May 10, 2008
My TV Appearance, Annotated
So, yes, the segment on Fox 29 about Philadelphia bloggers -- and by that, I mean me and Johnny Goodtimes -- aired last night, and I've done a little guide to my favorite shot on last night's program. (You can click to enlarge.)
- 1. One of you called it No Country for Old Men hair and my hairdresser said it looked like a hockey player's haircut. (Complete with playoff beard!) I prefer to think of it as the too-lazy-to-get-a-haircut look, but I finally got it cut short again on Tuesday. The beard will probably go soon, too, but, again: Laziness.
- 2. These are the Dr. Seuss glasses one of you remarked on. I'm going to go get them straightened today, actually; also, they're hilariously Sean John brand classes.
- 3. This is not a shirt a picked up at a thrift store, it is an actual 1998 Viking Invitational cross country shirt, a race I competed in. (I was have been a junior in high school.) I never seemed to do well in that race, so I guess I never really wore the shirt regularly until a few months ago. I'm sure my high school coaches are proud of me.
- 4. One of the better things on my walls, this advertisement from around World War II is actually for Stetson hats, but the theme is "Keep it under your Stetson" -- as in, "Don't tell the enemy about the war plans. Wear Stetson hats!" Companies really need to start doing this style of advertisement again.
- 5. This is my MacBook, my pride and joy. If only Apple products weren't shoddily constructed -- I believe they're made out of butter -- I would be marrying this thing.
- 6. Strunk & White's The Elements of Style. Goodtimes accused me of putting this on top of my pile of books to make myself look smarter, but I pretty much re-read this thing every couple of months. If you're a writer and you don't have this book, go get it now, go get it now, go get it now. It's essentially the writers' bible.
- 7. The rest of the books here are pretty awesome as well. The best title is, of course, Marijuana Myths, Marijuana Facts, but I'd also like to direct your attention to my proof of the new Lewis Black book, the copy of Jen Miller's The Jersey Shore: Atlantic City to Cape May, Hershel Walker's book about multiple personalities, Darren Daulton's book about how the world will end in 2012 and, of course, Drug Warriors and Their Prey: From Police Power to Police State, which I can also not recommend enough. It's probably the best-argued book I've ever read.
- 8. This orange pen is the one I used to write-in Brian Hickey for First District Senate and Chrissmari for State Treasurer. Although you can't see the cup it's in, it has a 1996-97 Sixers schedule on it, the team's first season in what was then called the Corestates Center.
- 9. Uh, this is the temperature, showing it was 53 degrees when my segment aired last night.
YouTube clip of the segment after the jump. Thanks to Kerri-Lee Halkett for actually doing a piece on me! On the TV!
Continue reading "My TV Appearance, Annotated"
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May 08, 2008
Wikipedia Blasted For Its Accuracy
The always worthwhile Catherine Lucey
chimes in with a little nugget from some anti-assault weapons press conference today:
The pols grew angry when an Inquirer reporter questioned whether the SKS Carbine was a true assault weapon, noting that the National Rifle Association disagreed with the classification and that a search on wikipedia.com would bring up information saying it was not.
Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey then got into the mix. "I don't care about wikipedia or any other kind of pedias," he said. "It it's not an assault weapon by definition, then add it to the freaking list."
Rendell added, "if there's any ambiguity, we will clear it up."
It's good to see the top police officer in Philadelphia has finally come out against the strong anti-'pedia lobby.
Nutter and Rendell rage about assault weapons [Clout]
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May 05, 2008
Exclusive Photoshop Of Kate Moss
Okay, okay: Kate Moss was at Johnny Brenda's Saturday night, which is hilariously awesome. (It was also chronicled on Twitter; look, she was at Black Cat in DC, too!)
There were no photos of the event, which means I have taken this opportunity to make my very own Kate Moss at Johnny Brenda's photo, which you see above. I am now going to sell this Photoshop photo to TMZ for eleventy-million dollars and retire to my own private island in the middle of the Schuylkill.
Kate Moss Dips Into Johnny Brenda’s, Philebrity Finally Finds A Use For This Twitter Thing [Philebrity]
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Suit: Dykstra Spending All Our Cash
Last week, news broke that former Phillies centerfielder Lenny Dykstra (at right, looking creepy as all heck, with Jim Cramer)
was being sued by his publishing partner after just one issue of his magazine
The Players Club, aimed at rich athletes.
Dykstra is also suing publishing partner Doubledown Media; he actually filed his lawsuit first. But let's get to the quote from the lawsuit against him:
"Over a relatively short period of time, Dykstra proved himself to be a mercurial, difficult client whose many idiosyncrasies and demanding personality imposed substantial costs on the planned publications and created excessive burdens for Doubledown," reads the suit. "At the same time, Dykstra began shirking his financial obligations to Doubledown beginning in late 2007 and continuing into 2008, repeatedly driving up expenses and increasing the overall costs of the publications at a time when he, on information and belief, lacked the cash to pay for such expenses."
What is it with athletes and carwashes, anyway? No word if The Players Club will ever be publishing a second issue, but let's just assume it's gone to that great big magazine rack in the sky.
Lenny Dykstra Sued By Publishing Partner [Mixed Media]
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May 02, 2008
The Proof Is In The Video
Okay, see? It wasn't a Photoshop. Have I ever lied to youse before?
Complete analysis of the drug policy books in front of my laptop to come later. Crying about my incredibly annoying voice to come... mhmm.... now.
Enjoy the weekend!
Video: D-Mac blogs with KL [Kerri-Lee TV]
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Sigh: Domelights, Inquirer Collide
How did I miss this one earlier in the week? Annette John-Hall wrote
a column on how "racial incidents threaten campaign against violence." Sounds good. She's going to write about the mistrust between minority communities and the police does no one any good, how our "colorblind" society sometimes fails to notice unintentional racism -- and some people believe there's no such thing as racism anymore, unless you have a white hood on -- and all that related stuff.
My summary's an oversimplification, for sure, but this is an Inquirer columnist! She'll go through 750 words of flowery prose, explaining it better than I can in a little blog post and maybe try to make a coherent argument.
No, wait. She just quoted Philly cop messageboard Domelights and Rochelle Bilal who said a recent cop suspension "sends a message to the department that all jokes aren't funny." And John-Hall ended up writing about, uhm, some idiot cop in Ohio and anonymous Internet messageboard posters being (get this!) angry.
Look, you should only quote Domelights when you're looking for, as Chrissmari might say, the lulz. (Plus, what if someone tries to shut down the site? Think how many hilarious posts would go un-mocked.) And so, I present to you the Domelights thread on Annette John-Hall's column, and the greatest sentence ever written on the messageboard by far.
You are better off BECAUSE of slavery. NOT in spite of it.
Guess what ethnicity the person this was directed at was? I'll give you a hint: It's not white!
Annette John-Hall: Racial incidents threaten campaign against violence [Inquirer]
DOME MAKES THE PAPERS [Domelights]
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May 01, 2008
Scientology's Hilarious 'Protest'
Hey, remember how the Philly Church of Scientology -- let's call it the farm system for Clearwater -- scheduled a protest all day on the day of the latest Anonymous protest against Scientology so Anonymous couldn't protest with masks on?
Well, a dude from Anonymous (I guess) contacted me the other day and passed along some hilarious photos of the "protest" that wasn't really a protest at all.
Anyway, there's another protest on May 10, and it naturally involves Battletoads. (Seriously, I am super confused. Next time, can Anonymous reference River City Ransom? I loved that game!) Hopefully, Scientology won't be able to get a permit this time since they only protested (against drugs!) for about an hour and not for the whole day like they said they were going to. Keep on fighting the man, people.
Posted by D-Mac at 01:19 PM
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April 30, 2008
A Clip Of Buzz, Leitch And Some Mime
Awful Announcing has posted part of the clip of Buzz Bissinger's rant about how much he hates the Internet and "Big Daddy Balls" last night. (I also loved how the topic was just "The Internet.") This particular clip is even better because a reminder for a documentary about NOFX (NOFX!) is plasted on the bottom of it the entire time, a reminder that television is inherently a better medium than the Internet.
Cleveland Browns wideout Braylon Edwards is also there, but doesn't say anything of note, doesn't blog and doesn't have any teammates who blog.
Internet Media Segment [Awful Announcing]
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Fumo: Pa. Would Allow Slavery
Although he dropped out of the race and will no longer be a State Senator come next year, Vince Fumo is still in Harrisburg, fighting for your kitchen.
And it appears he's going to say whatever is on his mind!
The remarks came during an Appropriations Committee hearing in Harrisburg on a bill that would define marriage as between a man and a woman – a measure Fumo opposes. "What you are advocating here is that we take away the rights of a minority. And I don't think that's right," Fumo told Gilbert Coleman, Jr., senior pastor of Freedom Christian Bible Fellowship in Philadelphia, during the hearing. ". . . If we introduced a bill on slavery, it might pass. That doesn't make it right."
"I doubt that sir," responded Coleman, who testified in support of the measure.
"Oh, don't bet on it in this General Assembly," the Philadelphia Democrat shot back. "I know some people up here, especially on a secret ballot, it would be almost unanimous."
Oh, man. In-effing-credible.
Fumo: State lawmakers would enact slavery given the chance [Inquirer]
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Buzz To Blogs: Get Off My Lawn!
Buzz Bissinger -- writer of
Friday Night Lights,
chronicler of Barbaro,
inventor of high school football racism -- was on
Costas Now last night on a panel with Will Leitch (editor of
Deadspin) and Braylon Edwards (Cleveland Browns wide receiver).
If you didn't see it, Bissinger went on a rant about blogs, asked Will Leitch if he had ever read W.C. Heinz, called him full of shit and also said this: "This guy, whether we like it or not, is the future. The future in the hands of guys like you is really going to dumb us down to a degree that I don't think we can recover from."
Let me write about the W.C. Heinz reference for a moment. Heinz is famous for writing "Death of a Racehorse," a 1,000-word piece about how a dying racehorse. In contrast, Bissinger's column on Barbaro was 13,000 words. (Update: Hey, I made the comments of Fire Joe Morgan!)
I will say that I don't -- can't! -- believe that Bissinger was serious last night. This whole 'blogs-vs.-newspapers' debate is so, uhm, 2005, maybe earlier. By 2006 Phillymag (Phillymag!) had given my blog a B+ rating and that was back when PWD was even worse. Blogs are a medium: Most of them suck, some of them are good -- just like newspaper columnists and TV shows and movies and penny-farthings and cheeseburgers. (The only two things that are mostly good are sex and pizza.) Right? Right?
Then again, maybe not. PW Music Editor Brian McManus was recently on a music panel with Tom Moon; the former Inquirer music writer read the Pitchfork review of In Rainbows and angrily ranted about it afterward. And this is another good ex-Inquirer writer!
It might just be as simple as what a friend told me this morning: "They're all just bitter that they didn't think of writing The Wire." Well put.
Update 2: Jon Weisman has more on this. And Enrico has more too.
Posted by D-Mac at 11:35 AM
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Scam Email -- With Scary Voice Over
Last night, Fox 29's Jeff Cole reported on some sort of scam email that says if you don't pay several thousand dollars to a hitman, he'll kill you. This was part of "Fox 29 Undercover," even though it didn't really involve any undercover work.
The highlight of the segment, though, is the voice-over reading the email; any of the death threats I've received would be way better if I could get somebody to read them in that voice. Also, apparently some versions of the email are in all caps, always the sign of a competent and professional hit man.
Redlasso video after the jump.
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April 23, 2008
Howard Nearly Runs Down Utley In Win
The best part of last night's Phillies game was not Pat Burrell's game-winning double, though that was pretty awesome, too. And it wasn't
the female streaker, since the TV didn't show that -- and she kept her bra on, anyway. (Okay, the female streaker is pretty cool, also.)
No, it was Ryan Howard running just a half-step behind Chase Utley as they both rounded third, looking to grab the go-ahead and insurance runs from the Colorado Rockies. Because Burrell's hit could have been caught, Utley held up at second and Howard went all the way near the bag; once it dropped, both sprinted for home plate like it was that one scene from Rookie of the Year.
The Phillies are finally above .500 (they're 11-10) and swept the Rockies in a two-game series. Video of the game-winning hit and hilarious basepath action after the jump.
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April 15, 2008
Colbert & Nutter (With Bonus Drama!)
Okay, so this photo is way too cool to be real. Apparently GPTMC welcomed Stephen Colbert with a
big giant party for him and Jason Smith took this photo.
Yes, Mayor Nutter is the both the nerdiest guy ever and a rock star, and I'm still not totally sure how that works. But if it leads to photos like this, who cares! And, wait, there's more: This kinda way long stalking Stephen Colbert piece -- the Dan Gross one is good -- has some blogdrama at the end, where someone accuses CP of copying off this Phillyist article that's trying to get on TV or something. Aw, only 18 Diggs.
Posted by D-Mac at 01:24 PM
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April 02, 2008
King Kong, Santa Cheer On Eagles
My good friend (and occasional guest poster) Mike Benner is sadly moving away to California to go chase his dreams as a medical marijuana farmer. Or maybe it's screenwriting, the other thing people do in California. Anyway, on his blog Benner has compiled just about every Action News opening on YouTube. They're all the same, essentially, but the above one is by far the greatest.
A young Rob Jennings (in 1981!) previews two stories before some crisis in Poland: The largest menorah in the world (in Philly!) and "King Kong and Santa Claus take the day off to cheer for the Eagles!"
Coincidentally, this was the last time Poland was mentioned on a local news broadcast in Philadelphia.
Posted by D-Mac at 03:36 PM
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March 31, 2008
Larry Kane Will Put Obama Over Top
Might as well post this now: Earlier today, Barack Obama's camp accidentally sent out an email
to the entire press list that was the contents of an email exchange between Famous Journalist
Larry Kane and people from Barack Obama's camp.
Here was the absolute best thing to ever be written in an email by anyone anywhere ever:
janet is in touch with you concerning getting Barack on Lynn Doyle's show. I work with Comcast (hav my own show) and want to tell you that this show reaches ALL 67 counties in Pa... ITS A GREAT ONE
Secondly : I would like a 15 minute one on one with Sen Obama for KYW Newsradio. Anytime. Easy to do. Let me know... This will get super wide play because I'll be involved.
Once again. don't forget the union endorsements, this is for a commentary I'm doing tomorrow
Always with the union endorsements! Lynn Doyle mentioned in an email by Larry Kane accidentally sent out by Barack Obama's staff as Monday's "Daily Digest" is just about Philadelphia Will Do hilarity overload. I seriously just got high off typing that sentence. Oh, this is better than even runner's high.
Posted by D-Mac at 10:49 PM
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March 29, 2008
Joe Sestak Has A Freudian Slip
Local congressman Joe Sestak (
Out Of Nowhere!) was on MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell, when she asked if Hillary Clinton's continued pursuit of the Democratic nomination was bad for the party in the general election.
After miming for a moment, Sestak said: "As Sen. Clinton said, she recognizes this is not about the party, Andrea. This is about the nation. If Sen. Obama is truly the man he says he is, I believe [he is], and if he is not the presidential candidate at the convention, he'll turn to his followers and say, 'Support her.' And I have no question that Sen. Clinton will turn to her followers and say, 'Support me.... er, him.'" Video after the jump.
Continue reading "Joe Sestak Has A Freudian Slip"
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March 19, 2008
Why Is There No Barkley Statue?
I actually spotted this ad for the first time last night; it's the new Dwayne Wade/Charles Barkley T-Mobile ad. While the series has produced some of the more entertaining on TV recently -- they're no Spy Hunter Pontiac ad, however -- this one is so far the best.
And we totally need to build a statue of Sir Charles riding a horse, eating a cheesesteak. We can put it right in front of Pat's. Or, hell, maybe Chink's!
Posted by D-Mac at 09:42 AM
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March 10, 2008
Kurt Cobain Going To Rutgers, Apparently
Kurt Cobain is alive and well! I always thought the ex-Nirvana frontman was in an afterlife supergroup with Richey James Edwards, but apparently he just bought a mansion in New Jersey.
Courtney Love recently reported thefts to the Los Angeles police and says she's been defrauded of around $60 million. (Cobain still grosses about $10 mil a year.) And last year she says a mansion in New Brunswick was purchased with her husband's social security number. "...0249. Yep, my name's Kurt Cobain, I'm a day laborer."
"I did a check on my deceased husband's social security number and he has a house in New Brunswick, New Jersey. He bought it last year," Love said. "I would like to know how." If there were a way to transmit news back to 1999, my high school girlfriend and I would be shocked by the story.
Courtney Love: Smells like N.J. identity theft [Inquirer]
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TV News Clip Of The Day
This is apparently from Good Day New York, where they've taken the passive-aggressive fighting to a whole new level. Here in Philadelphia, it's a bit more direct. Sometimes I think Jennaphr Frederick is going to just punch Steve Keeley in the mouth or something.
[via Best Week Ever]
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February 14, 2008
Patrick Murphy Is A True Eagles Fan
See? Now this is how you do it. While Arlen Specter is
wasting his time meeting with the NFL commissioner, freshman U.S. Rep. Patrick Murphy is
putting his Eagles fandom into law.
On Wednesday, the House passed a resolution congratulating the New York Giants on winning this year’s Super Bowl “and completing one of the most remarkable postseason runs in professional sports history.” The resolution passed by a vote of 412 to 1.
Murphy, a diehard Eagles fan who worked at Veterans Stadium as a security guard when he was 16, was the only House member to vote against it. “As a former 700-level security guard and lifelong Eagles fan, I couldn’t, in good conscience, vote for the New York Giants,” Murphy said Thursday. “The only thing worse would have been a resolution honoring the Dallas Cowboys.”
Patrick Murphy is not only a great Philadelphian, he is the greatest U.S. representative of all time.
Murphy won't cheer Giants [Bucks County Courier via Philly EDGE]
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January 29, 2008
Getting Away With Driving On The Beach
Sometimes I really think I should just move to
Atlantic City and write about there; while there's no
Milton Street, there is a constant stream of ridiculously awesome political scandals.
Take City Councilman Tim Mancuso. He was arrested on April 21, 2007, for allegedly driving a city-owned vehicle on the beach. Oh, and Mancuso was drunk, cops said; he was charged with DWI, reckless driving and driving on the beach without a permit. But now it looks like the charges will be dropped. Why? Because Atlantic City simply won't provide discovery information.
While the case was moved to Cape May since Mancuso is a City Councilman, the city has simply refused to provide discovery info and nobody has any idea why. Mancuso's defense attorney asked for a dismissal, which the judge says he'll most likely do in 45 days if there's still no discovery.
"It appears the people in Atlantic City are not complying and assisting the prosecutor," the judge said. "Somehow it's not being produced, and I don't know why. It appears someone is passing the buck." AC is so awesome; if they add sports gambling I'm spending all my time there.
Atlantic City's inaction may force court to dismiss DUI charges against councilman [Press of Atlantic City]
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January 11, 2008
Horses Are Doomed Either Way
So a bunch of horse lovers got together and decided to try to get horses to not be slaughtered. They succeeded and slaughterhouses were closed in Texas and Illinois. The horses
are now slaughtered in Canada or Mexico in far worse conditions, and the horsey people don't know what to do. To be fair, horsemeat is disgusting and no one should be eating it. On the other hand, who wouldn't want to have a Barbaro burger?
Meanwhile, I got an obviously fake Barbaro letter the other day and I'm posting it after the jump.
Continue reading "Horses Are Doomed Either Way"
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December 13, 2007
Yeah, It's Been A Slow Week; So What?
Well played, New York Post.
Ike 'beats' Tina to death [NY Post]
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November 28, 2007
Inquirer Decides To Print Some Lies
A potent type of marijuana known as AK47 - so strong that some users are treated in emergency rooms for overdoses - has hit the Philadelphia area.
In order to overdose on marijuana, you'd have to smoke several hundred pounds all at once. Several hundred pounds. All at once.
Police seize high-potency marijuana, arrest 2 men [Inquirer]
A brief history of the criminalization of cannabis [Drug War Rant]
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