April 18, 2008

Larry West Supports... No One!

Now that Jesus White has delivered his endorsement, it's about time we found out who ineligible mayoral candidate Larry West thinks should be mayor.

And what do you know! He emailed me a little bit ago:

Hey, how are you? Long time, no write, huh? Well, I'm working on a new site and campaign called "None of the Above", where I basically say that no one running should be President. The front runners are only "OK" in my eyes. There's more to come, but have a few images you may like [see at right--dmac]

More images here.

-Larry

So there you go: Uhh... nobody. I assume when he writes "the front runners," he means Clinton and Obama and not John McCain. In fact, I'm pretty sure of that.

Posted by D-Mac at 06:50 PM | Comments (3)

January 29, 2008

Everyone Lining Up To Run Against Fumo

A.J. at Phillymag reported last night Johnny Doc is considering a run for Vince Fumo's State Senate seat. With (bi hottie) Anne Dicker already running alpaca cartoons and related fun anti-Fumo ads and multiple posts on Young Philly Politics saying some people you've never heard of should run, it could be a crowded race come primary time. Will Larry West throw his hat into the ring?

Daulerio's source sums it up this way: If Fumo wins the primary, he could drop out after it and essentially handpick his successor. Johnny Doc could swoop in and take the senate seat from the 30-year vet and then he could have all the alpacas he wanted. If only it was Pennsylvania and not New Jersey where alpaca farming is booming, maybe everyone could get along and vacuum up alpaca hair in peace.

Also: Dammit, I missed Larry West's auction for a signed print of a drawing of Pamela Anderson!

Update: It's confirmed! And here's his hilarious quote! "My family’s been living in this area for 100 years. At one time, I had 11 aunts and uncles in one house, that same house I raised my daughter."

BREAKING: Johnny Doc Considering Run for Fumo’s Seat [The Daily Examiner]

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November 21, 2007

Having Conquered Philly, Larry West Heads Overseas

Much like Official Election Resluts Thread, sometimes Larry Just gets a little too excited. But, yeah, Danish TV, 2 p.m. today, apparently. I can only assume he's appearing on the Danish version of The Singing Bee.

Larry West to Make his Danish TV Debut! [Mark Skull aka Larry West, apparently]
May 16: Larry West All Ready For General Election

Posted by D-Mac at 09:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 09, 2007

Register To Vote For Exciting Already-Decided Election

We are now less than a month away from the most exciting time of the year -- i.e. the election between midterms and presidential. Could those odd-year elections be any more exciting?

Oh, yeah, there's also a mayor's race in Philadelphia between the guy who's going to win (Michael Nutter) and the guy who's going to lose (Al Taubenberger). And don't forget the third-party candidates John Staggs (Socialist Workers, eligible to run for mayor, actually on ballot) and Larry West (independent, not eligible to run for mayor, not on ballot).

If you are very excited to vote for Mayor Al or meatpacker Staggs, be sure to note: Today is the last day you can register for the election in Pennsylvania. If you don't vote, nothing will happen, but you lose your right to complain about the guy you voted for who's not paying attention to your stupid pet causes.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:24 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

September 04, 2007

Mayor's Race To Excite ~5 Percent Of Residents

Hey, kids! Don't forget! We got a mayor's race coming up!

Despite Michael Nutter winning the election back in May, there's still a formality of electing him again in November, because of this pesky thing called "democracy" which doesn't let the Democratic party just win every election even though they have a 9π-to-1 (or something) registration edge in the city. And so, Nutter must fight back such candidates as Republican and ex-landscaper Al Taubenberger, awesome meatpacking socialist John Staggs, nobody from the Green Party -- Kerry Foster, where are you? -- and independent ineligible write-in candidate Larry West.

So far, it's been the friendliest mayoral race in history, with Taubenberger going so far as to say that maybe the Democrats haven't done the best job at running the city, but they haven't bombed any city blocks in a while, so, you know. Larry West has also apparently been making the rounds attempting to get the Ozzfest voting bloc, from this comment on his Myspace: "Hahahaha, it was nice meeting you before Ozzfest."

KYW 1060 reports Labor Day is the unofficial start of the campaign season in Philadelphia, but nobody is really going to notice this year since Taubenberger has like 50 bucks in the bank and a website from 1994 with "Page 1" in the title field.

Philadelphia Mayor's Race, Easy To Overlook [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 01, 2007

EXCLUSIVE! Mayor Street's iPhone Revealed!

As you can tell from this exclusive picture of Mayor John Street's iPhone, his 15-hour wait in line wasn't all for naught. The special iPhone the mayor purchased is customized specifically for the City of Philadelphia, with options that snitch, fund SEPTA and lower fares, remove all illegal guns from the streets, fix the Philadelphia public schools, fund city pensions and get the Phillies some pitching help.

The mayor's iPhone fetish angered angry bloggers and other angry bloggers on Friday, making Philadelphia wonder just what John Street would have done to end the tide of murders in this city on Friday, or at least what more he would have done than someone calling him a fuckhead in an entry in WordPress. I get it; the iPhone incident is a good example of why John Street's second term as mayor has been much less successful than New Coke.

The only person to come out good here is none other than ineligible mayoral candidate Larry West, who used John Street's failed publicity stunt as his own publicity stunt, getting on the news and in an Associated Press story, although unfortunately none of the stories mentioned his mayoral candidacy.

But enough of this; it could have been worse. In Washington, D.C., Mayor Adrian Fenty purchased four iPhones after not even waiting in line, leaving customers at the end of the line iPhoneless.

Larry West owns mayor Street, gets on the news [Phillyblog]
DC Mayor Gets His iPhones Delivered; Suck It, Philadelphia! [Wonkette]
Friday: This Kind of Sums Up Eight Years Of John Street
Friday: John Street In Revenge Of The Nerds

Posted by D-Mac at 12:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 25, 2007

A Week Off And Nothing Changes

If you're wondering, I took a week off from blogging because if I didn't take a break soon I'm sure my brain would have melted into a goo of some sort. This might happen anyway, but I'd like to try to avoid that kind of PR nightmare for my death. But just because I wasn't blogging doesn't mean I didn't take notice of the news last week.

There were a few news stories I almost thought about getting off my ass and writing about. I mean, some dude stole about 20 manhole covers, and he was 38! The cops managed to catch him by doing a stakeout, presumably in the sewers under manhole covers. "Okay, here's manhole number 21--" "Gotcha!"

I also really enjoyed the Inquirer's coverage of Wizard World, which included the photo at right. Being a nerd, I played quite a few Final Fantasy games when I was younger and, uh, what the hell have they done to Final Fantasy? Did I ever know any girls who dressed like that when I was 15? Hell, fuck that: Did I ever know any girls who dressed like that and played Final Fantasy when I was 15?¹

Anyway, when I last played a Final Fantasy game, the characters all pretty much looked like this:

Continue reading "A Week Off And Nothing Changes"

Posted by D-Mac at 03:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 05, 2007

Larry West Has A Wikipedia Page

In the "criticism" section:

On an article written by Daniel McQuade, a writer for Philadelphia Weekly for the Philadelphia Will Do blog, he wrote, "It's becoming more and more apparent Larry West is an art-school prank or perhaps the new host of Punk'd."

For the record, Philadelphia Will Do is 100 percent in favor of Larry West's candidacy. I will be sad when Larry's Wikipedia page is nominated for deletion.

Larry West [Wikipedia]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:52 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

June 01, 2007

Larry West Continues This Mayoral Thingy

Larry West continues his art-school prank/mayoral candidacy tomorrow with a rally at his own house! West, as you may know, is only 22, making him ineligible to run for mayor. However, he's working to change that with a petition allowing 18-year-olds to run for mayor. (Apparently, in Pennsylvania anyone over the age of 18 can run for elected office. Frankly, I agree. I like to see kids run for elected office and then lose in a landslide.)

The rally at Larry's house -- it's private, sorry folks -- will include punch, pie and music as well as feature a special concert from Larry, featuring Megadeth's "Peace Sells." West says he'll speak at the rally and explain what happened when he tried to ask for the mayoral nomination at the Green Party meeting earlier this week.

I don't know if West has a shot at the mayoral nomination, though I do hope this leads to the other candidates doing concerts of their own. Michael Nutter can DJ as Mix Master Mike and Al Taubenberger can dance and sing (what else) "The Pennsylvania Polka."

Full release after the jump.

Continue reading "Larry West Continues This Mayoral Thingy"

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May 29, 2007

And We Still Have Five More Months Of This

The election isn't over, Philadelphia! That's the message of ineligible mayoral candidate Sanjaya Larry West, who announced today he had joined the Green Party and would seek their mayoral nomination at tomorrow's meeting. It's becoming more and more apparent Larry West is an art-school prank or perhaps the new host of Punk'd.

Apparently Kerry Foster, the presumed Green Party candidate, didn't get the 2/3 vote required to win the mayoral nomination, so Larry West wants to get on the agenda for the Green Party's meeting and then get some party backing for his ineligible mayoral run. "I've been talking to Brian Rudnick, the Green Party Candidate for the 8th Council District, and he really supports this!" Larry's release says he said.

Continue reading "And We Still Have Five More Months Of This"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 18, 2007

Ineligible Mayoral Candidate Angry Press Isn't Giving Him Shot

Larry West, the mohawked 22-year-old candidate for mayor who is technically ineligible to run, is positioning himself for his independent mayoral candidacy now that the Democratic primary is over.

But he's also lambasting the press for not giving himself, Republican candidate Al Taubenberger and the ghost of Joseph S. Clark enough of a shot.

You can only imagine how aggravating it is to wake up and see people declaring Nutter "Mayor-Elect"; that, despite the fact the actual mayoral election isn't for another 6 months. All the local media outlets began to join in the chorus, Fox News calling him just that, and all the other stations reminding viewers that Philadelphian's have not elected a non-Democrat in over 50 years. But trust me when I say this, I intend on changing that.

I don't know, Larry. I don't know if I can come up with enough agitprop to make Edward R. Murrow cringe to help you in your campaign. We'll see, though.

Never say never! [Larry West for Mayor Blog]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 16, 2007

Larry West All Ready For General Election

OFFICIAL Election Resluts Thread [Phillyblog]

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May 15, 2007

Republican Mayoral Candidate Declares Race 'Exciting'

The text of the web site (mayoral2007.com) of Al Taubenberger, running unopposed today for the Republican nomination for mayor, in full:

I'm as curious as you are in who I'll be running against in the Fall.

It's exciting.

We can bring about real change.
We can attract more jobs.
We can have better policing.
We can better fund the arts.
We can stop waste and have a scandal-free government.
There's a lot of things we can do, and I'll be talking about all of them.

Continue reading "Republican Mayoral Candidate Declares Race 'Exciting'"

Posted by D-Mac at 08:55 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

May 02, 2007

Musicians: Let Us Keep Rittenhouse Square Vibrant

As you may remember, back in March 20-year-old Anthony Riley was arrested for singing in Rittenhouse Square.

And, since then, nobody's been singing in Rittenhouse. The cops claim they're actually doing everyone a favor. And by "everyone" I mean "rich people who moved in around a two-block public park and thought there wouldn't be any noise."

“People are happy as can be that police are keeping the musicians from disturbing the peace,” police spokesman Capt. Ben Naish said yesterday.

Those damn street musicians! Always playing their entertaining jingles and making Rittenhouse Square vibrant for free!

(A little bit after Riley was arrested, he also appeared on the Fox 5 o'clock news -- aka the Kerri-Lee Halkett news -- and explained his plight. The story's not on Fox's website, but City Councilman Frank Rizzo said on the report he was starting a program to get permits for people to play in the park if they -- of course -- pay a fee! This is what I remember; I could be wrong. That seems to also be the rule now, so maybe Rizzo would let them play for cheaper, or for free or something.)

And so, yesterday, to protest the permit one has to obtain to legally play music in Rittenhouse Square, a group of musicians got a permit and raised hell in RIttenhouse Square! And by "raised hell," I mean, "played music to the enjoyment of all."

The protest, of course, included on Larry West, the mohawked 22-year-old candidate for mayor who legally can't even run for mayor. (You have to be 25.) While I was writing this update, of course, Larry West actually called me randomly. But of course!

“It’s about a right to perform in a public place,” said Larry West, the mohawked 22-year-old who made headlines two months ago when he announced he was running for mayor. “I really support this because I’m a musician myself, albeit a bad one.”

Wow! Musician, ineligible mayoral candidate, activist... is there anything Larry West can't do? Do you think the Philadelphia Soul could use another defensive back?

Music fills Rittenhouse in a show of solidarity [Metro]
Rittenhouse Square ... Where only birds can sing [Metro]
[Photo also via Metro, taken by Brian X-Ray McCrone]

Posted by D-Mac at 02:30 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)