December 17, 2007

Drexel Staff Baffled By Obvious Jocelyn Kirsch Lie

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about our girl Jocelyn Kirsch, the female half of the Bonnie & Clyde of Identity Fraud. Today's Daily News points to a story from a recent Drexel Triangle article with this fun tale: Jocelyn Kirsch allegedly claimed to be an adjunct professor at Drexel.

The Drexel paper says Kirsch pretended to be an adjunct in order to get a free parking pass and use University computers at Drexel's Language and Communication Center.

Kirsch, known around the language office for her revealing clothes and long dark hair walked to the front desk and asked for a pass last year while taking a placement test. When asked if she was a professor she claimed to be an adjunct and was granted the pass. "I was very convinced," said one staff member who wished to remain anonymous.

Kirsch used the pass for two weeks, the paper says, but doesn't say why she stopped. Now they apparently "grill" people asking for passes. Actually, here Kirsch just sounds kinda awesome. Compared to Alycia Lane, I think she's Katherine Drexel.

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December 07, 2007

Bonnie & Clyde Leave Town; City Continues Enthrallment

A reader emailed me to complain I was spending too much time focusing on the media's obsession with Jocelyn "Bonnie" Kirsch of the 2007 Bloodless Bonnie & Clyde duo (which also features Edward Anderton, who nobody knows anything about).

Yesterday, the pair both left the city to return to their home states. Anderton (who?) is home on the west coast in Washington, while Kirsch is back home in North Carolina.

But back to the actual crime: Police allege Kirsch and Anderton stole the identities of several people -- five so far, according to NBC 10 -- banking at least $100,000. Police say they may have installed spyware on their neighbors' computers; a discussion I had with not one but two separate Foodery clerks came to the conclusion they totally made a ton of amateurish mistakes.

When police raided their Rittenhouse apartment, they allegedly found a ton of fake IDs and, most hilariously, a 2005 Daily Pennsylvanian article about how bouncers spot fake IDs. The cops also found Kirsch's iPhoto directory (or whatever) and released a ton of photos to the press to make the story sexier.

More on this later today -- hopefully I can dump everything in "bonnieandclyde.txt" on my desktop on the blog today -- but the main story is definitely that Facebook group "SHE GOIN' TO JAAAAAAAAIL!!!! (and THAT'S hilarious)" is back up. Wow, Drexel girls are way mean. Rawr.

Oh, yeah, and that other Jocelyn Kirsch Facebook group has photos of her from elementary school. Ahh, okay.

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November 14, 2007

Obamarama Stronger Than The Ron Paulcalypse

Temple English professor Sue Wells watched last month's Democratic debate at Drexel, and the Temple News' blog asked whose supporters had the best cheers. The winner, of course, was Barack Obama:

According to Wells, the most creative chants came out of the Obama camp. Such gems as “1,2,3,4, let Obama end the war, 5,6,7,8, Obama is our candidate.”

Among the losers were Joe Biden ("Let's go Joe!") and none other than Ron Paul, whose supporters could only muster up this: “Roooon Paaauuuulll!" That's it? Come on, the Ron Paul supporters accused me of working for Rupert Murdoch. They can do better than just Ron Paul's name.

Geeze, just adapt the "Be Aggressive" chant: "We, the people, we, we, the people." Actually, that's kind of perfect. Man, the free market can work wonders!

Update: Ron Paul comment flood! The things people have posted don't quite work as chants, though. "Say yes to Dr. No" is a good slogan, but hard to chant. "Ron Paul Revolution -- Bring back the constitution" doesn't scan, but I suppose it's okay. (Adding "The" in front of Ron Paul would work, though.) And while "Stop the war in Iraq!, No war on Iran!" is something I'd agree with, it doesn't even rhyme at all! Geeze. Ron Paul wants to be president and his supporters don't even have a good rhyming slogan?

Bonus Update: Oh, there is a rap song, though! Oh, it is amazing. It rivals I Like Ike, You Like Ike, Everybody Likes Ike (For President), honest. But not even Ike's campaign ad called the previous president a "cokehead retard." Ahh.

Also good: "Hillary Clinton is big money Pimpin'."

Temple professor: Obama fans are better poets [Broad & Cecil]

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October 31, 2007

Presidential Candidates Discuss UFOs

Even though Mike Gravel was banned from last night's debate -- more on this later -- there was plenty of wackiness to go around. For example: This question about UFOs! Apparently Shirley MacLaine, the godmother of Dennis Kucinich's daughter, wrote in her new book Kucinich told her he saw a UFO.

Then Barack Obama refused to have any fun with Tim Russert although everybody laughed at him because he's good looking and charming. Hooray for democracy!

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October 30, 2007

Rendell Helps Kid Get Debate Ticket, Kinda

Drexel's newspaper, The Triangle, has created a special blog just for tonight's Drexel Democratic Debate (3D). The Blogspot blog has a number of stories posted already, including a story headlined "Chris Matthews talks to Drexel students." (The Chris Matthews?)

It also has the story of some freshman who put on a sign saying he wanted to go to the debate.

And, then he passed Ed Rendell, who was looking for a photo op or something. "Just remind me that you are the guy with the sign- I'll remember," the blog quotes Rendell telling Drexel freshman Tyler Piecara.

But, uh, it doesn't seem like Ed did anything, since apparently the dean of students is getting Piecara and four of his friends in to the debate. Rendell will probably not even be at the debate, as he'll be off hosting an Eagles debate show at Chickie's and Pete's.

Chris Matthews talks to Drexel Students [Drexel Debate]
Freshman gets creative, gets debate ticket [Drexel Debate]
[via Daily Examiner]

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July 30, 2007

Local University Loses All Credibility

On Saturday, the Inquirer ran an article about Drexel's new Second Life campus. Drexel's new Second Life campus! I brushed it off, figuring either the citizens of the tech or Philadelphia blogosphere (shoot me) would have made fun of it immediately and so I didn't have any obligation to post over the weekend making fun of it.

Then what do I see when I wake up this morning and search? Nothing! Somebody saying he was jealous of the move! Somebody else calling it interesting! And a blog post titled "Depression on Drexel Island" -- oh, yeah, the campus is called "Drexel Island" -- is actually about students learning about depression in a virtual classroom! Intentionally!

Need I mention this is about how Drexel opened a campus in fucking Second Life, home of the flying penis?

Continue reading "Local University Loses All Credibility"

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April 18, 2007

Drexel Beefs Up Security 200-Fold

As you can tell from the above photo, Drexel's new security team is based on the Legend of Zelda method of security, where if you get close enough to the statue it comes to life and attacks you. It's a little harsh, sure, but Dragon Force was deemed necessary to keep the campus safe.

Drexel's original plan was to contact Dr. Wily and ask for a team of super-robots to station around the campus, but was vetoed at the last minute due to Wily's occasional plans to take over the world.

Drexel Improving Campus Security With DragonForce [CBS 3]

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April 13, 2007

Drexel Tennis Players Go On Campuswide Rampage

Last Sunday, the Drexel men's tennis team lost a match to Delaware. And what did three members do to celebrate the team's loss?

Why, they allegedly went on a crime spree!

Cops said the three athletes drank themselves silly Monday night guzzling Miller Lite beer, then used credit cards to jimmy the locks on the front doors of the apartment-style dorms.

They are accused of stealing an Xbox gaming system, jewelry and sporting equipment from various rooms inside University Crossings on 32nd Street near Market in University City.

Drexel's student newspaper says the students thought they were playing "what they considered [to be] a practical joke," according to the Philadelphia Police Department. After stealing the booty, the three pranced in front of security cameras, or at least walked under them, leading to their capture.

Drexel's tennis team is only 6-8, which means the kids will probably go to jail or something.

Three students arrested in U. Crossings [The Triangle]
3 at Drexel charged with burglaries [Inquirer]

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April 02, 2007

Penn Kids Carrying On In Fine Tradition Of, Uh, Me

While the music industry appears to be loosening restrictions on DRM -- MP3s have been widely traded online longer than most things -- the movie industry is tightening its grip.

The Motion Picture Association of America recently released its Top 25 schools for movie sharing, and two local schools are on the list: Penn at #2 and Drexel at #22. It's one giant West Philly vortex of filesharing.

I remember back in the early days of downloading movies during my freshman year at Penn. Ahh, memories. The list, by the way, is woefully undercounted -- Penn is second with only 934 students sharing movies, while Drexel has 455. If you think that only 455 Drexel students or 934 Penn students are sharing movies, then insert your own cliche here.

The list was formed after Rep. Howard Berman, chair of the House committee on courts, the Internet and intellectual property, asked for it. (Apparently if you get lots of campaign contributions from Hollywood, you can also get them to do things for you.)

So, apparently, college kids trade movies! In other news, the sky is freaking blue.

MPAA names its Top 25 movie piracy schools [Ars Technica]
EMI to allow Apple to sell songs online [AP/Yahoo!]

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February 02, 2007

Drexel Students Safe From Penn Students (For Now)

Not too much more news today on the fate of Joseph Cho, the 31-year-old Penn law student who fired 15 shots into the door of a Drexel student two days ago.

The Daily News reports the second-year law student and Yale grad has been suspended by Penn. He was also in the Army for three years -- he enlisted after 9/11 -- and received an honorable discharge.

So if you're a person who most likely has some mental problems -- his lawyer said authorities "need to do appropriate mental health evaluations" -- you get suspended. If you're a Wharton prof convicted of sex solicitation, it will take more child porn convictions to get any action.

Effing tenure.

Law student suspended after 'terrorist' shooting [Daily News]
Yesterday: Penn Student Saves West Philly From Spies

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February 01, 2007

Penn Student Saves West Philly From Spies

A Penn law student is a hero after foiling a spy plot in West Philly yesterday by firing 15 shots into the spies' apartment at 44th and Pine yesterday.

Oh, did I write hero after foiling a spy plot? I meant he was arrested after going off the deep end and accusing two Indian-born bioengineering students from Drexel of being spies and discharging his Glock 15 times into their apartment door.

The 31-year-old second year law student returned to the building after the Drexel students called police, thinking he had done nothing wrong.

The Daily News talked with Arpit Shah, who attends University of the Sciences and lives nearby in his frat house.

"I am used to muggings around here... spies -- that is out of left field. Spies in West Philly -- that is ridiculous."

Yeah, that's what they want you to think.

UPenn Student Opens Fire On Drexel Students [CBS 3]
Student shoots at 'spies' [Daily News]

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December 29, 2006

Reason #30 To Love Philadelphia: Drexel Hoops

In the pantheon of college basketball in this town, the teams that get the most attention are usually St. Joe's, Villanova and Temple. They're the only three who semi-routinely advance into the NCAA Tournament, and so when they go on runs in March, people pay attention.

But the team usually viewed on a lesser plane than even Penn and La Salle, Drexel, has now won seven straight and is ranked seventh in the country in RPI. The Dragons are 8-2 have beaten St. Joe's, Villanova and Temple and actually sold out their gym last night. (Drexel did somehow lose to Penn by 19.)

Last night, Drexel beat last year's Final Four participant George Mason, and the Dragons also have a win over a ranked Syracuse team.

The Dragons are coached by Bruiser Flint, a St. Joe's grad and the snappiest dresser in the NCAA. Drexel has a bunch of decent players who appear to have been with the program for about six years each.

So, you know, huzzah for usually-overlooked Philly college hoops! How's Holy Family doing this year?

Fired up Dragons win 7th straight [Inquirer]

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December 05, 2006

Get Berated By Someone's Father For $100!

Although not all of our city's college students are the best students, it's safe to say that even the biggest collegiate slackers in Philadelphia make up what they lack in grades with ingenuity. Consider this Drexel or Penn student posting to Craigslist:

I am in a little bit of trouble with my parents, so I need someone to act like my college advisor and meet with my dad and talk to him about why I am staying in school for another year. I will provide all the information you need and I will tell you what to say.

He is a little bit pissed about it, so he may raise his voice a little, but it wont be too bad.

I will pay $100 for the whole thing plus any gas expenses if you need to travel by car.

Continue reading "Get Berated By Someone's Father For $100!"

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August 23, 2006

Drexel Not Only Ugly -- It's Expensive, Too

Yesterday, the Princeton Review released its annual survey of college students, and Drexel was named the ugliest college in the nation. Drexel officials and students area contesting the rankings, or saying they're not taking any stock in them, or whining. One of those three.

However, as a graphic on CNN just showed, here's one thing they can't really dispute:

But, hey, they have a Subway at least. Oh, and a 7-11, too.

Drexel Fires Back At Princeton Review [NBC 10]

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August 22, 2006

Leftovers: Sign Sammy!

• With Aaron Rowand probably out for the rest of the season, it's time for the Phillies to sign a proven home run hitter. A proven bat-corker. An over-the-hill slugger. That's right: They need to sign Sammy Sosa. That, my friends, would be the only signing that could make this oh-so-strange Phillies season even stranger. [Beerleaguer]

• The weird-but-awesome Calder sculpture on the Parkway has fled the coup to New York City. Hipsters move to the Sixth Borough; art moves to one of the original five. I'm not sure this is a fair trade. [Changing Skyline]

• Drexel University was named the ugliest in the nation. For its buildings -- not its students. (Penn would take that crown.) [NBC 10]

• When two male characters kiss on The Simpsons, Bucks County Courier Times columnist J.D. Mullane doesn't know what to tell his four-year-old son! The horror, the horror! [BCCT]

• Atlantic City's Steel Pier is being converted into condos. Each room will feature its own diving horse and slot machine. [NBC 10]

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April 07, 2006

Leftovers: All Katie, All The Time

• Pigeons have invaded Juniata and they won't leave! This report is notable for the closing line: "While the pigeons are as free as a bird the people in the neighborhood are not." Seriously, watch the video. [CBS 3]

• I'd be able to take this list of Katie Couric's liberal bias more seriously if example number two wasn't "Katie thinks gas prices are too high." No, really. [Media Research Center]

• That New Jersey transgender sub has yet to be called in this year to teach. There's actually a hotline parents can call to see who the subs are that day, so they can hold their kids out of school in case it's the one who used to be a man. Hooray for progress! [Philadelphia Gay News]

• There's a reality show at Drexel being filmed right now that has a parent living with a son or daughter during school. Oh, and at least one dad does kegstands. It's like the creepy old guys at homecoming each and every day! [KYW 1060]

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February 23, 2006

Blogicized: Whatamaneuver!

• I can only assume that these juveniles attacking Drexel kids with 2x4s are the sons and daughters of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Hoooooooooo! [Livejournal Philadelphia]

• Phillies fan and Supreme Court Justice Sam Alito hired a former top aid to John Ashcroft to clerk for him. That's like PW hiring John Updike to key in movie times. [Delaware Watch]

• Apparently Ed Snider said last night that he should move the 76ers to a town that appreciates them and loves the game of basketball. Eventually, with all the movement, all the NBA teams will have nonsensical nicknames: Utah Jazz, Los Angeles Lakers, Kansas City Sixers, Toronto Heat, Boston Bobcats, Philadelphia Celtics, Miami Trail Blazers, &c. [The 700 Level]

• The other day, I noted I love when Will Bunch makes fun of his paper's own writers. Today, he's apologizes: "[W]e went a tad too far in bashing [Christine Flowers] the other day, even if she was wrong... sorry, Christine." Ooooooh, someone got in trouuuuuuble! [Attytood]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 24, 2006

Maybe Port-au-Prince is 'Haiti's Next Great City'

Yesterday police arrested four men -- all students at University City High School -- in the videotaped beating of a Drexel grad student from Haiti. The teenagers planned the attack and sought out a random victim. What nice boys!

NBC 10 got an interview with the victim -- he's blacked out in that photo -- and they said on its front page that the "victim of a horrible assault taped by four teens says Haiti is safer than Philadelphia." He doesn't actually say that in the interview, it seems; he does say he's never seen anything like this before and his brother says Philly is "a city known for violence."

Still, the interview of a Haitian man who said his native country is safer than Philadelphia (maybe) comes on a very interesting day. Haiti just happens to be highlighted on the front page of The New York Times and the story begins like this:

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti, Jan. 21 - Nearly 20 months after the United Nations arrived to stabilize the hemisphere's poorest country and avert a civil war, there is still no cease-fire in this violent city on the sea.

Blasts from tanks and machine guns go on for hours almost every day around Cité Soleil, a steamy slum of concrete hovels and canals of raw sewage at the capital's northern edge. No one knows for sure how many civilians have been killed inside because the bodies of the slum-dwellers and local gangsters rarely make it to morgues.

But, hey, Philly's got Benergy! Eh? Eh?

Victim Speaks About Videotaped Beating [NBC 10]
Fear and Death Ensnare U.N.'s Soldiers in Haiti [NYT]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Quickies: Media mayhem

• Debris falling from the South Street Bridge fell onto the Schuylkill Expressway yesterday, causing an accident, according to Action News. But wait! The Inquirer says nothing fell onto the Expressway at all and only a plate was shifted! Who can you believe here?

• Albertson's, parent company of ACME (pronounced Ack-a-me), has sold the supermarket chain to Supervalu, based in Minneapolis. But local managers are going to stay in charge, so really this should mean nothing to you. Not that you all don't shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's -- or, in West Philly, Freshgrocer -- nowadays anyway. [Inky]

• A Drexel reserve guard, apparently nervous about the matchup against Gary Neal and Towson, managed to break the backboard in warmups yesterday on a hard dunk. The Dragons won anyway. [Inky]

• Penn prez Amy Guttman has pledge $5 million more in security on campus, with most of it going to lighting. So, soon both Penn and Temple will be places in Philadelphia that, at night, are as bright as standing on the surface of the sun. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

• Downingtown East High School star quarterback Pat Devlin changes his mind on college, spurning Miami for Penn State. Congrats to Daily Local News reporter and friend-of-yours-truly, Dave Zeitlin, who had this first. [Daily Local News]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

January 09, 2006

Quickies: Hunka hunka burnin' love

• A man's girlfriend left him after saying he spent too much time with his Elvis collection. And, so, he's auctioning it off to win her back. Naturally, he lives in Philadelphia, hotbed of all things Elvis. [AP via CNN.com]

• Hey, know how you can cheat on your boy/girlfriend and even if he/she checks your cell for old calls you're safe because you always delete the numbers of the calls you don't want anyone to see? Well, no. Because now pretty much anyone can buy your phone records from the phone company. Oh, joy. [Chicago Sun-Times]

• Drexel's new big study from a cognitive neuroscience professor: What's up with yawning?

• And in the feel-good story of the day, a nun in Mayfair was hit by a car while crossing the street to attend 6:30 a.m. mass at St. Matt's. (In a not-so-much-of-a-shocker, this is in Northeast Philly.) The driver didn't stop. Who wants to bet he's an ex-Catholic school kid with lots of bad memories? [KYW 3]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 13, 2005

Your nerdy joke of the day

West Philly criminals are going to have to stick to robbing Penn (and Pharmacy USP ones, too, natch) kids and not Drexel ones pretty soon:

Drexel University has partnered with a local firm to develop a new wireless security technology that could extend well beyond the borders of its West Philadelphia campus.

Once the system is developed and put into place, security guards at Drexel will be moved around like pieces on a chessboard.

Oh, good idea, Drexel. The bishops are going to get hit by cars when you try to move them across the street diagonally!

Drexel U. Designs Security System With Far-Reaching Possibilities [KYW 1060]

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December 05, 2005

Clearly he really got out the Thesaurus for this one

This opening paragraph from an opinion piece in The Triangle, the student newspaper of Drexel, just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside:

Jason Gomes' commentary last week was not the first time he's railed against sex on these pages ("Students must strongly consider abstinence," p. 13, Nov. 18), and when someone attacks something as important and good as pre-marital sex, he cannot be left unanswered.

Okay, then. But what are your thoughts about public sex in dorms, mhmm?

Sex isn't something we should fear [The Triangle]

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