April 23, 2008

Comedy Show On (No Way!) Cheesesteaks

Hey, guess what? A comedy show came to Philadelphia for a week, and while it was here filmed a little bit about cheesesteaks. Yes, I"m pretty shocked as well, since nobody who ever comes to Philadelphia ever mentions cheesesteaks.

Stephen Colbert introduced the bit with a quip about how Hillary vs. Barack wasn't the only battle Tuesday night. He then said Pat's vs. Geno's does a battle every day! Oh, man, how do these comedy news producers find this stuff? I didn't know anybody knew about Pat's and Geno's!

Despite all that, it's still pretty funny. Video after the jump.

Continue reading "Comedy Show On (No Way!) Cheesesteaks"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)

January 23, 2008

Guiliani No Longer Cheesesteak Idol

From the Dept. of People I Am Jealous Of (be flattered!) comes the above video, done by PW's own Cassidy Hartmann, who I occasionally yell stupid jokes over the cubicle wall at. Cassidy is the Pennsylvania correspondent -- unfortunately, they apparently call it a "Street Team rep" -- for MTV's get-young-people-to-vote web thingy.

In this video, Rudy 9u11ani is airing a new campaign ad in Florida broadcast in Spanish even though he appeared at Geno's Steaks with Joey "Speak English" Vento. He's not happy about it, and it's totally worth watching the whole thing, ig only to see Joey Vento refrain from saying "That's bullshit" on camera.

She's going to be doing this through the election, and you should be able to follow her here. Huzzah.

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October 05, 2007

Hey Look, That Dude From 9/11 Was At Geno's

Oh, man, look the cheesesteak guy endorsed him. The guy who makes cheesesteaks at Geno's endorsed him. Forget the "Speak-a English" sign, that the endorsement of a cheesesteak maker would help shows this country is doomed, no matter who gets elected president.

Rudy visits Philly [YouTube]

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October 01, 2007

Fascist Presidential Candidate To Eat Xenophobic Cheesesteak

Doin' anything tonight? Well, now you are, because the Official Presidential Candidate of 9/11 is going to be eating at Geno's tonight!

Presidential candidates usually stop at Pat's and Geno's, but now that Geno's owner Joe Vento -- a resident of New Jersey -- has become the poster child for hating the Mexicans that moved in to South Philly, the creepy Republican candidates will all be stopping at Geno's to let them know how they're going to build 300 Guantanamo Bays and end all immigration and, in the case of Ron Paul, collapse the global economy. (Update: Ron Paul's election would also blow up the Earth.)

Republican presidential front-runner Rudy Giuliani will be in South Philadelphia this evening. The former New York mayor is scheduled to be at Geno's Steaks on South Ninth Street at 6:45 p.m. to visit with area residents.

Geno's Steaks is owned by Joey Vento, who got national and international attention last year for posting a sign in the window declaring: "This is America. When ordering, speak English." In his campaign, Giuliani has said that anyone seeking American citizenship should be required to read, write and speak English.

Guiliani will then imprison any residents who jaywalk after he makes fun of John Kerry for ordering a steak with Swiss on it like four years ago.

Giuliani to visit Geno’s Steaks tonight [Inquirer]

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July 05, 2007

Something Is Rotten In The Market Of Reading Terminal

Nowadays, the only real cheesesteak news is how Joey Vento of Geno's has singlehandedly destroyed the immigration bill, saving America from the Mexican menace. But there's a new cheesesteak controversy: Rick's Steaks has been kicked out of Reading Terminal.

Rick's owner Rick Oliveri, who managed to supplant Geno's as one of the Ashburn Alley steak vendors in Citizens Bank Park this season, says he's being kicked out because, as president of the merchants' association, negotiated longer hours and a few other things. Oliveri doesn't say who's angry -- management? other vendors? -- but he does say something is up: “I think it's retaliation. It's a concern for merchants, and as president, to make sure merchants are getting the best bang for the dollar at the Reading Terminal Market.”

Tony Luke's will be replacing Rick's at Reading Terminal after Rick's vacates by July 31. I think we all know who's to blame: The Pennsylvania Dutch. They're always up to no good!

Long-Time Reading Terminal Merchant Gets the Boot [KYW 1060]
Mind your language at Geno's [BBC]

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February 28, 2007

'Daily News' Clarifies Most Imp't Mayoral Issue

A correction in today's paper:

A story in yesterday's paper about several mayoral candidates' visit to Central High School misstated their cheese-steak preferences. Chaka Fattah, Tom Knox and Michael Nutter all favor Pat's; Al Taubenberger and Bob Brady prefer Geno's.

Phew. I'm glad we cleared this up.

Correction 02.28 [DN]

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November 14, 2006

Not In Love With The Modern World

Good Morning America is currently doing a countdown of the "7 Great Wonders of the Modern World." (I know. Who knew?)

Never one to miss a chance at cross-promotion, the team at 6 ABC is asking for your wonders of the Delaware and Lehigh Valleys. (You have to scroll down past the story about the kid in suburban New York who was suspended for asking his teacher for a hug and calling her "sexy.")

I'd like to take this time to nominate Geno's as our Wonder of the Delaware Valley. It's the largest concentration of anti-immigrant messages and neon in the western hemisphere.

Get your thinking caps... [6 ABC, 2nd item]

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October 26, 2006

Geno's Story Rises From Grave Again

It seems that every time I've just about forgotten about Joey Vento and his "Speak English" sign it comes roaring back with a vengeance.

The newest foible is the revelation by a poster on DailyKos that Joe Vento doesn't use American beef! Yes, Vento's cuts of beef speak Spanish before they're slaughtered and shipped to America. They come from Uruguay, and therefore are cheaper for Vento and for you, the consumer, so it's a smart business move, blah blah blah.

But, with Vento's "This is America, speak English" sign -- as well as one that says "LEGAL = WELCOME; ILLEGAL = LEAVE" -- it's quite amusing, of course.

Also amusing? The Inquirer's Michael Klein, reporting on the DailyKos post, lets us know that the beef is probably Vento's only immigrant product:

It's likely that the rest of Geno's ingredients are American. Much lettuce and tomatoes come from California and Florida, onions from the Northwest - though perhaps picked by migrant farmworkers. Canola oil is pressed in the Midwest. And then there's Cheez Whiz, which no foreign land can claim.

But what about provolone? What about provolone?!

More Fun in Philly With "English-Only" Geno's Cheesesteaks! [Daily Kos]
Geno's lets beef moo in Spanish [Inquirer]
Archives: Geno's

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September 11, 2006

Leftovers: Vote Early, Vote Often

• Gridskipper is having a "World's Sexiest City" contest, and Philadelphia is up for the... World's Most Hetero city! (Not necessarily anti-gay, it just means there's a lot of man 'n' woman fuckin' goin' on.) I encourage you to vote for our fair city to win, although I suppose I'm a little dubious in its position among the nominees. (Take a guess why.) But no love for pro-gay, even with our "Get your history straight and your nightlife gay" ads? C'mon! [Gridskipper]

• Tonight marks the premiere of Monday Night Live on Comcast SportsNet, the day-after-football postgame show you might have heard of, but can't really understand why. It's hosted by the ubiquitous Michael Barkann. The co-host, though, is the real star: Fred Bibbo, the CSN security guard-turned-sports movie critic. This city. Awesome. [Inquirer, last item]

• Jim McGreevey's memoir -- The Confession -- hits shelves Sept. 19, and he's celebrating by taping an episode of Oprah tomorrow. Get ready for a really gay interview about a really gay book. Hey, it's not even being used in the annoying pejorative sense this time! [AP/Inquirer]

• A group of activists decided to order at Geno's in Spanish, and were turned down. The organizer's rationale for the publicity stunt (which, uh, was a little late): "The point isn't to communicate what it means to order food but to communicate 'fuck your attitude'." Indeed! [Philly IMC]

• The top two search terms currently on Philadelphia Will Do: "steve irwin jokes" and "steve irwin death jokes." God bless America. And probably Australia, too.

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August 18, 2006

Leftovers: I See... Oh, Forget It

• Whoever's doing headlines on Philly.com passes on the obvious joke about Haley Joel Osment's arrest -- that'd be something along the lines of "I see drunk people" -- and goes with "I see handcuffs." Oy. [AP/Philly.com]

• The Eagles lose in preseason action, 20-10, to the Ravens, but the first teamers were ahead at halftime. On the downside, the Eagles receivers apparently have no hands. [Daily News]

• Now who ever would have thought a Planet Hollywood casino would have a bad design? I mean, really? [Inquirer]

• Great. Just when we forgot about flash mobs, a group wants to have a multi-lingual ordering mob at Geno's. Come to think of it, we forgot about this whole Geno's thing, too. Thanks a lot, flash mobbers. [Philebrity]

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July 11, 2006

Vento Donates To ESL Program, Wants People To Know He Doesn't Really Want People To Learn English

The Bensalem Rotary Club was looking for fundraisers for an English as a Second Language program they were funding recently, and one fellow laughed that they should ask Joe Vento, owner of Geno's Steaks, for money.

Rotary member Stvee Moran, however, didn't take this as a joke, and drove down to South Philly (all the way from Bensalem!) to order a pizza steak (in English) and ask if Vento would donate to the program. He spoke with Diana Vergagni, Vento's sister-in-law, who handles much of the charity work of the Geno's owner.

And, hey, what do you know, the next day a check for $200 was in the mail. Good for Vento et al. But in case you were wondering, well, he doesn't really care:

“We don’t go looking to donate money to people who want to teach people English,” [Vergagni] said. “He just basically donates to Rotary clubs and anything for kids. It’s just a coincidence. He’s not promoting to have courses to teach English.”

Phew. We thought he might actually be interested in teaching people English for a minute there.

Geno's donates to ESL program [Bucks County Courier Times]
Archives: Geno's

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July 03, 2006

3rd Of July Link Dump: This May Be All You Get

• Late last week, Brian Tierney took questions online from readers. Aside from the usual stupidity -- someone asking if Michael Smerconish could edit the Inquirer, a person wanting a gift shop/waiting room at 400 N. Broad that people could read the paper in, etc. -- Tierney provides this comment in response to someone who reads Metro instead of the Daily News: I've always thought Metro was a little overpriced ;)" OMG LOL! [Philly.com]

• Despite an absolutely atrocious team, the Phillies have three All-Stars: Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Tom Gordon. And at the halfway point, the Phillies have a 37-44 record, their worst first half since 2002. It's okay, though, the Phillies are set for the second half after trading for 5-foot-7, 175-pound F. Castro! Okay, it's Fabio Castro, which is almost as funny as if the Phillies signed Fidel. [Inquirer, Phillies.com]

• Philadelphia loses its biggest celebrity: Lil' Kim was released from prison this morning. Throngs of fans -- and, assumedly, Dan Gross -- greeted her today. Huzzah! [AP/Philly.com]

• Faye Flam's Carnal Knowledge column celebrates its first year today with a quiz about sex. And the first question? "1. What does a male honeybee do after he finishes having sex with the queen?" I think I'll stick to worrying about human sex, thanks. [Inquirer]

• A group of people ordered cheesesteaks at Geno's the other day in Spanish, which means we've hit a tipping point: The (hardcore) protesters of Geno's have finally gotten more annoying than Joe Vento himself. (Eh, maybe. Definitely not as annoying as Vento's more vociferous supporters, though.) But, eh, we're sure the big guy will find a way to tip that scale back to his side any day now. [Inquirer]

• A meeting of the minds! The Bucks County Courier Times' J.D. Mullane and Lyndon Larouche! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And, really, what would a day be without Irresistible Ella? She's somehow reporting in front of a static fireworks display. [NBC 10]

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June 20, 2006

Santorum Adds Immigrants To Already Impressive List Of Phobias

Last night, everyone's favorite senator, Rick Santorum, made an impromptu appearance at -- where else? -- Geno's.

Here's what ol' Ricky told the Daily News after his visit:

"It makes all the sense in the world to have a sign like this," he told a Daily News reporter after the paper was tipped off to his late-night visit. "There's not really an extensive menu here. I mean, come on, it's cheesesteaks, onions, et cetera. It's not that hard."

If it's not that hard, WHY DO YOU NEED A SIGN? What's that you say? The sign has nothing to do with ordering in English and everything to do with Joe Vento's displeasure with Mexican immigrants replacing Italian immigrants in South Philly? No! You lie!

In plain English, Rick backs Vento [Daily News]
Archives: Geno's

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June 16, 2006

That's It, Jill Porter, You're On The List

AAAAARGH! NO MORE!

Jill Porter: The Geno's Debate Should Continue [Daily News]
Nixon's Enemies List [Wikipedia]

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June 14, 2006

Geno's! Geno's! Geno's!

You know how every once in a while somebody will see the Virgin Mary in a sandwich or oil stain or something, and thousands of people will flock to the stain and pray to it and shit? Yeah. This is stupider.

Be sure, though, to check out the discussion on one of the Joe Vento posts here. That also might be stupider.

The world weighs in on Geno's sign [Inky]
May 30: Press 1 For Asshole

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June 13, 2006

Leftovers: King Of The CEOs

• I've never heard of the Elmwood Park Zoo in Norristown, but now I want to go, just because of its intense CEO (left), Rafael Suarez. [Elmwood Park Zoo]

• Now that I have your attention, be sure to check out Liz Spikol's Top 10 Mental Health Tips, which is so official it gets capital letters. Number 1 is exercise. [The Trouble With Spikol]

• Despite Big Ben's injury, Gov. Ed Rendell stands by his signing of the helmet law repeal three years ago. [KYW 1060]

• Will Bunch sez the helmet law is a good idea, because head injuries cost taxpayer money. Now that's a language anyone can understand! [Attytood]

• Speaking of that, this Joe Vento thing just won't die. But you knew that. [Inky]

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Blogicized: Soccer? I Hardly Even Know Her!

• NB to bloggers, journos, etc.: Writing hackeneyed shit like this where you go "Boy, soccer sure is boring... HOOLIGANS!" was probably not funny even when it first started showing up around 1990. If you're going to bash the World Cup, at least come up with something different. Please. [PhillyBurbs.com Blogs]

• We should have known Pat Gillick would screw up the rotation when he came to town, said we needed pitchers, then traded a starting pitcher away. I'm pretty sure I've brought that up before, but it bears repeating. Aspiring model Jason Weitzel weighs in on what could be done to fix the team's bloated ERA. [Beerleaguer]

• You're now not allowed to read Tom Ferrick's blog if you don't speak English. Get it? GET IT??? [Tom Ferrick's Poliblog]

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NBC 10 Tugs At Our Primal Urges

The current top four stories on NBC 10's website:

Those primal urges, of course, are sex and cheesesteaks.

NBC 10

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No, The Sign Clearly Is A Knock On Irish Immigrants

Ehh... to be honest, I don't even know where to start with this one.

Does Geno's English-Only Policy Targets Mexicans? [NBC 10]

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June 12, 2006

Finally, An Internet Poll For The Rest Of Us

Yes! Finally an option I can vote for!

Archives: Geno's

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June 07, 2006

Blogicized: Hip New Hotel Complete With Refinery, Planes, Swamp

• Starwood is opening its hip new Aloft hotel -- aimed at "Generation X" -- at the Philadelphia airport. This is better than when they built that Hilton on top of the Garage at 10th and Filbert. [The Illadelph]

• Ed Rendell has unveiled his wine shipping plan -- and, yes, it still includes the 18 percent tax to help the citizens of Johnstown recover from that drastic flood early last century. It's still a pretty good plan, which is shocking, considering this is Pennsylvania. [Phila Foodie]

• Thanks, Phillyist. I really needed to read an article about shit. [Phillyist]

• Joe Vento needs to learn himself some Ingish. [Philebrity]

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American Speak

To be fair, though, Joe Vento voted 47,000 times.

6 ABC
May 50: Press 1 For Asshole

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June 06, 2006

Blogicized: Eric Gregg, 1951-2006

• We gave our love to Eric Gregg yesterday after his stroke; the big guy passed away at the age of 55 yesterday. Our thoughts are with his family and friends. [Philly Future]

• Oh no, the Daily News referred to two alleged (and unknown) murderers as "thugs"! The whole media is ruined, I tell you, ruined! [duh]

• The best thing about sports journalism is that, usually, columnists are allowed to write whatever the hell they want. God Bless America. And sports. [Gelflog]

• Rarr! Will Bunch will smash Geno's into a pulp! Grr! [Attytood]

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June 01, 2006

Malkin Says: Speak Asshole

Since the report in Tuesday's Inquirer about Geno's owner Joe Vento and his English-speakin', immigrant-hating ways, there's been a lot of people saying that, well, Joe Vento is a jerk/racist/bigot/asshole (that was yours truly's term)/etc.

And some people have said "I'll never eat at Geno's again," making a statement with the wallet, etc.

One woman, however, has said she's taking a stand for Geno's. Are you really surprised that woman is Michelle Malkin? Malkin, who's also in favor of internment camps and puppy-kicking for fun and profit -- one of those is real, guess which one! -- writes in favor of Geno's "only order in English" policy:

If you know Philadelphia, you know Geno's. Best cheesesteaks in the world. Reader Willie S. sends word via the Philly Inquirer that Joey Vento, the grandson of Italian-born immigrants who owns Geno's, is taking a stand for assimilation and against illegal immigration. The Inquirer does its best to knock down Vento, but his blunt Philly style overrides the paper's wishy-washy open-borders slant [...] Oh, man, I have half a mind to drive up for a "cheesesteak with" at Geno's right now.

Ahh, yes, giving a man the forum to promote his Mexican hatred on the front page really is knocking him down. And, please, Vento isn't practiving blunt Philly style. True Philadelphians hate everyone, not just a certain race or group or whatever.

And, babe, ordering a "cheesesteak with" is not only a half-order -- what kind of cheese, hmm? -- but why the hell did you ad an extra letter onto the end of wit'?

GENO'S SAYS: SPEAK ENGLISH (The all caps is for extra fun!) [MichelleMalkin.com]
Tuesday: Press 1 For Asshole

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May 30, 2006

Press 1 For Asshole

There's an article in today's Inquirer about the immigration debate, but that's not really what it's about. It's an article about assholes, and how they run some of our more popular local businesses.

Or, really, only one. The asshole in question here is Joe Vento, owner of Geno's, who has a sign on his window that says "This is America. When Ordering, Speak English." Vento certainly has every right to run his business how he pleases, since this is America! But we (fortunately) all have the right to mock him, call him an asshole and wonder why someone pointing to 'provolone' would get you all riled up?

Vento doesn't limit his assholic behaviors to Geno's, though:

With Geno's Steaks tattooed on his arm, Vento is used to publicizing things, especially what's on his mind. Speak English signs also poster his Hummer. He has driven through South Philadelphia blaring through the SUV's P.A. system denunciations of neighborhood business owners who hire illegal immigrants.

"I say what everybody's thinking but is afraid to say," Vento said. [...]

"They want us to adapt to these people. What do you mean, 'Press 1 for Spanish'? English, period. Case closed. End of discussion. You better make it the official language."

Ahh, yes, the old American tradition of going around a neighborhood and blasting your stereo and telling your neighbors you hate them. And, really, is there anything more American than getting all worked up about having to spend a half-second pressing '1' for English? God Bless America!

Also, how does a deaf person order at Geno's?

Thanks to The 14th Windiest State for the image, although I think Joe Vento only has one mood.

An old struggle to adapt to a new country's ways [Inky]

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