Free Philly Concert To be Held At Giants Stadium

Remember Live Earth? That was the concert scheduled to be at RFK Stadium JFK Stadium Lincoln Financial Field on July 7.

Well, apparently, that was a lie. Because the free concert to be held in Philadelphia for global warming is in East Rutherford, New Jersey. It’s actually a bit more appropriate, since the factories around the Meadowlands are probably responsible for at least 100% of the earth’s global warming.

“Capping Live Earth with a blockbuster show like this will ensure we meet our challenge of building a mass audience to combat global warming,” Live Earth founder and executive producer Kevin Wall said in a statement. “Live Earth will be a monumental event both in terms of entertainment and in turning the tide against global warming.”

Yes, the concert is going to turn the tide against global warming. It’s just not going to happen in Philadelphia, unfortunately. Oh, well. There’s only two other Police concerts that month in Pennsylvania!

Update: We’re not totally left out! There’s a global warming conference in Philadelphia tomorrow.

Bon Jovi, The Police among artists in Live Earth concert [AP/Philly.com]
March 28: Al Gore To Play Philly, Antarctica

Al Gore To Play Philly, Antarctica

Back in 2005, our fair city of Philadelphia hosted the United States’ edition of Live 8. It went off without a hitch, shocking in a city of such incompetence such as ours. And since Live 8 went so spectacularly well in this city — Anna Nicole Smith’s appearance backstage notwithstanding — it appears we’re now going to host Al Gore’s Live Earth.

Roger Friedman, FoxNews.com columnist, reported yesterday Live Earth is headed to Philadelphia on July 7 with The Police as a headliner. Dan Gross seconded the report today, bringing up the small fact that The Police are playing a concert at Citizens Bank Park show 12 days later.

The original Fox News report also said The Police would be playing RFK Stadium in Philadelphia, which is either (1) the actual RFK Stadium, in Washington, D.C., or (2) JFK Stadium, the site of Live Aid that was torn down in 1992. Gross also interviews people involved with the Linc, the Cit and the Commerce Department, who all deny any knowledge.

The concert is supposed to be on all seven continents, which means there’s actually going to be a concert in effing Antarctica. Maybe The Police can play that and we can get somebody important to play here, like The Hooters.

Dan Gross | Live Earth to play Philly? [Daily News]
Madonna, Rolling Stones Set for U.K. Live Earth [Fox News]

Ed Rendell Won’t Challenge William Howard Taft For Title Of ‘Most Rotund Person In White House’

While at a National Governors Association meeting in Washington over the weekend, Ed Rendell quelled any rumors, not that there were any, that he was going to be on a ticket for Vice President, saying he’d rather be governor.

“I like to be my own boss,” he said. This is good, of course, so we won’t be subjected to Gov. Catherine Baker Knoll, who spends her time in office having the state senate serenaded by a parrot. Although this would certainly up the comedy potential in Pennsylvania, it’s probably better we have a governor who doesn’t bring parrots in to sing “Camptown Races” to the legislature.

It is sad, though, that Rendell won’t get a chance to go after William Howard Taft’s record of “most rotund president or vice president.” However, after seeing him last night at the Oscars, it appears Al Gore is vying for that title in the 2008 elections.

Rendell says he won’t run for vice president in ‘08 [AP/Center Daily Times]
Al, Tipper and ex-Futurama writer Kristin Gore [AP/Yahoo!]
Oct. 26, 2005: Singing parrot upsets top Pa. senator (this entry is joke free)

Chase Utley To Hit Doubles, Cut Emissions

The Oscar for Best Documentary wasn’t the only thing Al Gore picked up for An Inconvenient Truth. No, it’s also picked up the endorsement of one Phillies second baseman Chase Utley!

Yes, that’s right. Utley doesn’t just eat at Morning Glory and score from second on a groundout, he also wants to cut his own emissions and help stop global warming. Indeed! Perhaps based on the fact Jon Lieber has a truck that gets 12 miles to the gallon and has melted six polar ice caps itself, Utley plans on buying a hybrid car and show Lieber and Aaron Rowand (who has a similar humongous car) the movie.

He’s also signed the petition on stopglobalwarming.org:

I’m marching because I know how important it is for all of us to face the reality of global warming. It’s real, it’s a danger and it threatens the well-being of all of us. I love America but I don’t love how wasteful we are. With five percent of the world’s population, we consume twenty-five percent of the planet’s energy. We need to address global warming in a serious and meaningful way. All of us, not just those of us marching, need to take steps NOW to conserve. We need to think outside the corporate box on this - to solar, wind power, hybrids. We need a major shift in our mindset on what makes up the American dream. It’s not two SUV’s in every garage, it’s creating a good and sustainable life for all of us for generations to come. For me, doing so will start with the very first step I take on this march. This is only the beginning.

Awesome. I look forward to fluorescent light bulbs in the Phillies locker room this year.

Marcher: Chase Utley [SGW]
Utley fights for the environment [Phillies.com, 2nd item]
‘Truth’ generates Oscar win [Camden Courier-Post]
Feb. 15: Jon Lieber’s Truck

Fun With Funny Pictures, Part II

Rendell: C’mon, let’s go get some cheesesteaks.

Gore: Ah, I dunno, Ed…
Rendell: Come on. We’ll go to Abner’s, get some cheesesteaks, then relax at Club Wizzards.
Gore: You’re touching my arm.
Rendell: Cheesesteaks and strippers, Al. Cheesesteaks and strippers.
Gore: Okay, but I get to drive my electric car and you have to offset your carbon emissions.
Rendell: Deal. Let’s go.

Yesterday: Fun With Funny Pictures