June 30, 2008

I Apparently Hate A Lot Of Music

Kerri-Lee's blog has a post with a list of a few people's most hated songs of all time. Most of the selections were pretty obvious (sorry, guys), so I decided to go at it and write my most hated songs.

Somehow, it turned into a list of my most hated bands. It also turned into a ridiculous rant against pretty much every artist in the world -- and I left a ton of bands I hate out. Here it is reproduced (with at least one typo corrected!) for your enjoyment.

Anything by Aerosmith, but especially their ballads ("I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" is the prime example). Bonus hate points for Steven Tyler for looking older than Mick Jagger. Hey, the poor man's Rolling Stones are even less attractive than the original!

Anything by Billy Joel. A Joel song is okay and kinda catchy the first time you hear it. The second or third time, it starts to wear on you. By the 10th time you hear it, you're ready to invent a time machine to go back in time and prevent Billy Joel from ever writing "Still Rock and Roll To Me."

Any of the awful way-too-long classic rock songs -- "Stairway to Heaven" (it suffers from being overplayed, and is not one of Zep's stronger songs to boot), "American Pie" (anything by the Big Bopper, incidentally), "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" (where do I start?), "Layla" (see: Stairway to Heaven), "Freebird" (and "Sweet Home Alabama," too). A special on-its-own mention for "Another Brick in the Wall" by sacred cows Pink Floyd, a bunch of ultra-talented musicians who got together to make awful, awful music. "Hey Jude" just narrowly misses the list.

Continue reading "I Apparently Hate A Lot Of Music"

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May 29, 2008

Only Apply If You're METAL Enough

Major local media outlet is looking for freelance music journalists who specialize in METAL.

You must be passionate about METAL and have an extensive knowledge of the local METAL scene, relevant bands, releases, and history.

Your Craigslist ad of the day, people. METAL. Thanks, Emily G.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:48 AM | Comments (1)

August 29, 2007

We Talkin' 'Bout Stoppin' The Violence, Here

Okay, so a couple of musicians are making a "stop the violence" CD. Whatever. Good, actually. But, uh:

They don't need to practice because they've been living everything they sing, they said.

Yeah. I think it might be better if you practiced. Unless, of course, you're Allen Iverson.

Local Musicians Cut Anti-Violence Song, Video [NBC 10]

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May 10, 2007

It Begins: Kevin Michael Virus Begins To Spread From Phil! A! Del! Phia! To Rest Of Country

The song's free on iTunes if you want it.

May 1: Phillycars.com Spokesman New Gnarls Barkley

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May 01, 2007

Phillycars.com Spokesman New Gnarls Barkley

Hey, remember Kevin from Phillycars.com? Yeah, you remember him. He sang the "Phil! A! Del! Phia! That's where I come from!" song on the ad for Brian Tierney's car site back in December and early this year. (It's at right if you, like, weren't watching the Rose Bowl or something.)

Well, Kevin Michael, the star of that Phillycars.com ad, is back. But he's not just back. He's going to be the next great superstar. You heard me right. The kid from the Phillycars.com ad is on Downtown Records, the label that broke Gnarls Barkley -- aka "Crazy," aka the song that was ubiquitous last summer -- in a project they've dubbed "The Kevin Michael Project." (His real name is Kevin Michael Seward.) The article reads like some sort of joke piece. Honestly.

Jessica Pressler writes in this month's Phillymag about said Kevin Michael project, and, um, oh my God. My brain exploded about 15 times reading this article. The whole idea is to make Kevin "Phil! A! Del! Phia!" Michael a brand and so he can become a big superstar on the level of Michael Jackson or Beyonce or something.

I can't even really explain the entire article -- I'm still reassembling pieces of my brain right now -- but there's so much here I can excerpt some things in charticle format.

• Kevin Michael on how he can branch out after becoming a big star: "I'm really focusing on branding myself right now. There's so much to do. You can act, model, start fashion lines, sell things on QVC. The possibilities are endless." Pressler: "[S]urely Prince never spoke of QVC?"
• His father is Henry Seward, but goes by the name Ric Star. He's had some run-ins with the law -- "Not like killing anyone or armed robbery or anything like that" -- and has been Michael's manager since Michael was little and singing backup for Star's own band after sneaking into clubs.
• Michael compares his father to the father of the King of Pop: "It was like Joe Jackson without the beating."

Continue reading "Phillycars.com Spokesman New Gnarls Barkley"

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March 20, 2007

Fall Out Boy Cribbed From 99 Percent Of Local Bands

The Daily News' Dan Gross reports today on the band the kids tell me is hip and popular today, Fall Out Boy. Apparently, local artist Nicholas Hans is thinking of suing the band for stealing his idea.

This is the second alleged Fall Out Boy-related thievery in weeks, as Gross reported earlier this month the band had reached an out-of-court settlement with Wesley Eisold, who the band lists as co-writing several songs on Infinity on High. The band apparently took lyrics from songs written by Eisold and performed by his old band, American Nightmare, on its previous album.

And what did they allegedly crib from Hans? Well, in 2001 Hans' band Knives Out toured and sold a shirt with a drawing of a wrist with a ribbon on it that says "Do not open until Christmas." The lyric "The ribbon on my wrist says, 'Do not open before Christmas,'" is on a 2005 Fall Out Boy album.

Hans says the band "100 percent ripped us off." Nicholas Hans is also planning action against Radiohead, for its song "Knives Out" on 2001's Amnesiac, NBC for unauthorized use of the characters Hans and Franz and Santa Claus for stealing that whole "St. Nicolas" thing.

Dan Gross | Fall Out Boy is in his sights [Daily News]

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February 20, 2007

Piano-Playing Kitty Wows YouTubers, Journalists

When the Inquirer laid off workers last year, many wondered if the paper would still have the resources to cover the stories that you, Joe Average Reader, need to know about the area.

The answer, of course, is a resounding yes. Today's Inquirer contains a (freelance) column about Nora, the Philadelphia cat who plays the piano. The kitty has been viewed more than 600,000 times in three weeks, has spawned countless imitators and has "received 21 YouTube honors, including February's third-most-viewed pets and animals video."

And, uh, she's a prodigy or something:

"She really has the personality of a great composer," Alexander said of Nora. "Maybe she's Beethoven. She puts her ear towards the piano, doesn't get along with the other cats, and definitely likes to be in the spotlight."

Don't believe the hype? See for yourself.

Fortunately, the local TV stations have smelled soft news and -- like a shark going for blood -- have moved into the water, as I've already seen promos for a story on Nora on at least one local TV station so far.

Yep. Covering the city, indeed.

Piano-playing cat is YouTube star [Inquirer]

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December 22, 2006

Horrible Chain Store Promises First Good Location

Just about a two and a half months after the company's sale and liquidation were announced, the Tower Records on South Street closed yesterday after seven years.

Inquirer music critic Dan DeLuca writes about the factors in music store closings: MP3s, big chains like Target and Best Buy pricing new releases at $10, etc. Some small stores -- a.k.a. music on Seconds Street -- are still doing well, kind of serving up CDs and a "culture" that possibly makes you feel cool when you go inside. (DeLuca references High Fidelity, which sounds about right.)

He also lets us know just what's going in the old Tower Records location on Broad Street, which did some of the company's best business.

f.y.e. spokesman John Sullivan said this week that Trans World had bought the lease of the Tower store on Broad Street, and plans to open a store as early as February. He said this store - the chain's area flagship - would be more music-centric than most, with "a good classical selection" to rival Tower's.

A good f.y.e.? I'll believe it when I see it.

Digital era sounds death knell for some, not all, retailers [Inquirer]

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December 14, 2006

Kids Nowadays Can't Even Get Their Stupid Psychopathic References Correct

After Tuesday's tragic suicide of a student at Springfield (Montco) High School, two students from other Montgomery County schools had a bright idea yesterday: Hey, how about we threaten to blow up our school!

The two schools in question are Soudertown High and Springford High. Soudertown was locked down after someone found a note referencing Columbine and Tuesday's incident. Springford officials discovered a bomb threat in the bathroom, but Limerick Township police say a 16-year-old junior has confessed to writing the note.

In addition to being, uh, stupid, it's also incorrect. Tuesday's event was a suicide, not a school shooting. The correct reference here is not Columbine, but Pearl Jam's "Jeremy." (Or, if you want, the newspaper article that inspired the song. Thanks, Wikipedia!)

I know the kiddies aren't quite into the Pearl Jam these days, but, c'mon, do a little research people. You don't want to look even stupider.

Two Montco Schools Receive Threats [KYW 1060]
Tuesday: Student Shoots Self At Montco H.S., School District Posts Note On Website And Moves On

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October 17, 2006

Leftovers: 'Bulletin' Declares War On Priest Jokes

• In today's Evening Bulletin, the following letter from publisher Tom Rice appears:

Last Thursday, this newspaper ran an editorial cartoon which was deeply offensive to Catholics and especially Catholic clergy and their supporters. This cartoon ran without my knowledge or consent. Nevertheless, as publisher of The Evening Bulletin, I accept ultimate responsibility for this offense to the community and offer my sincere apology. I am ashamed that this cartoon so offended good people I respect and admire. I will do everything necessary to ensure that nothing like this occurs again."

What was the offending cartoon? This syndicated one from the Mike Shelton of the Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.) that was published there on Oct. 4. You can read it by clicking this link or the thumbnail above. It's a priest-boy molestation joke (really fresh, Mike) that is offensive because no priests have ever molested any boys.

• Dan Gross reports that local band Capitol Risk will be filming a video at The M Room for a contest sponsored by Ellio's Pizza. In the old music world, you had to tour for a while, maybe self-release an album or two and hope that somehow, your music found its way into the right hands and was good enough to get you a deal. Now, you just need to win a contest sponsored by a company that makes toaster oven pizza. [Daily News, last item]

• A review of all the greatest hits compilations coming out for Christmas. You'll be happy to know that Roxette, T.A.T.U., Staind P.O.D. and Jamiroquai are releasing their "hits" this Christmas. [Your Band Sucks]

• In light of Tower's closing, Jonathan Takiff writes about the future of the music industry, with a bonus photo of one of those guys holding a sign informing you of the store's impending closure. [Daily News]

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August 25, 2006

BYO Bartender

Badminton Stamps points us to the tour diary of Early Man, who apparently didn't have the best last call at North Star:

Philly: Why did I get yelled at by the entire staff of the Northstar bar at the end of the night? Because when the place was closing and all the bartenders left I took it upon myself to tend bar. Look man, if all you have to do is pull a giant unattended lever that says 'Stella Artois' on it to keep the party alive for you and 5 of your friends consider it done.

I do not want to know what Early Man does at the hospital.

Rage, Rage Against The Closing Of The Bar! [Badminton Stamps]

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August 21, 2006

I Liked Him When He Was Underground

Just wait 'til you hear his cover of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie."

New CD Highlights Music of Ben Franklin [KYW 1060]

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July 31, 2006

Down The Shore: Wildwood Finally Hits 1995

Headline in last week's Press of Atlantic City shore guide:

Don't laugh; this actually makes sense. Wildwood just stopped playing "Rhythm is a Dancer" last summer. Getting to Live was a logical next step.

Live brings new era of uplifting rock to Wildwood [Press of AC]

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July 17, 2006

Leftovers: Medicine... man?

• This is stupid, even for this site, but it's making me giggle, so you have to suffer, too. From the Scranton Times-Tribune: "Matthew A. Quinn, a 1999 Scranton Preparatory School graduate, received his juris doctorate degree from the University of Pennsylvania School of Law and a certificate of study in business and public policy from the Wharton School at commencement ceremonies in Philadelphia on May 15. ¶ Dr. Quinn received a bachelor of arts degree with distinction in political science from Pennsylvania State University, where he was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa." Tee hee. [The Times-Tribune]

• Every day, Craigslist makes us feel better and worse about humanity, all in one instant. It's like Las Vegas! For example, this post from Missed Connections: "I was walking down girard at 3am trying to get home when these three black guys drove by in an impala (the new lame ones) and started sexually harrassing to me. One of them tryed to grabe me and I ran but then all three got out and grabed me, ripping my shirt vehemently. ¶ Then this little indie rock guy boy came out of nowhere. snaps were exchanged and he challenged them to a rap battel-which he won! (his flow was off but his rhymes were fresh and those black guys couldn't rap at all which was uncanny because I thought all black guys could drop mad lyrics on command)." [Craigslist]

• Since we're just quoting, quoting, quoting, let's continue. Australia is now using Barry Manilow music to try to chase away car enthusiasts. The deputy mayor says: "We have tried to reduce the sound and we are reviewing the songs. I don't mind Marry Manilow, but I'm more of an ABBA and Celine Dion fan." Every word of that quote is kind of ridiculously awesome. [AP/CNN.com]

• Dan Gross reports today that Robert Esche doesn't want Mexicans in South Philly, either. (Well, pretty much.) Are there any athletes in this town who aren't tremendous assholes? [Daily News]

• Our violence level in Philly hit a new low today, as three people were killed in 21 minutes. [Inquirer]

• We're up to 97, people! Go, go, go! [AccuWeather]

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July 13, 2006

Blogicized: Snakes On A Video

• Snakes on a Plane: The Music Video. Amazing. [Badminton Stamps]

• MSNBC lists Top 10 Least Politically Correct Movies Ever, fails to note Birth of a Nation (or, for that matter, any porn ever). Then again, it was probably done by a 13-year-old intern. (Note: Previous inaccurate line taken out.) [A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago]

• Rick Santorum is helping the mayor of Hazelton, the town that just declared war on illegal immigrants? What a shocker! [All Spin Zone]

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July 12, 2006

This Makes Us Want To Vote For Pedro

I tried to cut this down to the few seconds that best explains this segment on 10! yesterday, but I really couldn't. So here's a five-minute clip of Efren Ramirez (Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite) DJing for the crowd, consisting mainly of old white women.

If you don't have the time, just let it load and scroll to the end to catch Bill Henley raising the roof.

Update, 1:04 p.m.: Oh, yeah. Ramirez is in town because he's introducing Ashlee Simpson at her concert tonight. But of course.

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June 14, 2006

Blogicized: Comcast Puts Hotels On Citizens Bank Park, Wachovia Center

• 'XPN says we upload, you decide: Is that ubiquitous Chili Peppers song the same as that one-ubiquitous Tom Petty song? [WXPN Blog]

• Could you one day watch Phillies games on DirecTV? Ha. That's a good one. [Civil Defense]

• Hey, Play, the newest suburban alt-weekly, has launched! And the mag's top BYOB serves alcohol! [Foobooz]

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May 23, 2006

Leftovers: Welcome, Our New PR Overlord!

• We're hearing.... that the Brian Tierney/Bruce Toll/etc. bid to buy the Inquirer and Daily News has gone through, and there's a press conference at the Inquirer Building at 5 p.m. to officially announce the sale. Staff meeting to follow at 6, but you probably need some sort of special badge or ring or "job" to get in to that one. Update: Here's a press release. [Yahoo!/McClatchy]

• As mentioned earlier, Dubya himself will be here tomorrow, helping out the campaigns of Jim Gerlach and Mike Fitzpatrick. Tickets are a thousand bucks, so, uh, start saving. [AP/Philly.com]

• Philly businesses got a pep talk today; "You, too, can get the Olympics... if you work together." Philadelphia promptly ended its bid for the 2016 Olympics. [Inquirer]

• Nick Lachey to The Trentonian: Stay away from me! Trentonian to Nick Lachey: "Popfest headliner Nick Lachey snubbed efforts to talk to him yesterday for a pre-concert interview -- that’s despite being splashed across the front of The Trentonian’s GO section last Thursday." Oh my God, the GO section? That jerk! [Trentonian]

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May 02, 2006

Quickies: Special Council Elections?

• Committee of 70 head Zack Stalberg calls for special elections to fill the two empty City Council seats. And, if there are special elections, ward leaders get to pick the candidates. As opposed to in a regular election, where... uhh, well, okay. How about we just pocket the cash and keep council down two people for a little while? [KYW 1060]

• The Jonathan Fell House in Doylestown sold for just under a cool million, with this treat: George Washington slept here once! Well, maybe. Either there, or outside in a tent. Normally, it'd be pretty obvious which one he chose, but this was the original G-Dub. The man had wooden teeth. (Okay, not really.) [Inky]

• Bucks County man really, really hates when someone writes "BUSH" on a stop sign. His letter to a sticker company: "I've lived here 65 years, and until the liberal white trash like you folks showed up, no one made the area look like 'Philthadelphia' and the other sorry sick areas, [destroying] the ambience and cleanliness with these stickers and graffiti." Uhh, dude? You live in Langhorne. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The co-founder of a company says that you could reduce crime if you aborted all black babies, and that company loses its contract with the Phila. School District. Shocker! [Daily News]

• Jonathan Takiff sez: New Pearl Jam record is an A! Pitchfork remains silent, but they gave the band's 1998 record an 8.5. Who knew? [Daily News]

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April 26, 2006

Another Circus Coming To South Philly

Ringling Brothers isn't the only circus that's taking place at the sports complex in South Philly. On May 12-13, a Christian music rally called Battlecry will be at the Wachovia Spectrum.

Now, a Christian music rally is scary for two reasons: One, of course, is that it's Christian music. When you're trying to think of good Christian music and you're only coming up with a couple Christmas songs and that cool song we sung at my Confirmation, it's a pretty frightening event. (Although, of course, this is still a million times better than the circus.)

The group is run by a bunch of evangelical Christians who have the usual strange "War on Christians" fears, when in fact the entire country is pretty danged Christian -- see: "The War on Christmas" -- and they also (2) attack the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. So color me a little skeptical, although the motives behind the event are probably good and chaste.

Oh, and, uhh, it's called "Battle Cry." That's very Christian, I suppose.

Battlecry [via Can't Stop The Bleeding]
Stu Bykofsky | Wouldn't be a circus without elephants... would it? [DN]

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April 20, 2006

Born To Steal And Run

In case you haven't noticed, it seems like every other week now an indie band with a Myspace page has its equipment and/or van stolen in Philly.

Well the boys over at Badminton Stamps have noticed, and they're taking bets like they're Rick Tocchet.

Here's some of the odds and explanations:

4/23, Cold War Kids, 10-1: Hmm...a young left coast band playing at The Fire. Give these guys a van (and then steal it), and they're Film School.

4/27, Ghostface Killah, 25-1: Philly steps up its game, makes a trunk of those 24 karat dolls disappear from the TLA lot.

5/24, Film School, 7-2: Who says lightning can't strike twice? The ultimate hard-luck story gets mainstream coverage, briefly distracts the city from Phillies' 12-36 record.

6/11, Cat Power, 100-1: Those aren't the odds of a theft. They're the odds that the show doesn't get cancelled.

That's nice and all, but I think Philly's criminals are going to start looking bigger. They've feasted on the likes of Film School and Arab Strap. You know who's in town June 20? The Boss. And since Springsteen's playing in The Town That Law Forgot (Camden), something tells me the highway's going to be filled with broken heroes and a lot of stolen gear.

Rosie Thomas' Equipment Stolen In Philly [Her Jazz]
Hail To The Thief [Badminton Stamps]
Archives: Rick Tocchet

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April 18, 2006

Blogicized: Flyers Are Boiling Hot

• Who better to record an song for the Philadelphia Flyers than a band called The Boils? Apparently, The Missing Teeth were all booked. [The 700 Level]

• Leave your records at home kiddies, as now you can listen to what all the hipsters are listening to every week, courtesy of Joey Sweeney. [Philebrity]

• John Dougherty loves him some Phillymag, and he's currently reading Michael Smerconish's new book. Was that sound just his mayoral chances taking a hit? [The Gospel According To Wook]

• What this city needs is some sort of newsletter than can let us know just where to shop and eat and everything else. I just don't know what to do without an email newsletter! Where could we possibly get one? [Daily Candy]

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April 17, 2006

Quickies: Holler If You Hear Me

• Quite frankly, I blame Stephen A. Smith for the constant "quite frankly" cliché showing up in every other article nowadays. Which is odd, since nobody watches Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith. [The Gelflog]

• Concert Rumor: Radiohead will be playing the Tower in Upper Darby on June 1 & 2. [Green Plastic Radiohead]

• Somehow the Daily News printed a Northeast Times letter saying that every hip hop "video shows the rapper treating women like animals and that, if you deal drugs, you can be rich, just like me." [DN, 3rd letter]

• While searching how to spell her name correctly this morning, I came across the Dorothy Krysiuk Yahoo! Fan Club, which has 230 members. Where's the Erin O'Hearn Fan Club? [Yahoo! Groups]

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April 07, 2006

Quickies: She Blinded Me With Science

• Will Bunch gets a call from a PR person for Wal-Mart and decides to write an anti-Wal-Mart post in response, with bonus Googlebombing attempts! [Attytood]

• In very, very important news: Thomas Dolby will be on WYSP sometime after April 17. Details to follow! [Thomas Dolby's Blog]

• The Philadelphia Archdiocese has defrocked three priests. But, according to a quote in the grand jury report, the one isn't "a pure pedophile," since he also stole money from the church and slept with women. [Inky]

• And pitbulls went on a rampage in Southwest Philly. Dolby, pitbulls, Wal-Mart, defrocking... What a day! [NBC 10]

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April 06, 2006

Blogicized: Ricky On Myspace!

• Someone sets up a Rick Santorum page on Myspace, and it gets taken down when his campaign staff complains. Then they blame it on a "radical left-leaning organization," which means his campaign staff totally did it themselves. [The All Spin Zone]

• Congrats to Enrico Campitelli of The 700 Level, who was profiled in Metro today and then went to his blog to complain they used a bad photo. Yep, that's what Lynne Abraham says every day. [The 700 Level]

• Unfortunately, Terrell Owens' game against the Eagles on Christmas is in Dallas. But he comes to Philly Oct. 8! [Scrapple]

• Rep. Marie Lederer decided to do the opposed a nice fun upstairs music venue, and now the Johnny Brenda's upstairs music venue is no more (for now). Sigh. [Her Jazz]

• And, in case Ted's needs a new idea for a ad campaign, a local blogger has come up with a few ideas. [The 14th Windiest State]

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