The Best Two Days Of The Year

I make a lot of jokes on this website, but here is something 100 percent serious: If you’re not into the first four days of the NCAA Tournament, please don’t bother talking to me this weekend. Or maybe ever. If you’re not spending your day at work today sneaking out to watch Temple play at 12:30 or maybe watching games online using a proxy

The moment I was 100 percent sure the Iraq War was an awful idea was when George Bush decided he wanted to start it on the first day of the NCAA Tournament. Clearly, he was a freedom-hating warmonger who interrupted the greatest sports days of the year with a stupid little war; I knew he couldn’t have a post-invasion plan. Maybe if John Kerry had said that at a debate, we wouldn’t have had to live through four more years of Bush.

Temple ate its pregame meal last night its game today is so early; apparently the Owls also are in a hotel somewhere in Wyoming for games at the Pepsi Center in Denver.

Temple’s at 12:30, Joe’s and ‘Nova are tomorrow night. There are 29 other games today and tomorrow, and I have no doubt once again watching ‘em will be a blast.

Update: My buddy Dave wrote a March Madness column for the Daily Local; the website is actually working right now, so read it before it breaks again.

Saying Goodbye To King Ron Paul

I’ve been infatuated with the Ron Paul campaign ever since hundreds of ads for him started popping up on certain Internet forums about how great The Libertarian Nightmare is. There are so many questions to ask about the Ron Paul Internet Phenomenon that there’s really nowhere to begin.

Sadly, last week Ron Paul pretty much dropped out of the presidential election in order to make sure he doesn’t lose his Congressional seat in Texas’ March primary. He’s going to stay in the race, technically, but even he’s realized he has no shot at this point. (Or, ever, but that’s another story.)

It’s not all bad news for Dr. Paul, though. As CBS 3 reported earlier this month, gold prices are booming! Yes, Ron Paul naturally has a lot of money in gold, consarnit, and CBS 3’s Susan Barnett let us know you can sell gold for hundreds of dollars right on Jeweler’s Row. Looks like the good doctor won’t be suffering without a legion of Internet spambots donating ridiculous amounts of money to him.

Goodbye, Ron. We can only hope the hilarity will continue; somehow, I think it might.

Goodbye Ron Paul: He Has ‘Another Priority’ [AOL]
The Gold Rush Is On [CBS 3]

Rep’s Constituent Services Apparently Didn’t Shape Up

According to Action News, somebody firebombed the office of Thomas Blackwell, a state representative.

Flames broke out on the first floor, but firefighters quickly controlled the blaze. And what legislation did Tommy Blackwell recently introduce? That’s right, a bill banning liquor sales at gas stations and grocery stores. (He’s against freedom, you see.)

“There are already plenty of places where people can purchase beer, and the toughest place to enforce the ban on malt beverage sales to minors is at the retail level,” he said in his own press release. “It is already a problem — why would we want to allow it to get even worse?”

Looks like we have a likely culprit for firebombing State Rep. King Kong Bundy’s offices: Uhh, cases of beer.

State Rep’s Office Firebombed in W. Phila. [6 ABC]

State Senate Strikes Blow For Freedom

The Pennsylvania State Senate has passed legislation that would guarantee a woman the right to breastfeed her baby in public.

But that’s not all. A senator is attempting to pass a whole stack of breastfeeding bills. She also has a bill that, ah, “make[s] sure that women who have been breast feeding their children and go back to work, we want to make sure that they’re not punished at their place of work when they take a break to pump milk to bring home to their baby.” Yes! That!

And companies who aid in breastfeeding — I don’t know how this is done — might be able to get tax breaks under a third bill. Two of the greatest things in the world, together at last: Breasts and tax breaks.

Pa. Senate Passes Public Breast-Feeding Bill [KYW 1060]

Finally, An Explanation For City Blue

Hey, remember Daniel Rubin? The Blinq guy? Well, he’s an Inquirer metro columnist now, and today he writes the best Inquirer column since… well, maybe ever.

Apparently, according to Rubin, we are the sweatsuit capital of the United States. One out of every three adults in Philadelphia have purchased a sweatsuit in Philadelphia, according to John Fetto of Simmons research, by far the most in America. New York and San Francisco lag behind with only 25 percent of the adults there owning sweatsuits.

Okay, so the column has a Rocky reference, but I’ll let that one slide. But apparently there’s a problem with Philly having lots of track suits. Philadelphia Common Pleas Court Judge Benjamin Lerner explains:

“You watch everybody line up in the morning at the Criminal Justice Center - witnesses, complainants, defendants, family members - and you’d think these are people who are coming to watch their kids play Little League ball.”

Oh no! People want to be comfortable when they go to jury duty or are about to go to jail! How dare they!

But Lisa Bono, 44, of Limerick, says that the sweatsuits aren’t a problem at all. They’re simply an extension of our founding fathers’ love for freedom.

“When it’s your time, you want to be in what you like, not what an office dictates of you. After all, Philly is freedom and a dictatorship is not the system I want any part of.”

Preach on, Lisa. Or shall I say Thomas Paine?

Daniel Rubin | Fashion in Philly? It’s no sweat [Inquirer]

With Liberty And Porn For All

Philadelphia’s Wi-Fi network will be the Internet the way it’s supposed to be: Full of pornography.

Wireless Philadelphia has decided that it will not block access to pornographic sites. Hallelujah!

KYW 1060 reports that when Culver City, Calf., found out most people were using the free Wi-Fi network to visit porn or piracy sites — but of course! — it installed filters. But Philly is going at this Internet thing au natural:

“We’re trying to create the opportunities for people here, without limiting anyone’s ability to take full advantage of the Internet. Because once you start putting those things (filters) in, you could potentially be limiting people’s access to important opportunities as well.”

Yep. The important goal of having naked Philly chicks exposing themselves on webcam’s over the city’s Wi-Fi. If the city can develop a free, citywide credit card processing system, this city’s economy will be rejuvenated.

Phila.’s WiFi Network Won’t Block Porn Sites [KYW 1060]