July 14, 2008

Letter Writer: Teens Are Ugly Opium Eaters

Did you guys read the current issue of the Northeast Times yet? If you didn't, you missed this letter, possibly the best one the paper has ever printed. (And it is really a tough contest.)

Sick and tired of the teens in Fox Chase

I am writing in response to Miss Sondra Lorino’s letter last week (Memo to bike-seat thief: You’re a coward). Frankly, I think it is utterly ridiculous that these hoodlums stole an innocent girl’s bike seat. I myself am sick and tired of the teenagers in this neighborhood. Last week I was walking my beloved Boston terrier Otto though the path at Burholme Park, when he cut his paw open on a broken beer bottle left by ignorant teens. It’s bad enough they’re hurting the neighborhood, but now small children and animals? Luckily my dog was OK, but who’s going to pay the vet bill? Maybe next time instead of buying a case of Zima or whatever they’re drinking these days, they can reimburse me for Otto’s left paw.

I also noticed Ms. Lorino’s concern about the recreation center. This too makes me very angry. It’s a recreation center meant for the youth, but it’s filled with teenagers and drugs. It’s beginning to remind me of an opium den in Taiwan. It’s occupied with ugly-looking teens and little kids using playground equipment. Does this make any sense? You tell me!

Who’s here to stop all these? Fox Chase Town Watch? Where are they? We would be better off having a blind version of the A-Team minus Face and Mr. T. Sure, I do see them patrolling, and they do help out a lot, but we need more. We need to reinforce the curfew laws. I see kids no older than 14 running around the neighborhood at 4 in the morning all souped up on God-knows-what. They’re out there throwing pennies and apples at people. Also I see the young girls walking around drunk with grown men. Where are the parents? Remember, the world revolves around action and responsibility.

Ahh, yes, the ol' "blind version of the A-Team minus Face and Mr. T" reference. And I think it's silly this letter writer doesn't get why the young girls are walking around with grown men: As he proved in his previous paragraph, teenagers nowadays are ugly. Plus grown men can get something better than Zima, which not even teenagers drink anymore.

With apologies to Vogt Playground, which isn't even in Fox Chase. Eh.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:56 AM | Comments (6)

July 09, 2008

'Metro' Readers Outraged, As Usual

Daniel Holloway and the always-excellent Dorothy Robinson did a humor piece on "25 reasons to love America" right before Independence Day. Ha ha, they even crammed both of their heads into one byline thingy.

Since it's a humor column in a newspaper, people get angry. Yay for America! Anyway, apparently you can't call Ben Franklin a pimp without people getting all up in arms. (After the jump.)

Continue reading "'Metro' Readers Outraged, As Usual"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:12 PM | Comments (2)

June 02, 2008

High Gas Prices? Blame NASCAR.

There's an excellent letter to the editor in the current edition of the Northeast Times, about high gas prices. The letter blames several people and/or groups for the high price of gas, but most notable are these two:

The second is a group of people, who many probably do not even think about: Race car drivers like NASCAR. They use the same gas we do. They have to put gas in the trucks that transport the race cars. If NASCAR did not exist, there would automatically be less demand for gas, and therefore more of a supply. And let’s not forget the fans that expend gas traveling to these events.

The third group consists of store owners. If we lived in a perfect world, we could go to one place and purchase everything that we needed, from groceries to clothes to auto parts, etc. But we do not live in a perfect world and businesses are shuffled all across neighborhoods, towns and cities. In reality, we cannot fault store owners, though. They have to purchase properties where they can.

And what about NASCAR drivers who drive to the stores? Those greedy shop owners, not selling every product imaginable, and instead only having specialty shops that sell "ice cream" or "compact discs" or whatever!

I do like the idea of lowering gas prices by eliminating NASCAR and making every store a Wal-Mart. Don't they have the same clientele?

Update: Hey, look, NASCAR actually answered this complaint back in 2004 on its official website. Er, well, not really, it just mentioned other ways we Americans waste gas.

5/29 Letters [Northeast Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:51 PM | Comments (36)

May 27, 2008

Fun With 'NE Times' Letters Page

It's been a while since we've checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. Let's take a look.

But one thing that bites at me is that all these fine men in blue were white. How is it that they are always the first to respond?

Last year I visited my old hometown (Philadelphia). I drove by six police patrol cars on the road. Four out of six had the "rap music" on so loud I don’t think they could hear a dispatcher’s call. And the other two were on cell phones with their heads bobbing left to right. Very professional.

Oh, all six were black. I’m not saying I wished the cops that were killed were black, because I am not. But it just seems so strange that all were white.

Thanks, Anthony J. Porta from Sebring, Florida, for your insightful letter. "I'm not saying anything racist, like I wish black cops were killed. I just think all the black officers on the Philadelphia police department are lazy and listen to rap 'music.' See what I did there, with the quotes around it, insinuating it's not any good?"

Why are the white cops the ones to die? [Northeast Times, 4th from bottom]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:02 AM | Comments (4)

May 08, 2008

Specter Asks Us To Be Nice To Ry-Ho

A letter in today's Inquirer about Ryan Howard:

Cheer Ryan Howard On Monday, I suggested on Angelo Cataldi's WIP radio talk show that Philadelphia fans should give Ryan Howard a standing ovation every time he comes to the plate. Those cheers would tell Howard that we understand the struggle, that we are with him, and that he still is the same hero in our eyes who won MVP and Rookie of the Year in successive seasons.

On Tuesday, I read that Pat Burrell attributes his success this year to confidence. From my own experience, I can attest that state of mind or confidence are crucial factors in success.

Obviously, Howard has been a big disappointment this year to the fans and to himself ("Manuel sits Howard against Big Unit, guarding progress," May 7). However, there's a good chance that a standing ovation and cheers could give him a shot in the arm and the confidence to shake out of his slump.

U.S. Sen. Arlen Specter
Washington

Yes, apparently ol' Arlen is following in the footsteps of Post Game Live panelist/Pennsylvania governor Ed Rendell and weighing in on the sports topics of the day. He's actually involved in all the facets of sports: Spygate, the NFL Network and Comcast, Ryan Howard's feelings. Aww, let's all be nice to Ry-Ho so he hits some dingers.

Letters to the Editor [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:52 AM | Comments (1)

April 17, 2008

The Earth Is Alright

Here is a letter the Daily News actually printed today, about the Earth:

Letters: Earth, shmearth

I HAVE A GREAT suggestion for all you environmental wackos to do on "Earth Day":

Leave it alone!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I also have a question: Who do we sue if all of these proposed changes make the situation worse?

Tom Bell
Philadelphia

Thanks, Tom! I can tell you're a scientist and you clearly know what you're doing with your famous "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" theorem. Thanks for clearing it all up for me.

Letters: Earth, shmearth [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:22 AM | Comments (0)

April 11, 2008

About A Dog

This week's Northeast Times letters page is a treasure trove of excellent letters, including this one, written by Kelley McGrath of Brookhaven. Naturally, the testy letter comes from an argument concerning a dog:

This letter is for the uncouth woman who confronted me at the park on Saturday, March 15, at approximately 9 a.m.

Your ostentatious display was misguided and totally uncalled for. Had you known anything about dogs, you would know that there is nothing inhumane about so-called "choke collars" when used properly. And at no time have I ever been in jeopardy of "breaking [my] dog’s trachea," as you so absurdly implied.

Being the lady that I am, I opted to dismiss your imprudent attack, rather than engage you in a heated exchange in front of your child.

But while I have put your ugly and false reproach behind me, there is one thing I still feel duty-bound to call your attention to: try to keep your composure when carrying conversations with others. You emit projectile saliva from your braces when you get excited.

Is that last line an insult or a line from a Monty Python movie?

Letters 4.10 [Northeast Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:49 AM | Comments (2)

February 06, 2008

Guy You Don't Know Apologizes

Hey, remember when Louis DeNaples said that he couldn't recognize John Street because all black people look the same to him? No? Come on, he's the casino guy who allegedly lied about his mob ties, and we want corporations to make a ton of money on gambling, not mobsters.

Well, anyway, he apologized.

I want to apologize for the insensitivity of this remark. It was wrong, I shouldn't have said it, and I am very sorry that I did. It came during the course of an exhaustive day of testimony, and it occurred as I was being shown a number of black and white photographs and being asked whether I recognized any of the individuals in the photos.

When I answered, I was referring to my inability to distinguish the people in those photos, and I just didn't do a very good job of making that point. My remark really was in reference to the difficulty I was having identifying anyone in the photos.

Continue reading "Guy You Don't Know Apologizes"

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December 26, 2007

Make Fun Of Ron Paul And Get Fired From Your Job

Somebody emailed pretty much every staffer who works at Philadelphia Weekly except me and sent them an email about how my post about Ron Paul made Baby Jesus cry or something. (For reference, Anthony Clifton owns PW.)

What you are allowing is unprofessional. Ron Paul is a presidential candidate. I remember the day JFK was killed. I remember the day MLK was killed. I remember the day RFK was killed. I remember the day George Wallace was shot. I remember the day Ronald Reagan was shot. I remember the day Jerry Ford was almost shot. I am sure there is a Philadelphia way to deal with idiots like Daniel McQuade but in the mean time I feel terminating his position would be enough. If something happens to a Presidential Candidate, the blood will be on your hands and I will point out to the media you had the chance to take the article down or change it and ANTHONY CLIFTON chose not to.

Apparently, telling jokes about and linking to a report about Ron Paul possibly being assassinated by a pot of neo-conservatives is a horrible capital offense or something and I should be fired. And maybe be killed, too? I dunno. Hooray for the Internet!

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November 26, 2007

NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze

Ton of stuff in the Northeast Times last week, which I noticed when I was in the NE for Thanksgiving. For example, this letter about how Bill and Hillary are the anti-Jack Kelly:

There are many pet lovers who write letters to the Northeast Times. I wonder what they think of the Clintons’ bid to get back in the White House?

The Clintons entered the White House with their lovable cat Socks. Then they adopted their dog Buddy when Bill got into his women problems and needed to seem more, I guess, normal.

Presidential candidate Hillary once even wrote a book about the pets, and we were told how Socks loved to roll in the laundry (as if Hillary ever did laundry.)

Continue reading "NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze"

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October 09, 2007

Uniforms Quash Individuality, Identifying Features

You may think the missing mayor is the only big story in Atlantic City right now.

You'd be wrong:

In essence, Atlantic City High School has done nothing but wrap a pretty bow around its problems. The students know that the uniform policy has only added to the agitation of the school's delinquents, who are currently seeking any outlets they can to voice their outrage.

The school keeps itself hidden from the public eye, and even the students do not know all of the mishaps that occur.

But this year has already started out worse than the last. Sept. 27 was a prime example, with two fights and a fireworks display in the main hall.

An encore fireworks presentation occurred on the following day as the unidentifiable uniformed culprit struck once again.

So not only do they have uniforms, but they have uniforms which make them unidentifiable! Yeah, I'd say that might be a bit much.

Uniforms add to ACHS troubles [Press of Atlantic City, 2nd letter]

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September 17, 2007

'UC Review' Prints Hilarious Anti-Gentrification Missive

In line with such other freedom fighters such as Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, one "Name withheld" calls the troops to action.

I remember a time not that long ago when it seemed like there was conversation going on in West Philly about gentrification and how to organize against what was about to happen. Then, people seemed to stop being engaged, maybe they got busy or something. Well, while you were having fun and going to dance parties, guess what happened?

THERES A BREW PUB at 50th and Baltimore, and a YOGA STUDIO and a COFFEE SHOP. HELLO.

Now I am not one to argue that everything is black and white and that those things plus a bunch of white folks moving into a neighborhood simply equals gentrification, but in this case, it is really hard to see the situation as anything else.

I suppose partly because nobody seems to give a s�t and ya'll are going on with your hipster lifestyles. I mean Christ, the brew pub is open and nobody broke the f�ing windows yet. It was bad enough when Trader Joes got a compactor and nobody sabotaged it. IS THIS WEST PHILLY OR WHAT? Aren't ya'll supposed to be anarchists or something? If s�t gets to a certain point, should you need to take direct action if you failed to engage in the process that could have stopped it?

A bunch of you are white homeowners, you could have been at the neighborhood meetings. You could have stopped that s�t. And what's with letting these snot-nosed hipster fu..s move into the neighborhood so they can look cool? Are you really just going to accept this manifest destiny bullshit or are you going to take responsibility for where you live and for what you have helped happen. Silence equals consent remember?

I'll be honest: This is so well done, I can't tell if it's a parody or not, though I'm leaning toward it. Either way, good show.

Open Letter To West Philly From A Concerned Relation [UC Review, line breaks supplied by Philadelphia Will Do]

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June 01, 2007

al-Zarqawi, Bill Henley Dine At Continental

A letter in today's Daily News:

IF THE Public Eye in your paper can spot all those people dining, drinking, socializing and getting into trouble, why don't you use those skills and go out and find Osama?

And all the recent coverage of Barbaro is making me sick.

You'd think, other than making money off him, he was a talking horse like Mr. Ed!

Laurence Barberra, Philadelphia

I can't help but agree with the Barbaro comment, though I suspect Mr. Barberra is just upset his name is close to that damn horse's (and also that he didn't invent Huckleberry Hound). As for the other point he makes, I have to disagree on that one. I mean, didn't he see Dan Gross' latest column?

Letters | Eye on Osama [Daily News]

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May 21, 2007

Alycia Lane Fan Pleads In Paper For Date

A letter in today's Daily News from one Mark Anthony Vare, who currently has one Google result:

ANNE M. Ginsberg, I'm sad to read of your enmity toward Alycia Lane. She is naturally gorgeous and owes no one an apology.

She wasn't on the entire front page due to her countenance. She was NEWS. And the DN is a NEWSpaper. (Not a tabloid scandal-sheet.)

The vast majority of us aren't glamorous. Don't toss-'n'-turn over it.

This is pretty much the best defense of celebrity coverage possible: These people are beautiful, and deserve to be covered!

I also urge you all to read the letter that prompted this response, along with the letters below it about Jim McGreevey molesting kids, why jury duty is awesome and why Barbaro sucks.

Alycia was news [DN]
Don't let celeb drivel drive out real news [DN]

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May 18, 2007

Nutter/Shock G Mashup Inappropriate For Alt-Weekly

A letter to the editor in this week's PW addresses the issue of last week's Nutter endorsement cover and why it was wrong to put a big nose and glasses on the city's likely next mayor:

I’m happy to count myself among the “nerd bloc” lining up behind Nutter’s mayoral campaign. But I think your endorsement pushed the ethical envelope a bit too far. It’s one thing for the staff to choose a candidate and give him the nod. But it’s another for them to publish a 3,000-word love-fest that carries the patina of narrative, factual reporting.

And that cover? A tidy bit of agitprop that would make Murrow, Mao and (if he were dead) Shock G roll over in their graves/crystal coffins. I’m having a hard time figuring out where the journalism stops and the cheerleading starts—and it looks like you are too.

ADAM FINKELSTEIN
Center City

Continue reading "Nutter/Shock G Mashup Inappropriate For Alt-Weekly"

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May 11, 2007

City To Be Overrun By Non-Elephant Animals

A letter writer in this week's Northeast Times complains about the lack of elephants at the Philadelphia Zoo:

What kind of a zoo has no elephants? The Philadelphia Zoo, that’s who! Our elephants have been with us forever. Now they are packing their trunks and moving. The worst is they are going to a bigger and better habitat that has more room for them to roam. Do they know something we don’t?

Who’s next?

The high prices for admission and parking are keeping a lot of families away from the zoo. They can no longer afford to spend that amount of money for a day’s outing. The gorilla families were the biggest draw to the zoo, and tragically they were lost in a 1995 fire, due to someone not caring enough to check on a preventable event. It’s sad, but if the situation gets worse, I think all the animals will pack up and leave.

Ask any kid what animals do they want to see at the zoo? They will say monkeys and elephants.

Holy shit! Without elephants, our city will be overrun by lions and tigers and prairie dogs! Aw, but I could probably snag a cutesy red panda or two in that case.

Plus, do you think the animals would have little suitcases when they packed up and left? That'd be so cute!

Northeast Times Letters 5.10 [NET]

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April 30, 2007

Shocking News: Pro Wrestler Violent

On Friday, Metro interviewed "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, pro wrestler and star of The Condemned, which nobody went to see when it opened this past weekend. (Steve Austin, apparently, believes in global warming because "it seems like it just keeps getting warmer and warmer.") The interview opened with this:

The White House has been searching for a new war czar in Iraq. If you were war czar, what would your strategy be?

Hell, I'd say -- you want me to take a hard stand on this thing?

Sure.
I'd say, bomb 'em. I'd just bomb the hell out of them, that's my take on it. The long story short, just drop the bomb on 'em.

With talk like that, you'd think Stone Cold would actually be named new war czar in a day or two. But all this interview did, apparently, was enrage an emailer, who wants more diplomacy from our nation's pro wrestlers.

Continue reading "Shocking News: Pro Wrestler Violent"

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April 24, 2007

Only The Post Office May Vandalize Mail Boxes

The letter of the week from the Northeast Times:

My 3-year-old son and his cousin were overjoyed at the thought of seeing the R2D2 mailbox that was put on display at Cottman Avenue and Frontenac Street for the Star Wars 30th anniversary. I’m equally happy that there was one placed in the Northeast and that it was spotlighted in the March 29 edition of the Northeast Times. However, I was glad that my sister and I took our children two days after we read where it was going it be, as when we arrived, the vinyl applied to it was already half removed from the back and side of the mailbox!

The following day, the vinyl had been ripped off of the front of the mailbox as well. I was disgusted when I saw this! I guess nothing can be special anymore. If we can’t respect something as simple as a decorated mailbox and let others have some joy seeing it, what does that say about the residents of our city? I guess graffiti would be appropriate for the mailbox. Hopefully, the next time there is something different and unique that is going to be placed in the Northeast, maybe it won’t be put here, since it would only be destroyed. I’m just glad that my son was able to appreciate it before it was completely destroyed. Way to go in ruining something else nice and different in the Northeast.

Alright, look. I know Northeast Philly isn't the most exciting place in the world, but never, ever, ever, even in my most bored state as a kid did I ever think, "Hey! Let's go visit the mailbox!"

Sadly, the vandal force is with us [Northeast Times]

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March 21, 2007

Wipe That Smerc Off Your Face

Hey, kids! Know what's wrong with Michael Smerconish's new Inquirer column is? Well, one letter writer has an idea:

Here is my gut-based early read on Michael Smerconish's "Head Strong" columns. He is going way overboard to fit in with his new editors and their readership.

There are plenty of reliable lefties available to bore us with columns like "The Muzzle Meter" (March 4).

He should try going after topics that his editors will not want him to take on. Maybe find a pro-Bush position that he still may have (providing there are any).

See how that goes over.

Yes, that's right. That's why Smerconish's Inquirer column has been a bust so far: Michael Smerconish is far too liberal.

Smerconish Panders [Inquirer]

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February 21, 2007

Kids Nowadays Love Skimpy Costumes

This letter's about a month old, but let's look at it anyway. It's from the greatest of all letters pages, the Northeast Times'. And it concerns the Times' kids column -- cleverly titled "Kids Stuff."

And, of course, someone is upset by it.

I have enjoyed William Feldman’s Kid’s [sic] Stuff since he began the column several years ago. But last week I was more than a bit shocked when he was doing a review of the play Chicago, which is by no means kids’ stuff.

It has adult themes, adult drama, skimpy costumes and nothing that would be appropriate to anyone below their teenage years, aka, "kids."

Please understand that I love William’s writing — he is a very talented young man (emphasis on man), nor do I have a problem with the show Chicago — I found it very entertaining! But is Chicago something to be published under a Kids Stuff theme? I think not.

Adult drama! Skimpy costumes! Is nothing sacred anymore?

'Kids Stuff' no longer for kids [Northeast Times]

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February 08, 2007

Reason #51 To Love Philadelphia: 'Northeast Times' Letters Page

It's been a while since I checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. If you're unfamiliar with it, there are archives. But it can really just be summed up like this: The Northeast Times letters pages are like Craigslist's rants and raves, only with less stringent guidelines and better editing.

And, as such, people sometimes use the letters page to thank a good Samaritan, to complain about Section 8 housing, to complain about the state of Mayfair, to complain about Section 8 housing again and, of course, to chastise their neighbors without having to complain to their faces.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner

This is to the young man that walks his dog (part bulldog, with a dark body white face, you know who you are) down Hellerman Street every day, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening. You allow your dog to defecate on our lawn and our neighbor’s lawns and then walk away without cleaning it up.

Young man, it is the LAW in this city that you must clean up after your dog. You have to pick up, take it with you and put it in a trash can. I am tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, my sister is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, and my mother is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog. We own a dog and we NEVER go out for a walk without bags in hand. We always clean up after our dog, and I expect you to do the same. So I am asking you politely, please, be a responsible dog owner and clean up after your dog.

I'm asking you politely with a patronizing "young man" and a pointless appeal to authority that wouldn't convince anyone over the age of 10.

See? Awesome.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner [Northeast Times]

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February 02, 2007

Barbaro Lovers Angrily Defend Selves

A letter in today's Daily News, from Frank Keel of North Wales:

I'm dumbfounded as to why people would question the widespread outpouring of genuine emotion over the sad death of Barbaro.

It's simple. He never held out for more money. He never did sit-ups in his paddock for media attention. He never used steroids to enhance his performance. He never demanded a trade to another farm. He never accused his rivals of horse-on-horse crime.

In short, in these days of petulant, self-absorbed children who pass for professional athletes, Barbaro was nothing less than a majestic physical specimen who transcended his sport.

His courage and nobility will live on. Try saying that about any other professional athlete of this regrettable "me generation."

You know, I've never really been surprised at the genuine outpouring of emotion for Barbaro. After all, people are idiots. (That doesn't mean if you were sad that a horse you once saw finish a race on TV died you're an idiot -- unless you subscribe to my theory that we all are idiots, every one of us.) But have you met people? They (we) certainly care about stuff just as stupid or even stupider than Barbaro.

However, I really, really, really don't get this argument. I've read it from sports columnists, heard it from friends and now read it in this letter. Are you fucking kidding me? Frank Keel and the other people who love Barbaro because he couldn't have any off-the-field troubles must have really, really sad existence. I pity them.

And not just because I'm a pompous asshole, but also because if you can't see Terrell Owens doing situps in his driveway and not think it's funny, then you, sirs and madams, are missing out. Because that was hilarious! "We talkin' bout practice!" Hilarious. Donovan McNabb accusing T.O. of black-on-black crime? Hilarious. Some newspaper owner/NAACP head writing a ridiculously stupid column showing absolutely no knowledge of the game of football? Hilarious.

(You might think this is a racial thing; that racists who can't take rooting for black athletes turn to horse racing. But isn't Barbaro black?)

I'd rather just root for a human being, a real one with flaws and weaknesses. The rest of you can hope Jesus unretires and re-signs with the Cleveland Browns.

BARBARO WAS AN ATHLETE WITH REAL CHARACTER [Daily News]

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January 22, 2007

81-Year-Old Liberals Now Terror Threat

Like most Americans, 81-year-old Dan Tilli isn't a big fan of President Bush. And like many older Americans, he writes letters to the editor of his local paper, The Express-Times in Easton.

Unlike most Americans, Dan Tilli got a visit from the Secret Service after writing a letter bashing President Bush. The letter was published in Monday's Express-Times and concluded with the line: "I still believe they hanged the wrong man." I'd assume he was saying they (the Iraqis?) should have hung Osama Bin Laden instead, but the Secret Service agents decided to drive 60 miles from Philly to Easton to check out if he was thinking about hurting President Bush.

The Secret Service showed up Thursday and chatted with Tilli for an hour before deciding he was not a threat. They asked him a few questions -- including if he was thinking about committing suicide, to which he responded "Hell no!" -- and checked his closets for weapons, which he agreed to. (In addition to posing no threat to President Bush, Tilli also doesn't have boxes of Oxycontin in his closet.) Oddly enough, the Secret Service enjoyed their visit, too! I swear to God this is in the article:

Secret Service agent Kenneth Beauchamp said he enjoyed his visit with Tilli.

"He was an interesting man to talk to," Beauchamp said. "He seemed like a very nice gentleman."

Fortunately for Tilli, his case file is already closed. (81-year-olds who don't even know how to get to Washington, D.C., are rarely on the Secret Service's radar for long.) Tilli is going to keep writing, though: "He [the agent] said they are good letters." Let's hope he doesn't comment on Dick Cheney's hunting accident, lest he get a visit about wanting to shoot the veep. (How would he acquire the means to hang President Bush, anyway? Shoot I can understand, but not hang.)

Writer finds an agent -- from the Secret Service [Express-Times]

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SEPTA Might As Well Spit In MLK's Face

A letter in today's Daily News addresses why we don't really honor Martin Luther King because SEPTA has the audacity to run a weekday schedule:

I've never understood how we have a Martin Luther King Day, yet it still isn't a holiday.

Dr. King has done more for us all than half the presidents we've had - or will have. But his day is not even a total national celebration.

They think that by giving the kids a day off from school and closing state and federal buildings and stopping mail from being delivered it's good enough. Well, I'm here to say it isn't!

I got up to go to work on that Monday morning because, unlike a real holiday when I'm actually off, I had to work. (No, I had the option of working, but what it really boils down to is if we are open, you are working.)

So I got on SEPTA and realized it was operating on a regular schedule, not a holiday one, which made it official that Jan. 15 was not a holiday, just Dr. King's birthday. And it will forever be just that unless we stand up and do something.

There was a recent national day of grief for a president who died, but we can't have a real national holiday for a man who gave his life to better the lives of all people in the world, not just black people, but white, pink, yellow and red?

We need to wake up and get our priorities straight because enough is enough.

Shakia Summers
Philadelphia

Yeah, I do think someone needs to get her priorities straight.

MLK Day is inadequate [Daily News]

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December 08, 2006

'Daily News' Letter Writer Predicts Death For Us All

The Daily News today prints a letter warning us of our impending deaths at the hands of jihadist crusaders and Mexican immigrants. (Apparently, Mexicans who come here to work on berry farms are now allies of terrorists. Who knew?) It's in response to Michael Smerconish's column last week which detailed a plan some dude who hasn't seen Dr. Strangelove had for mutually assured destruction with terrorists, because, really, that'll work.

Our letter writer comes from Pakistan and threatens to make us hate our lives, ruing the day we were born. I think we'd just commit suicide at that point, but he doesn't explain. Here's the letter:

Destroying the holy cities of Islam in retaliation for terror won't be a deterrent.

But Americans will be ensuring their annihilation. (A few hundred terrorists joining the millions of illegal Mexicans will be enough.)

No American will be able to set foot in any Muslim country, not to speak of getting a drop of oil. Every American will rue the day his mother gave birth to him.

Muhammad Abd al-Hameed
Lahore, Pakistan

Yeah, I thought it was fake, too, until I found Mr. al-Hameed's blog. He's apparently a consultant! He hasn't updated his blog in over a year, but he does feel that the demonetization of five-rupee note is illegal, and he doesn't hate America enough to avoid using Google ads. (Hey, every extra rupee helps!)

On the plus side, the Daily News named this death-promising letter its rant of the week.

Letters | You have been warned! [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)