July 16, 2008

The Best Political Cartoon All Week

Signe Wilkinson's take is pretty funny as well.

[via Blog Reload]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:27 AM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2008

McCain Postpones Area Visit

In an attempt to make a throwaway morning post all that much harder, John McCain has postponed his Bucks County "town hall" meeting until Monday. Let's hope this will give more time for people with hilarious questions to come up with them.

Scary old McCain -- I saw one of his new ads on Jeopardy! I wasn't sure if it was John McCain for President, or The Happening. will visit Worth & Company in Pipersville, Bucks County.

There is obviously a backstory here: Worth & Co. is, naturally, under investigation by the state for allegedly violating the Prevailing Wage Law, cheating its employees out of $142,000 in wages. John McCain will no doubt berate the company and its employees during his visit, and then go to Sesame Place for some kick-ass water slides.

McCain to visit area firm [The Intelligencer]
Town Hall Meeting in Pipersville, PA [JohnMcCain.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)

April 25, 2008

Gold Prices Soar Because Of Ron Paul

Now that John "Walnuts" McCain has clinched the Republican nomination, it's only fitting that everything seems to be going Ron Paul's way -- now that he has exactly zero shot of becoming president.

First, there's the ongoing spike in gold prices and the popularity of gold parties, where everybody gets together and sells their gold to some dude who then sells it for higher on Jeweler's Row. (I don't know if they're popular, but I heard it on the radio.) Ron Paul pays his bills in gold bars, so while he spends a lot of money on postage, he's doing well in the pocket right now.

Then, there's his 16 percent showing in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. Joe Murray in The Bulletin (your source for Republican primary news!) says the 27 percent Paul and Mike Huckabee received in the primary might mean people don't like John McCain, then goes and quashes his own argument.

But, still, people still do love some Ron Paul, or at least love the things he loves (i.e., gold). This will surely culminate in his takeover of the White House via write-in vote this November, after which he will abolish the federal government, including the presidency.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:46 AM | Comments (14)

April 23, 2008

Ron Paul Achieves Stunning 16 Percent

The real winner in Pennsylvania yesterday wasn't Hillary Clinton or those of us who never have to see TV ads again. No, of course not: The real winner was none other than Ron Paul, who took 16 percent of the vote for second place in the Keystone State.

Sure, he didn't beat John McCain -- who clinched the nomination weeks ago -- but, then again, only 73% of voting Republicans yesterday selected the GOP nominee. And Ron Paul beat Mike Huckabee (who took third) by around 35,000 votes! Meanwhile, in Bucks County the Ron Paul supporters were "few but proud," says the Courier Times (which has already received a complain about it):

“Ron Paul speaks up and (appeals) to the college kids and the old-timers like myself,” said Joe Mallon, a 71-year-old Paul supporter from Upper Moreland. Mallon said he believes his party has been hijacked by a bunch of neo-conservatives. [...]

Some Republicans said a vote for Paul was a message vote — a way to tell their party they are not happy with its direction and presidential selection. Richard Dekalb, an 80-year-old Republican who lives in Ann's Choice in Warminster, doesn't like McCain and wanted to vote for “anything as far away (from him) as I could.”

Let's all hear it for Ron Paul, the next president of the United States!

Ron Paul surges in Pa. [LA Times]
Ron Paul supporters in GOP were few but proud [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:13 AM | Comments (46)

April 22, 2008

The Environment Hates John McCain

Here's an ad for the environment airing on CNN today, and how you should vote for it instead of John McCain if you're one of the 12 Republicans left in Philadelphia. Perhaps the Republicans should just nominate "The Environment," since that would have a better shot at winning than any actual human Republican.

Apparently McCain supports giving tax dollars to polluters, which they will then burn in order to create pollution-creating fossil fuels. He also supports "dangerous" non-polluting nuclear power, which fuses tax dollar atoms together. John McCain is, essentially, in favor of the destruction of the earth.

Posted by D-Mac at 01:55 PM | Comments (0)

Boardwalk Merchants Encourage Voting

Citizen Mom went down the shore over the weekend and spotted this wall of incredible bootleg t-shirts on the Wildwood boardwalk, including shirts for Obama, Clinton and even creepy old John McCain. The "Osama for Obama" one begs the question: No "Barry Hussein" shirts?

This Could Be A Very Long Summer [Citizen Mom]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:47 AM | Comments (3)

Even Kids Don't Vote For Ron Paul

On this election day, it's important to remember the candidates who have since passed us by and gotten us to this point. On the Democratic side, there's a bunch of well-meaning goobers who couldn't possibly raise as much money or get as many votes as either Obama or Clinton; on the Republican side, there's a ton of idiots who couldn't even beat John McCain. Remember when Fred Thompson from the television was going to be president?

But a students at Robert K. Shafer Middle School in Bensalem were allowed to vote for some of those past candidates in a mock election; naturally, Obama won and Clinton took second. But let's see how the also-rans did!

The seventh- and eighth-graders were asked to pick among Obama, Clinton, John McCain, Ron Paul or Mike Huckabee.

Obama captured about 60 percent of the 253 votes cast in the mock election to Clinton's 30 percent, officials said. McCain received about 9 percent, Huckabee collected just under 1 percent of the vote and Paul received no votes in the mock election, officials said.

Have we extinguished the Ron Paul menace? Is the income tax just not an issue for seventh and eighth graders? All I know is there are some pretty smart seventh- and eighth-graders in Bensalem. No doubt they will soon all be harassed at their homes and places of business by angry Ron Paul fans wondering why they didn't vote for him.

Kids back Obama in mock elections [Bucks County Courier Times]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:33 AM | Comments (125)

April 18, 2008

CBS 3: Old People Hate Obama!

Yesterday, CBS 3's dreamy Susan Barnett did a report on how a bunch of old people love Hillary Clinton and John McCain and hate Barack Obama. But not because he's black! Just because.... they don't want to vote for him. Also, apparently everyone thinks Iraq attacked us on 9/11 and that Obama hates America and won't salute the flag.

Oh, and the one black guy hates John McCain because he's a "all the big boys get bigger", apparently. Well, duh.

Posted by D-Mac at 02:58 PM | Comments (6)

April 10, 2008

Turns Out No Candidate Can Spell

Yesterday, it was Hillary Clinton. Today, John McCain. At least the worst spelled incorrectly in Clinton's ad was not her first name.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:44 AM | Comments (1)

February 28, 2008

Socialist Workers Party Running A Candidate Just As Eligible As John McCain

The New York Times big scoop today is, basically, something that's been floating around on stupid Internet messageboards for a while now. (The NYT -- and others -- for some reason think the Internet is real life, and so Matt Drudge and McCain_SuX_6969 get to influence the media.) Anyway, apparently John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which makes him ineligible to be president.

As you know, I'm a bit interested in ineligible candidates (aka "criminals"); I paid a bit of attention to Larry West's ultimately doomed campaign for mayor. And, as such, it's nice to know I'll be able to joke about another (Walnuts!) one in the presidential.

But that doesn't mean he's the only ineligible candidate! In addition to McCain, the presidential race also has Socialist Workers Party candidate Róger Calero. The SWP candidate visited Temple recently, and PW's über-talented Cassidy Hartmann talked with him for her MTV political thing.

Calero was born in Nicaragua, though. While the U.S. had invaded and taken the Panama Canal Zone at the time of McCain's birth (1786), by Calero's time Uncle Sam was content simply to destabilize these countries in more clandestine ways. And while he is of age to run for president, the Constitution forbids him from actually being elected. He can still get on some states' ballots, though (but not Pennsylvania, where it is impossible).

One might think Calero could at least have an army of hilarious online followers, but dedication to the Socialist cause is a little lacking these days. (The illegal presidential candidate summed up Temple the way you could sum up pretty much every school: "Temple is generally a liberal school, but not that liberal in the sense of revolutionary politics.")

But with smaller numbers, it appears the supporters of our fair Socialist candidate are a bit more realistic than fans of a certain other candidate with socialist supporters. Gordon Barnes (at left in photo) brought Calero to Temple, and here's what he said: "We realize Róger’s not going to win." Now if only Ron Paul's supporters could get that. Or, for that matter, John McCain's.

The Candidate for Change? It’s All Relative. [Think MTV]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:25 PM | Comments (0)

January 21, 2008

G. Cobb Moving Into Political Realm?

Hey, looks like former NFL linebacker and WIP host G. Cobb is following Stephen A. Smith into the world of political commentary for The Bulletin. I don't know; but is this the end of Mr. Straight Talk McCain? (I guess Mr. Straight Talk McCain is a pro wrestler or something.) I can't wait to see what G. Cobb has to think!

Oh, I guess it's just mislabeled. (But they do still have Papal mass tickets!) But it's good to see he's about as successful as the political pundits with his sports report there.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:22 AM | Comments (577) | TrackBack (0)