July 30, 2008

Manny Being Philly?

Every year, Manny Ramirez says he's tired of playing for the Boston Red Sox, and every year the hometown TV station of the Sox (ESPN) treats it as if the Holy Ghost were divorcing God and Jesus.

It took a while for things to get rolling this year, but now we're in full Manny-leaving-the-Red Sox watch. This year, as usual, all the reporters say this is the year the Sox will finally trade Ramirez. SI.com's Jon Heyman reports it's down to the Phillies and the Marlins in the Man-Ram trade sweepstakes.

The Phillies have downplayed the possibility of acquiring Ramirez in media reports but haven't ruled it out entirely. If outfielder Pat Burrell isn't involved in the trade, one question would be whether Ramirez or Burrell could play right field for Philadelphia.

An early version of the story suggested the Phils could swap Burrell for Ramirez, straight-up, free agent-to-be for free agent-to-be. (Ramirez has two option years left on his contract, but Heyman writes he would likely want those to be dropped if he were to be traded.) Seems like a strange idea -- and one that could backfire. A trade making the Phillies' outfield the worst defensive OF in history but a lineup of Rollins-Utley-Howard-Ramirez-Burrell would be absolutely outofsight.

In closing: Ramirez won't be traded (as usual).

Update: Ken Rosenthal with the hilarious trade:

The Phillies might take Ramirez, major-league sources say, but only if the deal were a "giveaway" -- say, outfielder Geoff Jenkins and a fringe prospect. The Red Sox could not make such a deal without hurting their team unless they acquired a slugger such as the Pirates' Jason Bay or Reds' Adam Dunn in a separate trade.

He also writes the Mets have the best shot. Oh, goodie.

Marlins join Phillies atop Manny sweepstakes [SI.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)

July 07, 2008

The Audacity Of Hype: Vote Burrell Into ASG

The All-Star teams were announced yesterday, and the Phillies have two on it: starting 2B Chase Utley (the highest vote-getter among all NL players) and reliever Brad Lidge. But the Fightins can get one more onto the team, as none other than Pat Burrell is in the "final five" fan voting.

We did this a few years back and got Bobby Abreu onto the team. Now it is time to do so for Pat Burrell. One can either vote online or text N1 to 36197. The Fightins has more.

It is all up to us now. This is by far the biggest election we'll have this year. Vote Burrell!

Posted by D-Mac at 07:56 AM | Comments (2)

May 12, 2008

Pat Burrell's Man-Purse

From a Phillies.com mailbag column:

I was watching an interview with Chase Utley, and at the end he said Pat Burrell owns a man purse. From your knowledge of the team, have you seen Burrell strutting around with a nice gator skin man purse? -- Kyle M., Pitman, N.J.

In seven years of being around Burrell, I have yet to see Burrell with a man purse of any kind, and I don't plan on asking him or Utley about it. That said, Utley ought to know, don't you think?

Citizens of Philadelphia who frequent the Irish Pub, we eagerly await your report.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:10 PM | Comments (1)

May 03, 2008

Burrell Finally Proves Model Correct!

Hey, remember this? The above CG image was the model of Citizens Bank Park, created before the stadium even had a corporate sponsor -- hence the blue logo for the stadium's name. If you look on the big screen you'll see the phrase, "HOME RUN, Pat Burrell! PHILS WIN!"

Well, Pat Burrell never had a walkoff home run in Citizens Bank Park; he hadn't had a walkoff homer since 2002. Until last night, that is. The Fightins trailed by a run on an Aaron Rowand homer in the top of the 10th, but Burrell won it with a 3-2 line drive homer into the left field seats.

Redlasso video of the homer after the jump courtesy of The 700 Level.

Continue reading "Burrell Finally Proves Model Correct!"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:44 PM | Comments (3)

April 23, 2008

Howard Nearly Runs Down Utley In Win

The best part of last night's Phillies game was not Pat Burrell's game-winning double, though that was pretty awesome, too. And it wasn't the female streaker, since the TV didn't show that -- and she kept her bra on, anyway. (Okay, the female streaker is pretty cool, also.)

No, it was Ryan Howard running just a half-step behind Chase Utley as they both rounded third, looking to grab the go-ahead and insurance runs from the Colorado Rockies. Because Burrell's hit could have been caught, Utley held up at second and Howard went all the way near the bag; once it dropped, both sprinted for home plate like it was that one scene from Rookie of the Year.

The Phillies are finally above .500 (they're 11-10) and swept the Rockies in a two-game series. Video of the game-winning hit and hilarious basepath action after the jump.

Continue reading "Howard Nearly Runs Down Utley In Win"

Posted by D-Mac at 10:15 AM | Comments (2)

April 11, 2008

If Ryan Howard Joins The Media, He'll Be Dead To Pat Burrell

One of my first editors back in college now works at the New York Daily News and interviewed Ryan Howard for his Touching Base blog.

Here's the relevant info, about whether Howard (a communications major at Missouri State) would join the media one day:

Touching Base: Do you think you’ll be in the media someday?

Ryan Howard: Maybe, hopefully down the road.
Pat Burrell (grabbing something from his adjacent locker): You’ll lose one friend.
RH: (Laughing)… maybe when my career’s over. (Still laughing)… did you hear that, Jenks?
Geoff Jenkins (at his locker on the other side): I don’t even want to know.
RH: He said, “Do you think that you’ll be in the media, maybe sometime down the road?” I said, “Maybe one day.” Burrell’s like, “Yeah, you’ll lose one friend.” (Laughs) That’s (messed) up!

Incredibly (messed) up! Man, I can't wait for the Ryan Howard/Jared The Subway Guy Morning Show after he retires, though.

Nine Innings: Ryan Howard [New York Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:04 PM | Comments (0)

February 19, 2008

Pat Burrell Is The New Mike Schmidt

Last night on Comcast SportsNet, here's what was said about the Phillies' Pat Burrell:

I've often times said Pat reminds me of myself... I would say this about Pat Burrell. The Phillies have one, two, three -- three, is it? -- solid MVP candidates and I believe Pat Burrell could be the fourth this year.

The person who said that: Mike Schmidt. But Burrell isn't going to be playing third, I don't think.

Burrell also comments on the "Man or Machine?" shirt: "My wife has one. She asked me why I don't look like that anymore. You guys have to remember, that was on a billboard. That picture has been around."

Posted by D-Mac at 11:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 14, 2008

Phillies Already Making Fun Of Pat Burrell

As you no doubt know, today is the day when pitchers & catchers report! (It's also some sort of greeting card company holiday.) No longer will we have to not watch the 76ers in our spare time; now we can fantasize about heading down to Clearwater to catch some baseball if we had any money or time.

Anyway, the Phils are down there and the Phillies are already having a little fun, reports new Daily News Phillies beat guy David Murphy on his blog. (Don't worry if you didn't know about it; Philly.com doesn't bother to promote their blogs. But lots of Wing Bowl coverage!) Some prankster got that shirtless Phillies calendar photo of Burrell that comes up a million times on Google Image Search and put it on a shirt with the caption "Man or Machine?"

While I do think the caption needs a little work -- no innuendo in a caption on a photo like that?? -- it is nice to see the Phillies are back in action.

Update: And, hey, just in time for spring training, there's a History of Baseball exhibit coming to the Constitution Center. Phillies Hall of Famer Robin Roberts likes it: "For some reason I got a kick out of Shoeless Joe Jackson's shoes."

Man or machine? You decide [High Cheese]

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August 28, 2007

Pat The Bat Popped Out Again

By now you may have heard about the verbal altercation between Phillies pitcher Brett "The Incredible Hulk" Myers and Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi, where Myers called Carchidi a "fucking retard." There's audio from KYW 1060 here. While it's not, "We talkin' bout practice," it is pretty good.)

Taking a cute from Dawn Stensland, Myers' later apologized to any retards he offended. Weird thing is, Myers has had his alleged physical-alertcation-with-wife problems, but he usually doesn't blow up at reporters or anything, except for this one mild-mannered reporter.

But who cares about that. After Myers's and Carchidi's voices began to raise, Pat Burrell -- wearing only a towel -- attempted to calm things down. Burrell is currently doing everything right. And what happened, but, whoops, the towel fell off.

Brett Myers blows (the game); screams obscenities at reporter [Bugs & Cranks]
Myers Apologizes for Word Choice [AP/Comcast SportsNet]
March 15: Retards Force Dawn Stensland To Apologize

Posted by D-Mac at 03:15 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

June 06, 2007

Two's A Crowd

The Phillies won last night, thanks to Chase Utley, who's standing on third there. Sliding into third obliviously is Pat Burrell, who apparently forgot two people can't be on the bag at the same time.

Utley's blast helps Phillies Chase Mets [Daily News]
[Photo by AP/via Yahoo]

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August 14, 2006

Sounds Like Someone Got Cockblocked By Pat Burrell

If you want to meet Pat the Bat [Craigslist]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

July 31, 2006

Sexy Singles Love Their Phillies, Uh, Pitchers

Today is the Daily News annual "Sexy Singles" competition, celebrating the sexiest friends of Daily News reporter Jenice Armstrong, as well as a few media people. (Co-host of 10! show? Check. Co-host of Good Day Philadelphia? Check.)

This year, it's been split up into two days, with the men tomorrow -- oh, we are excited -- and the women today. There's not much of note in the list of sexy singles. None of them are particularly bad-looking, only one nominated herself for the award. The DN web staff apparently didn't think we'd be interested in seeing photos of sexy singles, so you'll have to buy the paper to see the damage. But this did catch our eye (italics ours):

Lindsay Megraw

Age: 29
Job: Nanny.
Marital status: Single.
Neighborhood: West Chester.
Number of children: None. [...]
Secretly lusts for: Phillies pitcher Pat Burrell.

I believe that's what we call a swing and a miss.

Update, 2:38 p.m.: Since this has been posted, (1) the incorrect position for Pat Burrell has been fixed and (2) photos have been uploaded. Huzzah.

Sexy & Single [Daily News]
LF Pat Burrell [Phillies.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)