NE Times: Repeal 8th Amendment

Oh, I just knew there’d be something good in there this week! From the Northeast Times editorial this week:

After Congress and the president finally find a way to avert another Great Depression, they should turn to approving a constitutional amendment that would lift the ban on cruel and unusual punishment and allow states to torture repeat hard-core criminals and vicious, cold-blooded murderers.

Um, guys, I’m pretty sure we already torture people, just not on the books. (Gitmo, prison rape, etc.) However, I do appreciate your choice of an appropriate headline for your editorial.

More madness [Northeast Times]

Local Elections Heating Up

It’s not just Sarah Palin’s visit that is heating up the election scene in Philadelphia this week. (I have no idea what “the election scene” means. But it sounds kind of catchy, so I’ll keep it.)

In the Northeast Times, there’s a letter to the editor about the tight Matt Taubenberger-Brendan Boyle state house race:

On a recent Saturday night, I was home with my family when a car came up my street and stopped in front of my home. As we were not expecting company, we guessed they were looking for an address and would move on. Our street is very quiet with little traffic, and when the car did not move my daughter looked outside. What she saw shocked her and my whole family.

A man ran onto our lawn and stole the sign placed there supporting Brendan Boyle for Pennsylvania state representative. The man then jumped back into the car and sped away. No one bothered the opponent’s sign on a lawn two doors away, leading me to believe that this was not a juvenile prank. The next morning I noticed several Brendan Boyle signs missing from my neighborhood. I have heard that more than 50 signs were taken that weekend.

My family and I are disappointed to think that Brendan Boyle’s opponent’s staff or volunteers would behave as if this was a contest for junior high school class president and not Pennsylvania representative. We will replace the sign, and hopefully the public’s knowledge of these actions will discourage any further childish actions from these individuals.

Stealing signs! Sigh. That would shock my whole family, too. What is happening to Philadelphia?

The letters page also has this headline:

Yes. Yes, they do.

$6.95 Sure Sounds Like a Deal

There’s a certain subgroup of Philadelphians who read the Northeast Times’ letters page for unintentional comedy. I never really understood the appeal, until I read the latest edition, which is truly a mirror into the collective soul of a nation. From a letter entitled, “He has a yen for better Chinese food”:

As a lifelong resident of the Northeast one thing bothers me — the quality of the Chinese food that the Chinese restaurants serve in our area. Never in my life have I had such horrible food.

Chinese cuisine is one of the world’s greatest, but you would not know it by the slop served at our local Chinese places. I know that what is served is considered “Americanized,” but the quality still should be there. Given the price of gas, I cannot afford to run down to Center City.

Is there any Chinese restaurant owner that takes pride in what they serve? Would you as an owner eat your own food? I don’t think you would. The big problem is that most people cannot differentiate between good quality and bad. Are all Chinese sauces over-thickened, salty and inedible? Do you really think you’re getting a deal for $6.95?

I love that this hits upon quality of Chinese food in a distinct region, gas prices, the Americanization of foreign cultures and civic pride all in one fell swoop. Expect an investigative report on the deliciousness of Asian cuisine in Mayfair to be forthcoming from the Northeast Times.

Letters to the Editor [Northeast Times, Fourth Item]

Black, White And Dead Behind The Eyes

Okay, the Northeast Times is just baiting, now. First off, there’s a letter in this week’s edition titled, “Stop the injustice against the MOVE 9!” Right. Then, there’s this:

The debate continues, in black and white

In response to Melissa S. Tulin’s letter in the July 3 edition (She’s tired of the stereotypes), I suggest that she comprehend what my original letter stated before she claims others are racist simply because they disagree with her.

This way of thinking is exactly what I was talking about. Once again, African-Americans claim that they want to be “judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin,” when reality proves otherwise.

You state that some studies suggest that white women are the main beneficiaries of affirmative action, but you somehow omit the fact that on the whole, they outscore the African-American applicants.

Secondly, you correctly state the fact that unemployment is higher among black people, but you never mention why. Statistically, blacks score lower than others and a higher percentage are incarcerated. If you were an employer, who would you hire? Lastly, as a whole, crime and the quality of life is negatively affected when African-Americans move in. If you need proof, ride throughout the city and tell me different.

Yep. And when you let white people write letters to the editor, you get the stupidest argument styles possible. If you need proof… etc., etc.

Letters to the Editor 6.24.08 [Northeast Times]

Letter Writer: Teens Are Ugly Opium Eaters

Did you guys read the current issue of the Northeast Times yet? If you didn’t, you missed this letter, possibly the best one the paper has ever printed. (And it is really a tough contest.)

Sick and tired of the teens in Fox Chase

I am writing in response to Miss Sondra Lorino’s letter last week (Memo to bike-seat thief: You’re a coward). Frankly, I think it is utterly ridiculous that these hoodlums stole an innocent girl’s bike seat. I myself am sick and tired of the teenagers in this neighborhood. Last week I was walking my beloved Boston terrier Otto though the path at Burholme Park, when he cut his paw open on a broken beer bottle left by ignorant teens. It’s bad enough they’re hurting the neighborhood, but now small children and animals? Luckily my dog was OK, but who’s going to pay the vet bill? Maybe next time instead of buying a case of Zima or whatever they’re drinking these days, they can reimburse me for Otto’s left paw.

I also noticed Ms. Lorino’s concern about the recreation center. This too makes me very angry. It’s a recreation center meant for the youth, but it’s filled with teenagers and drugs. It’s beginning to remind me of an opium den in Taiwan. It’s occupied with ugly-looking teens and little kids using playground equipment. Does this make any sense? You tell me!

Who’s here to stop all these? Fox Chase Town Watch? Where are they? We would be better off having a blind version of the A-Team minus Face and Mr. T. Sure, I do see them patrolling, and they do help out a lot, but we need more. We need to reinforce the curfew laws. I see kids no older than 14 running around the neighborhood at 4 in the morning all souped up on God-knows-what. They’re out there throwing pennies and apples at people. Also I see the young girls walking around drunk with grown men. Where are the parents? Remember, the world revolves around action and responsibility.

Ahh, yes, the ol’ “blind version of the A-Team minus Face and Mr. T” reference. And I think it’s silly this letter writer doesn’t get why the young girls are walking around with grown men: As he proved in his previous paragraph, teenagers nowadays are ugly. Plus grown men can get something better than Zima, which not even teenagers drink anymore.

With apologies to Vogt Playground, which isn’t even in Fox Chase. Eh.

Now This Is A Way To Start An Editorial

Thank you, Northeast Times:

It’s time for the vocal minority of tree-hugging, narrowminded naysayers who live in fantasy land to put up or shut up. Come up with a cure for cancer or step back and let Fox Chase Cancer Center do its job unfettered.

Ahh, the ol’ “find a cure for cancer” demand.

A crucial decision [Northeast Times]

High Gas Prices? Blame NASCAR.

There’s an excellent letter to the editor in the current edition of the Northeast Times, about high gas prices. The letter blames several people and/or groups for the high price of gas, but most notable are these two:

The second is a group of people, who many probably do not even think about: Race car drivers like NASCAR. They use the same gas we do. They have to put gas in the trucks that transport the race cars. If NASCAR did not exist, there would automatically be less demand for gas, and therefore more of a supply. And let’s not forget the fans that expend gas traveling to these events.

The third group consists of store owners. If we lived in a perfect world, we could go to one place and purchase everything that we needed, from groceries to clothes to auto parts, etc. But we do not live in a perfect world and businesses are shuffled all across neighborhoods, towns and cities. In reality, we cannot fault store owners, though. They have to purchase properties where they can.

And what about NASCAR drivers who drive to the stores? Those greedy shop owners, not selling every product imaginable, and instead only having specialty shops that sell “ice cream” or “compact discs” or whatever!

I do like the idea of lowering gas prices by eliminating NASCAR and making every store a Wal-Mart. Don’t they have the same clientele?

Update: Hey, look, NASCAR actually answered this complaint back in 2004 on its official website. Er, well, not really, it just mentioned other ways we Americans waste gas.

5/29 Letters [Northeast Times]

Fun With ‘NE Times’ Letters Page

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. Let’s take a look.

But one thing that bites at me is that all these fine men in blue were white. How is it that they are always the first to respond?

Last year I visited my old hometown (Philadelphia). I drove by six police patrol cars on the road. Four out of six had the “rap music” on so loud I don’t think they could hear a dispatcher’s call. And the other two were on cell phones with their heads bobbing left to right. Very professional.

Oh, all six were black. I’m not saying I wished the cops that were killed were black, because I am not. But it just seems so strange that all were white.

Thanks, Anthony J. Porta from Sebring, Florida, for your insightful letter. “I’m not saying anything racist, like I wish black cops were killed. I just think all the black officers on the Philadelphia police department are lazy and listen to rap ‘music.’ See what I did there, with the quotes around it, insinuating it’s not any good?”

Why are the white cops the ones to die? [Northeast Times, 4th from bottom]

Oh, Northeast Times, How I Miss You

From an editorial last week:

Who among us is sad that Howard Cain, who police believe shot and killed Sgt. Liczbinski, was himself shot and killed by police shortly after the sergeant was killed? If Cain was guilty of murder, he got what he deserved.

And if he was innocent, oh well, sorry about that.

NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze

Ton of stuff in the Northeast Times last week, which I noticed when I was in the NE for Thanksgiving. For example, this letter about how Bill and Hillary are the anti-Jack Kelly:

There are many pet lovers who write letters to the Northeast Times. I wonder what they think of the Clintons’ bid to get back in the White House?

The Clintons entered the White House with their lovable cat Socks. Then they adopted their dog Buddy when Bill got into his women problems and needed to seem more, I guess, normal.

Presidential candidate Hillary once even wrote a book about the pets, and we were told how Socks loved to roll in the laundry (as if Hillary ever did laundry.)

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