October 31, 2007

Super Huge Pop Star Censored By Government

Hey, everybody, Will Bunch has our newest thing to boycott: It's Star 104.5! Or, rather, Alice 104.5. Wait. Maybe it's the station that simulcast WJJZ 106.1. Oh, wait, Rumba 104.5?

Wait, that's right, I actually wrote about this before. (In the previous paragraph, I forgot Sunny 104.5, but that was in my article.) Anyway, Bunch says the station, now on an alt-rock format, was told by its owner not to play the new Bruce Springsteen song!

Yay! The new one that sounds just like "867-5309/Jenny"? Are they maybe worried about being sued by Tommy Tutone? Oh, no, wait, it's his new track "Magic" which the always-reliable Fox News says Clear Channel has ordered its stations not to play.

Like Springsteen, these "older" artists have been relegated to something called Triple A format stations — i.e. either college radio or small artsy stations such as WFUV in the Bronx, N.Y., which are immune from the Clear Channel virus of pre-programming and where the number of plays per song is a fraction of what it is on commercial radio.

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August 21, 2007

Police Chief Takes Time Out From Fighting Crime To Bash Cartoon Praise New Billboards

Hey, everybody: Your favorite company is at it again! Yes, that's right, my and your favorite American corporation, Clear Channel, is about to install video billboards in the Philadelphia area.

Now, Clear Channel, being the great benevolent corporation that they are, knew people might get a little upset about LED billboards that rotate every 8 seconds, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, 1000 years a millennium. And so the great Clear Channel was way ahead of you there.

Kauker recruited two local law-enforcement officials - Philadelphia Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson and Fred Harran, director of public safety in Bensalem Township, Bucks County - to endorse the video billboard.

Johnson was quoted in a ClearChannel statement as saying digital billboards were in the "community's best interests because they have the capability to deliver important emergency information, such as Amber Alerts or disaster-preparedness bulletins."

Ahh, so nice when the head of the police force whores himself out to a major corporation. Maybe Clear Channel can spend 8 seconds a day encouraging citizens to snitch.

Video billboards coming this way [Inquirer]
Nov. 30, 2005: Drawing conclusions

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