June 30, 2008

Philly.com Continues Baiting Its Readers

Philly.com's current previous front is devoted to Karen Heller's column on cheesesteaks. Heller's column is mostly a recap of the recent hilarious Internet drama-style cheesesteak war in City Council, but veers off at the end into a discussion about why the cheesesteak is annoying. Heller proposes the city's sandwich be a "roast pork Italian with aged provolone and broccoli rabe." (Hmm. A bit wordy for my taste, though I do appreciate any sort of attack on cheesesteaks, the most overdone Philly thing besides Rocky.)

There isn't any new Alycia Lane or Kidd Chris news, so Philly.com plastered this on the front page. And now there are over 100 comments. And they're pretty typical of the website with the world's stupidest readers; my favorite is, "Next person who tries to defend this woman will find me outside of their residence/place of business w/ a tire iron and a determination to 'keep it real.'"

We're coming up on even slower news days -- both later this week and in the news-dry month of August. John Carroll and I came up with some future front-page topics for Philly.com, which you can read below. These are sure to attract a ton of comments.

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Posted by D-Mac at 04:02 PM | Comments (6)

June 26, 2008

City Council Is Like The Internet

Where can you find people who treat things like the closing of a cheesesteak shop with all the intensity one might find at the Battle of Guadalcanal? Right: The Internet. But you can also apparently find them in City Council.

Yesterday, At-Large City Councilman Bill Green wrote a hilariously serious letter to the Daily News titled "cheesesteak in society." In the letter -- about the booting of Rick's Steaks from the Reading Terminal -- he wrote that "people entrusted with preserving public assets apparently abusing their positions of authority to advantage their friends and associates." He also noted that he went to grade school with Rick Olivieri.

Councilman Frank DiCicco wasn't having any of it, firing off a letter (and CC:ing City Council and the mayor) telling Green: "I read with interest your letter in today's Daily News and continue to marvel at your inexperiences, your political naivete and your inability to see an issue for what it truly is." He also accuses Green of "merely attempting to grand stand and gain public notoriety."

And then, at the end of the whole hilariously over-the-top letter, he writes this:

In closing, I have earned a reputation of being one of the most level-headed members of Council. I am proud of my ability to build consensus because I treat each member, whether freshman or veteran, with the respect he or she deserves. Unfortunately, with you, I have reached the end of my rope and would strongly suggest that you alter your tactics and tone.

You really need to read the whole letter. As you can see, it is certainly nice and level-headed.

Cheesesteak retort comes with some hot pepper [Daily News]
Photo by kaplanbr, Creative Commons license

Posted by D-Mac at 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

April 23, 2008

Comedy Show On (No Way!) Cheesesteaks

Hey, guess what? A comedy show came to Philadelphia for a week, and while it was here filmed a little bit about cheesesteaks. Yes, I"m pretty shocked as well, since nobody who ever comes to Philadelphia ever mentions cheesesteaks.

Stephen Colbert introduced the bit with a quip about how Hillary vs. Barack wasn't the only battle Tuesday night. He then said Pat's vs. Geno's does a battle every day! Oh, man, how do these comedy news producers find this stuff? I didn't know anybody knew about Pat's and Geno's!

Despite all that, it's still pretty funny. Video after the jump.

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Posted by D-Mac at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)

March 19, 2008

Why Is There No Barkley Statue?

I actually spotted this ad for the first time last night; it's the new Dwayne Wade/Charles Barkley T-Mobile ad. While the series has produced some of the more entertaining on TV recently -- they're no Spy Hunter Pontiac ad, however -- this one is so far the best.

And we totally need to build a statue of Sir Charles riding a horse, eating a cheesesteak. We can put it right in front of Pat's. Or, hell, maybe Chink's!

Posted by D-Mac at 09:42 AM | Comments (1)

October 01, 2007

Fascist Presidential Candidate To Eat Xenophobic Cheesesteak

Doin' anything tonight? Well, now you are, because the Official Presidential Candidate of 9/11 is going to be eating at Geno's tonight!

Presidential candidates usually stop at Pat's and Geno's, but now that Geno's owner Joe Vento -- a resident of New Jersey -- has become the poster child for hating the Mexicans that moved in to South Philly, the creepy Republican candidates will all be stopping at Geno's to let them know how they're going to build 300 Guantanamo Bays and end all immigration and, in the case of Ron Paul, collapse the global economy. (Update: Ron Paul's election would also blow up the Earth.)

Republican presidential front-runner Rudy Giuliani will be in South Philadelphia this evening. The former New York mayor is scheduled to be at Geno's Steaks on South Ninth Street at 6:45 p.m. to visit with area residents.

Geno's Steaks is owned by Joey Vento, who got national and international attention last year for posting a sign in the window declaring: "This is America. When ordering, speak English." In his campaign, Giuliani has said that anyone seeking American citizenship should be required to read, write and speak English.

Guiliani will then imprison any residents who jaywalk after he makes fun of John Kerry for ordering a steak with Swiss on it like four years ago.

Giuliani to visit Geno’s Steaks tonight [Inquirer]

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July 05, 2007

Something Is Rotten In The Market Of Reading Terminal

Nowadays, the only real cheesesteak news is how Joey Vento of Geno's has singlehandedly destroyed the immigration bill, saving America from the Mexican menace. But there's a new cheesesteak controversy: Rick's Steaks has been kicked out of Reading Terminal.

Rick's owner Rick Oliveri, who managed to supplant Geno's as one of the Ashburn Alley steak vendors in Citizens Bank Park this season, says he's being kicked out because, as president of the merchants' association, negotiated longer hours and a few other things. Oliveri doesn't say who's angry -- management? other vendors? -- but he does say something is up: “I think it's retaliation. It's a concern for merchants, and as president, to make sure merchants are getting the best bang for the dollar at the Reading Terminal Market.”

Tony Luke's will be replacing Rick's at Reading Terminal after Rick's vacates by July 31. I think we all know who's to blame: The Pennsylvania Dutch. They're always up to no good!

Long-Time Reading Terminal Merchant Gets the Boot [KYW 1060]
Mind your language at Geno's [BBC]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:01 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

October 19, 2006

Leftovers: Citizen Tierney

• Steve Volk reports in an online exclusive today that management at the Inquirer and Daily News (i.e. Brian Tierney) is threatening layoffs. (And the two papers might share photographers.) Hey, they were right! Brian Tierney is their kind of people! You know, since the previous bosses were always trying to find ways to cut costs, and this one is too. [PW]

• Let's just go and say how totally awesome this is: Frank Gehry will be designing the Art Museum's new underground addition. I guess the board didn't like my "boxing ring from Rocky" proposal. [Inquirer]

• As you probably know, Pat's is now suing Rick's for stealing their name and history and crown or something. Geno's is suing Tony Luke's for not being American enough. And Steve's Price of Steaks continues to skate by, unabated. [Daily News]

• The state actually did something competent, kids! The Pennsylvania Environmental Quality Board voted to curb mercury emissions from coal plants today, superceding lower federal levels. Hooray! [AP/Yahoo!]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 21, 2006

With Cheesesteaks, Experience Matters

Do you know how to cook meat? Can you pronounce "Amoroso roll" in three syllables or less? Will you refuse service to Mexican immigrants? Do you have a Master's from the Philadelphia Cheesesteak Institute? Do you have a reference from someone with the last name of Oliveri or Luke?

If so, do I have a job for you!

Please bring a resume and a 500-word essay on your experience cooking cheesesteaks.

Posted by D-Mac at 10:50 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 13, 2006

NBC 10 Tugs At Our Primal Urges

The current top four stories on NBC 10's website:

Those primal urges, of course, are sex and cheesesteaks.

NBC 10

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March 23, 2006

Herr's To Unveil New, Possibly Disgusting Potato Chip

Tomorrow, at Geno's Steaks, Herr's will unveil their newest product, Philly cheesesteak-flavored potato chips. Let me be the first to say: Ew.

I'm not quite sure the draw of these potato chips -- if I wanted a cheesesteak, I'd buy a cheesesteak, but perhaps the chips'll be good. The event at Geno's tomorrow is from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. If you're in the area, you can get some free chips.

Also, if you happen to be a member of the media, the press release says you get a free case of cheesesteak-flavored kettle chips, so if you want to pretend to be Bill Conlin or something, feel free.

A story in Metro today also has the news that a Philadelphia cheesesteak song will be debuted at a martial arts tournament in South Philly.

And the song is co-written by Tony Luke Jr. Really, you can't make this shit up. Full release from Herr's after the jump.

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Posted by D-Mac at 11:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)