October 16, 2007

Scranton Woman Cited For Cursing At Toilet

When [whoever, look up on Wikipedia before you post] wrote the Bill of Rights, he probably should have stopped after five words. But the next couple words weren't so bad, either, since it gave us the right to freedom of speech, along with a couple of other super-cool freedoms. An American is free to say he thinks Hitler's mustache was cute, free to worship God, Jesus or Barbaro, free to print a newspaper that says President Bush is an alien and free to have a job posting stupid jokes on a stupid blog.

Freedom of speech has its limits, though, apparently. Take the case of West Scranton's Dawn Herb, who could face 90 days in jail and a $300 fine for cursing at her toilet.

Herb was attempting to get her toilet to stop overflowing when she called it a "fucking child rapist asshole motherfucker." Or, rather, she didn't call it that, but the article doesn't say what she said, so I made something up with a bunch of curses in it. She admits saying some "choice words," though, and her neighbor (a police officer) heard them.

“The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop,” she said. “A guy is yelling, ‘Shut the fuck up,’ and I yelled back, ‘Mind your own business.’ ”

After somebody told this woman to "shut the fuck up," neighbor Patrick Gilman (an off-duty police officer), called the cops and had her arrested for disorderly conduct! In her own house! The citation accuses Herb of cursing "with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm or recklessly (creating) a risk."

So, if you're wondering, apparently it's illegal to annoy me now. Enjoy the archives of this website, ladies and gentlemen, because I am certainly going to jail for a life now.

West Side woman faces jail time for swearing at toilet [Scranton Tribune]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:23 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)

January 30, 2007

Curt Schilling To Annoy Us In Whole New Outlet?

Used to be, avoiding being annoyed by Curt Schilling was pretty easy. All you had to do was not watch post-game Red Sox interviews and don't play the PC game Everquest. But, no, Schilling wasn't content with that. No, he has to go and try to make sure that every American is annoyed by him no matter how much they try to avoid him.

Now there's a possibility of Curt Schilling running for John Kerry's Senate seat. A group of Massachusetts residents are starting a drive to draft Schilling to run in the 2008 election, in the hopes of finding out just who the American people are annoyed by more. (It should be pretty close. Remember, Curt Schilling is "a horse's ass the other four days" but John Kerry did lose to President Bush -- President Bush! -- in an election.)

Anyway, let's hope this election does take place. It might open up a black hold of annoyance over all of New England, saving us from having to hear about Schilling, Kerry and the New England Patriots ever again.

Editor's Note: Apparently, Curt Schilling saying he might vote for Barack Obama is "patronizing," according to Will Bunch. Curt Schilling doesn't care about black people!

UPDATED: The Next Kerry Swift Boater...Curt Schilling? [Attytood]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)