Philly.com’s Quest For A Traffic Spike

Ah, yeah, the current Philly.com front is the kind of thing that gets put into museums of pure awesomeness. It was great when I woke up this morning, but since then it’s only gotten about 100 times better. My personal favorite part came when I realized that none of these people pictured are even all that remotely famous, but the new photo arrangement is completely amazing, too.

A friend and reader chimes in: “I think getting Kidd Chris’ thoughts on the whole ordeal puts it over the top. There are just so many layers. It’s getting to the point where I no longer think, ‘Oh, the paper i once loved,’ and instead think ‘Well, this is pretty hilarious.’”

Bravo, Philly.com.

Kidd Chris Fired; B-Day At Whiskey Tango!

Looks like that billboard ought to have said “I will not be racist!” Ho ho! Dan Gross reports 94.1 WYSP’s Kidd Chris has been fired due to a guest’s racist parody song; it was so racist it took the station ’til now to fire him for a broadcast in March. (Gross has a rough transcription of the lyrics.)

The song, a parody of Blondie’s “Call Me,” was titled “Schwoogies” — a Yiddish word meaning “shadows,” used as racist slang for black people like 800 years ago. The artist who did it is Lady Gash, who this blog describes as “THE Premier female song parody artist in all of radio and is one of the best in radio male or female, bar none.” She also apparently did the “Schwoogies” song with Suge Knight White.

Also, look, here’s a response to another question on that blog about a song parody contest or something:

My entry is no SCHWOOGIEs since another racist song would not fit the rules of the contest and since there are no darkies on the staff. Who am i going to go after next… the Jews?

Pfft, yeah, no more racist songs, Lady Gash. Anyway, Kidd Chris was supposed to have his birthday party at freaking Whiskey Tango in the Far, Far Northeast, which is pretty much the funniest part of this whole story.

94 WYSP’s Kidd Chris fired over guest’s racist parody song [Phillygossip]

Blue-Collar Dads In Blue-Collar Caps

Hmm, where were we? Oh, right: The Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Anyway, yesterday the parents showed up to take Jocelyn Kirsch (22, w/ tits) and Edward Anderton (25, w/o) home to get away from Lu Ann Cahn standing out front of their condo.

Anyway, the lawyerly damage control has already begun. Anderton’s family, it turns out, can only afford baseball caps.

“To his parents, this is a lot of money,” Anderton’s attorney, Larry Krasner, told Municipal Court Judge Thomas Gehret yesterday. Krasner, who had few words for reporters, griped to Gehret that their reports had made it look like Anderton “is somehow privileged and he is wealthy.”

Facing Bail Commissioner Dwain Hill at a later hearing, Krasner said: “His father works for a newspaper, and he goes to work in a baseball cap and blue jeans.”

Meanwhile, radio DJ Kidd Chris has offered $2,000 for an interview with Kirsch. Two thousand? Please. Girl’s probably just spent that much on Chris’ credit card just this morning.

Panty Raids Just Another One Of The Many Exciting Adventures One Can Have At A Phillies Game

Whenever I’m watching the news and Lu Ann Cahn comes on, I always think: “Man, I wonder what kind of panties she’s wearing.” Well, okay, actually, no, this kind of thinking is more reserved for Erin O’Hearn; no offense, Ms. Cahn.

Anyway, apparently somebody thinks that about Cahn. Namely, one Peter Goldman (aka Danny Ozark from the Kidd Chris show) apparently thinks that way, since he met a girl at the Phillies game housesitting for Cahn and went into her bedroom and rummaged through her underwear drawer.

Once there, Ozark and his pal rummaged through Cahn’s underwear and, Ozark, who admitted, “I’m just a freak,” said he hoped to try some on, but he could tell it wouldn’t fit him. She had government-issued really bad underwear . . . I wish she felt more sexier, because she’s beautiful. I feel like I should get her red thong panties,” he said.”

More sexier, eh? Cahn tells Dan Gross she’s “really upset” by this and Goldman/Ozark says he thinks she’s beautiful. Ooh, I smell romance!

Panty raid! [Daily News]

Sorry, Milton Street Needs More Than An Hour-Long Interview To Learn Your Name, Radio DJs

Earlier this week, Kidd Chris coined the term “Milton Man March” and had Milton Street on for an entire hour.

It was fantastic. You couldn’t go two minutes without hearing “Watermelon Man.” Plus, Milton talked about the people should be able to get the choice to reject him. However, ol’ Uncle Milty might’ve not been paying attention so much. Consider this exchange near the end of the hour long interview.

Yes, after being on the Kidd Chris show for almost an hour, Milton Street was asked if he’d wear a Kidd Chris t-shirt during the Milton Man March. And Milton asked who Kidd Chris was. Of course, he then said he would wear a Kidd Chris shirt, which means that’s another broken campaign promise.

The Kidd Chris Show [94 FreeFM]
Wednesday: Tomorrow: Milton Man March