April 21, 2008

Chelsea Clinton Has The Ass Of Life

Photo via Brett Lieberman, Pennsyltucky Politics

Chelsea Clinton was in town Friday night, and boy did she have a fabulous time! And why not: She hit all the gay bars in Center City, along with Ed Rendell and Rob Reiner. She even went to Tavern on Camac and Sisters! (Her pub crawl also included Woody's and Bump. What, no Uncle's?)

When Chelsea was little, Rush Limbaugh called her ugly and everybody got mad at him. But nobody's calling Chelsea unattractive now. "Chelsea, the gays love you," shouted one gay person. "We love your highlights -- you're gorgeous baby!" said another, which prompted bisexual hottie Anne Dicker to say, "Maybe they're swingers." Sadly, Chelsea could not visit the now-closed Club Kama Sutra to find out.

Continue reading "Chelsea Clinton Has The Ass Of Life"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:16 AM | Comments (6)

April 16, 2008

Angry Chelsea And Mayor Nutter!

This was on the debate, a few minutes ago. Whoo! Look how angry Chelsea Clinton is. Nutter looks pretty nerdy, as usual.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:28 PM | Comments (3)

March 27, 2008

Chelsea Clinton Lies, Too

Much like her lyin' mother, it appears Chelsea Clinton's appearance at Woody's (above, and all over El Internet) is a fraud. Alli Katz IMed to me that the flier is a big giant fat lie as the campaign says Chelsea Clinton won't be at Woody's.

Aww, major bummer! It's okay, though, if you as much as think about Chelsea Clinton the Secret Service gets your fired from your job, so it's probably best to just stay away.

Update: Couple IMs and emails say it's definitely on and OMG Chelsea is soooo going to be at Woody's and blah blah blah.

Chelsea Only Maybe Hanging Out With the Gays [Independence Brawl]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:52 PM | Comments (2)

March 05, 2008

Obama, Chelsea, Possible Live TV Sex

Ever since I was called "obsess[ed] with sex" by Philadelphia magazine back in early 2006, I've grown to become even more obsessed with sex. And if I can make jokes and innuendos about it, then even better!

Hey, so here's the end of Obama's hopefully change speech last night, for which the camera was awfully shaky on CNN (at least reports PW editor Alli Katz, who is not tired of election coverageas I am). After about a minute of cliches from The Biggest Loser -- who somehow is eliminated even though he won every single state in the Union before last night (and several in the Confederacy) -- the shaky camera stops and -- whoops! -- up pops a CNN anchor. Ho ho! Yes, I am always excited to insinuate blowjobs and defame innocent people (see previous mention of 'being on the Internet 100% of the time').

Meanwhile, Chelsea Clinton is already working her corner for Mom in Pennsylvania today; either that, or she's in town to buy a Powerball ticket. Clinton is appearing at (where else?) Penn, where she will attempt to get 34th Street editors fired, I bet.

And, hey, Gar Joseph and Will Bunch have a podcast about how big Pennsylvania is next month! The end of next month! Keep tuned in to Philadelphia Will Do to see a case study on the effects of brain melt on a writer. Aargh.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:31 PM | Comments (0)