January 04, 2007

Curt Weldon Now Confirmed Liar, Too

One of the 2006 Philadelphia Will Do People of the Year, ex-U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon, is already making news in 2007. Yesterday, the House Ethics committee released a statement saying Weldon agreed to repay $23K from a lobbying trip, the Daily News' Bob Warner writes.

The repayment, no doubt part of a scheme by Nancy Pelosi, Jane Fonda and FDR, didn't say where Weldon went, who paid for it or really any details that might prove of interest to anyone. But it does clear up that Curt Weldon was lying -- the Daily News says "misleading" -- when he said he had been investigated and cleared by the House ethics committee before the election.

It probably, though, has something to do with his daughter, as the trip took place in Jan. 2003 and -- surprise! -- two of his three trips that month were to firms that later became clients of her and Weldon buddy Charlie Sexton's consulting firm.

Surely this is all a conspiracy, though.

Weldon, in reversal, to repay $23G [Daily News]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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December 20, 2006

PWD People Of The Year: Curt Weldon

Coming into this year, Curt Weldon was a congressman with almost 20 years of service in the House. Exiting this year, Curt Weldon is a lame duck congressman with almost 20 years of service in the House, but none of them funnier than this one.

How was this year so funny? Well, let's recap: Since 9/11, Curt Weldon had been hawking his theory that the U.S. government blew it. Which is true, obviously, but Weldon's theory involved secret sources that talked only to him, in addition to a secret program called "Able Danger." When his theory began to unravel in the early months of this year, Weldon decided to drop another bombshell: Osama Bin Laden is dead in Iran.

Despite this rumormongering, Weldon was still seen as a shoo-in for election. But then in April, he criticized his opponent, Joe Sestak, for the hospital choice he made for his daughter who had a brain tumor.

As election day neared, old stories resurfaced -- his attendance at a coronation of Rev. Moon as the world's savior, the time he went to Libya and to meet Muammar al-Gaddafi, how he somehow combined the two incidents, etc. -- but Weldon began to refute any charges against him with nonsense words.

Then, FBI agents raided several homes/offices of his daughter, his daughter's associates and Weldon's political buddy, causing Weldon to respond by telling fellow POTY winner Stephen Morse about all the people against him.

Weldon ended up blaming every single person in the Western World for this raid, and -- despite cheers of "Curt! Curt! Curt!" -- he lost the election to Joe Sestak. He didn't even give a totally awesome concession speech (something Rick Santorum blew, too).

What's next for Curt? Well, currently, he's telling conservative newspapers the CIA is out-of-control and helping Democrats. (With, y'know, the democrat in the executive office and all. Er.) 2006 was a good year for Curt Weldon funny, could he bounce back in 2007? Let's hope so.

Philadelphia Will Do People of the Year | The List So Far
Archives: Curt Weldon

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November 13, 2006

Leftovers: A Bone A Day Keeps The Vet Away

• The Inquirer reports today about the exploding business of health insurance for pets. This little chart with the article lets us know that the top insurance claim for dogs is skin allergies and the top claim for cats is urinary tract infections. Thanks, Inquirer! [Inky]

• Allen Iverson's mom's ABA basketball team -- of course she has a basketball team -- won its first game 145-141 in double overtime last night. Can't top Enrico's line: "The ABA, where Kyle Korver could be named defensive player of the year." [The 700 Level]

• Pennsylvania's Jack Murtha could become House Majority Leader. And Will Bunch is against it! Black is white, day is night, the world is spinning on its head! [Attytood]

• Thursday, the Air Force awarded a contract to Boeing to build 141 helicopters in its Ridley Township plant. This news, of course, came about a week late to help Curt Weldon. All together now: Muahahaha! [Inky, 2nd item]

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November 07, 2006

Election: Declaring Another Race Irresponsibly

Okay, with approximately .0002 percent of the precincts reporting -- but with some actual info leading me to call it in this direction -- Philadelphia Will Do is irresponsibly declaring Joe Sestak as defeating Curt Weldon in the seventh district of Pennsylvania.

Curt's concession speech? I am more psyched for this than I've been for anything in a long time.

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Curt Weldon's Soviet Ties Illustrated With Helpful Graffiti

This cannot be overstated: His concession speech is going to be the best thing ever.

Archives: Curt Weldon

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November 02, 2006

Adwatch: I Like Joe (For Congress)

Okay, today's Adwatch wasn't on TV and isn't an official campaign ad, but I don't care. It's a minute-long ad with a bouncing ball -- so you can follow the words! -- about how Curt Weldon needs to go, with a little bit of Joe Sestak praise thrown in at the end. And it's done by former members of the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Because if there's one group I want to tell me who to vote for, it's the Squirrel Nut Zippers. (Perhaps their next hit can be, "If you vote for Bush... D and the A and the M and the N and the A and the T and the I-O-N." Ho ho!) Follow me after the jump for the ad.

Continue reading "Adwatch: I Like Joe (For Congress)"

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October 31, 2006

Leftovers: Philadelphia, Somewhere In The USA

• Behold, the Action News graphic for the Pier 34 murder trial. Yes, we Philadelphians are now too stupid to even know where the hell we are if the TV news doesn't point it out to us. [6 ABC]

• You can all stop sending me this story about the stolen puppy. First off, I'm sure it's a fine pup, but it's not nearly cute enough for me to steal. Second off, I was in a different part of Egg Harbor City that night. [NBC 10]

• Gay Marriage is unlikely in Jersey, as the legislators are likely to simply pass civil union laws instead. Sez an anti-civil union state senator in need of some rephrasing: "If all of a sudden we deemed that a white man that marries a black woman would be denied benefits, that's equal protection." [Press of AC]

• Curt Weldon earmarked money to the company whose director bought Terrell Owens' NFC Championship ring. Heh. [Inquirer]

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October 27, 2006

Adwatch: Joe Sestak Out Of Nowhere!

Today's Adwatch video is a 30-second spot for Admiral Joe Sestak, as he likes to call himself, a retired Vice Admiral in the Navy who's battling against noted conspiracy theorist Curt Weldon.

While Sestak is a political neophyte, he's running ahead of Curt Weldon in recent polls, mainly due to... well.. Curt Weldon being the zaniest (to put it nicely) politician ever. Also, Sestak has these ads that are, like, super-patriotic. I'll analyze one after the jump.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Joe Sestak Out Of Nowhere!"

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October 25, 2006

Weldon Blamegate Update

Since the homes and offices of his daughter and her associates were raided Monday of last week, Curt Weldon has pretty much blamed every single person on the planet for the raid. "It's politically motivated," he says, and blah blah blah, etc. He's involved in a tough re-election battle with Joe Sestak, and it appears he wants to figure out how to make the voters believe there's some conspiracy against him.

But how to keep track of each new and exciting person responsible for the FBI raid that Weldon manages to pull out of his ass? Yes, a tough task indeed. Which is why I'm going to try to figure it all out here, after the jump.

Continue reading "Weldon Blamegate Update"

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October 23, 2006

Next For Weldon: Chants Of 'M-V-P!'

Every day it seems like there's a new, ultra-hilarious aspect of Curt "Gogolyguk" Weldon's campaign for re-election in the seventh district. Whether it's blaming everyone in the world for the federal probe, being an asshole to his daughter or even chiding his opponent for having a sick daughter, Weldon is a top-notch politician in terms of hilarity.

Which brings us to Friday night's debate with challenger Joe Sestak. Apparently, it was a pretty pro-Weldon crowd, according to the Inquirer:

The debate ended with chants of "Curt! Curt! Curt!"

You have got to be kidding me. This is gogolyguk.

Weldon comes out swinging [Inquirer]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 19, 2006

Weldon Accuses 95 Percent Of America For FBI Raid

Monday's FBI raid of Congressman Curt Weldon's daughter and friend's houses and offices was met with the usual list of suspects: Democrats, the Liberal Media, etc.

But yesterday Weldon came up with another one: A former FBI agent said someone in opponent Joe Sestak's campaign knew the raid was going to happen! Because political neophytes usually have inside info with the Bush Justice Department. But that's not all. KYW 1060 recaps who Weldon has accused so far:

In an interview with the Daily Pennsylvanian this week, Weldon accused former President Bill Clinton, the left wing group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, former CIA official Mary McCarthy and others of involvement in sparking the FBI probe.

Actually missed that one on the DP interview, but, yep, that's the old Bill Clinton chestnut. Geeze. All he needs to do is all liberal gays and communists and he'll pretty much have blamed everyone in the whole entire world. For the Bush Justice Department's investigation of his daughter and his friend.

Let's just put this really clear: Curt Weldon is a blithering idiot. If you vote for him, so are you.

Weldon Says He Knows Who is Behind FBI Investigation [KYW 1060]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 17, 2006

Curt Weldon Drums Up New Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday, the FBI raided the house of Curt Weldon's daughter -- among other places connected to her -- as part of an investigation whether Weldon improperly helped steer contracts her way. (Weldon is shown here speaking at the "coronation" of Rev. Sun Myung Moon -- which named Moon the God of the Earth or something and which Weldon helped organize -- standing next to a photo of himself pinning a medal on Moammar Al Qadhafi. Right.)

The deal involves contracts Weldon's daughter and Delaware County GOP bigwig Charles Sexton's company -- Solutions Worldwide -- received from Itera, a Russian natural gas company. The main deal was a $500k contract Itera awarded the company while Weldon was lobbying Congress on behalf of the company. Dun dun dun.

Of course, Weldon thinks the raid is politically motivated, since the Bush justice department usually raids Republicans right before the election. Weldon said:

"The person who filed the one complaint against me with the Justice Department, Melanie Sloan, was a key staffer for John Conyers, who stands to become the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee assuming the Democrats win control of the Congress. I think it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this district could swing control of the Congress."

Right. Except the complain was filed over two years ago. She really couldn't have known the Justice Department would investigate Weldon two years-plus later, right. Unless Melanie Sloan is some sort of prophet. Perhaps Weldon could worship her along with Rev. Moon.

Weldon inquiry boils as FBI seizes material [Inquirer]
Weldon Calls Investigation 'Suspicious' [KYW 1060]
Yesterday: Curt Weldon Never Gave His Daughter Anything
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 16, 2006

Curt Weldon Never Gave His Daughter Anything

Noted goofy congressman Curt "Gogolyguk" Weldon had had his daughter's home raided by the FBI this morning, as well as the home of a family friend and four other sites in Philly and Jacksonville.

The congressman is being investigated for possibly improperly helping his daughter's consulting firm win lobbying contracts. (Uh, this is illegal?) Weldon named his outers to -- who else? -- black people don't care about Darfur columnist Steven Morse of the Daily Pennsylvanian. He says that it's Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, as well as former NSA head Sandy Berger.

Of course, this is the same man who said that Osama Bin Laden had secretly died in Iran, so take this with a grain of salt.

Weldon, for his part, says it's a politically-motivated attack, and that his daughter is fine on his own:

"I've never helped my daughter get anything. My kids are qualified on their own," Weldon said.

Curt Weldon never helped his daughter get anything? That asshole.

FBI raids home of congressman's daughter [AP/CNN.com]
Congressman Weldon outs alleged leaker [DP's The Spin]
Archives: Curt Weldon

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October 11, 2006

Weldon To Opponent: 'Gogolyguk!'

Last Friday, noted conspiracy theorist and congressman Curt Weldon debated his Democratic challenger, Joe Sestak. The democrat, an admiral in the Navy, is a political neophyte, while Curt Weldon knows who really orchestrated 9/11, who killed Osama Bin Laden and how the moon landings were faked.

The Evening Bulletin recaps an important part of the debate (emphasis mine):

Sestak accused Rep. Weldon of cutting federal funding for student loans and not fully funding mandates for the No Child Left Behind law.

Weldon called the charge, "gogolyguk," noting that he voted to strip federal subsidies to banks and lending institutions.

Curt Weldon is even more amazing than we all originally thought. Gogolyguk! Gogolyguk, indeed.

Weldon, Sestak Debate Shows Stark Contrast [Bulletin]

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October 09, 2006

Leftovers: Eagles 38, Cowboys 24

• So, the big story this afternoon is that... after losing the biggest game of the year so far... Cowboys wide receiver was upset and yelling! No! Never! [NBC 10]

• All the photos you need from yesterday's Biggest Game To Ever Happen, Ever. [The 700 Level]

• Public service announcement: You have to postmark your voter registration form before tomorrow night. So if you want to choose between Bob Casey and Rick Santorum -- oh, am I excited to make that decision! -- you better get to a state store, post office or library to get a form. [KYW 1060]

• Why is 10-time Congressman -- I like to refer to it as if they were winning something respectable, like a wrestling belt -- Curt Weldon having trouble in his re-election big? Gee, I dunno, I wonder what Curt Weldon could have done to make him unpopular. But, y'know, he does have it on good intelligence that Osama is dead, so you'd better vote for him. [Salon]

• Oh, yeah, and there's a giant hole in Broad Street at Lombard. So, uh, avoid that area.

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May 23, 2006

Blogicized: Not So Slick Rick

• Turns out, Rick Santorum puts his foot in his mouth. A lot. And that's not even including the whole man on dog situation. [Tom Ferrick's Poliblog]

• Noted conspiracy theorist and congressman Curt Weldon says no to President Bush's help with his campaign, as he says Bush isn't doing well in the state. Yeah, and neither is saying you know Osama Bin Laden is dead from a secret source. [Political Wire via MyDD]

• Whee! New SEPTA buses! Possibly! Anybody get a photo? [Frankford Terminal Blog]

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April 17, 2006

Blogicized: Feel The Burn

• Breaking! Breaking! Jane Fonda will be at the Penn bookstore on Thursday. That's 4/20, too, so there will be probably be about at least 50 totally baked people in the audience. High-larious. [Metroblogging Philadelphia]

• The me-in-cartoon-form revolution continues with love for Jay's work over at MyDD. Of course, I'm not sure what part "could have been taken from one of our blog posts." Maybe a commenter joked about Weldon shooting Marty Moss-Coane or something. [MyDD]

• Sad news, as it's rumored that Don Vito is in the hospital. Vito, of course, was the loveable uncle on the way-better-than-you'd-ever-expect-it-to-be Viva La Bame, which I'd agree was full of all the suburban Philadelphia goodness that I don't know if you can get anywhere else. [Philebrity]

• Every time you start to dislike the Philadelphia Daily News, you can just look at the cluttered front pages of the New York Post and feel a little better that, at the very worst, at last our city's tab is designed well. [SteveSilver.net]

• The Phillies departed this town 1-5, but now that they're returning 5-7 -- hey, it's a little better, okay -- after a nice road trip we can all be somewhat excited. Even better, yesterday was the first time in 888 games that a visiting team won 1-0 in homer happy Coors Field. [Beerleaguer]

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April 12, 2006

Leftovers: Money For Nothing

• There are a slew of mayoral candidates are aren't really "candidates" because they don't yet want to adhere to the new strict fundraising guidelines: $2,500 for individuals and $10,000 for corporations. Still, since everyone knows they're running for mayor (or planning to run), a lawsuit has been filed. Surely, this lawsuit will restore honesty and integrity to our political process! Or it will make lawyers some money. One of the two. [Inky]

• There's a pillowfight in Love Park this Saturday. If you're interested, get in on this before the city closes down the park, retools it to be unfriendly to pillowfighters and pisses off the huge ESPN Pillowfighting Games that happen to be taking place at the same time, thereby ruining any chances to have them here every year. [Phillyist]

• More children this year are dressing up for Easter. Unfortunately, they're dressing up in suits and ties for mass, and not in some sort of fun bunny costumes. Alas. [KYW 1060]

• When they finally open slots parlors in Philadelphia -- est. date of completion 2034 -- who wants to be they're old Atlantic City knockoffs that can't accept the new $10 bill? In fact, if you want to bet that they'll never have that or a similar problem, I'll take you up on that offer. [AP/6 ABC]

• Finally, yes, that's me making my debut in cartoon form in this week's PW. Thanks to supercartoonist Jay Bevenour for realizing that, yes, if Curt Weldon were strangling a bunny and sitting on a puppy, I would be shocked and appalled. [PW]

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April 06, 2006

Curt Weldon, M.D.

You might remember Curt Weldon from his theory that if the government had listened to him, the terrorist attacks wouldn't have happened. (Essentially.) He's also said that Osama Bin Laden is dead. He gets all this through "secret sources."

Fair enough. He's a member of the U.S. House, though. Tell me one House member who hasn't done anything wild and wacky in their careers. The one who hit the cop or the one who just resigned in disgrace? Then again, neither of those House members have -- at least not recently -- criticized an upcoming election opponent for staying with his daughter while she was in the hospital.

Weldon's November opponent is Joe Sestak, a native of Springfield, Pa., and a three-star general in the Navy who retired Jan. 1 after 31 years. Of course, when he got back he was only renting a home in Pennsylvania while continuing to have a residence in Virginia.

That might be something to bash, except that Sestak was staying with his daughter. At Children's National Medical Center. Who was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor last summer and was given three to nine months to live. He kept living there because her condition improved, and she might've beaten the cancer.

This is a time when you call your opponent up and tell him you're thrilled with the news. But, oh, not Curt Weldon:

Weldon attacked Sestak's decision to continue owning a home in Virginia while only renting in Pennsylvania and questioned why Sestak did not move back to Pennsylvania when he was working at the Pentagon. Weldon commutes from Pennsylvania each day.

Weldon also suggested Sestak should have sent his daughter to a hospital in Philadelphia or Delaware, rather than the Washington hospital. Sestak said that as soon as doctors give his daughter the all-clear, he'll buy in Pennsylvania.

He told his opponent he should have moved his daughter, who had a malignant brain tumor, to a closer hospital because... you know, it doesn't even matter why he said it. He told a newspaper -- so this wasn't like an offhand remark, either -- that a father should leave his daughter with a malignant brain tumor.

Joe Sendak has, of course, responded, and he does a nice job of it. Although, to be fair, he could have released a video of himself pissing on a photo of Curt Weldon and he'd still be the classier candidate.

Sestak’s battles — naval, familial and political [The Hill]
Joe Sestak's Daughter Had a Brain Tumor [Eschaton]
March 15: Mr. Perfect he ain't

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March 15, 2006

Mr. Perfect he ain't

At this point, everyone pretty much has figured out that the government screwed up regarding 9/11. Whether you blame Bush, Clinton, Congress, the CIA, the FBI, the ATF, the Transportation Department, HUD or that guy who got shot by Dick Cheney, pretty much you realize the government screwed up. (And, even if you're one of those conpiracy theorists, you still probably blame the U.S. government, just in a sinister way.)

Local Congressman Curt Weldon thinks the government is to blame, but he has a twist on the idea: If the government had listened to Curt Weldon, 9/11 would have been avoided. I mean, we still would have had the day, just no terrorists would have knocked down any buildings.

Weldon has made the charge that a secret government program called "Able Danger" recommended taking out Mohammad Atta and two others before 9/11, but the government failed to act. He's written a book to this effect.

Of course -- whether Weldon was being truthful or not -- a bunch of military guys said they never saw Atta's photo and Weldon himself isn't sure of it anymore. Hmm.

But, fear not! He's come up with a way to move the attention from his "Able Danger" allegations to something even better, according to the Inquirer:

Yet even as his story triggers more and more questions, Weldon is making explosive new allegations. He says a high-level source has told him that terrorist leader Osama bin Laden has died in Iran, where he has been in hiding.

Yeah, dude, I dunno about that. You think Osama would pass up getting a look at his niece's reality show?

Weldon 9/11 tale unravels, but wait [Inky]
Bin Laden's Singing Niece Gets Reality Show [Billboard]

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