May 07, 2008

Pens-Flyers Seemingly Months Away

Ahh, yes, the Flyers. For some reason the NHL decided after all the excitement of the first two rounds, what the hockey players really needed was a week-long break so they can play hockey until June.

I understand the players are tired and maybe a break means better hockey. But it's leading to people writing "breaking news" stories about plots to put a Penguins statue on the Rocky Statue. Oh, no. What. ever. would. we. do.

Meanwhile, check out the mother's basement reference in this piece. Oh, no, Philadelphians make fun of Philadelphia! Please: Youse think guys from Pittsburgh would take some pointers from Philadelphians and bash their own city once in a while.

The Flyers only need to be better than the Penguins in the Stanley Cup semifinals. Similarly, I only need to show that Philly is better than Pittsburgh. I don't really even have to try to do that.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:04 PM | Comments (1)

May 05, 2008

Vengeance Soon!

Well, well! The Flyers polished off the Montreal Canadiens on Saturday night and will take on the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Eastern Conference Finals. It's the closest a Philadelphia sports team has been to a championship since the Eagles lost the Super Bowl in 2005.

The Flyers have already beaten the game's one young superstar, Alex "Blowback Chicken" Ovechkin, and beat Canada's team of destiny in Montreal. What's one more superstar -- Sidney Crosby, aka the whining brat (note: I don't know anything about Crosby I'm just assuming he's a whiner because he's a star hockey player in 2008) -- to take down in a seven-game series?

The leader of the Flyers this series was none other than R.J. Umberger, who had two goals in the clinching game Saturday night. Archie Hamburger had eight goals in five games against Montreal; he only had 13 goals all season.

The series begins Friday out in Pittsburgh. Starting tomorrow, Philadelphia Will Do will be relentlessly bashing Pittsburgh all week in advance of the Flyers' trip to the Stanley Cup Semifinals. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Flyers-Pens: Expect a punishing contest [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:05 PM | Comments (4)

June 12, 2007

Breaking: Penguins Don't Want To Go To Camden

By far, this is the best press release of the year:

To all my friends in the media, good morning. Please be advised that the information below should replace any and all previous e-mail calendar listings you might have for Adventure Aquarium - specifically those listing the event formerly known as PENGUIN-PALOOZA. This event is not happening at Adventure Aquarium and all the events that are taking place are listed in the revised calendar listing below

As soon as possible please remove any information from your publications and/or websites that refer to PENGUIN-PALOOZA and replace them with the events I have listed below. Thank you so much for your efforts on this and helping us to make sure that each and every guest to your outlet is the best and most informed readers. Have a great day.

So what happened? Did the penguins escape? Did the penguins not want to go to Camden? (This seems the most likely option.) Did the penguins think "PENGUIN-PALOOZA" didn't really make much sense either? The public demands to know!

Update: The plot thickens! Penguin Island is apparently still an attraction at the Adventure Aquarium!

Posted by D-Mac at 09:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)