February 06, 2008

This Will Make Someone Shut The Duck Up

Four. That's the current number of emails you have to send to me in order to get something posted on this website. (Subject to change.) I know, a six-minute Internet video is a bit too long for my ADD-riddled brain, but I was finally able to get through it -- man, blogging has ruined my brain -- and it was pretty good. Especially the part where the main guy goes, "Honestly, if you like the ducks, I don't like you."

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December 11, 2007

New Ally In War On Duck Boats

I'm all for fighting against the horrible duck boats, and, although it's a bit too serious for me, here's a new partner in the fight:

Here's the dude's his petition:

We the undersigned do hereby call for respect from the Philadelphia Ride the Ducks Tour Company. The Ride the Ducks Tours are loud, noisy, obnoxious and an ear sore to local citizens of the Philadelphia area. By blasting music, shouting over a loud PA system, and encouraging the tooting of “quackers,” the Ride the Ducks Tours consistently disrupt the life of the average Philadelphian and are violating a number of noise pollution laws. We ask for Ride the Ducks Tours to work for a better relationship with Philadelphia residents and by agreeing to three guidelines:

1) When driving through a residential area, Ride The Ducks Tours will respectfully lower their music, exhibit a more restrained use of the PA system, and encourage a more mindful use of “quackers.”

2) Ride the Ducks Tours will revise their tour routes of Philadelphia to minimize exposure to the residential community.

3) Ride the Ducks Tour guides will no longer encourage tourists to “quack” at individuals on the street.

Eh, go ahead, fight the duck boat people. The War on Duck Boats will one day be won!

See also: Anti-duck activism in Seattle

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August 20, 2007

Tourists Deserve Your Scorn As Much As You Thought

The Convention & Visitors Bureau has set up a website for tourists to share their views of Philadelphia. Travelers to our fair city can send in stories, photos and video about their trip.

KYW 1060 asked tourists just what they love about Philadelphia, and their answers are predictably saddening:

[EVP Jack Ferguson, on comments:] "Some of the pictures of 'Ride the Ducks' are some of the best pictures you ever saw -- because people are happy and they're quacking away, and they want to tell people about it."

Here are some of the comments already received -- and people sure do love those ducks!

(Man:) "I'm really excited to be here, and I'm looking forward to riding the duck."
(Woman:) "We loved it so much; we came back and took the duck tour."

Yes, yes, a trip to Philadelphia is not complete unless you do the most historic tour of all, Ride the Ducks. Or, alternatively, the other one, the one Milton Street drives or whatever. Oh, and don't forget that other one, the shark one, if that still exists. Frankly, I could find these things out, but any effort put into the duck boats is too much.

Your Philadelphia Comments and Photos Are Invited [KYW 1060]

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March 30, 2007

Whole Foods Sweeps 'Gay News' Awards

The Philadelphia Gay News unveils its first-ever "Pink Penny" awards in this week's issue, a feature that apparently celebrates the best of Philadelphia in approximately 5,000 categories. It took the paper this long to figure out that if you do a "Best Of" issue, there's a chance other newspapers will write about you, therefore getting you attention.

Okay, I actually counted 148, which is even more than the number of murders so far this year in Philadelphia (99 at last count). Of course, there's some overlap in these awards, so naturally there are a few repeats, but the number one winner is most definitely Whole Foods, which took first place in three (3) categories: Free samples (grocery store); Best supermarket to cruise for young, hottie queer women; Catering dinner for 12. The first category went to both Whole Foods at 2001 Pennsylvania Ave. and 929 South St.; the other two only went to the South Street location.

I think my favorite category is "Tourist trap to take your out-of-town family (whom you don’t like)," which naturally goes to Ride the Ducks. Though I guess I would have gone with Super Ducks for the Milton Street factor.

Pink Penny Awards [Philadelphia Gay News]
Related: Stop The Duck

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August 04, 2006

Where Do All the Rockys Meet?

Now that it's not a done deal that the Rocky statue will grace the outside of the Art Museum, other parts of the city are chiming in to say that they would like to be a surrogate caretaker of the statue.

To wit: The South Street Headhouse District wants to install the statue at 2nd and South. Yes, the island in the middle of the street -- the one that's surrounded by parked cars most of the time -- has been touted as a possible location for the statue.

And why would it be a good location for the statue? SSHD Executive Director Dave Hammond explains:

In describing South Street as the “hippest street in town,” Hammond said the intersection of Second and South streets attracts some of the city’s biggest crowds.

He proposed putting the statue on the large traffic island there, which is passed daily by the amphibious Duck rides, the trolley, buses and horse-drawn carriages.

“Tourists would know where to find the statue,” Hammond said. “And could make their way back to South Street upon completion of their tour and get their picture taken with Rocky.”

Just what we need: The Rocky statue surrounded by a thousand quacking tourists.

South St. pining for Rocky [Metro]
Yesterday: An Oop De Doo For 'Rocky'

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May 15, 2006

You Stay Classy, Society Hill

There's been a rush of robberies (three, I think) in Society Hill, and The 10 O'Clock News covered it all last night. This is part of the story on it, and it starts by describing Society Hill in over-the-top barf-inducing fashion. Pay attention to what follows the word "classy."

Well, erhm... it's classier than Super Ducks, right?

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May 03, 2006

Blogicized: Driving Everyone Quackers

• And, really, let's jump on this now before we all forget: Yes, we hate the duck boats. We hate those stupid whistles. We hate everything. But, yeah, especially those stupid duck boats. Especially the one at least partially owned by Milton Street. [Starting A Landslide In My Ego]

• Hey, the eighth congressional district! Whoo, awesome! Are we allowed to actually get interested in a story when we don't live in the district anymore? Yes? Okay. This is not nearly as dorky as I can get, by the way. [Philly Future]

• Remember how the governor of Arkansas pretty much blackballed an alt-weekly? Well, not he has a ridiculously long rant on his website about how they're allegedly asking for special treatment (they're not) and generally looking like a five year old. And this man wants to be president. Actually, acting like a five year old is pretty much par for the course these days. [Arkansas Times Blog]

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