August 15, 2008

Your Lead Of The Year

In other news, we just lost power here at PW, and so my laptop is going to run out of power eventually. (Internet still works.) I'll be moving locations and shall be back soon.

Update: OMG I just remembered the Obama office is above us. TERRORIST ATTACK BY JOHN MCCAIN!!!

Group To Announce Discovery Of Bigfoot [CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:26 PM | Comments (1)

July 30, 2008

A Dept. Store Return To Normalcy

Also, the story that goes along with this all-important poll has a super-awesome serious lead:

Most shelves were full yesterday at Boscov's in Plymouth Meeting Mall, but the scene of normalcy concealed the turbulence rattling the region's only surviving family-owned department store chain.

The Inquirer asks, "Will Boscov's survive?" But the real question is: Boscov's is still around? Heh. I had no idea.

Boscov's sails into retail turbulence [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:05 AM | Comments (1)

July 15, 2008

Lead Of The Day

The next time you lament "What's the matter with kids today?," consider these three teens from the historically black Boy Scout Troop 133 in West Philadelphia.

I'll do that, Inquirer. Thanks for the advice.

Three in Philadelphia troop become Eagle Scouts [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)

July 02, 2008

Leads Of The Day

Let's all congratulate Damon C. Williams, for the two best leads of the day anywhere.

First, Mural to bring cops, kids together today in N. Philly:

If art imitates life, then Philadelphia will become a beacon of peace and synergy if the Philadelphia Mural Arts Program has its way.

And, second, Are you a kid with nothing to do?

Attending summer camp can be an annual rite of passage for city youths - even those with mental or behavioral health issues.

The second story's pretty interesting, actually, and it also contains the best-named school in the district: Gompers Middle School.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:44 AM | Comments (2)

February 12, 2008

Hooray: You Might Not Die Soon

This is the most uplifting sentence you'll read all day:

If you dial "911" in Philadelphia for a medical emergency, you may soon have a better chance of surviving.

Well, okay, it's still a maybe. Hopefully City Council will get on that after they get finished figuring out what to do with the city's golf courses.

Philadelphia To Add Additional Medical Unites [CBS 3]
Phila. Council takes up city-owned golf courses [Inquirer]

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February 05, 2008

Tons Of Butter Spill Onto Turnpike

Not only did a truck carrying 43 thousand pounds (21.5 tons) of butter nearly close the Northeast Extension when it crashed this morning, but then Action News did this intro to the story:

PLYMOUTH TWP., Pa. - February 5, 2008 -- Butter is not jam... but it is jamming the Northeast Extension. A tractor trailer carrying butter overturned on the Northeast Extension southbound ramp to the eastbound Turnpike in Plymouth Township.

Investigators tell Action News that traffic is getting by on the shoulder, but further delays are expected when the cleanup begins.

What? It's just butter. Just hire a diner to clean it up; they'll never have to buy butter again.

Butter truck crash jams Northeast Extension [6 ABC]

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August 29, 2007

Awesomest Lead Ever

God might be ever-present but representatives from the Roman Catholic Church were auspiciously absent from Monday night's Bensalem Council meeting.

Church absent from cemetery hearing [Bucks Co. Courier Times]

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July 15, 2007

Badgers Set Up Provisional Iraqi Government

The competition is over.

British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.

Update: Somebody smacked some sense into me and told me I should add some of the quotes. It must be a great job when you get to say this sentence seriously.

UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area."

And I enjoy the description of the badgers as well.

"My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," she said. "It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey," she told AFP.

British blamed for Basra badgers [BBC]

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July 12, 2007

I'll Answer Your Question, In My Next Sentence

In a shocking development, an online Christian dating site is popular, among Christians.

Is there a place single Christians can go to find a person who shares their likes, dislikes and, most importantly, their faith? According to Sean Barbera, spokesman for Christianmingle.com, the answer is yes.

Is there a place that does [x]? Why, yes, says a spokesperson for a company that does [x]?

Online Dating Site Popular Among Christians [The Bulletin]

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April 20, 2007

'Daily News' Has Some Choice Leads Today, Too

It wasn't just the Inquirer who had excellent, well-written leads today. No, the Daily News did its part as well to make sure the stories of the day were introduced in the most ridiculous way.

For example, longtime high school sports writer Ted Silary does a nice job introducing this story about some high school shot putters who rescued a woman from a burning house.

This was a track meet with no ordinary highlight. The best performance, by far, did involve running and jumping and teamwork, though. Along with wonderful bravery.

Hey! That's unfair to shot put competitors. When's the last time a shot put highlight included running and jumping and teamwork?

Continue reading "'Daily News' Has Some Choice Leads Today, Too"

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'Inky' Destroys Field In Inappropriate Lead Competition

Today is the last day of classes at Penn -- which means it's almost my ex-girlfriend's birthday, so I should remember when to call and say hi. But it's also the tradition known as Hey Day, allegedly started by some student who said "If I make it to senior year, I'll eat my hat!"

I'm sure this story, much like the "Penn kids stopped drinking at football games after Prohibition" one, is false. But no matter: Penn juniors will officially become seniors today after they put on red shirts, eat pieces off each other's Styrofoam hats and dance around with old-timey canes.

In recent years, those oh-so-clever Penn kids have added two more traditions: (1) Chanting "show your tits" at the University President and (2) Members of the current senior class pelting juniors with mustard, shaving cream, ketchup, etc.

New tradition one was, apparently, sexist or something, and not just a way to tell ex-Penn president Judith Rodin she had a nice rack. And so people wrote letters to the editor and guest columns in the school paper and the Inquirer put it on the front page or something and eventually it stopped.

New tradition two, however, continued until last year, when apparently some whiny juniors couldn't take getting hit with a couple condiments and the University threatened to cancel Hey Day. Eventually, this year's Hey Day eliminated this tradition by making students sign responsibility pledges, always the cornerstone of any fun activity.

Anyway, Hey Day. Today. And here's the Inquirer's lead to today's story, written by one Julie Stoiber:

Even before the horror at Virginia Tech this week put campus safety in the spotlight, administrators at the University of Pennsylvania had taken steps to quell what they say was a menacing turn in the school's "Hey Day" ritual, scheduled for this afternoon, in which juniors are pelted with ketchup, fish, and other gross and potentially hazardous foodstuffs by graduating seniors.

After the jump, a few similar leads throughout the ages.

Continue reading "'Inky' Destroys Field In Inappropriate Lead Competition"

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March 09, 2007

One Way To Make People Not Read Past First Graf

CAPE MAY COURT HOUSE, N.J. - It may be the most compelling question since people started wondering who fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

N.J.'s Mega Millions mystery prompts a wealth of questions [Inquirer]

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January 26, 2007

Lead Of The Day, Chosen People Edition

In Hebrew, rabbi means "teacher."

Rabbi adapts to new kidney [Camden Courier-Post]

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December 19, 2006

Keystone Cops: Wait, 'America's Most Wanted' Is Still On?

Keystone Cops is a look at police, crime and public safety news.

• New Jersey authorities began receiving tips about the Atlantic City serial killer after the killings were featured on America's Most Wanted. Authorities responded by saying it's not a serial killer. [Inquirer]

• After Felicia Johnson was convicted for first degree murder, she tried to throw a water pitcher and a microphone at the judge. She was found guilty of murdering a 15-year-old and making the janitor work overtime. [NBC 10]

• The (Pointless) War on Drugs did at least lead to this lead today: "More than a dozen local crack suppliers will be having a blue, blue Christmas - without their cherished drug stashes - because of two well-timed weekend raids." The second "blue" is what sells it, I think. [Daily News]

• And a standoff with police also led to another good journalism moment, this headline on the West Chester Daily Local's website: "BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! Standoff ends in Uwchlan." [Daily Local]

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November 29, 2006

Leftovers: McNabb To Return In Next [x] Months

• Donovan McNabb underwent surgery for his torn ACL yesterday, and here's the Associated Press' lead: "Donovan McNabb could miss as much as a year or could be ready for the 2007 season opener after having surgery yesterday to repair a torn knee ligament." Or, perhaps, he could die from complications, or return tomorrow and lead the Eagles to the Super Bowl. [AP/Toronto Star]

• And another awesome AP lead, from Bethlehem, Pa.: "A man serving life without parole for stabbing his neighbor more than 80 times with a samurai sword and setting the victim's clothes on fire was awarded $1 by a federal jury that ruled five of the officers arresting him used excessive force." [AP/Philly.com]

• Good news: There are lots of flu vaccines this year. Bad news: There are so many, there will probably be a shortage next year. Aye. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And the Philly Future comment of the century: "Oh... the 'papers' are going on strike? Thank God for the Evening Bulletin!" [Philly Future]

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October 09, 2006

'Bulletin' Runs Best Lead Ever

In a column by Judie Brown, president of the American Life League:

When I first heard about the recently produced documentary, This Film Is Not Yet Rated, there was no real desire on my part to dig into the subject. After all, I thought, what has this got to do with ending abortion and stopping the spread of promiscuity that accompanies the entire panoply of birth control products?

Geeze, a little obsessed with your job, eh, Judie? After the jump, a bunch more excerpts to ease the pain of a Monday.

Continue reading "'Bulletin' Runs Best Lead Ever"

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September 12, 2006

Second Totally Awesome Lead Of The Day

The Daily News' pregnant woman lead was pretty good. But the Inquirer might have one-upped the DN with this gem:

The two skydivers - a veteran instructor and a novice jumper who were tethered - lay dead, their bones in jumbles, on a Gloucester County lawn across from a Home Depot.

Okay, so this lead is like The Godfather.

Skydiving went on after deaths [Inquirer]

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Like A Chocoholic, But For Crack

David Gambacorta reports today in the Daily News about a pregnant woman arrested for allegedly buying crack.

But that's not all! You may remember Tamika Pennington, 31, from a story in 2002 when her 2-year-old son was found dead and police found her dancing in the street naked.

In true Daily News fashion, though, the story begins this way:

For many women, insatiable and odd cravings are a common part of pregnancy.

For some, it's ice cream and pickles. For others, it's seafood and peanut butter.

But when Tamika Pennington got a craving late last week, police said, it was for something a lot stronger - and illegal.

If leads were movies, this would be, like, Godfather II.

Pregnant mom in a pickle [Daily News]
Related: I'm Like A Chocoholic, But For Booze [The Onion]

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July 24, 2006

Faye Flam's Mail: Almost As Weird As Dan Savage's

Last week, Faye Flam began her column on nudity with an anecdote about a reader, Bob, who called her a second time to insist she take a trip to the nude beach in Sandy Hook, New Jersey.

This is kind of an odd way to start a column -- oh, here's a little story about a reader who said, "Hey, you must go to this nude beach!" -- and it also might encourage him to come back for more.

But the lead apparently was a crowd pleaser, as Faye Flam does a redux today with her lead on dominance and submission:

July is dominance/submission month, or so it would seem from the strange confluence of e-mail that readers sent. First came a couple of e-mails from "Brian." Brian is looking for a woman to dominate him, but until he finds his dream dominatrix, he said he'd like me to help him practice by occasionally telling him to go to bed. He usually retires about 11, but said it would be really fun if I ordered him to bed at, say, 10.

That's funny. I sent the same email to Stu Bykofsky last week. Didn't hear back, though.

Who has the upper hand in your twosome? [Inky]
Savage Love [PW]
July 17: What About Bob (And Nude Beaches)?

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June 15, 2006

Duck-Related Lead Of The Year

Returning from a 10-day Caribbean cruise, Jerry and Claire Miller got a fine-feathered welcome home that was so startling, it set their hearts aflutter. In medical terms, it was a near case of cardi-quack arrest.

Needless to say, this is from the Bucks County Courier Times.

There's a duck at the door [Bucks County Courier Times]

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May 11, 2006

Leftovers: West Phila. Speed Racers

• Get this: a bunch of kids from West Philadelphia High School are currently in first in some sort of alternative fuel vehicles competition and race. I don't know if this is a big thing. Still: Go, Speed Racer, Go. [Inquirer]

• Hey, apparently this "Google" company makes popular products. Hm. Google? I don't think that'll be successful. [Business 2.0]

• William DeWeese, the democratic leader in the state house, spent $6,140 on ceramic desk coasters. Let Ceramic Desk Coastergate begin! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The 'Lead of the Day' award goes to the Daily News. Reporter Christine Olley (we don't know who this is, either): "Usually kids get tucked into bed at night with stuffed animals and blankets.¶ Yesterday, however, at about 7 a.m., a 13-year-old was found asleep on the floor of his home in the city's Frankford section with a .45-caliber pistol as police busted open his front door." [DN]

• Arlen Specter wants the phone companies explain why they wispered our calling secrets behind our backs. Come on, dudes. Real true friends don't gossip about each other. But, uh, what am I going to do, give up my Verizon phone? No way. [Inquirer]

• Your uncle Peter Gammons says the Phillies are really coming together (subscription req., sorry). Also: Aug 14-17, CBP. Phillies-Mets; it's the last time they play all year. Which is kind of weird. [ESPN Insider]

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May 10, 2006

Making Love To Mumia

The overwritten lead of the moment competition just keeps heating up recently. Today, Patty-Pat Kozlowski, occasional Daily News guest columnist, comes up with this lead for a column about Mumia Abu Jamal supporters:

THE BEST SONG to make love to is "I Only Have Eyes For You" by the Flamingos. Add some good red wine, candles not from the Dollar Store and those lyrics: "Are the stars out tonight? I don't know if it's cloudy or bright. I only have eyes for you."

The best song for a passion-lacking sweat-fest is a tie: "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf and "Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC. This makeout session usually occurs on a couch or in the back seat of a car, where the question, "Is that the seat belt or you?" can ruin the mood.

Both making love and making out are literally the same thing, in the end you get what you want - you just do it differently.

Same with protesting.

As you all know, there's nothing classier than dollar store candles to make love to.

Song sung blue: Cops & Mumia cult [Daily News]

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May 08, 2006

Introducing 'Leadonomics'

A new entry in the "Overwritten Lead of the Moment" contest -- which, yes, is essentially over, but still -- arrived in my inbox today. (Yes, send these things in, people. I love them.)

It's from ABC News, and it's a story about the price of sex, and it comes to us from John Allen Paulos:

The best-selling book "Freakonomics" examines the economics of some ordinary life situations. If these situations involve sex, the analysis might be better termed Sexonomics.

That's not true. Freakonomics isn't the study of freaks and money, so why would Sexonomics be the study of sex and money? It'd have to be something different, like Freakyonomics.

Who's Counting: Sexonomics -- Prostitutes' Incomes [ABC News]
May 4: The 'Overwritten Lead Of The Moment' Competition Is Over

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April 06, 2006

PR People Really Do Rule The World

By now you've probably heard that Brian J. Doyle, deputy press secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, was busted for attempting to contact and have sex with what he thought was a teenage girl online. (Turns out, it was a member of law enforcement. Whoops!)

So, basically, our government hires some disgusting people much, much worse than Dick Cheney. (A commenter on Wonkette noticed that at the time of Doyle's arrest, he was online "awaiting what he thought was a nude image of a girl who had lymphoma." Umm, Paper Doll, can you look into this?)

While he's clearly disgusting, &c., he was the assistant press secretary. He wasn't even head PR flak. The office of the press secretary doesn't even get a link on the DHS website. But that didn't stop the Anderson Cooper 360 blog from writiting this lead, our newest candidate for Overwritten Lead of the Moment (it's in paragraph two, but we can bend the rules):

Brian Doyle was the deputy press secretary for the Department of Homeland Security, a position that puts him on the front lines of helping to protect this nation. If what Polk County, Florida, police allege is true, it would not only be a grievous crime, but an abrogation of trust with the American people.

Who knew PR flak had so much power?

DHS wonk in teen cyber-sex romance [Sploid]
Sexual predators find support systems online [360 Blog]
Punch-Drunk Love [Citypaper]
Breaking: There's a bigtime perv at DHS [Wonkette]
Department Structure [DHS]

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March 27, 2006

Overwritten Lead Of The Moment, Eagles Edition

You might think with football season months away -- and with baseball on tap next week! -- that there wouldn't be much talk about the Eagles aside from solid WR Eric Moulds' wish to play for the Birds next season.

You fool. You forget, though, that this is Philadelphia. And that this is the Daily News. The latest in the "Overwritten Lead of the Moment" series comes from (surprise) the Daily News! The first paragraph in an editorial about troop withdrawal from Iraq in today's paper is as follows:

IT IS WELL known that after the Eagles lost Dirk Johnson last season, the team found itself in need of a punter. Let us suggest President Bush.

Yeah, and Dick Cheney can totally play offensive tackle.

Blaming It Forward [DN]
Agent: Moulds wants to play for Eagles [DN]

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