Lil’ Kim Leaves Philly, Gets Disgusting Parting Shot From ‘Daily News’

As Dan Gross prophesized, Lil’ Kim was released from prison on Monday morning. Our city’s most famous resident for 10 months, Lil’ Kim got out of prison a few months early for good behavior. And, heck, in a statement released upon her release, she even thanked the staff of the federal detention center.

She’s under house arrest until Aug. 2, which led to this last paragraph in Gross’ item about Kim today:

No word on whether, since her release, Kim has been hit by “The Magic Stick” she famously and raunchily rapped about, but after 10 months in prison we’d imagine it’s pretty high on the to-do list of the sex-loving songstress.

Oh, did I write disgusting in the headline? I meant to write awesome.

Dan Gross | Lil’ Kim ‘Rolls’ outta here in style [Daily News]
June 29: Lil’ Kim To End Philadelphia Tour Early

3rd Of July Link Dump: This May Be All You Get

• Late last week, Brian Tierney took questions online from readers. Aside from the usual stupidity — someone asking if Michael Smerconish could edit the Inquirer, a person wanting a gift shop/waiting room at 400 N. Broad that people could read the paper in, etc. — Tierney provides this comment in response to someone who reads Metro instead of the Daily News: I’ve always thought Metro was a little overpriced ;)” OMG LOL! [Philly.com]

• Despite an absolutely atrocious team, the Phillies have three All-Stars: Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Tom Gordon. And at the halfway point, the Phillies have a 37-44 record, their worst first half since 2002. It’s okay, though, the Phillies are set for the second half after trading for 5-foot-7, 175-pound F. Castro! Okay, it’s Fabio Castro, which is almost as funny as if the Phillies signed Fidel. [Inquirer, Phillies.com]

• Philadelphia loses its biggest celebrity: Lil’ Kim was released from prison this morning. Throngs of fans — and, assumedly, Dan Gross — greeted her today. Huzzah! [AP/Philly.com]

• Faye Flam’s Carnal Knowledge column celebrates its first year today with a quiz about sex. And the first question? “1. What does a male honeybee do after he finishes having sex with the queen?” I think I’ll stick to worrying about human sex, thanks. [Inquirer]

• A group of people ordered cheesesteaks at Geno’s the other day in Spanish, which means we’ve hit a tipping point: The (hardcore) protesters of Geno’s have finally gotten more annoying than Joe Vento himself. (Eh, maybe. Definitely not as annoying as Vento’s more vociferous supporters, though.) But, eh, we’re sure the big guy will find a way to tip that scale back to his side any day now. [Inquirer]

• A meeting of the minds! The Bucks County Courier Times‘ J.D. Mullane and Lyndon Larouche! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And, really, what would a day be without Irresistible Ella? She’s somehow reporting in front of a static fireworks display. [NBC 10]

Lil’ Kim To End Philadelphia Tour Early

In addition to reporting on taken-down blog postings, Dan Gross also scoops everyone on our little celebrity jailbird:

LIL’ KIM is scheduled to exit the Federal Detention Center on Monday morning, her attorney James J. Leonard Jr. confirmed yesterday.

The hip-hop diva, who reported to the facility on Sept. 20, is slated to walk out of the joint between 6 and 10 a.m., we’re told.

Kimberly Jones was locked up after being convicted of perjury for lying to protect a friend on trial over a shooting in New York.

Atlantic City-based Leonard says Kim will leave the facility for an undisclosed New Jersey location for processing, then begin serving a month’s house arrest at her North Jersey home.

Leonard says Kim has been a model prisoner and is humbled by the outpouring of support she’s received in letters from local fans and radio station shout-outs. A spokeswoman for the Federal Detention Center did not return a message we left yesterday.

Aww, see, Lil’ Kim does love our city after all! If NYC ever does anything to you, Kim, you know where to turn.

Dan Gross | Kim’s busting out [Daily News]
Archives: Lil’ Kim

On The Whole, Lil’ Kim Would Rather Not Be In Philadelphia

This is a day or two behind, but here’s the deal: According to the New York Daily News, Lil’ Kim may be leaving our fair city sooner than we thought.

Kim, who’s in the detention center at on Arch Street for perjury, entered prison on a year and a day last September. But she could be out as early as Juily 5, leaving Dan Gross with another free Daily News subscription to send to someone. No, it wasn’t Kim’s alleged mistreatment at the hands of Mayor Street that might get her out of her prison term early.

Turns out, she’s been a model prisoner during her time in prison — and good behavior is the traditional reward. Sez the NYDN: “[H]er attorneys hope she’ll be a free woman by July 5, if not before, and that they have been negotiating with corrections authorities, probation officers and others to see if they can spring this model prisoner early.”

So if anyone asks you anything about Lil’ Kim, say nice things. It could help her get back to important work, like trying to move some records so her album goes gold.

Trim for Lil’ Kim [New York Daily News via Spilled Inq]
Archives: Lil’ Kim

When Life Gives You A 366-Day Prison Term, Make Prison-ade!

Surely, you all know that Philadelphia is the land of the pseudo-celebrity, the famous-for-this-town, the Philebrity, if you will.

But right now, you may know, we have a real celebrity in our midsts, none other than hip hop star Lil’ Kim. (Er, shush. She’s bigger than Howard Eskin, right?) And although she may not be getting the best treatment in the federal pokey at 7th & Arch, she is in good spirits, according to XXL.

The hip hop mag scored an interview with Lil’ Kim for the April issue, and posted an excerpt of it online. And while the introduction to the interview makes things even worse for kim — “Naked Truth has yet to go gold. It’s sold a woeful 326,000 copies to date.” (Gasp!) — she said she’s holding up and the fellow prisoners are treating her well.

But, you know, it’s still effing prison, and so she needs things to keep her going. But there’s one little girl who’s been able to help her out. Says Kim:

My fan mail is what keeps me going. I got a letter from a 10-year-old girl, and she said, “Dear Lil’ Kim, I am so sad that you are in jail, and I pray for you every night. I started selling lemonade so that I can make money to bail you out of jail.” [Laughs] I tell you, I was in tears…. I will [remember] her for the rest of my life. And when I come out, I’m gon’ look for that little girl.

Wow. This is like the hip hop version of Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Lil’ Kim: It Has Been Said [XXL via Spilled Inq]
Archives: Lil’ Kim

Mistreatment for Lil’ Kim?

I can’t believe this got lost in the endless pile of faxes PW gets until after 4 o’clock yesterday (click to enlarge):

Yes, Lil’ Kim friends are holding a press conference as part of a promotion for her new show on BET to discuss the mistreatment of her in the federal prison in Center City Philadelphia. (I don’t know why she needs more promotion; her show was the highest rated in BET history.)

I called the contact but didn’t get an answer, unfortunately, since I missed the presser yesterday. But we can assume that Lil’ Kim is not being respected by Mayor John Street. I don’t know what our city’s mayor has to do with the federal prison she’s in at Seventh and Arch streets, but, hey, when you complain you gotta complain to someone.

Although I missed the press conference, I’ll just stay with this: Keep Lil’ Kim in your thoughts and prayers. If she’s not being respected in jail, she has it hard. And, of course, the real message of said presser: Her show’s on Thursdays at 9:30 on BET.

Lil’ Kim and Flavor Flav Make TV History [Pro Hip Hop]
Lil’ Kim: Countdown to Lockdown [BET.com]
March 9: Lil’ Kim Possible

Lil’ Kim Possible

Now that Lil’ Kim is locked up in the federal prison over on Arch Street, I kind of figured we were safe from hearing about her for a while.

Silly me. This is America. And so, earlier this week, there was a report that her breast implants could be leaking. This was a non-story of course, especially since Kim said they were fine, so it kind of makes you go, “Hmmm… why did this story come out right now?”

And, of course. Her show, Lil’ Kim: Countdown to Lockdown, premieres tonight. The BET reality show follows Lil’ Kim as she becomes Kimberly Jones, ready to enter into the pokey for her 366 day stay as Inmate No. 56198-054.

The Inquirer’s Rob Watson begins his review of Episode 1 — there are six in all — saying how he doesn’t want to become an angry old man, and promptly resorts to becoming an angry old man:

When the subject of the Junior Mafia comes up in the show, things get crazy. Lil’ Kim was once a member of the Junior Mafia, and JM members dimed her out in court.

All of a sudden, the language gets really bad. There are rapper Ja Rule and a host of other folks kickin’ it all gangsta: “N- this,” “F- that,” “Code of the streets is always not to open up your f- mouth,” “Stop the snitchin’.”

The Junior Mafia thing - well, that is something for Lil’ Cease and what’s left of the JM crew to deal with. But kids are going to be watching this tonight. You only had to read yesterday about the trial of the two men accused of killing Faheem Thomas-Childs to gauge the consequences of “stop the snitchin’.”

Whether the bad words are bleeped out or not, BET is providing yet another avenue for the messages to get through. In fact, the whole JM scene is followed by a girl who can’t be more than 10 or 11 saying she can’t believe her favorite rapper is going to jail. What will she think when she hears the “stop the snitchin’” warning?

Look, Mr. Watson may be right. Maybe the show is bad for kids and sets a bad example and maybe Lil’ Kim is responsible for every murder that goes unsolved. But I can only think of two things when reading these paragraphs: (1) The Inky only needs to bring out this article (and others like it) to answer the question of why younger readers don’t read newspapers and (2) “Get off my lawn!”

Lil’ Kim’s path to pokey [Inky]
Call it a Lil’ Kim news leak [DN]
Photo via Gawker