August 26, 2008

Green Collar is the New... Uh... Whatever

I may be three hours behind you people, but your humble guest editor is on the job. Tonight, I subjected myself to about ninety minutes of Democratic National Convention speeches in order to glean wisdom and absorb change. Here are a few observations:

- The phrase "Green Collar Job" was repeated dozens of times by several different speakers. I had heard it being bandied about casually in the past, but I think I witnessed the actual birth of an annoying catch phrase tonight.

- Your own PA Sen. Bobby Casey, Jr. sure does sound like a muppet. Kermit, to be exact. But on the plus side, he unintentionally led the crowd in several chants of "four more months!" which delayed his speech for about a minute.

- Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano was all like, "You think I give a rats ass if McCain is from my state? I hope that sucker loses, hard!" Those were her exact words, really.

- The big name Republican the DNC booked for tonight? Jim Whitaker, mayor of Fairbanks, Alaska (Population: 31,000; Notoriety: zero). Way to stick it to the other party, guys! Whitaker is clearly a bigger get than the Republican's pick of, uh, former candidate for Vice President and current Senator Joe Lieberman (D., Conn.).

- The news media is just dying to make a huge deal out of Clinton supporters refusing to support Obama. Dying, I tell you. It's funny to hear all the politicians being interviewed being like, "Shut up, please."

- I apparently missed Gov. Ed Rendell speak. Did anyone see him? Did he go off prompter?

- The basic message of former Virgina Governor and keynote speaker Mark Warner: Walnuts McCain is more of the same. We've already heard this message 5,000 times tonight.

OK, that's about all the news coverage I can take tonight. See you tomorrow, possibly with some words on Clinton's speech.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:11 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2008

Ed Rendell: Best Large, Fat, Funny Talking Governor Ever?

Driving home from work today, I flipped on NPR to find Gov. Ed Rendell being interviewed. As a reporter, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rendell more than a few times. I usually had to catch him at some event to ask a few quick questions because I wasn't enough of a big shot to get him on the phone, but tracking him down was always worth it since he gives fun quotes.

So anyways, what he said on NPR can basically be summed up as this: "I'm supposed to be speaking at the DNC about alternative energy, but I'm tempted to go off prompter and tell all the dickhurt Clinton supporters to shut up and back Obama."

I immediately thought about my own large, fat, funny talking governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's currently refusing to sign any bills into law until the state legislature passes a budget, and is threatening to knock all state employee's salary down to minimum wage. He's not that funny.

But Rendell is on frickin' Eagles Post Game Live, eating hoagies and cracking sexist jokes. He probably broke the speed limit to get there, too. I never realized how lucky Pennsylvanians were to have Rendell as their leader. Man, I miss that guy.

Gov. Rendell Interviewed on NPR's "All Things Considered" [CQ Politics]

Posted by D-Mac at 08:15 PM | Comments (5)

June 17, 2008

Ed Rendell Is A Faygo Freak

In the above photo of Ed Rendell settling his Stanley Cup bet with Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm, you will notice he is drinking Faygo, the soft drink produced in Detroit and the official drink of the Insane Clown Posse (Wikipedia: "We toss out, kick out, and shoot out into the crowd about three to four hundred two-liters of Faygo soda at every show").

This is, incidentally, how governors and mayors should settle sports bets.

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 ... No Make That 10,000 Words. [Capitol Ideas]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:05 AM | Comments (2)

June 13, 2008

Rendell Signs Statewide Smoking Ban

Yes, it's official: Gov. Ed Rendell has signed a statewide smoking ban, according to a release from his office. It'll take effect in 90 days; like the Philadelphia ban, bars that make 20 percent or less of their revenue from food can apply for an exemption.

The bill will also allow smoking in nursing homes (it's ageist!), on sections of casino floors and in private clubs. Oh, and you can still smoke in your own home, but you all know they're coming after you next.

Update: Also in Pennsylvania news, a woman who claims Michael Jordan fathered her child (he didn't) has been barred from contacting him again.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:36 PM | Comments (9)

June 09, 2008

Rendell On Clinton

Here's Ed Rendell, talking about Hillary Clinton dropping out of the race over the weekend. Meh. It's not as good as Eagles analysis from the governor, I can tell you that.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:29 PM | Comments (1)

May 16, 2008

There's A Joke Here Somewhere

Rendell leading gay pride parade [The Intelligencer]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:50 PM | Comments (0)

April 23, 2008

Sixers Get Gov. To Rename Highway

Fresh off a stunning win in the first game of their first round series against the Detroit Pistons, the 76ers play Game 2 tonight at 7:30.

And, to celebrate, the 76ers got Gov. Rendell to rename the Schuylkill Expressway "I-76ers":

the team is requesting that travelers in the Greater Philadelphia Region refer to the Schuylkill Expressway by its proper name (I-76) and add "ers" to the end. The team hopes this will spread and people will immediately begin calling the popularly traveled highway "I-76ers."

"It's playoff time and we want to get our fans revved up for the postseason," said Sixers Senior Vice President Lara Price. "As patrons utilize I-76ers every day to get to work, they’ll think of us and support our run in the playoffs."

I-76ers is 25.2 miles of highway that extends from the Pennsylvania Turnpike at Valley Forge through Downtown Philadelphia to the Walt Whitman Bridge.

A friend of mine pointed out the proclamation from Ed Rendell noted the team "faces the Detroit Pistons in the first round of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals." This is only the first round of the quarterfinals? Man, the 76ers have been out of the playoffs for so long I forgot over 300 teams qualified for the playoffs.

SIXERS ASK FANS TO PROPERLY CALL “SCHUYLKILL” BY IT’S REAL NAME (“I-76”) AND ADD “ERS” TO THE END FOR FIRST WEEK OF PLAYOFFS [Sixers.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 05:54 PM | Comments (4)

April 21, 2008

Chelsea Clinton Has The Ass Of Life

Photo via Brett Lieberman, Pennsyltucky Politics

Chelsea Clinton was in town Friday night, and boy did she have a fabulous time! And why not: She hit all the gay bars in Center City, along with Ed Rendell and Rob Reiner. She even went to Tavern on Camac and Sisters! (Her pub crawl also included Woody's and Bump. What, no Uncle's?)

When Chelsea was little, Rush Limbaugh called her ugly and everybody got mad at him. But nobody's calling Chelsea unattractive now. "Chelsea, the gays love you," shouted one gay person. "We love your highlights -- you're gorgeous baby!" said another, which prompted bisexual hottie Anne Dicker to say, "Maybe they're swingers." Sadly, Chelsea could not visit the now-closed Club Kama Sutra to find out.

Continue reading "Chelsea Clinton Has The Ass Of Life"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:16 AM | Comments (6)

April 17, 2008

Ed Rendell Is All WTF On Debate

Ed Rendell was on 6 ABC's post-debate show last night, and man was he pissed! I certainly don't think last night's debate is going to blow up the world or anything, but Rendell certainly seemed to; he asked Monica Malpass, "What is wrong with America?"

Naturally, Rendell was talking about the first 45 minutes to an hour of the debate, which featured questions exclusively on Hillary's lie about dodging sniper fire, Barack Obama's pastor, "bitter" Pennsylvanians and some dude from the Weather Underground who supports Obama.

Video after the jump.

Continue reading "Ed Rendell Is All WTF On Debate"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:01 AM | Comments (3)

April 08, 2008

Olivia Sadly Missing From New Clinton Ad

Here's Michael Nutter's new ad for Hillary Clinton. (She just released five new ones, including one in Spanish.) Not much to this, although Nutter says she wants to "invest in our communities," which no other candidate wants to do.

Ed Rendell's new Clinton ad after the jump.

Continue reading "Olivia Sadly Missing From New Clinton Ad"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:18 AM | Comments (2)

April 01, 2008

Olbermann Names Rendell World's Worst

Hey, so Howard Beale Keith Olbermann did his little nightly news/opinion/fuck Bush program last night and -- well lookie here! -- Ed Rendell was named the worst person in the world.

Apparently, yesterday Rendell made a joke about Fox News having the best primary coverage. Then he said he thought Fox actually had been doing a good job. So Keith Olbermann called it "Fixed News" and "Fox Noise" in oh-so-hilarious fashion; by November I expect his show to be nothing but him shitting on photos of President Bush.

Video after the jump, courtesy Attytood.

Continue reading "Olbermann Names Rendell World's Worst"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:01 AM | Comments (1)

March 19, 2008

Ed Rendell Finally Comes Clean

Hey, apparently late night network television still exists! And one of those late-night TV hosts, one David Letterman, made a funny joke about our own Ed Rendell last night.

Letterman Rips Rendell In Monday's Monologue [Clout]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:20 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2008

State-Funded Soccer Team Official!

Hooray! Chester, long shut out of the non-horse racing, non-Chester High School sporting world, has finally made it to the big time. Today the Sons of Ben have more to celebrate than the Wikipedia entry for the club surviving its deletion attempt.

We finally have a soccer team in Chester. The heroic agreement between a bunch of politicians and a bunch of investors will give $47 million of free money to rich people. There's also going to be development! The stadium will be anchoring this even though everything everywhere ever has said stadiums aren't a great anchor for community development. It will also be near a casino, of course, so that the transfer of money from the poor to the rich will continue. Chester and Delaware counties will also be contributing $30 million.

Why all this public money for a soccer stadium? Well, team investor Nick Sakiewicz summed it up nicely: "So - otherwise it would not happen." On that note, this is $77 million politicians can't waste on things other than a soccer stadium, and they'd just screw it up anyway.

The team doesn't have a name yet, and the possibilities are endless: Bandits (as in one-armed), Vandals (it's near the prison!), Chester Gentrification FC and, of course, the Subsidies. But, really, there's no name better than the one a friend came up with, the Camden Riversharks of Chester. I can't wait!

Update: In other soccer news, some 23-year-old youth soccer coach in Montco pled guilty today to unlawful conduct with a minor for sending dirty texts to a 13-year-old. And the prosecutor tries to make a funny, I think: "The thing that really struck me is he’s talking about skills in terms of sexual skills when he’s supposed to be teaching her soccer skills and that’s what’s really troubling to me…the context in which they met." Yeah, that's what struck me too.

Update 2: Just so you know, I am way totally psyched for a soccer team in town! Not as psyched as I would have been when MLS formed, but you take what you can get.

Posted by D-Mac at 03:58 PM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2008

Rendell And The Racists Push Clinton Ahead

Quinnipac University recently released a poll of "likely democratic voters" in Pennsylvania taken from Feb. 6 - 12 and Hillary Clinton is way, way ahead. She's up 52-36 against Barry Obama in the state, and -- bucking a national trend -- beats McCain (46-40) easier than Obama (42-41) does.

Yes, it's still a way to the election, and Bill Clinton could dress up in blackface (or whatever he did in South Carolina) again and make everyone hate his wife and vote for Obama. Hillary's been leading the polls in Pennsylvania since early 2007, hence her role as the frontrunner early on.

Anyway, Rendell's "some white people won't vote for a black man" comments were published on Feb. 10 (I believe), so youse should all be able to blame him for Hillary's lead.

Update: The Inquirer editorial board makes a funny! "Ed Rendell had better stick to Eagles games whenever he feels the urge to be a color analyst."

Posted by D-Mac at 02:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

February 13, 2008

Gov. Rendell Offends Usual Suspects

Blah blah blah Ed Rendell blah blah white people blah blah blah Barack Obama blah blah blah Lynn Swann blah blah blah offensiveness blah blah blah people in Pennsylvania are racist:

Gov. Ed Rendell, one of Hillary Rodham Clinton's most visible supporters, said some white Pennsylvanians are likely to vote against her rival Barack Obama because he is black. "You've got conservative whites here, and I think there are some whites who are probably not ready to vote for an African-American candidate," Rendell told the editorial board of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in remarks that appeared in Tuesday's paper.

To buttress his point, Rendell cited his 2006 re-election campaign, in which he defeated Republican challenger Lynn Swann, the former Pittsburgh Steelers star, by a margin of more than 60 percent to less than 40 percent. "I believe, looking at the returns in my election, that had Lynn Swann been the identical candidate that he was—well-spoken, charismatic, good-looking—but white instead of black, instead of winning by 22 points, I would have won by 17 or so," he said. "And that (attitude) exists. But on the other hand, that is counterbalanced by Obama's ability to bring new voters into the electoral pool."

Blah blah blah he should resign blah blah blah KKK members would vote for Obama blah blah blah axes to grind because he supports Hillary blah blah blah Rendell says stupid things all the time blah blah blah too bad Lynn Swann wasn't white or else I wouldn't have had to buy my son a car blah blah blah liberals are racist blah blah blah comparing Obama to Lynn Swann is racist blah blah blah the Clintons are racist blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Okay, I got that post out of the way. If you need me, I'll be out voting for a minority. Any one will do, really.

Oh, and is anyone surprised Rendell is posing with a white King Tut?

Posted by D-Mac at 09:15 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

January 28, 2008

Ed Rendell: Cheat On Your Taxes

Ed Rendell was on a radio show out in Pittsburgh when the matter of Allegheny County's new liquor by the drink tax came up. Apparently, we have this in Philadelphia, too, but Rendell told everyone not to worry because it just won't be collected anyway.

(Rendell): “We don’t quite enforce in the neighborhood taverns as well as we do in the big hotels and restaurants.”

(Host): “You look the other way, sir?”
(Rendell): “Umm, you can say that.”

Everyone had a good laugh about the governor's plan to let people cheat on their taxes out in Pittsburgh, except for the Nutter administration, which had to remind people not to cheat. The governor apparently meant that they just go after the delinquent hotels and restaurants first, because they have larger tax bills.

In other news, people didn't know how to cheat on their taxes until the governor told them to, so Pennsylvania is full of morons. Maybe if we all cheat on our state taxes enough they'll reduce the size of the legislature!

Rendell Tweaks Remarks About City's Drink Tax [KYW 1060]

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January 21, 2008

Ed Rendell In Presidency Express Lane

I spotted this bumper sticker on 9th Street sometime Saturday night while walking to the El. It appears that it is Fast Eddie, and not Mayor Bloomberg, who will be on top of the ticket in 2008. Do you think he'll soup up Air Force One so he can travel his normal speeds?

Or maybe this is like a Frank Rizzo or Reform Party bumper sticker on a car. Look out, Hillary!

Posted by D-Mac at 01:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

January 17, 2008

Rendell, Bloomberg To Form Chosen Ticket?

With the Eagles out of the playoffs this year and his weekends free, Ed Rendell will appear this Saturday with Michael Bloomberg in California.

The Associated Press takes this opportunity to let us know this will spark rumors of an independent political ticket for president in 2008, as there is no way a Jewish former mayor of New York City and a Jewish former mayor of Philadelphia -- the two most beloved cities in the country, I believe -- could possibly lose the presidency. Will it play in Peoria? Where won't it play in Peoria?

Rendell's spokesman says the governor is not going to be running for vice president with Bloomberg and says he's just going to chill with Gov. Terminator and Bloomberg to talk about infrastructure. But that's much less fun. All hail Vice President Rendell!

Posted by D-Mac at 09:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

January 03, 2008

Ed Rendell Goes All Caligula On Us

Jesus, Ed! I know you're in your second term, but try not to let things get too out of control.

Update: Beaten by about 20 minutes.

Rendell Names Dog Law Enforcement Director [AP/CBS 3]
Incitatus [Wikipedia]

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December 20, 2007

Nobody Can Stop Talking About Alycia Lane

Yesterday, House majority leader Sam Smith (who?) whined about Alycia Lane calling Ed Rendell after she was arrested. A day after his spokesman confirmed the call, Rendell called into 610 WIP's morning show (stay with me here) and said, naw, it was just a friend calling a friend.

Michael Klein says Mr. Smith doesn't believe Rendell and Lane's stories: "You know, he said, 'Just because she wanted somebody to listen to her.' Well, if you believe that, I got a bridge for you... I can't imagine that she called him for any other reason than to help her out."

Meanwhile, a few people fired up their bootleg copies of Photoshop and made funny graphics and now there are tons of places to buy crap; by tons of places, I mean "Cafepress."

Posted by D-Mac at 11:58 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

October 30, 2007

Rendell Helps Kid Get Debate Ticket, Kinda

Drexel's newspaper, The Triangle, has created a special blog just for tonight's Drexel Democratic Debate (3D). The Blogspot blog has a number of stories posted already, including a story headlined "Chris Matthews talks to Drexel students." (The Chris Matthews?)

It also has the story of some freshman who put on a sign saying he wanted to go to the debate.

And, then he passed Ed Rendell, who was looking for a photo op or something. "Just remind me that you are the guy with the sign- I'll remember," the blog quotes Rendell telling Drexel freshman Tyler Piecara.

But, uh, it doesn't seem like Ed did anything, since apparently the dean of students is getting Piecara and four of his friends in to the debate. Rendell will probably not even be at the debate, as he'll be off hosting an Eagles debate show at Chickie's and Pete's.

Chris Matthews talks to Drexel Students [Drexel Debate]
Freshman gets creative, gets debate ticket [Drexel Debate]
[via Daily Examiner]

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September 19, 2007

Breaking: Possible Scandal Involves Attractive Woman

Yowza! The newest political scandal involves two things I just can't get enough of: Our lovable, Eagles-loving, William Howard Taft-sized governor, Ed Rendell, and a foxy hot blonde, Leslie Merrill McCombs!

McCombs is a former TV anchor for WPGH in Pittsburgh. You must, must, must go over to a website with voice-over samples she's done. Not only does she ooze sex when talking about a chocolate cake or whatever, she later does pretty much the same thing about a hospital or something. Sorry, the words kinda went through my mind, I was just listening to the sound.

Anyway, McCombs is friends with the guv, but she also happens to be a lobbyist who appears in a Lionsgate TV show. (It's on Spike, you haven't seen it.) And, wouldn't you know it, film companies got a $75 million tax break passed in the budget this year, and McCombs forgot to file paperwork or something. (She says she's now in full compliance with the law.)

What makes this story better is Harrisburg Sen. Jeff Piccola, who instead of simply passing this on to whoever regulates lobbyists in Pennsylvania, decided to hire a private detective because there is a hot Desperate Housewife involved and, rrrwar, I bet the PI would work for free!

Rendell made some Vince Fumo joke about the last guy to hire a private detective getting indicted, but Piccola responded by saying he didn't have any ex-girlfriends to spy on. Ha ha, loser.

Leslie Merrill McCombs [The Talent Guide]
Rendell Says Lobbying Flap Doesn't Need An Investigator [KYW 1060]
Guv, the blonde and the lobbying law [Daily News]
Earlier today: Abridged 'Daily News' Columnists

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September 07, 2007

Come On, Ed, You're Making It Too Easy

Too easy, actually. Even time I try to come up with a funny comment, my brain just goes "Bahahahahahahahahahahaha which one's fatter??"

Actually, that works.

Clout | Is Campbell being an mm-mm-bad loser? [Daily News]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 10, 2007

State Open Again, Apparently

Hey, it turns out Pennsylvania only shut down for one day, but as long as you didn't go to a state park or get your driver's license or work for the state you probably didn't know anyway. Last night, a budget was not passed but a "framework" was set up. And the state employees are going to be paid, so everyone just got a free day off instead. Huzzah!

Meanwhile, this woman from Northampton immediately became my favorite politician in the state for (1) bashing people on welfare and (2) suggesting the state legislature disband.

"Today, 24,000 workers were furloughed and will not be paid, but every person collecting a welfare check will be paid. That's more than a shame. It's a disgrace," said State Sen. Lisa Boscola (D., Northampton), who described the impasse as a tug-of-war over political leverage. "We should be the ones, along with the governor, to lose our jobs."

Now we can go back to the world we previously lived in, where we never used the word "furlough."

Budget deal ends Pa. shutdown [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 09, 2007

Dreaming Of A Government-Free Pennsylvania

You know, maybe it's time to re-think this Pennsylvania government shutdown. First off, there's that weird cartoon at right I found online. And how many times have I wished on this blog the Pennsylvania government would just shut down? I'm too lazy to check, but I know I've at least thought about it while writing about this lieutenant governor's singing parrot.

Anyway, think about a Pennsylvania without government. Mark B. Cohen would have 100,000 posts on Phillyblog, Ed Rendell would just be a football analyst and Philadelphia could limit residents to one gun a month, which would end all murder. Libertopia!

But the Pennsylvania government will eventually go back to work, which means the above is will just have to remain a fantasy. It's time to look at actual problems with the current shutdown -- I'm sorry, a "furlough," whatever that is. How will this person get her learner's permit?

Outside one driver's licensing station, University of Pittsburgh student Dandan Hong, 21, found out from security guards that she would have to wait to get her permit -- the office was closed. She had been cramming for the test and leaves on vacation in two days. "I didn't know about it until I got here," she said. "I don't know how I'm going to get my permit."

Clearly, she was planning on spending her vacation... uh... driving? In Pennsylvania with a licensed driver over 21? I don't know. I don't remember what it was like "cramming" for the permit test, but I do remember one of my questions had a photo of a stop sign and asked me to say what it was.

But it turns out the real losers here aren't people who want to go to parks or people who are losing their paychecks. No, shed a tear for the casinos and racetracks, who are just really on hard times right now.

Bobby Soper, chief executive of Mohegan Sun at Pocono Downs, worried that his patrons -- there are usually about 5,000 on a typical Monday -- might not know the casinos were open. "The fact that it occurred at the 11th hour made it somewhat difficult to get the message out," Soper said.

This is the worst thing to happen to Indians since the Trail of Tears.

Pennsylvania government partially shuts down [AP/CNN.com]

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