May 09, 2008

Gossip Girlfriend

Each week, my girlfriend and I plan to discuss Gossip Girl. No, really. It's going to be awesome, and posted on Tuesdays from now on.

Three weeks ago, my girlfriend came over to watch the return of Gossip Girl, which she has become taken with: She has been reading the books and has been nice enough to regale me with awesome young adult descriptions like "a publisher of lesser-known beat poets" and a passage about buying weed in Central Park -- clearly the only way for a rich kid to get drugs.

I was, of course, immediately taken with the show as well. These girls have more drama in one day of high school than I did in four years. (And I took two AP English classes!) They drink every night (I was straight edge), have tons of sex (I was a loser) and hire people to take their SATs for them (I never had any money). It's like Degrassi with richer and prettier people! If this doesn't prove to my girlfriend how awesome American capitalism is -- I think she's some sort of socialist -- then we'll just chalk her up as a lost cause.

And, so, yes, everyone (in New York, but whatever) writes about Gossip Girl online. Why not join the party? I know what you're thinking: Dan, you kinda do dumb things, what if you do a dumb thing to your girlfriend and she breaks up with you? If you know me that well, you should also know I never plan ahead.

After the jump, a few video clips and some thoughts from the two of us.

Continue reading "Gossip Girlfriend"

Posted by D-Mac at 10:59 AM | Comments (13)

January 17, 2008

Rendell, Bloomberg To Form Chosen Ticket?

With the Eagles out of the playoffs this year and his weekends free, Ed Rendell will appear this Saturday with Michael Bloomberg in California.

The Associated Press takes this opportunity to let us know this will spark rumors of an independent political ticket for president in 2008, as there is no way a Jewish former mayor of New York City and a Jewish former mayor of Philadelphia -- the two most beloved cities in the country, I believe -- could possibly lose the presidency. Will it play in Peoria? Where won't it play in Peoria?

Rendell's spokesman says the governor is not going to be running for vice president with Bloomberg and says he's just going to chill with Gov. Terminator and Bloomberg to talk about infrastructure. But that's much less fun. All hail Vice President Rendell!

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December 17, 2007

The Alycia Lane Files

By now you've seen this at 10,000 other places, but I figured I might as well pile on. (Sorry for the delay; I've been having problems posting, of course.) Since I'm too lazy to scan in my own copy myself, here are your criminal complaints, in two easy versions.

Philly.com's front page has your censored version (direct link) while Metro lets the fucks fly.

CBS 3 has finally reported on it: "Alycia categorically denies she made any comment, or that she struck the officer." Dan Gross says she will be edited out of CBS 3's holiday special; Lane is, right now, "on vacation" (really) until at least 2008, says Michael Klein. The Philadelphia press is going all out on this story.

Continue reading "The Alycia Lane Files"

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September 28, 2007

Let's See How They're Taking It Up In New York

Ugh. Ads on the back page? I'd rather have a giant bee on top of the Inquirer building.

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July 23, 2007

Suburbs Apparently Better Than We All Thought

We here in Philadelphia are well known for having an inferiority complex compared to New York, Boston, DC (yeah I dunno), etc. I think it's partially that most residents of this city bash the city out of love, but fair enough.

However: Maybe we're all being inferior about the wrong places. Maybe both New York and Philly should be jealous of the suburbs. Far-fetched? Hardly. Check out this quote about a boy from the Bronx who makes an annual summer trip to Bucks County.

"He was just so awed by being in the suburbs — walking in the grass with bare feet, just seeing the pleasures and joys in him," explained Ruth Haines.

This marks the first time the words "awed" and "suburbs" have been so close together in a sentence.

‘Just so awed by being in the suburbs’ [Bucks County Courier Times]

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July 01, 2007

Alycia Lane Fever Moves From Philadelphia Will Do Comments To, Um, New York Post

It looks like the Alycia Lane obsessiveness of Philadelphia Will Do commenter "ALB" does more than annoy fellow readers of this site. No, his (or her) influence extends to, um, the New York Post as well!

In yesterday's Page Six in the Post, the call for Alycia Lane bikini photos from "ALB" was reiterated. No, really.

Page Six broke the story two months ago of how the foxy, divorced TV reporter for CBS affiliate KYW-TV sent saucy swimsuit snaps to very-married NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen - which got her a stinging rebuke from Eisen's wife, Suzy Shuster. Since then, fans of Lane have been on a tear trying to find pictures of her in a bikini. One of their forums has been Philadephia Weekly, which has been blitzed with requests. Daniel McQuade, editor of the paper's Philadelphia Will Do blog, was so deluged, he finally posted a doctored photo featuring Lane's head taped on a buxom bikini model's body. "People still want to see her," McQuade tells us. "I still get hundreds of hits a day from people looking up her name."

Yes, that's right: I, Daniel McQuade, got one of those "tells us" declarations instead of simply "said," therefore letting the public know it was an exclusive interview with me. I'm that much in demand. Anyway, it's only a matter of time before I move from Page Six commentator -- to be honest, I thought I was going to be asked about Mayor Street and his iPhone, I would have had funnier jokes planned had I been thinking about Alycia Lane beforehand -- to international superstar, and youse can say I sucked when I was underground, too.

In other news, I hate the Internet.

Panting for Bikini Babe [Page Six]
Archives: Alycia Lane

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June 07, 2007

Mark B. Cohen Still Reading A Lot, Comparatively

Mark B. Cohen might be billing trips to a fancy soirée in New York to the taxpayers, but he has cut back a bit on the book habit. As you may remember, back in 2006 the Inquirer reported he had spent $28,200 in books for the past two years, including AOL for Dummies and The Zen of Gambling.

Well, Cohen's book bill was just $3,200 last year, only purchasing a mere 63 books, all of which I'm sure he's read and used to better the legislature.

Of course, Cohen is attempting to do anything he can to stop you from finding out about it.

Cohen spent $100 in January for the latest edition of the Open Government Guide, a detailed look by the Reporters Committee for the Freedom of the Press at the nation's varied state laws dealing with public access to records.

A month after buying the book, Cohen became the only member of the new Speaker's Reform Commission - a panel studying how to make Harrisburg more accountable - to vote against a proposal to provide expense records electronically.

If you dare to question Mark Cohen's free-spending ways, he'll pretend his free trips to New York and thousands and thousands of dollars of books is somehow good for me, average taxpayer.

The Pennsylvania Society is not much of a party either. There is no dancing, no romantic music and no mood of hilarity. It is considerably more staid than many, many Christmas parties. [...] Once again, the Inquirer has documented that I engage in legislative-related activities not only five days a week, but also on weekends, not only in Philadelphia but in other places where people relevant to the legislative process gather. This is a grasping, overreaching search for scandal where there is none.

Ha ha! Get it? His free tips to New York weren't all that much fun, so it's okay that we paid for it. Now where's my fucking book report on What a Party!: My Life Among Democrats: Presidents, Candidates, Donors, Activists, Alligators and Other Wild Animals by Terry McAuliffe and Steve Kettmann? It was due last week.

3 weekends in N.Y. billed to Pa. taxpayers [Inquirer]
Bookworm turns over new leaf; tab is down to $3,200 [Inquirer]
Mark Cohen...charging vacation to taxpayers [Phillyblog]

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February 15, 2007

Philadelphia Will Do Goes To The Dogs

As you may know, I have a thing for puppies. This extends to dogs as well, and so the Westminster Kennel Club dog show is always a favorite of mine. Cute dogs, Bill Cosby, predictions of doom and so forth.

I wasn't able to attend Westminster due to laziness issues, but Philadelphia Will Do Bucks County correspondent Christina Palsky was there, and filed the excellent report after the jump.

Continue reading "Philadelphia Will Do Goes To The Dogs"

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February 14, 2007

Next On Fox: Steve Keeley Damages Thousands Of Dollars Worth Of Camera Equipment

As already noted by everybody ever, whenever it snows outside, our local newspersons decide to go on a rampage, ignoring all rational thought in favor of reporting just now look snow ice sleet freezing rain Wintry Mix™ ohmigod how are we ever going to get to work tomorrow close down the entire city immediately and so forth.

This snow -- or, really, any weather -- rampage leads to some amusing moments on the local news. And today on Fox 5 in New York, the Good Day New York anchors threw it down to Steve Keeley on Good Day Philadelphia. (If you don't know who Keeley is, he's the anchor whose photo makes it look like he's going to eat your soul.)

I'll let NYC blog Gothamist explain what happened:

This morning’s Good Day New York on Fox 5 yielded another comedy incident during a live shot from reporter from sister station WTXF Steve Keely. Keely, reporting from somewhere in Philadelphia, turned on a snow blower which hit the cameraman and camera square in the lens. We can only assume that given the cost of camera equipment and the obvious safety issues that this was unintentional. Then again, we don’t know if this is part of his normal shtick down there.

Nope, the only schtick we have down here is dancing mascots.

Television Watching: Some Humor Among the Flakes [Gothamist]
Steve Keeley [MyFox Philly]

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December 21, 2006

Giants Fans Sore Losers, To Boot

All year, Giants fans -- everywhere from Penn to in the New York Times -- have been telling we Philadelphia fans how childish, violent and stupid we are. Giants fans, of course, are suit-clad ex-presidents like the guy above.

Well, I may need to retire this photo, because here's what the son of the late owner of the Giants did after Sunday's loss to the Eagles:

Veteran floor trader Bob Tomasulo, a 57-year-old grandfather, was assaulted and barraged with obscenities in front of stunned co-workers after kidding with Stephen Mara about the Giants' embarrassing 36-22 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, witnesses and Tomasulo told The Post.

"Mara started screaming, 'I'm gonna fucking kill you! Don't fuck around with my family! Don't insult my family!' " one broker said.

"Bob was like, 'Hey, what is your problem? It's just a game!' And Mara yells, 'No, it's not just a game, it's my fucking family!' "

"[Yesterday] morning, I just did that stupid little jump shot, and I said, 'Maybe you have a basketball team instead of a football team.'

"[Mara] just snapped. He charged me like an animal. He charged me like he wanted to sack me.

"At first, he got me in a bear hug and bent me over a trading post. At first, I thought it was a joke. Then he proceeded to choke me. I passed out for a minute."

I won't be like Giants fans and say this is characteristic of fans of their team. It's not. It's characteristic of people from North Jersey.

Giants' Revenge On Brawl Street [NY Post]
Sept. 26: Giants Fans Continue To Prove They're Stupidest In Nation
Oct. 2: Giants Fan Can't Take A Little Punch To The Face

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November 30, 2006

Continental: The Hotel To Open In NYC?

As you may remember, earlier this year Stephen Starr became yet another Philadelphian to try New York City, opening Morimoto and Buddakhan up in the original five boroughs.

In an interview in the current issue of New York magazine, Starr explains his newest idea for New York: a hotel.

What’s next for you in New York?

We’d like to do one of the Philly restaurants here, Jones or Continental. I’m also thinking of opening a small hotel in New York. I used to just want to do it in Philadelphia, but the more I’m here the more I feel confident I could do one here.

Stephen, how could you? You're supposed to do your cool things in Philly first (for much cheaper, might I add!) and then move them to New York or Atlantic City or wherever you're planning on going next.

Come on, open a hotel near the Convention Center or something. We have hotels here in Philadelphia that were built on top of parking garages. And that hip Aloft hotel is going near the airport instead of in, oh, a good location.

As The Illadelph wrote, "You need to open a boutique hotel in Philadelphia. And you need to do it soon.... Philadelphia wants a fucking original. An independent. Be the man. Think the James, but even a little more urban. You’ll own the market." I can't help but agree.

Time's yours, Stephen.

Mr. Big Box [NY Mag]
Breaking: Stephen Starr’s hotel dreams resurface [The Illadelph]
Jan. 25: Morimoto, Buddakan latest Philly expats

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June 22, 2006

Philly To Attract Hippest, Phattest Residents

It took a few days, but a New York paper has localized the New York ad students 'Move to Philly' campaign. It shows up in Metro NY (natch), the younger brother of our city's free daily. (The article doesn't mention that the people behind movetophilly.com say they weren't asked if their website could be used, but not all of the students used it. One used philly.com, actually.)

The Metro article references Jessica Pressler's New York Times "Sixth Borough" article (always a requirement), then talks with Jeff Guaracino of the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation, who says his group's working on its own ads, thank you very much:

Jeff Guaracino, a spokesman from the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation, said, “There’s this buzz going on right now.” His agency was awarded $5 million to launch its own non-traditional marketing campaign — perhaps using ringtones or bloggers — this summer to attract 25 to 35 years olds.

“The campaign is still being developed,” Guaracino said. “It’s not just going to be edgy, like the work of those students. It’s going to be hip and phat. We have black, white, Latino, gay, straight, 20-somethings, 50-somethings, working on this.”

I can't wait to blog about that hip new Philadelphia ringtone.

Ads tell artists life is better down in Philly [Metro NY]
Developing: Move To Philly Versus Move To Philly [Philebrity]
MovetoPhilly.com
Tuesday: Philly Is Cheaper Than New York, And Other Factoids You Already Know

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June 19, 2006

Philly Is Cheaper Than New York, And Other Factoids You Already Know

A story in today's Daily News reports on a group of New York City advertising students who had a somewhat challenging school project. Their goal? Convince people to move to Philadelphia.

Catherine Lucey spares us any Sixth Borough references in her article, which also details a presentation the students (from Adhouse Advertising School) gave to Steven Grasse, who heads up the Philly-based Gyro Worldwide Advertising. (Grasse money quote: "New York's full of shit and it's phony." Take that, Ethan Hawke!)

The mini-campaigns -- Look! The DN put something online for once! -- are pretty solid, though they do seem to only say, "Philly is cheap!" or "Philly is cheap and Ethan Hawke sucks!" The Greater Philadelphia Tourism and Marketing Corp. is also planning a "buzz-building" (sigh) move-to-Philly campaign later this summer.

Still. We already have enough assholes in this town. (Insert your own Joe Vento joke here.) Do we really need a bunch more annoying people in our bars? Dirty Frank's* is crowded enough.

The ads are great looking, though, and some of them are incredibly clever. (The weird escort-style ad is the only real baffling one.) But doesn't everyone already know Philadelphia is cheaper than New York City? And don't they mostly still live in New York anyway?

Enough questions. Now pass me a $3 Brooklyn Lager.

Edgy ads that could lure New Yorkers [DN]
Move to Philly Image Gallery [DN]

* This example used just to point out that Dirty Frank's got a shoutout on a particularly awful episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on Fox last night.

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June 09, 2006

'Daily News' Cover Needs Some Work

That's not bad, guys. The graphic's a little crowded, but it's alright, and it really is a big sports weekend -- the NBA finals, the NHL finals, the Fightins, maybe the Hopkins fight if we're at a bar or something and the freakin' World Cup! (Oh, and the bike race.) But, c'mon, you're the tabloid paper, aren't you supposed to embarass our city or something?

Yeah, something like that. That'd be perfect. C'mon guys, pick it up!

‘Post’ Puts Comics on Front Page [Gawker]

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June 05, 2006

Leftovers: In My Day, Halfballs Cost A Nickel

• Hey, oldies! Remember halfball? No? Oh, wait, no, of course not. Well, to jog your memory, there's a documentary being made about that, kick the can, jump rope, hopscotch and all those other games that we kiddies can't believe actually existed. Photo by Kristin Wolak. [South Philly Review]

• The statue-inspiring film star himself, Sly Stallone, had his 60th birthday bash over the weekend. Sly would watch that halfball documentary and still have no idea what halfball is. (Rimshot.) [AP/Yahoo!]

• Could Johnny Brenda's be replacing Johnny Goodtimes as the one and only savior of Metro? Time will only tell. [Foobooz]

• Sorry for being behind on the possible Philadelphia ban on foie gras proposed by Myspace City Councilman Jack Kelly. Here's a big ol' recap. [Politics Philly]

• If you're wondering which senators and representatives are in favor of the anti-gay marriage amendment to the Constitution, here's a helpful list. [AMERICAblog]

• Speedier cheap rail to New York City is possibly coming! Of course, by "cheap" they mean "still expensive, but not quite as bad as Amtrak or a plane." [Inky]

• And, finally, America must not want the world to get too into our own brand of football, as we've sent Ivy Leaguers to Japan to them how it's done. Actually, Ivy football is lots o'offense, not much defense, so this might work. [KYW 1060]

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April 03, 2006

Quickies: Sixers Reach .750 Winning Percentage... Against Knicks

• The 76ers beat the Knicks for the second straight game, this time by 19 points. In order to win back fans, the Sixers have started a new marketing slogan: "The 76ers: If we only played the Knicks every game, we'd have 50 wins!" [Daily News]

• You lose, Philly. Macedonia has 95 percent of its terrain wireless, unless this is an April Fool's Day prank and I didn't notice. And the kids have free Internet access. In Macedonia. And Philly is just going to be one big Earthlink network. I see. [Financial Times via Blinq]

• New York City has joined Pennsylvania in tax-free shopping on clothes, except theirs has a provision that it's only when it's $110 or less. We Pennsylvanians can buy Diesel jeans without having to pay tax muah ha ha ha! Or maybe we do. I've never bought a non-used pair. (Ew.) [Gawker]

• A cargo plane crashed at Dover Air Force base, and it's omigod-like-effing-sawed-in-half but it appears nobody was seriously hurt. Some good news to end this dreary -- weather-wise -- morning. [AP/Philly.com]

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March 28, 2006

Commish Hops On The 'Sixth Borough' Bandwagon

Scanned in from a Jessica Griffin photo in today's Daily News, Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson:

Well, how else do you explain the Enyce -- pronounced 'N-Y-C' -- sweatshirt at yesterday's marijuana bust? Pretty soon he'll be telling us this is where all the hip artists are living now.

$11.6M bust is pot luck [DN]

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March 24, 2006

Quickies: Here, Kitty, Kitty

• I'd like to give a special thanks today to Sopranos creator David Chase, who indirectly got the word "pussy" into a Daily News headline today. [DN]

• Soon-to-be-leaving political reporter Dick Polman weighs in on how Democratic Iraq war vets are doing in congressional races, and the verdict is: Not so well -- especially considering the one who lost her legs just barely won. [Dick Polman's American Debate]

• That sound you just heard was Gonzaga not scoring, again. Oh, and my pool officially going kaput now that Duke is out. But I hate Duke, so I'm okay with it. [Salon]

• New York throws down the gauntlet in the wacky politician contest: A state senator from Queens is accused of throwing hot coffee in an aide's face. Your move, Johnny Doc. [New York Times via Gawker]

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March 22, 2006

Quickies: Whiz kids

• You know how the Comcast Center is going to be a "green" building with urinals that don't use water but aren't disgusting? Yeah, that'd be so cool! Being Philadelphia, the plumbers' union is crying that they're not going to get enough money from installing these toilets as they would regular ones. Waaaaaah! There's really not much more I can add to this fantastic Daily News editorial, although I don't think they were harsh enough. [DN]

• The New York subway system is getting messageboard signs that say when the next train is coming. They're already in London, Paris and Washington. Philadelphia should have them in about 2156. [AP/Yahoo!]

• Delaware hired a new basketball coach Tuesday, then rescinded the offer due to the coach's 2004 DUI. Which he had been forthcoming and honest about during interviews. This is officially your WTF moment of the day. [Wilmington News Journal]

• Rick Mariano resigned from two City Council posts yesterday, but he'll still keep receiving that $102,000 paycheck until he's sentenced. Oh, whatever. [DN]

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