July 25, 2008

Redlasso Shuts To Bloggers

Thanks to some lawsuits, Redlasso has closed to bloggers just in time to not have the International Olympic Committee drop a bomb on the company's headquarters or something. On the plus side, thousands of browsers now longer have to fear crashing when they load a blog.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:51 PM | Comments (0)

July 02, 2008

Heroes Try To Stop Stupid City Council Law

Okay, it's time to write more about my new favorite people in this city: The ones suing the city for its new law requiring tour guide licensing.

They are simply on the attack with an all-out media blitz following up on Elmer Smith's column yesterday. There is an op-ed from an Institute for Justice lawyer in the Inquirer and another in the Daily News from one of the tour guides suing.

The writing by the I4J's Bob McNamara is full of typical unintentionally hilarious libertarian seriousness -- "This is a direct assault on fundamental American freedoms" -- but makes the argument pretty clear: The government is limiting who can talk on streetcorners by imposing requirements on what they can say with a tour guide test. That's not the reason I gave for keeping tour guides unlicensed -- they tell awesome lies like, "City Tavern is where the First Continental Congress met" -- but it seems to make sense.

The city can probably institute optional "factually-certified™" tour guide registration or whatever, but can't make it mandatory. Either way this shakes out, I'm totally looking into setting up a tour where you can be sure you won't be told one accurate thing at all.

Also, since I've been laughing at awful Internet comments all week -- I do this all the time, but I've been posting some of them the past couple days -- this comment on the Daily News article is awesome.

ghost stories and anecdotes are a far cry from patently false or misleading information about historical events, which I believe is the main concern here. Statements made in the course of doing one's job are not protected by the first amendment. If I sell hot dogs and I tell my customers my hot dogs will make them taller, I'm a liar and will be fired (or lose my customers). i have no recourse under the first amendment. Your efforts should be directed at making sure the law is implemented as fairly as possible, with everyone's best interests in mind. If you try to have the law struck down with a free speech argument you will be wasting your time.

This is also awesome: "Mike Tait is a Philadelphia tour guide who is filing a lawsuit today against the city to secure his constitutional rights."

Photo by waffler, Creative Commons license

Posted by D-Mac at 12:48 PM | Comments (1)

June 24, 2008

Jocelyn Kirsch Now Being Sued

Hey, Jocelyn Kirsch is back in the news again! This time she hasn't done anything newsworthy like work at a Starbucks or get charged with a felony. No, a stylist Jocelyn "Bonnie" Kirsch allegedly ripped off is suing her.

This was the greatest haircut of all time, apparently, since she's suing for $50,000. Oh, I see: The suit says 25-year-old Jennifer Bisicchia "has had to endure emotional stress from the case." So she totally deserves 50 grand! The hairstyling and extensions part of the lawsuit is a mere $2,500.

According to the lawsuit, Bisicchia also received angry text messages in the middle of the night! All of the following is [sic], of course:

HELLO JEN BISICCHIA. YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME. BUT I KNOW YOURS. I ALSO KNOW UR NICE PLACE ON ... ST AND HOW U GET HOME AT NIGHT. YOURE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT VISITORS AT UR DOOR. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE GOTTEN URSELF INTO. YOU SEEM LIKE A SMART GIRL. WALK AWAY NOW OR YOU WILL REGRET IT

After receiving that text, Bisicchia then made her boyfriend sit outside of her door, all night. He better get a cut of that $50k.

Payback time: Stylist behind 'Bonnie's' tresses files suit [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:27 AM | Comments (0)

June 03, 2008

Sammy D's Speed Racer Lawsuit

Oh, how did I almost forget: Yesterday, TMZ posted documents of Samuel Dalembert's lawsuit against a group of business partners he says scammed him out of money he invested. Apparently, he gave over a million dollars to a group that was to license Speed Racer merchandise; the lawsuit contends the group never even owned the rights to Speed Racer.

Oh, yeah, and look: Teddy Pendergrass II is also named in the lawsuit!

The Daily News points out: "In an unrelated development, Dalembert has withdrawn from a scheduled trip to India with the NBA's Basketball Without Borders initiative to concentrate on training with the Canadian national team as it attempts to secure a berth in this summer's Beijing Olympics." Unrelated? I don't know, I bet it has something to do with this Speed Racer lawsuit.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:02 PM | Comments (0)

June 02, 2008

Rick's Steaks Loses Legal Battle

Hey, while nobody was paying attention, a judge issued a ruling on May 9 that effectively ended Rick's Steaks' battle to stay in the Reading Terminal Market. Sadness! KYW 1060 gets the quote from Rick Olivieri himself:

"That's getting a little too legal for me, you might want to contact my attorney about that."

Oh. Ha ha, they actually broadcast that quote on the radio several times! Rick's Steaks was originally supposed to be out of the market by June 2007, so he bought himself about a year.

Judge's Ruling a Setback for Rick's Steaks [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:43 AM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2008

Boy Scouts Sue City

The Boy Scouts have sued the city for attempting to kick the local council out of its building near the Parkway. For the uninitiated: Those who do their duty to do their best to God and their country also don't allow gays to do any of that in their little club, so the city decided it was kicking the Cradle of Liberty Council out of its 22nd and Winter building (which the city leases to the Scouts for one dollar a year.)

The Scouts' lawsuit says the city leases property to about 100 groups with membership criteria for under $2,000 a year, without any attempt to kick them out of their properties.

The lawsuit mentions the Roman Catholic Church of the Maternity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which the suit says has paid a nominal rent for a church building in Pennypack Park since 1935; Zion Baptist Church, which pays $25 a year to lease three parcels of recreational land for the Clara Baldwin Home for seniors; and Women for Greater Philadelphia and the Colonial Dames of America, which have free perpetual leases for historic mansions in Fairmount Park. "This city allows numerous organizations to use city-owned property and does not necessarily refuse them based on restrictions on membership," said Center City lawyer Jason P. Gosselin, who filed the suit on behalf of the Cradle of Liberty Council.

City Solicitor Shelley R. Smith said she believes the difference between the Boy Scouts and the other groups that lease city land or buildings is that the other groups do not discriminate in the social services they provide. Smith said you cannot be a Boy Scout if you are openly gay or an atheist: "If we find that these other groups are doing that, we will take the appropriate action."

You got that, atheists? You gotta get down to the courthouse and file all your complaints against the Colonial Dames of America.

In related news, Congress is having a fundraiser for the Boy Scouts. Up to $3.5 million! Update: And Ron Paul voted for the bill. He secretly loves the federal reserve!

Boy Scouts sue city in building dispute [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:21 AM | Comments (4)

May 05, 2008

Suit: Dykstra Spending All Our Cash

Last week, news broke that former Phillies centerfielder Lenny Dykstra (at right, looking creepy as all heck, with Jim Cramer) was being sued by his publishing partner after just one issue of his magazine The Players Club, aimed at rich athletes.

Dykstra is also suing publishing partner Doubledown Media; he actually filed his lawsuit first. But let's get to the quote from the lawsuit against him:

"Over a relatively short period of time, Dykstra proved himself to be a mercurial, difficult client whose many idiosyncrasies and demanding personality imposed substantial costs on the planned publications and created excessive burdens for Doubledown," reads the suit. "At the same time, Dykstra began shirking his financial obligations to Doubledown beginning in late 2007 and continuing into 2008, repeatedly driving up expenses and increasing the overall costs of the publications at a time when he, on information and belief, lacked the cash to pay for such expenses."

What is it with athletes and carwashes, anyway? No word if The Players Club will ever be publishing a second issue, but let's just assume it's gone to that great big magazine rack in the sky.

Lenny Dykstra Sued By Publishing Partner [Mixed Media]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:28 AM | Comments (1)

April 25, 2008

Bank Sues Bank Robber

The day after Christmas, a man robbed the Huntingdon Valley Bank of $38,000. The alleged robber, Richard Boyle, was arrested. And now the bank is suing him for the money back.

I didn't know banks could sue bank robbers, but I suppose it makes sense; Laurie Mason of the Courier Times writes it's "an unusual move." The head of the American Bankers Association says even she's never heard of such a lawsuit. "It's very unusual,” Margot Mohsberg said. "Robbers don't usually have much money, so unless there are some unique circumstances here it would seem like a futile effort."

Boyle's lawyer, though, says his client has no assets and is "judgment-proof." The bank couldn't be reached for comment, but if it needs to sue a bank robber to get 38 grand back, its employees were clearly out checking coin return slots for quarters.

Bank sues suspected robber [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2008

Google Sued Over Street View

By now you're probably familiar with Google Street View, the totally neat-o Google Maps add on that allows us to see hilarious street drug deals captured by Google's roving camera van.

In the Philadelphia area, Google Street View contains most of Center City -- with strange gaps, such as the 1500 block of Sansom Street¹-- as well as suburbs as far as Bristol, Wilmington and Newark.

Well, enjoy it while you can, suckers! A Pittsburgh couple is suing Google, claiming Street View "violated their privacy, devalued their property and caused them mental suffering."

Fair enough. But, whoops, Google says apparently you can get your house off Google Street View if you want to, meaning that if this thing is publicized enough a ton of streets will be removed and the tool will be worthless. "There's no merit to this action," Google spokesman Larry Yu said. "It is unfortunate litigation was chosen to address the concern because we have visible tools, such as a YouTube video, to help people learn about imagery removal and an easy-to-use process to facilitate image removal." Still, no one has explained why Google Street View was done in Pittsburgh.

Oh, and that YouTube video? Right here.

¹ They also have my parents' street, a horseshoe street near Franklin Mills, and don't have mine, which is in Center City.

Lawsuit Claims Google Maps Violates Privacy [AP/CBS 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:22 AM | Comments (3)

February 11, 2008

Breasts To Remain Uncovered

After a two-year legal battle, a judge in New Jersey has thrown out a lawsuit brought by a prison guard claiming she was too well-endowed to wear a protective vest.

Stacey Wilson-Smith, an employee of South Woods State Prison for 25 years, sued the state's Department of Corrections after being repeatedly sent home and then put on unpaid medical leave for refusing to wear the state-issued and mandated protective vest. "Let's just say she's full-bodied," said her lawyer, calling her fat nicely.

Wilson-Smith alleged the vest caused her pain and left her vulnerable to a shiv attack from an inmate. She wasn't allowed to purchase her own vest.

"If she had big feet, would they force her to wear boots that are too small?" her lawyer asked the Courier-Post. You can search online, but somehow I don't think this is her.

Judge: Vest doesn't make for suit [Camden Courier-Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:50 PM | Comments (8)

February 06, 2008

YIKES!!!! Wachovia Sued For... Something

Hey, so little underdog financial services company Wachovia is apparently in a little bit of trouble. No, it's not that confusing slavery thing; the company is alleged to have let telemarketers steal millions of dollars from its customers!

According to the lawsuit, filed last month in Philly, oh... this is super confusing, too:

The plaintiffs accused Wachovia of allowing some "payment processors" to create authorized, unsigned checks on behalf of telemarketers to withdraw funds from customer accounts between 2003 and 2006, court papers show.

They also accused Wachovia of trying to win or retain business from companies that it knew were accused of telemarketing fraud, despite being alerted by other banks about the deceptive activity, the papers show.

Continue reading "YIKES!!!! Wachovia Sued For... Something"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 08, 2007

Restaurant Weak

On the left, the advertisement for Center City Restaurant Week. At right, the ad for South Jersey Restaurant Week (apparently featuring hot chefs). The Restaurant Week on the left was started in 2003. The one on the right, in 2005.

And now the people behind the one on the lefthave sued the people behind the one on the right.

The Center City District's lawsuit, filed Nov. 1, asserts the ads of South Jersey Restaurant Week -- held at a different time than Center City Restaurant Week -- are "confusingly similar" to the CCD's Restaurant Week ads. And "column list of restaurants with red background" is trademarked by CCD, watch out. But as a commenter on the Food and Drinq (har) blog comments, "Philly's is 3 courses for $30, SJ's is 4 courses for 30 - that's a major difference." That might be enough to turn the case.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:27 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

September 24, 2007

Ridiculous Web Comments Proven Awesome, Legal

From your friend and mine, Anthony DiMeo:

"Without a doubt, Tucker Max has exploited my good name and image, and he and his following have published scurrilous lies about me on his Web site . . . I did not file the DiMeo v. Max lawsuit out of vengeance but to stop further damage to my good name, character and solid reputation."

U.S. Court of Appeals Third Circuit dismissed DiMeo's appeal of his lawsuit against Tucker Max for a hillion jillion dollars or whatever. You hear that, Mark B. Cohen and your penis? Inane, angry ridiculous commenters always win! Now somebody get me Alycia Lane in a bikini.

A break for bloggers [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:23 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)

September 06, 2007

Mayor Street Resurfaces, Complains About Suburbs

Hey, everybody, John Street's back! Yes, for the first time since he got an iPhone -- that price drop has to be making steam come out his ears! -- John Street has made a public statement, and it's to warn all those ruffians making noise that they'd better stop. No, not people shooting other people, but Merion residents suing to keep the Barnes Foundation out of Philadelphia!

Okay, so these lines are getting kind of old, but, whatever, when's the last time you saw Mayor Street doing anything? After signing the bill that would turn over land on the Ben Franklin Parkway to the Barnes Foundation for the museum's relocation, he lashed out at the lawsuit filers:

"These are just people who are litigating almost for litigation's sake."

Street said some of those suing are the same people who battled the Barnes over a whole host of issues: "In years past, if you didn't know better, you'd believe that they really didn't want the Barnes collection there. They're standing there with meters counting the cars that come in. They did everything they could to restrict access to the collection."

Actually, that's how I feel about almost all litigation. Anyway, welcome back, Mr. Mayor!

Mayor Sounds Off At Merion Residents Over Barnes Move [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

August 23, 2007

Mark Cohen Would Like You To Know His Penis Is Not Afraid Of Itself

Here is what's funny: When state lawmakers say things like, "All over the country, people live longer lives because of me." Here is what's funnier: When state lawmakers propose a Phillyblog Day. Here's what's even funnier: When state lawmakers make a post about reaching a certain number of posts on Phillyblog.

Even funnier than that is when state lawmakers go through and make a list of the posters on an Internet messageboard with 1,000 posts or more. And even funnier than that is when there's a sort by posts, descending order feature on said messageboard but the lawmaker doesn't know about it so he goes through and calculates all the top posts by hand.

And, of course, even funnier than that is when state lawmakers tell reporters they're being libeled because of comments on a blog that are posted by "MBC Penis" and say "I feel threatened by philly blog and Rep. Mark B. Cohen's penis."

Continue reading "Mark Cohen Would Like You To Know His Penis Is Not Afraid Of Itself"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:19 PM | Comments (38) | TrackBack (0)

August 01, 2007

SEPTA Transfers Get Last-Minute Stay

Although the SEPTA board voted to eliminate transfers a while ago, everybody waited until late last week to get overly angry about it, most likely dooming any chances of actually keeping transfers and saving people money.

Or wait! Somehow, the delay might not have mattered, as a judge ordered SEPTA to continue selling transfers with a temporary injunction.

SEPTA originally complained it didn't have any more transfer slips -- they apparently buy them individually -- but then "found" a bunch of other slips to get through the week. And SEPTA is crying foul:

But attorney Thomas S. Biemer, representing SEPTA, said that the case was simple. "The city is trying to substitute its discretion on how to run a railroad for SEPTA's discretion," he said.

Biemer argued that in a case such as this, the court may overturn the decision of a government agency only if the agency exhibited "manifest and flagrant" abuse of its discretion. That did not happen here, he told the judge. In fact, he said, the SEPTA board rejected an alternative that would have raised the cost of tokens for all riders.

"Your Honor is not supposed to substitute your discretion for SEPTA's discretion," Biemer said. "Neither can the city. They just don't like what SEPTA did."

Oh snap! The injunction says in effect until Monday, at which time SEPTA will introduce a MetroCard-style system with new machines that don't spit your money out every time.

Judge orders SEPTA to continue selling bus transfers [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

July 09, 2007

A.I. To Pay $260K For Posse's Beatdown

A jury ruled today that Allen Iverson, late of our local cager franchise, has to pay 260 grand because his posse beat somebody up:

Marlin Godfrey and David Anthony Kittrell sued the Denver Nuggets guard, saying they were beaten by his entourage in July 2005 after they refused to vacate the Eyebar club's VIP section for Iverson. ¶ The jury found that Kane was liable for assaulting Godfrey, who was awarded $250,000 for pain and suffering and $10,000 for his medical bills. Iverson was found negligent for failing to supervise Kane.

The other dude got nothing, apparently. Ha ha, sucks to be him.

Man awarded $260,000 in suit against Iverson following club brawl [AP/SI.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 27, 2007

Everyone's Suing Allen Iverson These Days

Although he's been out of the city since being traded last winter, it's still nice to see what Allen Iverson is up to nowadays. (Remember him? #1 pick? Led the team to the 2001 Finals? Come on, that wasn't that long ago! The city went nuts for it! Sigh.)

Anyway, apparently since he left town he's being sued by everyone who's been in a nightclub with him. As usual, the alleged problem isn't A.I. himself, but his goofy entourage, who without Jerry Stackhouse's posse to rumble with anymore is sometimes down to causing other trouble.

He's being sued for $20 million in federal civil court over an alleged beating his posse delivered to two men who sat in his reserved seats at a nightclub in D.C. The plaintiffs even wanted 50 Cent to testify because he's familiar with Iverson's security crew. The judge denied this, natch, since 50 Cent wasn't at the nightclub, nor does he live in the DC area.

However, the court may be entertained a bit, since the plaintiffs' attorneys are asking for the right to show an episode of Punk'd.

It seems the clip shows Iverson being told that he can't get into a nightclub party until the Bush twins leave -- totally not true, ha ha, but a typical gag from the VIP practical-joke TV show -- and a friend getting up in the bouncer's face insisting that he has to get his man inside. This is relevant, lawyers say, because it shows the relationship Iverson had with the entourage[.]

Ha ha, that was a great episode of Punk'd. Then Iverson joined up with the Punk'd crew and got to punk Jermaine O'Neal, remember? Man, that was sweet. If I was a judge I'd totally want to watch that episode again.

Oh, and another lawsuit against A.I. is moving forward as well from a 2004 incident. If he loses both lawsuits, I think he'll be okay, because I hear he has lots of money bagz.

Can He Handle Defense At This Kind of Court? [WaPo]
Names & Faces [WaPo]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:34 PM | Comments (19) | TrackBack (0)

May 09, 2007

You Were Right: There *IS* Something Weird About Those Kids Who Dress Up Like Knights And Fight On The Green

Your baseless fears from college were confirmed today when the group that those those kids who used to dress up like knights and pretend fight on the green belonged to was sued for allegedly failing to protect children from a child molester.

Four boys and two girls, unidentified in the lawsuit, sued the Society for Creative Anachronism, charging the group failed to protect them from Benjamin Schragger, who pled guilty but mentally ill in 2004 to involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, child rape, indecent assault and related charges.

Although having no contact with the Society for Creative Anachronism, founded by medieval studies graduate student Diana Paxson in 1966, you nonetheless felt there was something weird throughout college about those kids who pretended to be knights.

"There's something weird about those guys," you said to your freshman year roommate, who this girl you were seeing hooked up with the following year. "But I don't know quite what it is."

You only learned of the group's name in 2002, while at a reading for a class by a teacher you had a falling out with later that year. A student of his other writing class read a piece about a local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism, cluing you in on the origins of the group, the 30,000 members worldwide and the group's celebration of the medieval period.

And now you know that Schragger, known as "Lord Ben the Steward" to local children in Tripoli, a town about 60 miles northwest of Philadelphia, pled guilty to abusing 11 children over a six-year period from 1997 to 2003.

"Yep, pedophiles," you said to yourself after hearing this story. "That sounds about right."

Evidence that not all members of the Society for Creative Anachronism are pedophiles was forthcoming to you when you heard of the story. That Lord Ben the Steward was in charge of the youth program of the East Kingdom of the SCA seemed to counteract this, however.

"I can usually spot a pedophile from a mile away," you thought, ignoring the fact you cannot spot a pedophile from a mile away, not even that priest you met in fourth grade. "I bet these middle ages geeks are all pedos! I mean, the house was called 'Tulgey Woods.' If that doesn't sound like a made-up pedophile word I don't know what does."

Complaint Filed Against Medieval Group Over Sex Abuse [AP/6 ABC]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:24 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)

April 18, 2007

Smokin' Joe Sues Papers-Hoardin' Jackie

Like Bill Cosby, former heavyweight boxing champ Joe Frazier is one of the many beloved Philadelphians who became ridiculously grumpy old men once they became, ah, old men. Frazier's in the news again because he's returning to boxing to fight Muhammad Ali.

Well, okay, not really. But he is suing his daughter, Jackie Frazier-Lyde, a former heavyweight champion herself and candidate for judge next month.

Frazier's suit says his daughter hasn't returned his business records and, although Smokin' Joe still "loves his daughter," he wants his papers back. These include, of course, "documents, contracts, agreements, photos, films, memorabilia, recordings, archives, correspondence, material, writings, deeds and other interests related to efforts to market his image."

If you're wondering, yes, this lawsuit is all about Joe Frazier not making enough money. And if you needed more evidence, here's his lawyer: "Joe doesn't think he's making what he thinks he should be making." Joe's lawyer, Michael P. Kelly, is also a former boxer.

It's reassuring to know boxers settle their not by fighting, but by doing it the way good Americans do: Sue the pants off each other.

Frazier hits a daughter with lawsuit [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 17, 2007

Pa. Man No Longer Allowed To Hunt For Food

Ever spend time in your backyard -- what the hell's a backyard? -- wondering just what would make your 4th of July cookout or Memorial Day hoedown even better? Well, there is a way: Have a hunter move in next door!

A judge in Easton yesterday ordered a couple to stop shooting in the backyard of their Lower Saucon Township home. The preliminary injunction prevents the two die-hard hunters from firing at targets or pigeons or whatever. And why did the neighbors seek an injunction against the backyard hunters?

"How would you like to have a picnic at your home and have this guy shooting 18 feet away?"

But things aren't all odd quotes designed to elicit a "I wouldn't like it" response. Township police filed 19 gun charges against the hunter, Richard Seruga, but 17 of them were thrown out since he didn't violate any local gun laws. The township responded by banning shooting within 450 feet of any residence. Sergua is, naturally, claiming conspiracy and has filed a lawsuit. Ain't this country grand?

Couple ordered to stop target shooting [Express Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:05 AM | Comments (31) | TrackBack (0)

April 11, 2007

This Is About As Funny As Court Cases Get

The court case of Equal v. Splenda began yesterday. This is a story that continues to be in the news, even though nobody knows why, but it's in Philly, and it seems like we should be writing about it, so we all are. (I, of course, am no innocent bystander here.)

And yesterday, the two parties traded zingers. The Inquirer's John Shiffman:

"You shouldn't be allowed to mislead consumers and get away with $200 million," [Equal's lawyer] told jurors. "You shouldn't be allowed to mislead consumers with children that their product is natural and that, therefore, you should buy it."

Yes, you should not be allowed to mislead consumers using children. Agreed!

[Splenda's lawyer] mocked his opponents' brand name: "Equal? Equal to what? . . . The functional equivalent of sugar."

Ho ho! BURN!

Splenda marketing sour, jury told in Equal suit [Inquirer]
Monday: Sweet 'N' Low To Sit This One Out

Posted by D-Mac at 02:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

April 09, 2007

Sweet 'N' Low To Sit This One Out

A federal court in Philadelphia is prepping for the biggest battle in U.S. history: A fight between two artificial sweeteners.

Americans, as you know, are fatter than King Hippo. (You can also defeat Americans by punching them in the mouth when it opens, then hitting them in the 'x' when their pants fall down.) Since we don't want to change any of our habits, we've decided to keep consuming the same fattening things, only, ah, a little less fattening, hence the popularity of artificial zero-calorie sweeteners.

Equal is suing Splenda (well, the companies that make them are; if artificial sweeteners became sentient and sued each other in federal court, I guarantee you would have heard about this before already). At issue is the advertising tagline "Made from sugar" on Splenda packets. Equal this makes it seem like it has sugar in it; Splenda is actually made by (this is true) replacing atoms in table sugar with chlorine. (Yum!)

As such, Equal wants the tagline off, or maybe have it changed to "This product contains chlorine atoms," or perhaps simply listing the chemical name for Splenda, 1,6-Dichloro-1,6-dideoxy- β-
D-fructofuranosyl-4- chloro-4-deoxy- α-D-galactopyranoside.

Makers Of Sugar Sweeteners Fight Over Ad Claims [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 06, 2007

Ex-Hickory High Principal Sues Jimmy Chitwood

Looks like Diane Gibbons isn't the only Pennsylvanian who likes to take out aggressions on kids!

Out in Western Pennsylvania, former high school principal Eric W. Trosch is suing a former student who made a fake Myspace profile about him.

The lawsuit alleges that Myspace profiles created in December 2005 while Trosch was principal of Hickory High School humiliated him, damaged his reputation and impacted his earning capability. Nonetheless, Hickory High fought through the hardship and rallied to win the state basketball championship despite only having six players on the team.

Trosch's attorney said the profiles "went far and beyond what you would see on a bathroom wall in a school." He continued: "Also, the profile was friends only with those fake porn profiles. Trosch is way more popular than that."

Principal Sues Former Students Over Fake MySpace Page [6 ABC]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 20, 2007

Fall Out Boy Cribbed From 99 Percent Of Local Bands

The Daily News' Dan Gross reports today on the band the kids tell me is hip and popular today, Fall Out Boy. Apparently, local artist Nicholas Hans is thinking of suing the band for stealing his idea.

This is the second alleged Fall Out Boy-related thievery in weeks, as Gross reported earlier this month the band had reached an out-of-court settlement with Wesley Eisold, who the band lists as co-writing several songs on Infinity on High. The band apparently took lyrics from songs written by Eisold and performed by his old band, American Nightmare, on its previous album.

And what did they allegedly crib from Hans? Well, in 2001 Hans' band Knives Out toured and sold a shirt with a drawing of a wrist with a ribbon on it that says "Do not open until Christmas." The lyric "The ribbon on my wrist says, 'Do not open before Christmas,'" is on a 2005 Fall Out Boy album.

Hans says the band "100 percent ripped us off." Nicholas Hans is also planning action against Radiohead, for its song "Knives Out" on 2001's Amnesiac, NBC for unauthorized use of the characters Hans and Franz and Santa Claus for stealing that whole "St. Nicolas" thing.

Dan Gross | Fall Out Boy is in his sights [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)