archaeology.") BLDG BLOG is one of the smartest, most interesting blogs out there, and I even considered skipping some tourney games to go.

3:30 p.m., free, Meyerson Hall at Penn, probably in the basement.

Landcape futures at Penn [BLDG BLOG]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2008

Bra/Wallet Combo To End Poverty

The Daily Pennsylvanian reports on a great new product, in as much as it involves breasts: The Brallet!

It's a combo breast enhancer and wallet so you can have bigger boobs and hold your ID to get into a club and impress a dude with your bigger boobs. The product, conceived by first-year MBA student Sara Tenenbein, is the lead in a story about the Wharton Business Plan Competition. "Other ideas range from socks designed for below-knee amputees [so, mittens?—dmac] to new social networking technology," the DP writes.

Oh, yeah, and then there's this other semifinalist proposing low-cost healthy food for diabetics in India. "India is becoming the diabetic capital of the world," said a team member. But forget that -- it has nothing to do with breasts.

Don't use a purse? Try a brallet [DP]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:09 AM | Comments (2)

March 10, 2008

U. City Robbers Are Gladiator Maniacs

As you may have read, I was quite the fan of the new American Gladiators, for various reasons. It did fairly well in the ratings and is coming back for another season.

And apparently some robbers liked the show a lot, too, as two men allegedly tied up a Penn dental student and stayed at his apartment to watch a rerun of Gladiators. They also stayed overnight and took his laptop and iPhone.

While I enjoyed the show, I don't think I'd commit a home invasion to watch it. Even if it was an episode with a lot of Hellga in it.

Home Invaders Hold Man Captive 7 Hours, Watch 'Gladiator' [NBC 10]

Posted by D-Mac at 06:13 PM | Comments (2)

February 21, 2008

Karl Rove In Midseason Form At Penn

Karl Rove spoke at Penn last night, and it seems he was about as truthful there as he was during his time in the White House:

These earlier travels were juxtaposed with Rove's trip on Air Force One the morning of Sept. 11. After receiving word of the terrorist attacks, Bush and his staff got in the air "as fast as a 747 could.

Was that before or after George Bush won the 100 meter dash at the world championships?

Rove addresses U.S. politics [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 20, 2008

Penn Students Apparently Very Sober

A Dartmouth blogger recently did a nice big ol' chart about the Ivy League rates of alcohol infractions. The New Hampshire school was first with 52.3 per 1000 students, while Penn somehow had the lowest number per 1k kids, a measly 3.2.

So what's up, Penn kids? Is there so much to do in Philadelphia that you've all stopped drinking? Does the University of Pennsylvania actually have a -- gasp! -- sensible response to college drinking?

Oh, wait: Cocaine. And other assorted uppers and downers available in pill form. Nevermind.

How do the Ivies stack up on alcohol enforcement? [Joe's Dartblog]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:54 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

January 28, 2008

Commerce Bank Finally Robbed Again

The Penn branch of Commerce Bank (at 38th and Walnut streets) was robbed yesterday by a man with a blonde wig dressed as a woman.

Phew, I say. It had apparently hadn't been robbed since 2004; the branch was robbed eight times between 1996 and 2004. (It was also robbed twice in one week in April of '03.) No word on what led to the four-year drought of robberies at Commerce Bank, but, finally, the fabled Curse of the No Bank Robberies On Penn's Campus is over.

News Brief: Commerce Bank on campus robbed [DP]
Busy Commerce Bank a robbery target [DP]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Karl Rove To Address, Uh, Penn Kids

Hey, remember Karl Rove? You know, kinda chunky guy, balding, rapped with the creepy-looking guy from Who's Line Is It Anyway? (at right), helped Bush into the White House and start the war and such? Well, he's speaking at Penn next month.

Yes, Turd Blossom himself will be at the Irvine Auditorium on Feb. 20 as the "Social Planning and Events Committee Connaissance spring keynote speaker," which is something Penn probably had when I went there but I never knew what it was, and still don't. It's amazing that the fall keynote speaker was someone who had actually done more damage to our country than Rove (Whoopi Goldberg).

Anyway, the head of the Penn Democrats is disappointed they didn't bring in a speaker currently on the campaign trail, because that's practical.

"He's clearly very divisive, but it's disappointing that he's not Mitt Romney or Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton," said Wharton junior and Penn Democrats President Clayton Robinson, who said he would be interested in attending the event.

Yes, the head of the Penn Democrats really wants Mitt Romney to come to Penn. Maybe he has some gold tablets he needs translated. Ha ha, gold tablets, Mitt Romney is a Mormon, get it?

White House 'architect' Karl Rove to speak at Penn [DP]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Kumar Goes To West Philly

Famed actor Kal Penn, best known for playing a stoner in Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, has begun teaching his class at the University of Pennsylvania. Yes, indeed, Kumar is now teaching at Penn. One can assume St. Joseph's hiring of Joe Lunardi to teach Advanced Bracketology is not far behind.

Penn, whose name is actually Kalpen Modi, is an adjunct professor for this semester only in a class called ASAM 109: Asian Americans in the Media. And, uh, he seems pretty on the ball.

"I would love for them to independently think about imagery beyond the concept of race - to be able to look at and deconstruct certain images that we're taught to think of in a certain context and understand why they're so significant," he said. "We all watch movies, and there's a significance to those movies beyond entertainment that I hope the students are able to recognize after this class."

Naturally, the students will be viewing Harold & Kumar for the class. If things work out for me, one day I will be teaching a class at Penn showing the same film, along with the entire Cheech & Chong series, How High and that scene from Scary Movie 2 where the giant pot plant smokes one of the Wayans brothers. Just 'cuz, you know, it'd be pretty cool to teach a class titled Marijuana & Cinema at an Ivy League school.

Prof. Kumar calls class into session [Daily Pennsylvanian]
[Photo via DP/Matt "Buddy" Cianfrani]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 30, 2007

Shocker: Abortion Debate Turns Angry

Some group called OurVoice 2008, which hopes to mobilize young voters (ha ha, good luck), began a monthly debate series at Penn yesterday. Did they pick an issue where speakers could make strong political points and attempt to convince those in attendance of their point?

Ha ha, of course not, they had a debate about abortion.

An abortion debate hosted yesterday by OurVoice 2008, a group that aims to mobilize young voters, repeatedly broke down into a single vitriolic exchange between the pro-choice and pro-life debaters. [...]

But neither side made much effort to restrict their remarks to the subject at hand. Comfort, acting as moderator, frequently interceded to keep the debaters on topic. Audience members often broke into incredulous laughter, and personal accusations briefly flew between the participants.

Ooh, I hope gay marriage is next! And then capital punishment! Hmm, what else?

OurVoice 2008 hosts abortion debate [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

November 28, 2007

Professor Killer Finally Resigns Post

Earlier this week, ex-Penn professor Rafael Robb pled guilty to manslaughter for killing his wife. He will most likely face 4 1/2 to 6 years in prison, and some people are saying it's a bit of a light sentence for bludgeoning your wife to death. These people have apparently spent their recent years in some sort of hermetically sealed bubble and are just learning how the American justice system works. Next they're going to tell me black people get incarcerated longer for drug possession than white people do!

But no matter. The real story is: Rafael Robb is no longer a Penn professor! Yes, when I wrote ex-Penn professor the other day I was apparently in error; the Associated Press reports Robb, an econ prof, officially resigned yesterday, the day after his guilty plea.

Anyway, so, no more Prof. Robb at Penn. Professor Ira Einhorn is still teaching his environmental science course come springtime.

Professor Officially Resigns After Wife's Death [AP/CBS 3]
Monday: Ex-Penn Prof. Pleads Guilty To Manslaughter

Posted by D-Mac at 01:09 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

November 27, 2007

Penn Panty Raider Arrested!

A Penn student has been arrested for allegedly mastermining several panty raids.

Yes, Penn senior Felix Wang was arrested for allegedly stalking several Penn women -- really? Penn women? -- and stealing their panties. This goes to show that watching all three Revenge of the Nerds movies over and over will do to you. (One of the women he's accused of stalking lives in the dorm I used to live in.)

The one-man panty raid gang allegedly stole a woman's dorm room key and entered her place; a roommate called police. But he didn't apparently even need to do that, since Penn kids are just too smart to lock their doors.

"I don't feel particularly safe because I don't lock my door and I know most college kids don't, so something like that, it could lead to bigger instances," student Christine Guo said.

Hey, people. You all have $3,000 computers and $500 iPods and expensive cell phones, etc. Plus, uh, this. Here's an idea they don't teach in Econ 1: Lock your fucking doors!

UPenn Student Arrested For Alleged Underwear Theft [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 26, 2007

Ex-Penn Prof. Pleads Guilty To Manslaughter

Ex-Penn professor Rafael Robb pled guilty today to manslaughter charges for bludgeoning his wife to death with a "grab-rail exercise bar."

At his guilty plea, he said he "just snapped" and apologized to his daughter for killing her mom. "I know she liked her mother," he actually said. Yeah, no shit. He faces up to seven years in prison.

Penn Professor Pleads to Manslaughter [6 ABC]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 16, 2007

NEW YORK PAPER TAKES INTEREST IN PHILADELPHIA

Today's New York Daily News has an article by Jason Sheften Sheftell -- a poor man's Jessica Pressler, perhaps -- about living in Philadelphia.

Some New Yorkers apparently commute to Philadelphia, and only the Acela it only takes an hour and eight minutes to ride up to NYC. Hey, that is pretty quick. He writes about the ridiculously expensive Domus at 34th and Chestnut -- $1,799 for a one-bedroom -- and, of course:

10-minute walk to Rittenhouse Square and the center of the city, the Graduate Hospital (G-Ho) area has a raw, almost haggard, edge to it. There are abandoned lots next to new construction townhouses next to simple rowhouses that lack the refined elegance and historic charm of Philadelphia's more established neighborhoods.

Also, this dude got mugged while he was a student at Penn, he says. Guess there weren't $1800 apartments across the street from the law school back then.

Ever thought of living in Philadelphia? [NY Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:50 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)

November 13, 2007

Penn Student Government Finally Tackles Pressing Issue

[Undergraduate Assembly] Housing is also working with [Housing and Conferences Services] to bring in-house tutoring services to College Houses as well as thicker brands of toilet paper.

That is a crucial part of being a well-rounded student. If your ass is chafed, you can't even think about studying.

If Penn needs any outside consulting on the subject, I am a certified expert.

News Brief: Library hours, toilet paper on UA agenda [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 09, 2007

I Miss College

Students at the event also discussed whether Islam forbade being attracted to people of the same sex, or only homosexual acts.

Wharton and Engineering junior and MSA member Danish Munir said that while the Koran does not specifically mention homosexuality, homosexual acts are forbidden.

Other students agreed, noting it was acts of sodomy that are forbidden, not a homosexual mindset.

After the meeting, the feedback was widely positive.

Santorum's criticism of Muslims inspires dialogue [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:22 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

November 06, 2007

Eros Flowing Like Crazy With Penn Minister

There's plenty to talk about the election today -- okay, not really -- but let's begin with a story that's better than politics. It's about religion and sex. Usually, that means "priest sex scandal," but this is good religion and sex. At Penn, the Rev. Beverly Dale mixes religion with, uh, "erotic passion." Now here's a religion I could get into!

Rev. Dale says she's attempting to break the right-wing's stranglehold on Christian imagery, even though she's the only one she knows of doing this sex/God mashup. "The erotic is an incredibly powerful urge that can be exploitative, and the fear is it cannot be controlled, but of course it can be," Dale told The Daily Pennsylvanian. "But rather than help people channel the erotic, the Church has historically repressed it in a limited, legalistic way."

Hey, this sounds both crazy and perfectly sensible at the same time. Hey, if I can find somebody who tells me God wants me to have a better sex life, sounds good to me. As Dale says: "If you have a marriage license, Eros is supposed to flow like crazy, but pieces of paper do not guarantee a satisfying erotic life, and the real issue is that the Church has cut off the body from the spirit." Sign me up.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 02, 2007

Go To Penn And Learn About Teamwork

Hey, so Penn has this thing called the "Wharton School," which is apparently some sort of businessman factory or something. And there's also the "College," which is where people go to major in science and majors where you don't have to go to class.

But, soon, you'll be able to go to the "College" and learn how to be a businessman anyway! The School of Arts & Sciences is planning a minor called B-FLAT - Budgeting, Finance, Leadership and Teamwork, because that's a way better thing to say when you meet somebody at a bar if she asks you what your major was. "Oh, I was in B-FLAT, beeyotch!" (Also, it's good to know there will soon be a degree worth even less than my one in English; if you go to Penn to study teamwork, you need to give your money to the poor instead.)

The Wharton School, as expected, is none too pleased:

"I think it provides a disservice to the school," said Georgette Chapman Phillips, Wharton's vice dean of Undergraduate Education. "If you are going to take all these business classes, why aren't you doing it in" Wharton?

Because you wouldn't let them in. Duh.

College pushes for minor in business [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:31 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

October 30, 2007

WWE Wrestler Wows Ivy League Kids

About a hundred World Wresting Entertainment fans gathered to see Chris Jericho - wrestler turned actor, television personality, radio host, rock star and now author - at a book-signing appearance for his first book, A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex.

According to Jericho, the book is a "coming-of-age story" depicting how he "got to the pot of gold, with wrestling as a backdrop." [...] "The Sexy Beast," as Jericho is known, took a hiatus from wrestling beginning in 2004 after a loss to fellow WWE wrestler John Cena.

Rumors of a possible comeback spread throughout the line of fans, but Jericho was reluctant to respond to questions about it.

Although fans had little to say about Jericho's latest TV movie, Android Apocalypse, they said they enjoyed his literary debut.

Ahh, yes, literary giant Chris Jericho speaks at the Penn Bookstore. Was there a screening of Android Apocalypse to coincide with his book signing? That film is from 2006, so the writer was looking up things to add to the article on IMDb. Or he somehow saw Android Apocalypse last year.

WWE star draws crowd at Penn Bookstore [DP]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Hack Heaven

Geeze, I mean, I don't think he's that bad of a designer. Oh.

Hack to end term as dean of Design School [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 23, 2007

Nutter, Some Dude Engage In Mayoral Debate

I might be wrong, but I think Al Taubenberger looks like this (photo about halfway down page). I think that's University City Review editor Bob Christian in the photo -- he moderated the debate -- but, once again, Al Taubenberger has had a bit of an unintentional indictment of his campaign.

Candidates tackle University expansion [Daily Pennsylvanian]
Sunday: Nutter, Whatshisname Debate The Issues

Posted by D-Mac at 10:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)