March 05, 2008

Hillary Finally Wins A Primary State

Well! It appears Barack Obama's fat line of hope and change was cut with too much baking soda. Yesterday, Hillary Clinton won Texas and Ohio, ending her 44-state losing streak and somehow putting her right back in the race.

Barack Obama still leads the delegate count, but now Clinton is going to win the nomination and Obama is going to end up voting for 100 More Wars McCain. (He clinched up the GOP nomination nom yesterday.)

On the democratic side, though, everyone's still going to fight on, even Mike Gravel! (Gravel is now campaigning on his plan to make all laws be done by national vote. This would mean public school teachers would teach creationism and the incorrect solution to the Monty Hall problem while all gay people are in jail.)

Anyway, since Clinton, Obama and Gravel remain in the race, that means only six weeks to Pennsylvania! Oh, boy, I cannot wait 'til the television ads start and Michael Nutter is called the worst person ever for being a black dude supporting Hillary. Oh wait! I'm sure that second one has already happened.

In more important "winning" news, the Phillies have won the Braves' respect.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:15 AM | Comments (3)

February 11, 2008

Mermen For Mike Gravel

Now that Hillary and Barack are close enough in delegates that the election will be decided in a back-room deal or something else equally awesome, it's (naturally) time to start pretending that your vote counts. As you may know, Pennsylvania's April 22 primary could be an important one; people will be urging you to vote because your vote could determine who becomes president of the United States.

You can feel free to believe that, but probably not if you're handicapped. About two months before the primary, 200 of Philadelphia's polling places are still not ADA-compliant; there doesn't seem to be much hope that they will be fixed by election time. Of course, the non-compliant locations might be acceptable places to vote for some -- they might just not have a parking spot for a handicapped van, for example. Plus, look how hard it is to fix these problems!

"One of the moves was to move a polling place from the 38th ward to the 52nd ward, which meant you'd have had to walk through Fairmount Park, go down across Kelly Drive, swim the Schuylkill, cross the Schuylkill expressway. So that's the difficulty that we've been having."

Oh, I see. That makes sense, then; we really don't want to have to make people swim across the river in order to vote.

Phila. Officials Work to Make Polling Places ADA Compliant [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 30, 2007

Finally, A Presidential Candidate For The Rest Of Us

Democratic candidate Mike Gravel, you have my vote. If I were a Democrat. And the Pennsylvania primary mattered. But, uh, yeah.

I'm Voting For Mike Gravel Now [Wonkette]

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October 31, 2007

Mike Gravel Wins Shadow Debate

I was all excited for the Democratic Presidential Debate at Drexel last night because we'd get to see the wacky antics of Mike Gravel, the former Alaskan senator (he left the Senate in 1981) who is totally awesome and makes fun of all the other candidates.

Unfortunately, Gravel was banned from the debate because he's polling somewhere south of negative 18 percent. A supporter offered MSNBC $1 million to add Gravel to the debate, knowing he'd never have to pay it. Oddly enough, you'd think NBC would be itching for any income it could get.

So Gravel held his own debate at World Cafe Live by himself and won it, too. His communications director said if Gravel is kicked out, so should two other losers.

"Mike Gravel is tied with Joe Biden and Chris Dodd in some polls and is higher in others," David Eisenback said. "If it excludes Gravel, it should also exclude Senators Biden and Dodd."

Meanwhile, Chris Dodd wants to put us on the road to legal weed, just like Gravel and Kucinich. Dennis Kucinich is suddenly a serious candidate; that's totally awesome. Well, the serious candidate who sees UFOs.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:35 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)