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April 22, 2008

Bill Clinton Says: 'Shit!'

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Bill Clinton went on WHYY-FM and said the Obama campaign played the race card by saying Hillary wasn't black enough to be president and accusing the great Bill Clinton of not liking black people enough.

And then he said "shit," because he's a normal person and lots of people say "shit" all the time, probably way more than Bill Clinton does, and it has to be really stressful when you've already done this twice and your wife was supposed to be the nomination lock and now there's this upstart freshman senator who everyone likes more than you. Right?

And so he says, "I don’t think I should take any shit from anybody on that, do you?" in response to his record on racial issues. Because Bill Clinton freed the slaves and everyone knows he is unassailable, as he is the first black president.

President Bill Clinton says the Obama campaign “played the race card” on him [Y Decide 2008]

Posted by D-Mac at 12:37 PM | Comments (6)

January 23, 2008

Hillary Clinton At City Hall Today

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You now have afternoon plans! (Update: Just kidding, you aren't invited.) Everyone's favorite presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, will be appearing at City Hall at 1:15 this afternoon as part of some sort of non-campaign event.

Okay, no, there will probably be some campaigning involved; she's stopping in the mayor's reception room for a ceremony and then heading off to New Jersey, which has a primary Feb. 5 and so actually matters. Sadly, Bill Clinton will not be appearing in Cherry Hill as planned; he'll be stumping for Ron Paul in Florida instead.

Update 2: Oh, Rendell is going to endorse her today. Unfortunately, Pennsylvania's primary is after the 2008 general election.

Hillary Clinton will visit Phila. City Hall today [Inquirer]

Posted by D-Mac at 09:33 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

December 12, 2007

Bill Clinton Surprisingly Stumps For Wife

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KYW 1060 keeps reporting this morning about the "key endorsement" Hillary Clinton picked up yesterday from Mayor-elect Michael Nutter, as if he's going to be the key person to put Hill over the top. But saying Hillary has "the right priorities for Philadelphia," Nutter gave her his endorsement, which had nothing to do with Bill Clinton being in town.

One day after being heckled by a robot, Clinton rebounded to tell you to vote for his wife and that he'd even be campaigning for her even if they weren't married. What if she had divorced him? Would he do it then?

Hillary basically has this thing in the bag; all she has to do is beat a dude who doesn't believe in evolution (Mike Huckabee) sometime next year (I don't know when). Then again, she has been endorsed by John Street, and she is a Democrat, so anything's possible.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 11, 2007

Bill Clinton Comes To Philadelphia

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Hide your daughters! America's favorite philandering president of the 20th century (Protestant division) is in town today. Bill Clinton's speaking at a fundraiser for his wife at the Constitution Center. John Street is expected to be there as well, so somebody better get a photo of Clinton with Street looking goofy or I'm gonna be really disappointed.

(The mayor's press release, incidentally, calls him "William Clinton.")

It's tonight at 7:30. Coincidentally, that's the same time as tonight's rock paper scissors event at Dirty Frank's.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 26, 2007

NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze

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Ton of stuff in the Northeast Times last week, which I noticed when I was in the NE for Thanksgiving. For example, this letter about how Bill and Hillary are the anti-Jack Kelly:

There are many pet lovers who write letters to the Northeast Times. I wonder what they think of the Clintons’ bid to get back in the White House?

The Clintons entered the White House with their lovable cat Socks. Then they adopted their dog Buddy when Bill got into his women problems and needed to seem more, I guess, normal.

Presidential candidate Hillary once even wrote a book about the pets, and we were told how Socks loved to roll in the laundry (as if Hillary ever did laundry.)

Continue reading "NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze"

Posted by D-Mac at 10:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

September 06, 2007

The Impossible Caption Contest

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I surmise you cannot caption this photo without making a reference to Bill Clinton's -- or, for that matter, Mark B. Cohen's -- penis.

Prove me wrong -- or, for that matter, right -- ladies and gentlemen.

Hillary Clinton at Yahoo! News Photos [AP/George Widman/Yahoo!]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:39 PM | Comments (138) | TrackBack (0)

May 01, 2007

Michael Nutter Destroys City Hall In Monty Pythonesque Fashion, Prevents Hurricane Schwartz From Securing No-Bid Contract

I really can't say how much I love this ad. Not only does it have Philly's inspector general personally creeping up on corrupt employees in the middle of the night, it also reveals no-bid contracts are apparently given out in shady elevator deals. Oh, and, yes, it features the destruction of City Hall by either God or a giant, leading to the deaths of lots of people who apparently work in the building's tower for some reason.

Oh, and it does pack a lot of information into 30 seconds, but whatever, who cares about that.

More awesome ads after the jump.

Continue reading "Michael Nutter Destroys City Hall In Monty Pythonesque Fashion, Prevents Hurricane Schwartz From Securing No-Bid Contract"

Posted by D-Mac at 01:41 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

October 19, 2006

Weldon Accuses 95 Percent Of America For FBI Raid

Curt Weldon
Monday's FBI raid of Congressman Curt Weldon's daughter and friend's houses and offices was met with the usual list of suspects: Democrats, the Liberal Media, etc.

But yesterday Weldon came up with another one: A former FBI agent said someone in opponent Joe Sestak's campaign knew the raid was going to happen! Because political neophytes usually have inside info with the Bush Justice Department. But that's not all. KYW 1060 recaps who Weldon has accused so far:

In an interview with the Daily Pennsylvanian this week, Weldon accused former President Bill Clinton, the left wing group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, former CIA official Mary McCarthy and others of involvement in sparking the FBI probe.

Actually missed that one on the DP interview, but, yep, that's the old Bill Clinton chestnut. Geeze. All he needs to do is all liberal gays and communists and he'll pretty much have blamed everyone in the whole entire world. For the Bush Justice Department's investigation of his daughter and his friend.

Let's just put this really clear: Curt Weldon is a blithering idiot. If you vote for him, so are you.

Weldon Says He Knows Who is Behind FBI Investigation [KYW 1060]
Archives: Curt Weldon

Posted by D-Mac at 11:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

October 12, 2006

Leftovers: Bill Clinton Slums It

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Bill Clinton hit Bristol's Mill Street yesterday, stumping for democrat Patrick Murphy. He also called Murphy's opponent, Mike Fitzpatrick, a "mangy dog" in a really, really weird metaphor that I can't figure out. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The American Highway Users alliance did a report on the safest cities to evacuate from, and -- surprise! -- Philadelphia got an F, much like almost every other city. (Only Kansas City got an A.) Gee, what shocker. It's hard to evacuate from cities with a million plus people in them. Who knew. [KYW 1060]

• Stop the presses! Dan Savage said something wild! Those alt-weekly editors/sex columnists! Who knew they'd say outrageous things? (Okay, okay, saying Carl Romanelli should be drug behind a car is a little out there.) [DP's The Spin]

• The infamous "Smiling Bank Robber" has been caught after robbing an Upper Darby bank. He said he moved to the suburbs because he had run out of banks to rob in Philadelphia. Guhwha? [KYW 1060]

• Berks County judges and their staffs may soon have to face random drug tests. Ha! [AP/NBC 10]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:40 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 30, 2006

Obsessive Clinton Disorder

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You might think that former president and noted womanizer Bill Clinton doesn't have much to do with Brett Myers' arrest. Then again, you might not be obsessed with him.

Writing in today's Evening Bulletin, Michael P. Tremoglie accuses Bill Clinton of beating up a woman, too, and whines that Clinton was allowed to make his next scheduled start in the rotation without any condemnation:

The reaction by feminists to the alleged spousal abuse by Phillies' pitcher Brett Myers is an excellent example of vile hypocrisy. It would even be amusing if it were not so pathetic. The condemnations of Myers by feminists (and holier-than-thou hypocritical journalists) were swift, certain and loud. [...]

Contrast NOW's reaction to a baseball player's alleged spousal assault to their statements regarding similar allegations of assault against a female (albeit not his wife) by a President of the United States, Bill Clinton. NOW made this tepid 1998 statement about the alleged assault of Kathleen Willey, "If the chief executive of the United States uses that position of power in the way that's been alleged, it has a very serious impact on women in the workplace."

We will never know the truth about Broaddrick's accusation of sexual assault by Clinton? Why? Because it was twenty years old? Or because he was a Democrat president who favored abortion? [...]

The only people who believe them are liberals - and to paraphrase Ronald Reagan - it is not that liberals do not know anything, it is that so much of what they know is not true.

If anyone comes up with a phrase that's roughly 10 times stronger than "holier than thou," let me know, because I'd like to apply it to Tremoglie. If this column weren't so pathetic -- aren't columns supposed to convince someone of something rather than just preach to the choir? -- it'd be amusing. Oh, wait. It is amusing.

A Tale of Two Abusers [Evening Bulletin]
If you're wondering, yes, that headline says both men are guilty. I dunno.

Posted by D-Mac at 03:16 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

March 30, 2006

Quickies: Slick Willie

• The group pairing with the union to bid for the Inquirer has President Clinton on the board of directors. Of course, he's just a "senior advisor" and won't be doing much, if anything, but, hey, perhaps they can get some hot interns out of the deal. Or, you know, ones that look like Monica Lewinsky. [New York Sun]

• Indicted officials getting money: It's not just for Philadelphia City Council anymore! [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The player the Phillies traded Vicente Padilla for has been released. The good: New GM Pat Gillick isn't afraid to admit mistakes. The bad: He might not have a clue what he's doing. [Daily News]

• The U.S. debt clock will soon run out of room. "How about a government works project to build a new one?" says President Bush.

Posted by D-Mac at 11:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 02, 2006

Port security? Blame... Clinton? The Media? Someone?

The debate in today's Metro:

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I'll just be honest: I have no idea what this means. None. Can anyone help me out?

Posted by D-Mac at 11:02 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

January 04, 2006

Clinton vs. Bush: Who should resign?

010406clinton.jpg There's a really interesting article on Editor & Publisher that notes all the newspapers who called on Bill Clinton to resign back in 1998. Now, I don't remember this -- however, I was 15 at the time and so the only thing I really read in the Inky was the sports pages -- but apparently our city's own Inquirer called on President Clinton to resign in 1998.

Now, you don't have to take sides in the whole conservative/liberal war to see the strangeness here: Obviously, the Inquirer isn't quite the big fan of our current prez. And if the paper was gutsy enough to tell Clinton he should resign, then you think they'd certainly have told Bush to resign months ago. That, of course, would never happen at this point, with all the accusations of liberal media bias/etc. that would happen if they did.

The Editorial Board has obviously had a huge turnover since then, so it's not quite comparing apples to apples. But it's certainly rather funny that the Inky wrote this in 1998, before the Starr Report came out:

Bill Clinton should resign. He should resign because his repeated, reckless deceits have dishonored his presidency beyond repair.

Of course our current president has done nothing of the sort. (I'm not talking about WMDs/Iraq war/spying on Americans. I'm talking about that thing with the door in China. Now that was an embarassment.)

Newspapers Urge President To Quit [E&P via Eschaton]
Photo by ecb29

Posted by D-Mac at 01:00 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)