July 31, 2008

Boobs On The Internet

From the Philadelphia Livejournal, which is pretty much the emo version of Phillyblog:

I am looking for suggestions on where I can order a boob cake. I'd like to have it by Saturday night, which is know is very short notice. Does anyone have any suggestions on a great bakery?

If I can't find one, I'll just have to make one, which I don't really want to do.

What? Who wouldn't want to make a boob cake?

Boob Cake [LJ Philly]

Posted by D-Mac at 11:20 AM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2008

Clinton Likes Breasts As Much As I Do

OH EM GEE Hillary Clinton is going to cure breast cancer! On Ellen!

Posted by D-Mac at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2008

Bra/Wallet Combo To End Poverty

The Daily Pennsylvanian reports on a great new product, in as much as it involves breasts: The Brallet!

It's a combo breast enhancer and wallet so you can have bigger boobs and hold your ID to get into a club and impress a dude with your bigger boobs. The product, conceived by first-year MBA student Sara Tenenbein, is the lead in a story about the Wharton Business Plan Competition. "Other ideas range from socks designed for below-knee amputees [so, mittens?—dmac] to new social networking technology," the DP writes.

Oh, yeah, and then there's this other semifinalist proposing low-cost healthy food for diabetics in India. "India is becoming the diabetic capital of the world," said a team member. But forget that -- it has nothing to do with breasts.

Don't use a purse? Try a brallet [DP]

Posted by D-Mac at 10:09 AM | Comments (2)

February 11, 2008

Breasts To Remain Uncovered

After a two-year legal battle, a judge in New Jersey has thrown out a lawsuit brought by a prison guard claiming she was too well-endowed to wear a protective vest.

Stacey Wilson-Smith, an employee of South Woods State Prison for 25 years, sued the state's Department of Corrections after being repeatedly sent home and then put on unpaid medical leave for refusing to wear the state-issued and mandated protective vest. "Let's just say she's full-bodied," said her lawyer, calling her fat nicely.

Wilson-Smith alleged the vest caused her pain and left her vulnerable to a shiv attack from an inmate. She wasn't allowed to purchase her own vest.

"If she had big feet, would they force her to wear boots that are too small?" her lawyer asked the Courier-Post. You can search online, but somehow I don't think this is her.

Judge: Vest doesn't make for suit [Camden Courier-Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:50 PM | Comments (8)

December 05, 2007

Rittenhouse Grifters Story Continues To Spread

Hey, look at that, the Rittenhouse Grifters story is already all over the news. Basically, here's what the newspaper are running:

That's on Philly.com's front page now, and it links to this Daily News story. I figured I would join the rest of the media outlets in this city and simply use photos of this girl's tits. Hey, she's a hot 22 year old, it's what people actually care about. Lame, but at least I'm honest about it. Bikini photos, too! (We haven't even speculated on who she looks like yet. Somebody said "Erin O'Hearn," but that doesn't count.)

Continue reading "Rittenhouse Grifters Story Continues To Spread"

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October 19, 2007

Finally, Some Good News For A Change

Phew! If you're wondering, the surgeon KYW 1060 talked to was refuting a study from the early 1990s. So if you've been letting the girls hang free for the past 15 years... uh, whoops!

Local Surgeon Says Bras Don't Cause Breast Cancer [KYW 1060]

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September 26, 2007

Fortunately, City Not Neglecting Breasts

Yesterday, City Controller Alan Butkovitz released a report detailing how incompetent the city is, pretty much. (This is his job.)

And one of the more egregious items missing? Why, of course, a mammogram machine, which had somehow apparently been lost. It seems like it might be hard to lose one of those, but, hey, it's Philly.

But fear not, ladies: The mammogram machine has been found; it was never missing in the first place! Hooray!

Acting Health Commissioner John F. Domzalski, appointed on Friday after a department shakeup, said that the machine, reported missing this morning by Controller Alan Butkovitz, is accounted for and operating at Health Center #4.

Domzalski did say that the Controller's other findings appear to be true.

So, you know, we got that at least. Phew.

Mammogram Machine Found! [Heard in the Hall]
Thanks, Citizen Mom

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June 27, 2007

Alycia Lane Bikini Comments, Part 2

I've decided that for the rest of the week -- and by "the week," I mean today and tomorrow -- I'm going to edit the words "Alycia Lane" in relation to seeing her in a bikini like I did yesterday.

Today's winner is Erin O'Hearn, the 6 ABC reporter -- who's quite good, actually -- and who is much like Alycia Lane in that she's a woman and she works on a local TV station.

Yes, I realize I'm "encouraging" the Alycia Lane bikini comments by responding to them, but whatever, now that I've figured out how to do a reasonable approximation of scotch tape in Photoshop¹, it's on. If you're wondering why today's change isn't particularly funny, it's because I'm just setting youse up for tomorrow. Duh. If you're wondering why the woman in the photo I chose has big breasts, uh, I'm a guy.²

¹ Make a new layer, fill in a scotch-tape sized box with light gray (#cccccc if possible) and set opacity to about 50-60 percent.

² Only half true. It was also the first match on Google Image Search. Laziness trumps everything, really.

Yesterday: Regarding The Alycia Lane Bikini Comments

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May 24, 2007

State Senate Strikes Blow For Freedom

The Pennsylvania State Senate has passed legislation that would guarantee a woman the right to breastfeed her baby in public.

But that's not all. A senator is attempting to pass a whole stack of breastfeeding bills. She also has a bill that, ah, "make[s] sure that women who have been breast feeding their children and go back to work, we want to make sure that they’re not punished at their place of work when they take a break to pump milk to bring home to their baby.” Yes! That!

And companies who aid in breastfeeding -- I don't know how this is done -- might be able to get tax breaks under a third bill. Two of the greatest things in the world, together at last: Breasts and tax breaks.

Pa. Senate Passes Public Breast-Feeding Bill [KYW 1060]

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February 01, 2007

'DN' Continues Coverage Of Ivanka Trump's Boobs

The Daily News' Dan Gross continues his coverage of all things Ivanka Trump- and boob-related with another lead item about the Wharton grad's chest. You may remember back last month when Gross reported Ivanka Trump's boobs were much bigger at the Golden Globes than the last time he saw her. She reportedly got implants in Mexico.

Donald Jr. was on John DeBella's 102.9 WMGK morning show yesterday and lashed out at reports about his sister's breast implants, Gross reports:

"Don't piss off an overprotective brother... If you don't want me to explode, you better stop with the Ivanka questions."

Oh snap! After Donald Jr. declared the breasts 100 percent real, Gross called up Ivanka's publicist, who gave this quote from Ivanka: "Completely false. The only thing I do in Mexico is build buildings."

Hmm. That really wasn't a response I was expecting. Did you get breast implants? No, I build buildings!

Dan Gross | Bro: Sis Ivanka's boobs real [Daily News]
Jan. 18: Daily News: Rich People Sometimes Get Boob Jobs

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January 29, 2007

Oh, I Get It! 'Stacked'! Oh, That's Clever

In yesterday's Inquirer, Karen Heller reviews and comments on Stacked: A 32DDD Reports from the Front. (To note: Gawker has doubted her DDD-ness.)

Heller pretty much summarizes the book -- guys care about boobs, guys stare at boobs, bra makers don't make bras right, etc. -- but also offers some of her own advice:

In a survey of 50,000 women and men, almost three-quarters of the female respondents said they desired fuller, rounder breasts. Men were a slightly happier lot: Only 44 percent said they wouldn't mind if their partners had larger ones. However, in the same poll, 85 percent of the women claimed utter satisfaction with their partners' size.

In other words, women are perpetually unhappy with their appearance, ever desirous of change, while men are swell the way they are.

No. In other words, dicks are big, and boobs aren't big enough.

Intuition | Sizing up the female infatuation with big breasts [Inquirer]
Is 'Stacked' Author Susan Seligson Padding Her, Uh, Resume? [Gawker]

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November 07, 2006

Rendell Expands Rapidly-Growing Harem

This photo's from the Henri David Ball on Halloween, found via a set on Flickr. Rendell is one again photographed with some boobs, something he seems to be making a habit of. Considering some of the other photographs taken at the party, it's a pretty safe bet that Midge was off playing Scrabble or something.

Who are you, O mysterious Little Bo Peep? Did Rendell stare? Come on. He totally did, right? You can admit it.

Bo Peep and Friends [Flickr]
Henri David Ball [Flickr]
Archives: Breasts

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October 27, 2006

Here's A Photo Of Ed Rendell With Some Boobs

No! Wait! Wrong kind of boobs! What I meant to post was this photo the Daily News printed and wrote about today:

There we go.

Campaign photo fun [Daily News, 2nd item]
Related, from Tuesday: Lynn Swann Could Kick Your Ass At Beer Pong

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October 26, 2006

Leftovers: You Say Upside-Down Pie, I Say Tomato Pie

• The Daily News otherwise outstanding article about tomato pies at Tony's in Mayfair and other fine pizza places did omit Merc Brothers on the Boulevard. A letter to the editor is forthcoming. [Daily News]

• Get the rid of a drug dealer without selling any drugs! Start your own business? No way! Just pick up a cheap car at Bristol's drug kingpin car auction, this Friday and Saturday. Bids as low as $20! (No, really.) [NBC 10]

• A study says that a bachelor's degree is worth about $23,000 a year. Sweet. Or, if you're a professional blogger, $23,000 less than that. [AP/CBS 3]

• A report out of New York City blames the free daily papers, including the esteemed Metro, for subway flooding. SEPTA hears this, comes up with a great idea for an excuse this winter. [N.Y. Sun]

• And, finally, Tara Reid is blaming her dating woes on her boob job. Yeah, I'm totally stealing that excuse. [NBC 10]

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October 25, 2006

Adwatch: Lois Murphy's Breasts Will Raise Taxes

Welcome to Philadelphia Will Do's Adwatch, yet another hastily thrown together feature that features the best and worst (but mostly the worst) of political advertising. No fact-checking here, unless it's particularly funny. No, Adwatch dissects the ads to find out just what makes them so unintentionally hilarious. (Or, in rare cases, effective.)

Today's ad is an attack ad from the Republican National Congressional Committee, which you may remember from the famous 2004 ads where they essentially accused Democrats of being slaves to Osama Bin Laden. (Or something.) The ads were so over the top that Republican House candidate Mike Fitzpatrick actually asked them to stop running the ads. After the jump, the ad and some commentary.

Continue reading "Adwatch: Lois Murphy's Breasts Will Raise Taxes"

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October 18, 2006

Escalators A Threat To Our Nation's Breasts

As part of Philadelphia Will Do's commitment to bringing you the latest in breast news (as well continuing to have an "obsession with sex," as Phillymag put it), I present to you the intro to today's Daily Candy newsletter:

If you’re a woman, odds are you’ve got some breast issues. ¶ You may love them, you may hate them, you may get them caught in escalators and car doors.

Okay, car doors... maybe. (An endowed friend has told me, "Umm, no.") But escalators? How would that even work? You'd have to fall and then have them be caught under the teeth (or whatever) at the top of bottom. And that'd be, like, a really painful, bloody event. So if that happened a lot you'd think it'd be a national crisis with Dateline specials and protests and maybe even a national task force.

Clearly, I'm thinking about this too much. But, hey, I gotta keep up the image.

Bra Miracle [Daily Candy]

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October 17, 2006

Well, I'm Glad We Cleared This Up

Phew.

Jennifer Aniston: Yes, They're Real [AP/CBS 3]
(Update: They removed the original link, but I found the same story on another part of the site. Should be working now.)

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October 04, 2006

Leftovers: Blogger Battle

• Ooh, blogfight! This time it's between Philebrity editor Joey Sweeney and ex-Philebrity contributor Jonathan Valania. This blogfight is unique in that one of the two doesn't even have a blog yet. Impressive work. Valania sez: "He needs to realize that he didn't invent the Internet in Philadelphia." Point! "He thinks the world is dying without Jonathan Valania's Philebrity II," sez Sweeney. Counter-point! If we can somehow get Will Bunch and Atrios involved in this, then the Philly blogoverse might just explode in a haze of lefty politics, snark and idiocy. God, please make that happen. [Daily News]

• Our old pal Will Bunch on the media coverage of the Amish killings: "We saw a decent chunk of the breathless, wall-to-wall coverage of the Amish country shooting spree on CNN, and we wondered if Charles Carl Roberts had been pushed over the edge by CNN's breathless, wall-to-wall coverage of the other recent school shootings. Somehow, that issue wasn't raised on CNN." Next murder in Philadelphia (give it a few minutes), I'm totally saying Bunch's most recent blog post pushed the killer over the edge. [Attytood]

• The man accused of killing a cop in a Newtown hospital's ER last yearwas hospitalized yesterday after -- and wait for the shocker here! -- allegedly hitting a prison guard. Robert Flor, the accused, had previously threatened the guard. It's all part of his plan to sabatoge any chance of being found not guilty before the trial even begins. Er, wait. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Play interviews ex-Real Cancun star and ex-Tufts sex columnist Amber Madison on her new sex book for women. The highlight is a discussion on why straight men don't write abotu sex: "A guy saying 'grab your boobs,' that's kind of scary. 'Whoa, buddy, chill out.'" So that's why our date didn't go well. [Play]

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September 22, 2006

The Following NBC 10 Report Is Presented Without Comment

Fashions of the moment couldn't be more about tight-fitting clothes, and for some women that means just one thing -- back bulge, or as some say "meatballs" or "biscuits."

Whatever you call it, it's the skin squeezing out from under your bra straps, and many say diet and exercise is never enough to make it disappear. [...]

"I can tell you that this is the only way to really truly spot reduce," Davis said. "You know, there is a very small amount of fat there, a teaspoon amount. But if you can take it away in a very gentle fashion, it's a very wonderful procedure."

Evening gown fat in front can also be removed.

Getting Rid Of Bra Bulge [NBC 10]

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August 30, 2006

Breaking: 'Philly EDGE' Continues 'Get Drunk And Hook Up While Listening To Cover Bands, Suburbanites!' Editorial Campaign

Photos and videos of girls kissing? Check.

An article about getting all sluttied up and going down to Sea Isle for a "Gottis and Hottis" party? Check.

An article about getting all sluttied up and going down to Sea Isle that includes the following description?

On this particular weekend, Meghan*, 22, from NE Philly, was the buzz of the house. She had just so happened to be at the House of Blues in Atlantic City for a Friday night show featuring actor John Corbett and his band. Most of you will remember Corbett as Sarah Jessica Parker’s flame Aidan from Sex and the City.

During the show, Meghan locked eyes with Corbett. As he exited the stage, he whispered in her ear “Wait for me.” [...]

Meghan met up with Corbett and the rest of the band in the Foundation Room inside the House of Blues at the Showboat Casino. She said the room was dark with a Buddha theme and was pretty empty because the band rented out the whole room. They stayed there until about 3:30 a.m. when they went to one of the bars in the casino.

As they shared a few cigarettes out on the balcony which overlooked the beach, Meghan said they also shared a little make-out session.

“The kiss was sloppy,” Meghan said. “He tasted like Patron (tequila) because he drank so much of it all night. Every time I turned around, he was ordering more Patron or shots of Red-Headed Sluts.”

The shot, she said, was a funny choice since he seemed to be a little sluttish himself.

“[Corbett] kept whispering in my ear ‘(Room) 1108, baby; you better be there tonight,’” Meghan said.

Check.

An article about getting all sluttied up and going down to Sea Isle that includes that description and also includes this description?

One of the girls, Sam*, 21, from Bucks County, couldn’t decide what to wear. She was going in and out of everyone’s rooms, trying everything on and hating it all. One of the problems was that her boobs were too big for most of the shirts she was trying on. She eventually realized that spilling out of her top was actually appropriate for the party we were heading to, so she settled on a black corset top with her significant cleavage popping out. She piled her auburn hair into a bouffant-like ’do, completing the trashy look in-line with the theme of the party.

Uh, check. And God bless the Internet, Philly EDGE and everything inbetween.

Snapshots from the shore [Philly EDGE]
Ki$$ for Ca$h [Philly EDGE]

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August 16, 2006

We Have Seen The Future Of Alternative Weeklies

And it involves big boobs.

The Miami New Times, everyone!

Win a free breast augmentation!! [Miami New Times]

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July 17, 2006

The Great Busty Blonde Search™ Nears Its Conclusion

A while back, Eulogy Belgian Tavern began a search for C-cup or better (we guess) blondes. Owner Mike Naessens was looking for a cover girl for the label of the bar's new brew, Busty Blonde. (She'd also appear in print campaigns.)

Naessens alerted us this weekend that he and his expert group of Busty Blonde Experts™ (Note: We may have made this up) have selected three finalists. And you, the reader, can actually vote on which girl gets to be on the label! (We expect Thom Nickels to vote 3 million times.)

The three finalists... drumroll please...

We'll withhold judgment who our personal favorite selection is -- fair and balanced! -- but you can email ebb@eulogybar.com and vote for which of the three you think should get to begin her modeling career as a modern-day American St. Pauli Girl.

God, we love America.

Busty Blonde Contest [Eulogy Belgian Tavern]
The Complete Visual History Of The St. Pauli Girl [St. Pauli Girl]
June 16: Busty Beer ISO Busty Blonde
July 14: Even The Gays Love Big Boobs

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July 14, 2006

Even The Gays Love Big Boobs

For the past, oh, three hours or so, we've been trying to figure out what's the best part of Thom Nickels' story in the Weekly Press this week about his trip to a press junket at the Borgata. (It's the story in the bottom corner. WP articles don't let you link to them directly anymore. Argh!)

Was it the part where he talked about gamblers jumping off roofs of casinos? Was it the part where he hit on one of the members of the group The 5 Browns? Was it the part where he wonders about why there weren't any beautiful men at the junket?

No, kiddies, the best part, we think, is this two-paragraph look into cleavage:

What is a sure guarantee is that all the public relations women who set up the tour or even public relations women on board as “writers” on the junket will have the demeanor and look of New York fashion models. The trend these days is for women in PR to look like the celebrities they represent. The PR women on my junket were all beautiful and slender, and quite of few of them showed ample cleavage.

As a gay man I enjoy looking at cleavage but probably because I am gay I don’t think twice about letting my gaze linger. Cleavage to me is symbolic of the fall harvest, a bountiful spring, or ripe melons in an organic supermarket. Even as a boy I was fascinated by this part of the female anatomy. As a toddler, I once told my great-aunt that the woman we had just encountered in a bikini on the Ocean City boardwalk “had two bottoms." My great-aunt then had to correct me and say that the second bottom was really cleavage. I’ve been hooked platonically ever since.

We're pretty impressed, actually. From male full frontal to obsessing over cleavage in just over a month!

The Weekly Press
June 12: Nude As The News

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June 16, 2006

Busty Beer ISO Busty Blonde

There's an article in Metro today (sadly, not online, but there's a scan here) about Eulogy's new beer, Busty Blonde.

The beeer is being brewed at the La Binchoise brewery in Belgium. The Metro article says Eulogy owner Mike Naessens hopes the beer brings over drinkers from traditional American beers.

One of the advantages of calling your new beer Busty Blonde is that you get to hold a model search for a busty blonde to appear on the label and in print campaigns. (Why didn't I think of this last August!) Contestants for the Great Busty Blonde Search™ simply need to bring in a photo or email it to ebb@eulogybar.com.

What is Eulogy looking for in a beer spokeswoman? Naessens explains:

"We want to get a face out there that's nice looking with an American and European connection," Naessens says. "Same as the beer, with golden blonde hair, big busts or big shoulders. It's a fun name and we wanted that fresh and innocent look that's sexy and inviting."

Yes, I'm sure they'll be picking the girl with the big shoulders.

But don't break out the bleach yet, though, women with large chests (or shoulders) and not-so-blonde hair! You'll get your day in the sun (or, rather, time on the beer bottle):

"Hopefully someone [appropriate] will pop up," said Naessens, 38. "If not, I'm going to have to drive around and if I see someone, I'll plead with them to enter the contest. I'll have to come up with something for the brunettes later on."

An international coalition of redheads is planning a demonstration sometime next week.

Eulogy Belgian Tavern

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April 12, 2006

Double D Journalism

As you might know, I'm only 23. I haven't really been at this journalist/media/whatever game for very long. (And before you send an angry email, yes, I work for PW, yes, I do stories for the paper, yes, I'm a journalist.)

So, anyway, yeah, I spent four years writing for the school paper, and about a year and a half as a paid journalist out in the real world. And I'm still kind of unsure on the rules. I have all the basic details down, but I'm still learning on some of the minute details.

Today, Dan Gross fills me in on some of the details:

When we confessed to [Patti] LaBelle that while we were trying to be respectful, we couldn't help but steal a few glances at her ample, well-displayed chest, she was flattered and kissed our cheek.

Woah, woah, woah. Not only can you stare at an interviewee's big boobs, if you mention it to her you get a kiss?

I ain't gonna be writing much more on this blog today. There's some people I need to go interview.

Dan Gross | 'Philly girl' visits Lil' Kim [DN]

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