July 01, 2008

Brett Myers Sent To Minors

Via a multitude of celebratory instant messages and emails, Brett Myers has been sent down to AAA Lehigh Valley. No word on who's being called up to take his place, but at least Myers and his 5.84 ERA get to work things out with the IronPigs for a while.

Update: Todd Zolecki writes Myers had to accept the assignment, and did so graciously.

Posted by D-Mac at 04:26 PM | Comments (1)

February 18, 2008

Kyle Kendrick Gets Punk'd By Teammates

So here's the prank the Phillies pulled on Kyle Kendrick, with an intro from a pair of way too perky ESPNEWS anchors. Charlie Manuel told him he was traded to Japan for Kobayashi, the hot dog eating champ. What's amazing about this prank is how much effort and planning went into it. I'm impressed, frankly.

Posted by D-Mac at 09:22 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

August 28, 2007

Pat The Bat Popped Out Again

By now you may have heard about the verbal altercation between Phillies pitcher Brett "The Incredible Hulk" Myers and Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi, where Myers called Carchidi a "fucking retard." There's audio from KYW 1060 here. While it's not, "We talkin' bout practice," it is pretty good.)

Taking a cute from Dawn Stensland, Myers' later apologized to any retards he offended. Weird thing is, Myers has had his alleged physical-alertcation-with-wife problems, but he usually doesn't blow up at reporters or anything, except for this one mild-mannered reporter.

But who cares about that. After Myers's and Carchidi's voices began to raise, Pat Burrell -- wearing only a towel -- attempted to calm things down. Burrell is currently doing everything right. And what happened, but, whoops, the towel fell off.

Brett Myers blows (the game); screams obscenities at reporter [Bugs & Cranks]
Myers Apologizes for Word Choice [AP/Comcast SportsNet]
March 15: Retards Force Dawn Stensland To Apologize

Posted by D-Mac at 03:15 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

August 21, 2007

Brett Myers Will Not Listen To Your Suggestions

The Phillies head home tonight for a four-game homestand against two of the teams ahead of them in the standings (Padres, 1 game up in Wild Card; Mets, 5 games up in NL East) and one team just behind 'em, the Los Angeles Dodgers, who the Fightins play tonight.

The Phils might not play tonight if the rain keeps up, but sometime this homestand Phillies fans are likely to hear the new music of starter-turned-closer Brett Myers, which fans were able to vote for on Philly.com and... oh.

Myers thinks he has his song. He's leaning toward P.O.D.'s "Lights Out," which has appropriate lyrics: "It's lights out. Game over. If you wanna, you can check my stats."

Readers at philly.com voted that Myers should use the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" as his intro music, but Myers likes P.O.D. more. Sorry, folks.

So not only did Brett Myers not listen to your selection, but he has the musical taste of a 14-year-old.

Update: Oh, wait! (And, uh: My bad.) The song Myers wanted didn't win the first time, so Philly.com did a second poll so the song Myers wanted could win. This is what's known as the Lehigh Valley IronPigs Memorial Method of Allowing The Fans to "Vote," though I should probably come up with something catchier than that. (Thanks, J.)

The Biggest Homestand Ever [The Zo Zone]
Game chat: Rain lingering for start of Dodgers series [Beerleaguer]
Turn it up, man [Inquirer, 3rd item]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 03:48 PM | Comments (201) | TrackBack (0)

May 24, 2007

Road To 10,000 Losses: Wait, That Was A Win?

Road to 10,000 Losses is a countdown to the Phillies' 10,000th loss, coming sometime later this year. After splitting the first two games of the Marlins series, the Phillies stand at 9978 losses, only 22 away from 10,000.

The Phillies are never going to top .500. The 23-23 Phillies have hit the .500 mark at 20, 21, 22 and 23 wins, but have lost the next game each time. The Phillies, though, have kept creeping back up to .500, including an 8-7 10 inning win last night.

But, right. Last night's ninth inning could leave the Phillies in trouble for a couple of weeks. The Phillies scored three in the top of the ninth. In the bottom of the ninth, two bloop singles and a triple made it 7-5. Hanley Ramirez grounded to Greg Dobbs, who threw home instead of taking the easy out at first. Dobbs was remorseful:

"I'm sick to my stomach," said Greg Dobbs, who was responsible for one of the two defensive lapses. "I want to eat, but can't. I feel tremendously responsible for that inning because we should have had three outs." [...]

"I wasn't," he said. "Quote it. Print it right on front page. 'What was Dobbs thinking?' I saw it all happen right in front of me in super slow mo. As I released the ball, I went 'whyyyyyyyyy. What are you doing?' I should've taken the ball and either tagged Ramirez or gone to the bag, instead of being way too aggressive. It was just stupid. Afterward, I was so disgusted with myself that I just started walking in circles, thinking 'Did I just do that?'"

Okay, calm down, Greg. It's okay. We forgive you.

Continue reading "Road To 10,000 Losses: Wait, That Was A Win?"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:22 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

April 19, 2007

Road To 10,000 Losses: The Circus

Road to 10,000 Losses is a countdown to the Phillies' 10,000th loss, coming sometime later this year. With a 5-4 loss to the Nationals yesterday, the Phillies stand at 9965 losses, only 35 away from 10,000.

I've written before about how it's perfect the Phillies will be hitting loss number 10,000 this season because they are finding new ways to lose each and every game so far this season. There are plenty of ways to lose a baseball game. But if the Phillies continue playing as poorly as they are this season, they might actually exhaust all those possibilities.

Last night in the top of the 11th inning, with a man on second and two outs, Cole Hamels -- a pitcher pinch hitting because the Phillies were out of players -- walked. Jimmy Rollins, one of the best Phillies' players in this young season, came to the plate. Washington changed pitchers, and the TV broadcast went to commercial.

It wouldn't have been bad enough -- this is Philadelphia, after all -- for Jimmy Rollins to ground out on the first pitch thrown by Ryan Wagner. No, instead Rollins ends the inning while Philadelphia fans watching on CN8 see a commercial for the circus.

Continue reading "Road To 10,000 Losses: The Circus"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

April 02, 2007

Another Season Of Disappointment Begins Today

After watching the Flyers and 76ers sputter to about 8 wins combined in the 2007 season and the Eagles fall just short of, uh, the NFC Championship Game, baseball is finally here.

The Phillies take on the Braves today on CBS 3 at 1 p.m. in the season and home opener for the local nine. There are high expectations for the Phillies this year -- playoffs, at the very least -- which makes sense, since the team returns MVP Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, etc.

Heck, people are so excited about the Phillies this year the Inquirer unfroze Bill Lyon yesterday to write about the team. (He, like me, thinks they're going to break your heart again. But isn't that part of the fun -- finding how just how the Phillies will break your heart this time?)

Continue reading "Another Season Of Disappointment Begins Today"

Posted by D-Mac at 09:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

February 02, 2007

Phillies Give Fat 12-7 Wife Beater $26 Mil

Yesterday, the Phillies signed up their fattest, wife-beatinest pitcher who went 12-7 last year to a three year deal worth $25.7 million. Yep, Brett "The Incredible Hulk" Myers has been locked up.

No, no, not by the police. (Rimshot.) The Phillies have signed him to a three-year deal covering his final two years of arbitration and his first year of free agency. (If you don't know what those terms mean, arbitration would have been a one-year contract with the Phillies, whereas in free agency Myers could have signed anywhere. Capice?)

Myers, as you may remember, was arrested over the summer for allegedly punching his wife on a Boston street corner. The charges were later dropped, and after starting the next day for the Phillies, he then went on a leave of absence in which the Phillies also missed his pitching skills.

So, perhaps this contract means Myers has his act together off the field. (It hopefully does.) But, since it's Philadelphia, expect Brett Myers to go 7-15 with a 5.25 ERA next season on the field.

Myers reaches agreement on $25.7 million, 3-year deal [Daily News]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 09:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 05, 2006

Myers Gets (Gasp!) Nothing For Hitting Wife

Brett Myers was in Boston court today regarding charges he beat his wife on a Boston street corner back in June.

Myers' wife, Kim, wants the charges dropped, but prosecutors want Myers to serve two years of probation, enter a program for spousal abusers and undergo alcohol abuse evaluation. Seems pretty reasonable, but nothing's set in stone yet. Myers, though, was the hot item in court today:

Myers, an ace of the Phillies staff, finished the season 12-7 with a 3.91 ERA. He was treated as a celebrity Thursday by court officers, who shook his hand. One told him, "Good luck, it will be all right" while another said, "Nice seeing you again."

If we see some Brett Myers autographed court dockets on eBay tomorrow, you'll know where they came from.

Update, 2:48 p.m.: The charges against Myers have been dropped, dude to his wife's wishes. And they lived happily ever after.

Wife of Phillies' Myers wants case dropped [AP/Philly.com]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 01:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 14, 2006

Leftovers: A Gay American (And A Gay Talk Show Host)

• Guess who might be a co-host on Joan Rivers "queer version of The View"? That's right, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey! We can't wait for the episode about appointing your alleged lover to a position in Homeland Security. [NY Post]

• Terrell Owens hasn't practiced with the Cowboys for 12 days. All together now: Hmmmm... [NBC 10 Eagles Blog]

• PATCO has begun a rollout of new high-speed line fare cards that are much easier than the old card system Patco used. SEPTA is not thinking of changing its "three chickens and a goat" fare system anytime soon. [KYW 1060]

• The 911 calls from the Brett Myers incident have been released; naturally, they contain this line from a caller: "What a stupid idiot." [Inquirer]

• Thousands mobbed American Idol auditions at the Meadowlands today. Yep. Thousands of horsemen and horsewomen of the apocalypse. [AP/Camden Courier-Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 20, 2006

Headline: Real Or 'The Onion'?

Myers' first home start is Saturday. Oh, it should be an interesting one.

Brett Myers Atones For Punching Wife With Solid Seven-Inning Outing [The Onion]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 12, 2006

Phillies Finally Get Story Straight (Maybe)

Gee. Thanks, Dave.

Phillies Prez Admits, Maybe Myers Incident DID Happen [KYW 1060]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 11, 2006

Bill Giles Opens Mouth, Remembers Why He Usually Doesn't Talk To Press

Okay, let's tread slowly into this one, shall we? Bill Giles has an interview in the Inquirer today with Todd Zolecki where he, uhm, speaks about the Phillies and shows why he should probably keep his mouth shut.

Here are the opening questions, and the money quotes:

Q: What did you hear [about the Myers incident]?

A: "I don't know that I'm privileged to say. I'm not the spokesman for the Phillies. I do know what really happened was a lot less than what the public thinks happened and that's the sad part because some bystander saw something that really didn't happen. Brett was trying to help his wife." [...]

Q: But witnesses saw it.
A: "One of our employees [marketing manager Debbie Nocito] saw the whole thing. She said, 'He did not hit her at all, and he didn't grab her hair or anything.' So all the reports were untrue, from what I understand."

After the jump, some more Giles quotes, some analysis and some good old-fashioned bashing of WIP.

Continue reading "Bill Giles Opens Mouth, Remembers Why He Usually Doesn't Talk To Press"

Posted by D-Mac at 02:18 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

June 30, 2006

Obsessive Clinton Disorder

You might think that former president and noted womanizer Bill Clinton doesn't have much to do with Brett Myers' arrest. Then again, you might not be obsessed with him.

Writing in today's Evening Bulletin, Michael P. Tremoglie accuses Bill Clinton of beating up a woman, too, and whines that Clinton was allowed to make his next scheduled start in the rotation without any condemnation:

The reaction by feminists to the alleged spousal abuse by Phillies' pitcher Brett Myers is an excellent example of vile hypocrisy. It would even be amusing if it were not so pathetic. The condemnations of Myers by feminists (and holier-than-thou hypocritical journalists) were swift, certain and loud. [...]

Contrast NOW's reaction to a baseball player's alleged spousal assault to their statements regarding similar allegations of assault against a female (albeit not his wife) by a President of the United States, Bill Clinton. NOW made this tepid 1998 statement about the alleged assault of Kathleen Willey, "If the chief executive of the United States uses that position of power in the way that's been alleged, it has a very serious impact on women in the workplace."

We will never know the truth about Broaddrick's accusation of sexual assault by Clinton? Why? Because it was twenty years old? Or because he was a Democrat president who favored abortion? [...]

The only people who believe them are liberals - and to paraphrase Ronald Reagan - it is not that liberals do not know anything, it is that so much of what they know is not true.

If anyone comes up with a phrase that's roughly 10 times stronger than "holier than thou," let me know, because I'd like to apply it to Tremoglie. If this column weren't so pathetic -- aren't columns supposed to convince someone of something rather than just preach to the choir? -- it'd be amusing. Oh, wait. It is amusing.

A Tale of Two Abusers [Evening Bulletin]
If you're wondering, yes, that headline says both men are guilty. I dunno.

Posted by D-Mac at 03:16 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Comment Of The Century

On the Phillies recap from the Inquirer:

Interactivity! The wave of the future! Citizen journalism!

Comments on Madson puts end to Phils' drought [Inquirer]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 10:30 AM | Comments (103) | TrackBack (0)

June 29, 2006

Pot, Kettle: Meet Phillies

Today's Daily News reports on, uh, a blog postthat was taken down after people got upset.

The blog post in question was by phillyBurbs.com's Dave Ralis, who started selling wife beater -- if the only media you've ever seen is this site, a wife beater is a tank top undershirt -- t-shirts with Brett Myers' number on them. (Not the one at right: that's from The Illadelph, although nothing was being sold there.)

I saw the wife beater post and Cafepress store yesterday, and I decided not to write about it because, uhm, it's the stupidest, easiest joke in the history of the world. Want to know how stupid and easy it was? I didn't even make it.

Naturally, however, the Phillies are upset:

"It makes me sick," one Phillie told the People Paper's Marcus Hayes when the player learned of the site's offering.

"The Phillies find it extremely offensive that any person or business would make fun of the very serious issue of domestic abuse much less attempt to make money from it," the team said in a statement on its Web site.

Ahh, yes. Some dude on a blog making fun of Myers with a tasteless joke is way worse than sending Myers out to pitch the day after he was arrested for beating his wife because he's your best pitcher.

Personally, I think the Phillies are just pissed they didn't think of the idea first and weren't getting a cut of the sales.

Update: phillyBurbs.com has posted an apology. I'll throw it after the jump.

Dave Ralis' Home Turf [phillyBurbs.com]
Phillies tire of alienating their few remaining fans; make belated effort to save face [The Illadelph]
Dan Gross | Newspapers' 'wife beater' clothing sparks outrage [Daily News]

Continue reading "Pot, Kettle: Meet Phillies"

Posted by D-Mac at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 28, 2006

Phillies Strike Out On And Off The Field

By now you've undoubtedly heard that Phillies pitcher Brett Myers, arrested for allegedly assaulting his wife, has taken a two-and-a-half week absence from the team.

The story goes that the pitcher asked for a leave of absence himself, rather than be told by the team to take one. Phil Sheridan has a very nice column today about how the Phillies' front office managed to handle Myers' arrest even worse than anything else:

The Phillies failed miserably. Montgomery attempts to explain why in his statement.

"We have been engaged in a difficult balancing of concerns for the rights of our employee, the presumption of innocence, the rights of his spouse, and the legitimate public concern about allegations of spousal abuse by a Phillies ballplayer," Montgomery's statement reads.

And it's true. These matters are complicated. Everyone involved has rights. This is a matter for the courts to handle. That's why no one has reasonably suggested the Phillies handcuff Myers to the bumper of the team bus, or beat him with fungo bats or do anything else that would trample his rights.

But holding him out of one turn in the rotation - 36 hours after he was fingerprinted and booked on felony criminal charges - would have been an obvious and benign and even charitable thing to do.

Sheridan's right. (Overall. Honestly, I think beating Brett Myers with fungo bats would be kinda reasonable. And cool.) The Phillies had a chance to show that they were competent in at least one area, and they blew it big time. Putting the obvious things aside, what exactly did the Phillies think was going to be the reaction to letting Myers start the day after he allegedly beat up his wife?

Hopefully, no one needs to be told that hitting a man hitting his wife is wrong. Really wrong. And I don't think the Phillies think it's right. But by not saying anything, they looked like they simply don't care. Oh, one of our players beat up his wife, oh well, let's move on, there's a game to be played. And they didn't even really do everything right yesterday, either. Among other things, could either prez Dave Montgomery or GM Pat Gillick have made themselves for comment, instead of leaving it up to Charlie Manuel? (CHARLIE MANUEL!!)

Hopefully, the Phillies will get Kim and Brett the help they need, whatever they need and hopefully this story can have some sort of happy ending. But with their track record, well...

The Phils, though, have done one thing that at least makes sense. Brett Myers Back to School Pack Day is now:

See? That's a start.

Myers granted leave of absence [Phillies.com]
Phil Sheridan | After stumbling, it's too late for Phils to wipe slate clean [Inquirer]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 11:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 27, 2006

Boo! To... Kim Myers? Really?

The Daily News' Jen Armstrong -- clearly, peeping hot trends that haven't been reported yet -- weighs in on the Phillies' reaction to the arrest of Brett Myers.

Or, rather, the lack of reaction, since he pitched at Fenway Park the following day, isn't suspended, etc. Armstrong also tells people to email Charlie Manuel to tell them how they feel, which makes an assumption I don't know that I'd make, i.e. that Cholly knows how to use his email. (Ba-dum-pum.)

She also talks with the executive director of Women in Transition as well as a family-law attorney, who gives this quote (emphasis mine):

Lynne Gold-Bikin, a family-law attorney and past chairwoman of the American Bar Association's family-law section, agreed, saying, "Am I pissed off? Yes, I think they people should not go to any games in which he pitches.

"If people truly believe domestic violence is an issue, they ought to walk with their feet and say this is not appropriate," she continued. "And boo to the wife who bailed him out."

Yes, booooo, Kim Myers, booooo! Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo. You were probably in a perfect state of mind after allegedly being attacked by your husband and clearly should have done the decision the former chairwoman of the American Bar Association's family law section would have wanted!

That being said, Armstrong later does point out that it's not uncommon for wives to post bail for their husbands. I don't know what Gold-Bikin thinks of all of them, but I would like to use this space to offer the Phillies another piece of advice. I know you've gotten a lot of it, and I know you seemingly haven't accepted much or any of it, but I think this one is a no-brainer:

Might want to cancel that ASAP.

Update: It's been changed.

Jenice Armstrong | For the Phillies: Boo! [Daily News]
Archives: Brett Myers

Posted by D-Mac at 02:19 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack (0)

June 26, 2006

You Wouldn't Like Brett Myers When He's Angry

Over the weekend, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers started despite being arrested for wife-beating the day before.

Sports columnists reacted pretty much how you'd expect them to act: With a stick up their asses. (Oh, wait, that's every other time.) They did, however, heap loads of scorn on the Phillies for letting Myers start, on Myers for allegedly beating up his wife, etc. (For a wrap-up of reactions, Blinq's got the goods. Someone blames everything on Kim Myers in the comments. Go have a ball.)

But I think more telling than anything written this weekend is this from Myers' Wikipedia page (somebody spellcheck this thing while you're there, please):

In a staple of every Phillies game known as "Ask the Players", while most players responded to the question of "Who was your hero growing up?" with a baseball player, Brett Myers stated that his hero was "The Hulk"

Looks like he's a little too into that hero.

Update: Via Brad Maule, we have some Hulk-like antics from Myers in early 2005.

Brett Myers [Wikipedia]
Chicken Phillie [Blinq]
Myers Flips Out Following Press Luncheon [Can't Stop The Bleeding]
Friday: Phillies Pitcher Brett Myers Arrested

Posted by D-Mac at 12:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 23, 2006

Phillies Pitcher Brett Myers Arrested

Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested and charged with assaulting his wife this morning in Boston.

According to the Associated Press, Myers and his wife got into an argument in downtown Boston, and Myers' wife, Kim Wickman, and two witnesses told police Myers hit her. His wife posted Myers' $200 bail.

His next hearing is Aug. 4. He doesn't have to attend his next hearing in person.

Things just keep getting better and better for the Phillies, don't they?

Brett Myers arrested, charged with assaulting wife [AP/Philly.com]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:35 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)