February 06, 2008

Guy You Don't Know Apologizes

Hey, remember when Louis DeNaples said that he couldn't recognize John Street because all black people look the same to him? No? Come on, he's the casino guy who allegedly lied about his mob ties, and we want corporations to make a ton of money on gambling, not mobsters.

Well, anyway, he apologized.

I want to apologize for the insensitivity of this remark. It was wrong, I shouldn't have said it, and I am very sorry that I did. It came during the course of an exhaustive day of testimony, and it occurred as I was being shown a number of black and white photographs and being asked whether I recognized any of the individuals in the photos.

When I answered, I was referring to my inability to distinguish the people in those photos, and I just didn't do a very good job of making that point. My remark really was in reference to the difficulty I was having identifying anyone in the photos.

Continue reading "Guy You Don't Know Apologizes"

Posted by D-Mac at 02:11 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

February 01, 2008

Mayor Nutter Drinks Brains Of John Street

Last night at TLA/Philebrity screening series at National Mechanics -- I'm totally going next week for Dr. Strangelove -- Michael Nutter was there. Super cool. And, if you know anything about National Mechanics' pint glasses, they have photos of, erhm, famous Philadelphians on them like Bill Cosby and Gary Heidnik.

And somebody was smart enough to get this photo:

Yep. That's Michael Nutter, drinking from a John Street glass. This is way better than when I was in high school and we used to see John Street at Franklin Mills.

Photo by Pete Radocaj
Thanks, Alex!

Posted by D-Mac at 10:51 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

January 31, 2008

Well, At Least He's Honest About It

Louis DeNaples in 2006 told investigators from the state Gaming Control Board: "To me, black people all look alike."

Eh, it's not really all that much different from John Street asking if a dead Frank Sinatra would make a campaign appearance for him.

Street 'wouldn't recognize' big donor [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 03, 2008

2008 Brings Triumphant Return Of Milton

Ohh, Milton! After dropping out of the public eye for many months after defeating only two candidates in the Democratic City Council At-Large primary, Milton Street is back!

By "Milton's back", of course, I mean the federal government is preparing for the fraud and tax evasion trial of the mayor's brother. But, hey, same thing!

Friday, prosecutors filed court papers detailing their plan to nab Ol' Uncle Milty. They're prepared to call 47 witnesses, including Milton's son (Thomas Milton Street Junior!) and a "woman familiar with Street's wagering practices at Philadelphia Turf Club," according to the Daily News. (You see? Barbaro is involved with this case, too.)

Connie Little, a former top aide to the mayor, could testify about money paid to Milton Street from Mayor Street's campaign! All in all, it's going to be a great little trial, and you can expect Philadelphia Will Do to cover it with the furor of an Alycia Lane uppercut.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 27, 2007

Street's Last Act To Whip City Into Shape

Leave it to John Street to introduce an initiative that references the 12 Days of Christmas... after Christmas. Yes, one of the mayor's final acts in office is the city's new health initiative.

You may remember John Street as the guy who's in actual shape and who takes care of himself, unlike a previous mayor who shall remain nameless. Street got the city out of the pointless #1 spot in Men's Health's fattest cities list, and now he's doing belated Christmas caroling.

"On the twelth day of Christmas, the Mayor gave to me, 12 celebrations, 11 bikin' buddies, 10 acts of kindness, 9 sunlight minutes, 8 tips on eating, 7 hours of resting, 6 lung expansions, 5 super greens, 4 luscious fruits, 3 action workouts, 2 water jugs, and a health plan, en-tire-ly FREE!"

Whee. Now that's a convincing list to get you into shape.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:14 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

December 11, 2007

Bill Clinton Comes To Philadelphia

Hide your daughters! America's favorite philandering president of the 20th century (Protestant division) is in town today. Bill Clinton's speaking at a fundraiser for his wife at the Constitution Center. John Street is expected to be there as well, so somebody better get a photo of Clinton with Street looking goofy or I'm gonna be really disappointed.

(The mayor's press release, incidentally, calls him "William Clinton.")

It's tonight at 7:30. Coincidentally, that's the same time as tonight's rock paper scissors event at Dirty Frank's.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 20, 2007

Ha Ha John Street Got An Angry Jesus Fax

The Inquirer's Heard in the Hall reports of an angry fax Mayor Street got from Jesus regarding his decision to officiate a gay marriage this Saturday (the people at right are sadly neither the complainers nor the people getting married):

No, Mayor Street, Same-Sex Marriage is Not Legal In Pennsylvania

(Philadelphia) – Outgoing Mayor John Street’s decision to perform a same-sex commitment ceremony on Saturday at City Hall offers a further explanation in the course Philadelphia has taken in the past several years. Today the American Family Association of Pennsylvania (AFA of PA), a statewide group which supports Pennsylvania’s one man, one woman marriage law and the effort to pass a Marriage Protection Amendment to the PA Constitution, faxed the mayor a letter of concern outlining the wrong messages that will be sent by his involvement in Saturday’s activities.

“Mayor Street has drifted off course during his political career. Once a strong advocate for traditional values, he can no longer be trusted to uphold those values that are supposedly part of his belief system,” said Diane Gramley, President of the AFA of PA.

Continue reading "Ha Ha John Street Got An Angry Jesus Fax"

Posted by D-Mac at 12:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

November 09, 2007

Street, Nutter Best Friends All Of A Sudden

Guess who Mayor Street asked to be a guest speaker at his Temple class? Our esteemed mayor-elect, Michael Nutter. Nutter praised himself, apparently: "I think that'd probably be one of the most well-attended classes that he gives."

More Nutter on Street: "He wants things to be as smooth as possible and I greatly appreciate that. We’re two very deeply passionate caring public servants, and from time to time we might have a difference of opinion about some public policy sisues. It’s not personal. And I think Mayor Street wants to make sure that the city of Philadelphia ... functions and operates well after his term is up."

On a side note, Mayor Street's adjunct professorship at Temple made the front cover of Metro today. Things are looking up for Johnny in his final weeks.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 08, 2007

Temple Having A Great Day

Fun fact: Back in 2003, Bill Cosby believed John Street was being investigated by the Bush White House for being a black Democrat and (presumably) supported him in his bid for mayor.

Well, in related news, John Street is going to teach at Temple after he's done being mayor. A release says:

As an adjunct professor of political science, Mayor Street will teach two sections of a course whose topics will include the challenges of improving and funding public schools; the development of such major capital projects as stadiums and convention centers; public support for the arts, tourism, and recreational facilities; the city’s role in assisting private businesses and developers in locating and financing capital projects; and the design and execution of comprehensive programs to reduce inner-city blight and transform commercial districts and residential neighborhoods.

Street will also be teaching a class titled "The Wacky Hairstyles of Politicians, from James K. Polk to John Street."

Posted by D-Mac at 02:18 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

October 29, 2007

John Street A Serial Wheelchair Pretender

On Friday, John Street's legs were kinda tired so he decided to spend the entire day in a wheelchair.

Okay, no, actually, Street wanted to see what it was like to be disabled, and he said he learned a lot about accessibility issues in City Hall from it. However, much like anything else Street does -- say, waiting in line for an iPhone to show how in touch with technology this city is -- instead of making him look concerned or sensitive, it just makes him look like an idiot.

"I'm having today a sensitivity experience. I'm going to be in this wheelchair all day. This is not the first time I've done this, but every time you do it, you really have a renewed appreciation for the problems associated with disability," Street said. "Even though I'm voluntarily exposing myself to this limitation for the day, already it has been interesting."

His quote is essentiually: "Even though I'm only doing this for a day, already it's been interesting." What, you have to do things for more than one day in order for them to be neat?

Mayor Street Spends The Day In A Wheelchair [CBS 3]
June 29: This Kind Of Sums Up Eight Years Of John Street

Posted by D-Mac at 12:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

October 01, 2007

John Street Booed At Rally Monday™!

Near the end of the ridiculously-attended Rally Monday™ outside City Hall at noon, Phillies PR guy Scott Palmer said the had checked the statistics and it was the largest rally in the history of Dilworth Plaza. While I'm not quite sure they actually keep statistics on things like that, but it was a pretty good crowd. I'm no good at estimating crowds, but let's say there were thousands of people there.

The highlight of the day was the lusty boo Mayor John Street received when he went up to give some sort of Phillies speech. Sadly, he cut it short. Also booed: Adam Eaton and, to a lesser extent, Rod Barajas. And Bill Giles and David Montgomery by the more knowledgeable, angrier fans.

Continue reading "John Street Booed At Rally Monday™!"

Posted by D-Mac at 03:14 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

September 28, 2007

Mayor Street: The Fifth Beatle?

With apologies to, um, everyone.

A recent morning walk by John Street:

We start off at 6:30 in the morning down 13th Street to Spring Garden. Through Community College. Across the Parkway. Along Schuylkill River Park. Past Rittenhouse Square. Up 12th Street back into North Philly.

Seven miles. His short course, he says.

Gotta say, that's somewhat of an impressive walk.

Annette John-Hall | A long walk shows strides Street has made [Inquirer]
[Street photo by Ron Tarver/Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:06 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

September 26, 2007

Mayor Can't Keep Track of All His Wheelings & Dealings

Hey, so remember when John Street tried to get in property tax delinquents? And then he accidentally -- whoops! -- was delinquent on property taxes himself? Well, how'd that happen?

Good luck getting an answer from the mayor, he has no idea!

At issue are tax bills for two of Mayor Street's properties that had not been paid since 2003. Street paid the nearly $5,000 bill only after being told of the matter by a reporter last week. In his first public comments on this, Street said there's confusion over the bills, and said he won't try to straighten it out in the media:

"That's personal, and I'm not going to get into how I pay my bills. Legitimate taxes weren't paid on time, and when I found out, I paid them. And I think that's good enough."

Street also overpaid on some other bills, but he's a millionaire so it doesn't really matter. Ha ha, John Street is a millionaire! What are you going to tell me next, state legislators make six figures? Oh, shit.

Mayor Mum About Why He Failed To Pay Property Taxes [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:52 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

September 20, 2007

Marian Tasco Says What We've All Been Thinking

City Council is back in session, which can only mean one thing: Angry comments from politicians.

Marian Tasco, you're up. How's the Street administration treatin' ya?

"I'm not voting for any legislation generated by this administration - because I don't trust it," said Councilwoman Marian Tasco.

Hmm, I appreciate the sentiment, but what exactly does she not trust Street on. Is he going to pull the football away at the last minute and send Marian Tasco flying through the air?

Phila. council is back: Let jockeying begin [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:30 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

September 06, 2007

Mayor Street Resurfaces, Complains About Suburbs

Hey, everybody, John Street's back! Yes, for the first time since he got an iPhone -- that price drop has to be making steam come out his ears! -- John Street has made a public statement, and it's to warn all those ruffians making noise that they'd better stop. No, not people shooting other people, but Merion residents suing to keep the Barnes Foundation out of Philadelphia!

Okay, so these lines are getting kind of old, but, whatever, when's the last time you saw Mayor Street doing anything? After signing the bill that would turn over land on the Ben Franklin Parkway to the Barnes Foundation for the museum's relocation, he lashed out at the lawsuit filers:

"These are just people who are litigating almost for litigation's sake."

Street said some of those suing are the same people who battled the Barnes over a whole host of issues: "In years past, if you didn't know better, you'd believe that they really didn't want the Barnes collection there. They're standing there with meters counting the cars that come in. They did everything they could to restrict access to the collection."

Actually, that's how I feel about almost all litigation. Anyway, welcome back, Mr. Mayor!

Mayor Sounds Off At Merion Residents Over Barnes Move [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 31, 2007

Mayor Finally Introduced To His Police Commissioner

It may have taken a triple homicide at a bar -- and a bunch of shootings over the weekend -- but Mayor John Street met with Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson for a brainstorming session! This marks the first time the mayor has met Johnson, and the two were said to get along pretty well.

And, apparently their solution is to ban alcohol or something.

A couple of recent shooting incidents drew special attention during the meeting with Mayor John Street: "I am really concerned about bars and the proliferation of shootings and violence that are taking place in bars. We had another triple shooting in a bar over the weekend. We had a triple homicide in a bar the weekend before that."

Hey, the mayor's doing something, everybody! Gather around, this is about as common as a full solar eclipse or the installation of a new pope.

Mayor Meets With Phila. Police Brass To Address City Crisis [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:53 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

July 24, 2007

I Love The Smell of Napalm In The Morning

As you may have seen on the CBS Evening News With Katie Couric's Legs last night, Philadelphia is having a bit of a homicide problem. Well, okay, it's a "homicide problem" in the same way that the Delaware River is "wet." But anyway, you probably didn't see it, actually, since like 14 people watch it, and I'm guessing they're all over the age of 70 and don't have the Internet.

Anyway, now that the homicide crisis has hit national news (uh, again, right?), the mayor has kicked it into high gear and closed a bar where a triple homicide took place after an argument over the Bernard Hopkins fight. (Well, okay, the ridiculous situation might have a lot to do with it, too.)

Anyway, national correspondent Byron Pitts also wrote a blog post about the story, and, hoo, boy.

I’ve seen war up close and there is no mistaking what’s going on in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. War zones have a certain look. A certain feel. There’s even a smell to it. After spending several days in Philadelphia, I must admit there are striking similarities.

Continue reading "I Love The Smell of Napalm In The Morning"

Posted by D-Mac at 03:08 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 23, 2007

Finally, An Easier Way To Bug Mayor Street

It was just a few weeks ago when our very own mayor, John Street, got in line for an iPhone at 3 in the morning (at right). "Go back to work!" the critics jeered. "Stop the murders!" But John Street is the lame duck mayor and so there's not much anyone can do to punish him for, uh, wanting a cool new tech gadget.

Au contraire. You can simply get back at Mayor Street by hacking into his iPhone. Independent Security Evaluators have discovered a simple buffer flow exploit that allows a remote computer to take control of an iPhone if the phone user (in this case, Mayor Street) visits a website designed to do such a thing. In the New York TImes article, the phone follows commands from a remote computer and sends back text messages and contacts.

There are no reports of this exploit actually effecting any phones; right now it's just more of a proof of concept. But still! The Times says the iPhone could even be turned into a portable bugging device. Now how's John Street gonna sweep his office for bugs this time?

IPhone Flaw Lets Hackers Take Over, Security Firm Says [NYT]
June 29: This Kind Of Sums Up Eight Years Of John Street

Posted by D-Mac at 11:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 22, 2007

Breaking: Mayor Finally Does Something Useful

Mayor Street and his bodyguards (!) were walking through North Philly (oh) Friday morning when they spotted a house on fire. And so they did what any city mayor would do: Helped make sure two kids were okay and rescue a cat.

Wearing sweats and a baseball cap, the mayor rushed across the street from the fire and made sure the kids were okay, while one of his bodyguards ran into the house to rescue J-Lo the kitty.

The mayor then went down the street, telling people to evacuate their homes, in case the fire spread. (No word if they followed his suggestion.)

"People say the mayor doesn't do anything, but I really respect him for stopping and caring," said Ashley Young told the Daily News' David Gambacorta. "He could have kept on going, but he gave us his attention. He did a good deed."

I would like to think anybody would stop to help if a house was on fire, but, hey, let's not complain. Hip, hip, hooray for Mayor Street!

Street, aides help out at fire scene [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

July 18, 2007

City Residents Soon To Be Blinded With Ads

The pay toilet that has been letting you shit on City Hall since last November will soon have a bunch of friends in town: The City of Philadelphia will soon choose from one of three companies to install street furniture in the city.

The street furniture -- benches, bus stops, newsstands, honor box corrals, trashcans, advertising kiosks (sadly) and, of course, toilets -- will make whichever company wins the bidding a lot of money from advertising. The city will get a bunch of money, too, which will be evenly distributed among city citizens and also given to the poor. Or they'll pave the sidewalks with platinum and buy John Street a space shuttle.

The city did ask the companies to create a uniform look for the city's street furniture, so all our ads will be color-coded. The company who wins the right to put giant ads in Center City will also be allowed the right to complain about Frost/El Toro and Bob Will Reign, who aren't big companies paying for the right to put graffiti in the city.

Meanwhile, one of the bidders is a group that includes Clear Channel and two former press aides to Mayor Street. I look forward to their ugly street furniture.

Ads to adorn Phila.'s new shelters, benches [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 06, 2007

Bob Casey Takes Strong Anti-Wii Stance

The Daily News' Gar Joseph today asks all the local politicians if they're going to purchase an iPhone. It seems that even the city's rich guys aren't going to throw away $600 and $50 a month to be a beta tester for Apple. (Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger did recently purchase a blackberry because "Mayor Street told [him] to." Hee hee!)

But Bob Casey's spokesman's response is strangest of all:

U.S. Sen. Bob Casey. Casey has a BlackBerry, but no plans for an iPhone. Spokesman Larry Smar calls Casey "technological in a business sense," adding, "I don't expect him to buy a Nintendo Wii or anything like that."

Bobby, are you kidding me? You gotta try Wario Ware. I don't know if I can be confident in a politician who doesn't want to use a his controller to shoot zombies and strangle gangsters, as well as defeat Gannon once again. Don't forget, Casey's home state does include Princess Zelda's hometown, the mythical land of Hyrule.

Clout | Hot off the wire: The iMayor dials alone [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:02 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

July 02, 2007

Clinton 100% Lock To Not Win Presidency Now

Three presidential candidates -- John Edwards, Hillary Clinton and Dennis Kucinich -- will be in Philadelphia today, speaking at an ACORN event at the Bright Hope Baptist Church in North Philly.

At the event, the politicians will pander to whatever ACORN wants them to say, and everyone will leave all warm and fuzzy, knowing full well Philadelphia will vote 80+ percent for the Democratic nominee anyway. While Clinton is in Philadelphia today, she will also receive the endorsement of Mayor John Street, which is about the equivalent of getting the endorsement of the Recorder Lady. Street's endorsement is expected to derail her campaign and plummet her support levels to lower than notorious rock-thrower Mike Gravel.

Dennis Kucinich, who was not mayor of Cleveland when the river caught on fire, and John Street, who was mayor of Philadelphia when he and Michael Nutter turned LOVE Park into a world-famous tourist destination into a giant concrete slab, will have a debate tonight over which one is the worst big city mayor in American history. Street will win the debate when it's discovered that Cleveland isn't really a big city.

Update: Street endorsed her! Photographic evidence from a loyal reader:

Clinton, Edwards, Kucinich visiting Phila. today [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 01, 2007

EXCLUSIVE! Mayor Street's iPhone Revealed!

As you can tell from this exclusive picture of Mayor John Street's iPhone, his 15-hour wait in line wasn't all for naught. The special iPhone the mayor purchased is customized specifically for the City of Philadelphia, with options that snitch, fund SEPTA and lower fares, remove all illegal guns from the streets, fix the Philadelphia public schools, fund city pensions and get the Phillies some pitching help.

The mayor's iPhone fetish angered angry bloggers and other angry bloggers on Friday, making Philadelphia wonder just what John Street would have done to end the tide of murders in this city on Friday, or at least what more he would have done than someone calling him a fuckhead in an entry in WordPress. I get it; the iPhone incident is a good example of why John Street's second term as mayor has been much less successful than New Coke.

The only person to come out good here is none other than ineligible mayoral candidate Larry West, who used John Street's failed publicity stunt as his own publicity stunt, getting on the news and in an Associated Press story, although unfortunately none of the stories mentioned his mayoral candidacy.

But enough of this; it could have been worse. In Washington, D.C., Mayor Adrian Fenty purchased four iPhones after not even waiting in line, leaving customers at the end of the line iPhoneless.

Larry West owns mayor Street, gets on the news [Phillyblog]
DC Mayor Gets His iPhones Delivered; Suck It, Philadelphia! [Wonkette]
Friday: This Kind of Sums Up Eight Years Of John Street
Friday: John Street In Revenge Of The Nerds

Posted by D-Mac at 12:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 29, 2007

A LOVE Park You Can Skateboard On, Still

Speaking of John Street, there's a nice little screw you to him in the upcoming Tony Hawk's Proving Ground, the 79th (I think) installment in the skateboarding video game series. And by "a nice little screw you," I mean "a completely rendered version of the new LOVE Park that can be skateboarded on."

See, suburban white kids? You can have you revenge on John Street after all. Well, you know, kinda. Hey, if you can't do it in real life, then do it in a video game. I guess that works for Grand Theft Auto, too.

Tony Hawk 9: Love Park?! [Planet Tony Hawk]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:57 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

This Kind Of Sums Up Eight Years Of John Street

Click to enlarge.

Update, 11:39 a.m.: For photos taken by, oh, I don't know, an actual photographer, the Daily News' Alejandro Alvarez has a slideshow.

Update, 1:51 p.m.: Teresa Masterson has pre-dawn photos of Mayor Street waiting in line for his iPhone. Impressive.

Earlier today: John Street In Revenge Of The Nerds

Posted by D-Mac at 10:50 AM | Comments (21) | TrackBack (0)