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July 22, 2008Ben Franklin, Mayor Put Heads Together
Providing housing for Phila. homeless is slow going [Inquirer] Posted by D-Mac at 12:11 PM | Comments (0) July 09, 2008'Metro' Readers Outraged, As Usual
Daniel Holloway and the always-excellent Dorothy Robinson did a humor piece on "25 reasons to love America" right before Independence Day. Ha ha, they even crammed both of their heads into one byline thingy.
Since it's a humor column in a newspaper, people get angry. Yay for America! Anyway, apparently Continue reading "'Metro' Readers Outraged, As Usual" Posted by D-Mac at 01:12 PM | Comments (2) June 20, 2008Ben Franklin, Betsy Ross To Wed
The wedding is on July 3 and the post-ceremony reception is at City Tavern. Naturally. Ben Franklin, Betsy Ross actors set wedding date [AP/Philly.com] Posted by D-Mac at 10:18 AM | Comments (3) April 15, 2008Mayor Nutter On Colbert Report
The interview segment is pretty funny, especially at the start, and the mayor gets at least one good one-liners in there. (Did you know he has dry wit? Every single article about him now mentions it!) Tomorrow The Roots are on. Sweet. Redlasso video clip is on the permalink page. Continue reading "Mayor Nutter On Colbert Report" Posted by D-Mac at 08:56 AM | Comments (0) February 26, 2008Tour Guides Tell Hilarious Lies
He submitted to Heard in the Hall a list of 84 falsehoods he's heard tour guides say, which is kind of a lot of work to do for tour guide regulation research. Do you think he'll open a tour guide regulation test prep service? Some of these lies are pretty awesome, and I submit we should pretend they are true anyway. Go forth, people, and spread these awesome tall tales!
Continue reading "Tour Guides Tell Hilarious Lies" Posted by D-Mac at 08:20 AM | Comments (19) September 19, 2007Benjamin Franklin's Bald Head Covered In Piss: Funny?
There's a Ben Franklin statue on a bench near 36th Street and Locust Walk, and sometimes, late at night, kids piss on the statue for good luck. Or to say they did it. There are similar stupid Penn traditions, most of them pretty recent -- having sex under the button, not walking over a compass on the ground or you fail your first midterm, lines of coke -- but the pissing on the Franklin statue is the one that's actually pretty fucking boss. So, why are students so eager to mark their territory? "There's a fascination with leaving your urine on different objects that represent power," [Penn's senior class president] said. Of course, people get angry at this, including the artist who originally made the statue and people in the comments who don't understand that college students are, um, college students. Also, pissing on the statue could be a third-degree felony! Posted by D-Mac at 01:49 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0) February 14, 2007Introducing: Franklin's LawMany of you may be familiar with Godwin's Law, a semi-serious adage originally written by Mike Godwin in 1990: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one." That law is undeniably true. And, the popularity of the law -- it's well-known enough that I don't know if I had to link the Wikipedia entry above -- probably has stopped people from making analogies to Nazis or Hitler in things unrelated to things about Nazis or Hitler. And for that, Mike Godwin should be thanked and praised. And now, I'd like to carry on with his work, so to speak. Follow me after the jump. Continue reading "Introducing: Franklin's Law" Posted by D-Mac at 02:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) September 05, 2006Leftovers: Ralph Archbold To Sue For Copyright Infringement
• Don't move to the side when you see an accident? Oh, you're getting a ticket. Uh, wait, how would one not move when seeing an accident scene? Would you already get a ticket -- or at least a higher insurance rate -- for plowing into the cars in front of you? [KYW 1060] • Okay, it's all Phillies from here on out, so you can stop reading if you're so inclined. Is Ryan Howard on steroids? Uh, no. No no no. Don't even mention it. In fact, I bet he takes drugs to make him smaller, just to make it tougher for him. And he still hits 400 homers a game. [Daily News] • Speaking of Ryan Howard, it looks like the blogoambit has scooped the "Main Stream Media" again! Will Bunch on his blog: "Last week, we were the first to write about the possibility that the Phillies' Ryan Howard could hit as many as 61 home runs[.]" Somebody get that boy a New Era hat with "PRESS" in it; he's an old fashioned muckraker in a 21st century media world! [Attytood] • Best sportswriter in the world DJ Gallo on the Phillies playoff chances: "[T]hey have no chance of making the playoffs. Why? Because their general manager says so.... But then his players went out and started winning, and they seem to have no intention of stopping. Which is kind of rude and disrespectful to Gillick, if you ask me. It's not right for players to hang their GM out to dry like that." [ESPN.com Page 2] • Update, 6:37 p.m.: Brian Rochford, Society editor of The Evening Bulletin, passed away sometime over the weekend. He was 45. My deepest sympathies to his family and friends. [The Evening Bulletin] Posted by D-Mac at 04:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) August 21, 2006I Liked Him When He Was Underground
Just wait 'til you hear his cover of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie." New CD Highlights Music of Ben Franklin [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 11:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) June 16, 2006He's On Top Of City Hall, TooI usually try to avoid poking fun of any reports involving KYW 1060's Hadas Kuznits, since she spent two years in the Israeli army and could probably tear me in two. Putting personal danger aside, here's a quote Kuznits got from Mary Porenzi, in a report on preparations for last night's Friends of Rittenhouse Square ball (originally noticed by The Lighter Side of Rittenhouse): The square is one of the five squares that Ben Franklin made when he made Philadelphia, and so we want to preserve it and keep it the way it is -- and it's a gorgeous square! It's probably the busiest square on the east coast. Wow! That Ben, what an amazing guy. Rittenhouse Square readies for its ball, to which you're not invited [The Illadelph] Posted by D-Mac at 12:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) June 06, 2006Leftovers: Fen Branklin, I Presume?
• The Daily Show investigates why New Jersey residents can't pump their own gas. Turns out, it has something to do with mullets. Who knew? [Video Dog (Salon)] • Salon also investigates that anti-gay marriage amendment and says it's just a big ploy to the base that gets kinda queasy when two guys kiss. Really, Salon? Gee, I never knew. [Salon] • The city had its lawsuit against 17 online tourism companies thrown out, which means not only did we not get the full taxes we said we did in the lawsuit, but we lost money filing this suit, too. But wait! "The city has hired a private local law firm, Berger & Montague P.C., to pursue the litigation. As payment, it will receive 30 percent of the money collected for the city." Huzzah, huzzah! [Inquirer] • Let's end this day with some puppies. [Flickr] Posted by D-Mac at 04:30 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0) June 05, 2006Ralph Archbold Throws A Mean Curve
Let's hope to God they mean Ben Franklin and not Ryan. Franklin says he could help Phillies' rotation [Daily News] Posted by D-Mac at 03:06 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack (0) May 23, 2006Even For Al Roker, This May Be A New Low
What's the only thing worse than being sent to Philadelphia to interview a Ben Franklin impersonator and a green furry mascot who doesn't talk? Being sent to Philadelphia to interview a Ben Franklin impersonator and a silent green furry mascot who hits you in the face with his tongue. (Or whatever that thing is.) Posted by D-Mac at 08:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) April 27, 2006The Price Of Gas Keeps On Rising
Anyway, we're going to get another tax break, if some senators have their way: There's a proposal right now to give everyone $100 to spend on gas. And not just drivers. Everyone who pays their taxes will get a $100 check. (Take that, illegal aliens!) So, even though I sold my car, I'd still get a Benjamin to spend on gas, although I don't have to spend it on gas. But since the price of everything is supposed to be going up due to the price of gas -- or so the pundits say -- I suppose giving the check to everyone makes some sense. Not that the idea makes much sense, really -- I'm no economist, but just giving money out isn't the best way to spur the economy, is it? -- and not that it has much chance to pass. Or, you know, maybe the senators just want to celebrate Ben Franklin's birthday in a very special way, eh? Eh? Senators to push for $100 gas rebate checks [CNN.com] Posted by D-Mac at 02:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) February 21, 2006First boroughPhiladelphia blogger The West End went up to New York this weekend, and spotted the following billboard just a few blocks from Times Square:
Any joke that could possibly be made about this ad has already been done, I'm sure, so I'll just note it and move on. It's up to you [The West End] Posted by D-Mac at 09:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) January 25, 2006The man who hates Philadelphia
But, apparently, it's working. (And, I'm sorry, I'm kind of sick of these stories, too. But, hey, I was here for approximately 20 years when this city was the cesspool of America, and now that we're suddenly "hip" -- allegedly, but I'm as skeptical as these guys -- it's time to soak it in.) The mag Travel Weekly recently held a roundtable of all the top editors of travel mags, and they had this discussion (thanks to all who sent this in): Veronica Stoddart, travel editor, USA Today: Look at Philadelphia. It’s celebrating Ben Franklin’s 300th birthday, and there’s a huge marketing campaign. The campaign works because the city is really coming into its own anyway -- it’s going through a renaissance. It’s right at the top of the list of domestic destinations. Well, it's working except for that one guy. He just needs a couple of jolts of Benergy right to the upper shoulder and we'll be set. Editor's Note: Okay. No more Benergy jokes. I swear. In fact, no more mentioning Ben Franklin, ever. From here on out, it's B** F*******. If I break this, somebody please shoot me. Posted by D-Mac at 11:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) Quickies: Rooks are the new black
• Speaking of convicted sexual assaulter Tracy McIntosh, his job in Milan may be in doubt. But his lawyer says it was due to erroneous press reports in Italy that he was a serial rapist. Because, you know, if you only raped once, it's not a big deal, right? sigh. [Inky] • The choking game: "There's no way to win," sez a police officer. I'm telling you: if they bring back the old school cable boxes that allow you to kind of see the porn channel in scramblevision, kids will stop doing shit like this. [Bucks County Courier Times] • Hey, people: Everything's all peachy keen between Webber and A.I., okay? In related news, the Sixers have won three straight. If you want a different answer, talk to Webber after the Sixers fall back below .500. [DN] Posted by D-Mac at 10:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) Protesters have Benergy!
And the love-fest for Philadelphia/Ben Franklin continues... Gonzales defends wiretaps amid protest [CNN.com] Posted by D-Mac at 09:03 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) January 20, 2006Diplo's got Pimpergy!
Anyway, the Village Voice has an interview with him that was done right before he spun at the Guggenheim (!) two weeks ago. The interview's okay, but this is the best part by far: What was the last good book you read? I lost this one book I started reading on Benjamin Franklin. He was a pimp. Effin' A, Diplo. 30th Street Pimp Station! We can all be down with that. Holla! [Village Voice] Posted by D-Mac at 01:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) January 18, 2006Happy 300th Birthday, Ben! You truly are the "Greatest American with Psoriasis!"
Of all his accomplishments, having psoriasis is clearly his most important. (Other famous Americans with psoriasis? John Updike and The Beav. Elite company!) Group Makes Ben Franklin Their Disease Poster Boy [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 08:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) January 17, 2006Quickies: Second encore
• 89-year-old Walter Cronkite has a new 65-year-old girlfriend. Man, imagine the harem Ben Franklin would have if he were alive today! [Inky] • Did youse all see the Sixers game Friday night? Ehm, maybe not. But the Sixers were down 16, rallied to tie it, hit a three at the buzzer of the second OT to send it into triple-overtime, then won it by a point. And, then, in a great encore, they lost by 28 yesterday! Whoo! When do the hockey playoffs start? [DN] • And, in case you haven't seen it yet, Miss New Jersey has a blog. Miss New Jersey? Isn't that like being the funniest war movie? (Rimshot.) [Camden Courier-Post] • The Washington Post's ombudsman gets something wrong, and Will Bunch lays the smack down. That's my boy! [Poynter Online via Eschaton] Posted by D-Mac at 11:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0) Overdosing on BenergySpotted on KYW 1060:
Okay, several things here: I know that Ben Franklin was born 300 years ago, so there's no real way that he'd be alive today. But isn't it a little weird to have a parade to his grave? Like that bobblehead the Phillies gave out that had one alive guy (Harry Kalas) and one dead guy (Richie Ashburn), it's just kind of strange. However, I am excited that there is a parade of Ben-friendly organizations. This city has been overridden with anti-Franklin organizations, and if a march to Ben Franklin's grave -- or, as I like to call it, 30th Street's grave -- is what can stem the tide of anti-Franklin sentiment in this city (especially from both the city's major newspapers!), then perhaps it's worth it. Join the Ben Parade! [KYW 1060] Posted by D-Mac at 10:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) January 13, 2006A new proposal to rename '30th Street Station'
And, okay, this city renames things for people all the time, and it's all good. Who's really going to argue with, say, renaming 30th Street Station "Ben Station", as proposed by Pew Charitable Trusts and endorsed yesterday by Mayor Street? Well, lots of people. I detailed the stupidity of this idea before, but let's reiterate: This is the stupidest idea since the Sixers traded Charles Barkley. Let's do a little imaginary conversation, shall we? 30th Street Station Inga Saffron's article in today's Inquirer essentially makes it known that this is a done deal, and they're just waiting to make the announcement that 30th Street Station is now named Ben Station. John Street's rebuttal to the critics? Oh, he has a rebuttal: "I say to those people, this is a great idea, and I wish they would get on board." Whoo! Some people have said that this idea is confusing, because it would be too similar to Penn Station in New York. And others have said that we should name it Judge Higginbotham Station instead. Well, I say no to Higginbotham Station, and certainly no to Ben Station. I don't think either goes far enough. My proposal is to take the confusion of "Ben Station" one step further: We should rename 30th Street Station "Philadelphia International Airport." Then we'll truly be a world class city. Street fires up momentum for 'Ben Station' [Inky] Posted by D-Mac at 12:36 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0) January 11, 2006Quickies: First person perspective• Sound the sirens! First person journalism in the Inquirer! (This is when we, like 6 ABC, use exclamation points.) It's a reporter's tale of his encounters with Roger Keith Coleman, who was executed in 1992 for raping his wife's 19-year-old sister and slashing her throat. And it's good, which means there probably won't be another such front page first-person piece until 2011. [Inky] • Spread the Benergy! (This word is a frontrunner for "Word of the Year 2006" already.) Channel 12 asks Philadelphians for musings on Franklin in About Benjamin (cute, I get it) tomorrow night at 9 p.m. [Inky] • New Phillies GM Pat Gillick speaks at a Police Athletic League luncheon, and actually talks about outfielder Jason Michaels, who's entering a first time offender program after punching a cop in Old City over the summer. Well, he's not afraid to shy away from things, I guess. No way the last guy would have mentioned him. [KYW 1060] • The Pennsylvania Game Commission recommended banning the totally awesome (but possibly inhumane, so maybe not) lacrosse stick-like dart thrower, the atlatl, which is about 8,000 years old. Hunters will still be able to totally vaporize deer with a variety of newer weapons. [Inky] Posted by D-Mac at 10:21 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) January 09, 2006Blogicized: Next, an interview with Ben Franklin• It's really, really warm out. [Philadelphia Weather] • Local pseudo-celebrities interviewed in the last week on Metroblogging Philadelphia: Dorothy Krysiuk, Glen Macnow. Somewhere, Phillyist (who you may remember interviewed me) weeps. • These "Justice Sunday" protestors did something right. If you're going to march, you might as well march with freakin' torches. Now that's a way to get my attention, not with some church rally about how God hates it when gays enter into a legal partnership. [dragonballyee] • Just when you thought the Benergy couldn't get any hotter, somebody goes out and makes a Ben Franklin-specific search engine. [Philly Future] Posted by D-Mac at 03:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0) |
• Ladies and gentlemen, the 
Hey, remember back in 2001, when we all got that 
Okay, frankly (har!), we're all sick of the Ben Franklin hype. (I'm using the royal we here.) Okay, he invented more things in one day than I ever will in my life and he was a founding father and he had a lot of sex and blah blah blah. Great. But I'm not really sure how anyone is so excited about the fact he was born 300 years ago.
• The month of incessant Ben Franklin continues: today, we all learn that 
As we all know -- or as we all should know, DJ Diplo is the best thing to come out of Philadelphia since, well, shit, I don't know. Jameer Nelson? Ed Rendell? Wilt?
• Okay, no Ben backlash here: 
You know, I tend to like descriptive names for places. There's nothing wrong with renaming West River Drive after Martin Luther King, but something about West River Drive had a sort of nice ring to it, especially since it told you where the drive was (along the Schuylkill River) and which side of the river it was on (the West side).