January 03, 2008

Dennis Kucinich Finishes Second!

Noted UFO enthusiast, presidential candidate and little person Dennis Kucinich isn't expected to make much of a showing in Iowa tonight. (Did you hear? We're electin' a president already!)

In the latest poll, Kucinich is at 1 percent. To put it in perspective, on the Republican side, Ron Paul polls at 10 percent.

He doesn't have that much to fear, though. In a caucus of kids at Central High School, little Dennis finished second! Barack Obama won the caucus, which KYW 1060 reported by getting quotes like, "So it's interesting to note Hillary's slippage among potential voters here at Central and how that's going to play out across the rest of the nation." Okay.

Joe Biden finished third place, which is pretty much even funnier than Kucinich finishing second.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

November 01, 2007

Also Reported: 100 Percent Of Public Stupid

Bush apparently beats aliens by around 16 points. I can't believe people are so freaking stupid. Obviously Bush being a good president is much less likely to be true than aliens living on earth.

More people do claim to have seen UFOs than are planning on voting for Dennis Kucinich in the Democratic primary -- at least in New Hampshire, the most important of all states -- though. Also beating Kucinich? Stephen Colbert.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

October 31, 2007

Presidential Candidates Discuss UFOs

Even though Mike Gravel was banned from last night's debate -- more on this later -- there was plenty of wackiness to go around. For example: This question about UFOs! Apparently Shirley MacLaine, the godmother of Dennis Kucinich's daughter, wrote in her new book Kucinich told her he saw a UFO.

Then Barack Obama refused to have any fun with Tim Russert although everybody laughed at him because he's good looking and charming. Hooray for democracy!

Posted by D-Mac at 08:42 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 02, 2007

Clinton 100% Lock To Not Win Presidency Now

Three presidential candidates -- John Edwards, Hillary Clinton and Dennis Kucinich -- will be in Philadelphia today, speaking at an ACORN event at the Bright Hope Baptist Church in North Philly.

At the event, the politicians will pander to whatever ACORN wants them to say, and everyone will leave all warm and fuzzy, knowing full well Philadelphia will vote 80+ percent for the Democratic nominee anyway. While Clinton is in Philadelphia today, she will also receive the endorsement of Mayor John Street, which is about the equivalent of getting the endorsement of the Recorder Lady. Street's endorsement is expected to derail her campaign and plummet her support levels to lower than notorious rock-thrower Mike Gravel.

Dennis Kucinich, who was not mayor of Cleveland when the river caught on fire, and John Street, who was mayor of Philadelphia when he and Michael Nutter turned LOVE Park into a world-famous tourist destination into a giant concrete slab, will have a debate tonight over which one is the worst big city mayor in American history. Street will win the debate when it's discovered that Cleveland isn't really a big city.

Update: Street endorsed her! Photographic evidence from a loyal reader:

Clinton, Edwards, Kucinich visiting Phila. today [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)