March 27, 2007

Upstanding Citizen As Much Of A Liar As Rest Of Us

Anthony James Zasa Jr., a former high school wrestler who handed Shute his first loss and got the hot older babe, worked at national youth rehabilitation org VisionQuest, helping kids get off the drugs for 25 years.

Well, it turns out he was doing something else, too: Working for a Mexican drug cartel smuggling cocaine and crystal meth into the country. Of course!

Federal authorities said Zasa and his brother attempted to send $4 million of cocaine across the country in a motor home. (Oddly enough, this was the original plot of the Robin Williams family comedy RV.) His brother was caught during a routine traffic stop and then decided to rat on Zasa and other partners in the drug smuggling scheme.

Much like the gay naked meth-dealin' principal, Zasa isn't alleged to have used his connections with VisionQuest to sell any drugs to kids. All the people in the organization are shocked and confused.

DEA Special Agent Douglas Collier chimed in:

"You don't normally start a business with 466 pounds of cocaine and 75 pounds of methamphetamine."

Ha, Special Agent Collier, clearly you're forgetting a little website called Amazon.com.

Life of caring was a cover, officials say [Inquirer]

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February 28, 2007

Principal Arrested For Dealing Meth, Scrubbing His Skin Until He Can Get All The Giant Spiders Off

The principal of a middle school in Bethlehem has been arrested for allegedly being a meth dealer. Cops say 50-year-old John Acerra sold crystal meth to police informants three times this month.

Now, why would a man in a such a low-paying position of middle school principal attempt to make extra money in the occasionally high-paying profession of illegal drug sales? Oh, wait. Police say Acerra used and sold crystal meth for at least five months before his arrest, and had meth on his desk when he was arrested.

Cops originally found out due to a police informant. After witnessing a drug deal, the cops arrested the dude who bought the drugs, who then wore a wire in order to catch the principal dealing and eradicate meth from Bethlehem forever. Acerra, of course, sold the meth from his office.

Police asked the confidential informant about the principal after some curious special days at the school, like "Stay Up For Three Days Straight Day" and "Holy Shit They're Closing In On Me Day", not to mention "The Dogs, The Dogs, They're All After Me Day."

Nitschmann principal in meth bust [Allentown Morning Call]
Reports: Principal Busted For Selling Meth In School Office [NBC 10]

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