May 25, 2007

Rendell: Without New SEPTA Funding, We Will Have Flooding For 27 Days And 27 Nights

SEPTA met yesterday to pass a budget, and Ed Rendell decided he needed to quote Lord of the Rings to show how serious this is:

"A day may come when the courage of men fails!" Rendell's Aragorn told a startled-looking SEPTA board of directors. "But it is not this day! This day, we fight!"

Later, Rendell went even further back in written history by quoting the Bible, although he got the number of apostles confused with the number of pieces of silver Judas betrayed Jesus for:

"Don't let them buy you off for 12 pieces of silver!" Rendell said, abandoning "Lord of the Rings" for his own interpretation of Judas' betrayal price, which was actually 30 pieces of silver.

"Dig your heels in!" Rendell exclaimed. "Hold your ground!"

I'm a little unclear as to who, exactly, is betraying whom here, but one can only assume this will culminate in the crucifixion of someone or something, most likely SEPTA. Transfers? Who needs transfers?

Guv urges SEPTA board: 'Don't settle!' [Daily News]

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October 24, 2006

Santorum Losing The YouTube Race, Too

That's Stephen Colbert, of course, making fun of Rick Santorum's comparison of the War in Iraq to Lord of the Rings. The best part of it, though, is that this version was uploaded by Bob Casey's campaign.

But of course.

Colbert Comments On Santorum and Lord of the Rings [YouTube via Bob Casey for U.S. Senate]

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October 18, 2006

Santorum Looking To Nab Crucial Nerd Vote

With the chances that he's going to win November 7's election apparently dwindling, Sen. Rick Santorum has decided to pull out all the stops.

What is our state's junior senator doing? Why, he's comparing the War in Iraq to Lord of the Rings, of course!

Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has been drawn to Iraq instead.

Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien's 1950s fantasy classic “Lord of the Rings,” to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.

“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

“It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.,” Santorum continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

In addition to the absolutely WTF-ness of the comparison, I'm not quite sure I get it. Who's the Eye of Mordor? The terrorists? If we assume the hobbits represent the United States, then where's Mount Doom?

I'm not sure I follow. I guess the terrorists (the Eye of Mordor) are blowing up buildings in Iraq (Whereever the Eye of Mordor is looking at) while the hobbits (the United States) are slowly climbing up Mount Doom (probably Iraq or North Korea or Canada or whereever our next war is).

As for our other current war, Santorum would like to win it, but the Taliban just isn't cooperating:

“You know, what we have is a lousy enemy,” Santorum said about the Taliban resurgence in Afghanistan.

Yeah, why can't you greet us as liberators, like those people in Iraq! Er.

Update: He didn't even fucking get it right! It's the Eye of Sauron! Nerd power!

Santorum defends Iraq war [Bucks County Courier Times]

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