July 14, 2008

Philly's Nuns Finally Win A Conference Title

Woo-hoo! Saturday afternoon, the Philadelphia Soul routed the Cleveland Steamers at the Wachovia Center to win the National Conference Championship; the team now heads to its first Arena Bowl on July 27.

(NB to the Inquirer: Come on, you guys really went with the "one victory away from bringing a championship to Philadelphia" lead? Yes, this is what they said about the Kixx and the Wings and the Barrage and the Charge -- women's soccer -- and the Stars -- the USFL, natch -- and that online Mario Kart race I won the other day. Yes, there are other sports teams in Philadelphia besides the four major sports, but if they win a title that doesn't mean Philadelphia wins a title or the drought is over or whatever. Okay? Thank you.)

Anyway, as you can see from the screencap from Action News yesterday, the Soul pulled out all its best players for an on-field celebration: Team president Ron Jaworski, two nuns and the team's starting quarterback (he's in the right hand corner). If the Soul win the Arena Bowl, does the team play the winner of the CFL next?

Update: Also awesome was this sentence in today's Daily News:

Attentive father, devout Christian and Arena Football League Player of the Year . . . hard to make a guy like that look bad.

I believe winning the Arena Football League POY is a plenary indulgence, actually.

Posted by D-Mac at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2008

Action News, Poetically

Oh, I recorded this last weekend then forgot to post it. Here's Action News' Rob Jennings, reporting on tornadoes in Oklahoma.

Now that, my friends, is poetry. Is he speaking in iambic pentameter? The local news stations should totally begin all their broadcasts this way.

Posted by D-Mac at 05:04 PM | Comments (0)

April 16, 2008

Oh! Issues! Those!

Ooh, look at this! The intro to Action News at 6 p.m. was everything right and wrong with America. It was about the debate, and Jim Gardner summarized the election so far: Obama's bitter comment, Jeremiah Wright's comments, Clinton lying about sniper fire. And then he says, "There are the issues." Yes! The issues! Those!

Gardner then throws it to veteran reporter Vernon Odom, who explicitly admits they might be fooled by the spinmasters after the debate. But he's so honest! Really, I want more Vernon Odom covering the election, ABC. Make this happen.

Video after the jump.

Continue reading "Oh! Issues! Those!"

Posted by D-Mac at 07:59 PM | Comments (0)

April 02, 2008

King Kong, Santa Cheer On Eagles

My good friend (and occasional guest poster) Mike Benner is sadly moving away to California to go chase his dreams as a medical marijuana farmer. Or maybe it's screenwriting, the other thing people do in California. Anyway, on his blog Benner has compiled just about every Action News opening on YouTube. They're all the same, essentially, but the above one is by far the greatest.

A young Rob Jennings (in 1981!) previews two stories before some crisis in Poland: The largest menorah in the world (in Philly!) and "King Kong and Santa Claus take the day off to cheer for the Eagles!"

Coincidentally, this was the last time Poland was mentioned on a local news broadcast in Philadelphia.

Posted by D-Mac at 03:36 PM | Comments (0)

March 05, 2008

Pellet-Packing Punks Probed

Pellet-packing punks! That's the newest scourge in West Chester, according to Action News and its annoying seizure-inducing website. People are so mad about said "pellet-packing punks" (who are apparently white aka moon tigers) Action News' David Henry says the damage has gotten "has gotten way beyond ridiculous."

Vandals in West Chester have broken the windows over 100 cars with pellet guns, causing $40,000 worth of damage. Things are so bad even the glass replacement people are unhappy! Apparently dealing with "angry customers" outweighs huge amounts of profit.

It's okay, though, the cops have a few leads and will soon find and execute the punks. And if they don't Henry notes it's okay, too: "It's gotten to the point where the vandals better hope the police catch them before someone else does." Ahh, I see West Chester is a lot like Upper Darby.

Hunt continues for pellet packing punks [6 ABC]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:30 PM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2008

Fake News Now On Regular News

Really, guys. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who runs a blog like mine, but don't you guys have to report the actual news? This feels like an attempt at doing some sort of Daily Show-style report, only on the real news. And, uh, it's two and a half minutes long!

Naw, I'm just kidding, keep doing dramatic exclusives on the missing M&M man. What's on Lost this week!

It is amazing, though, that we have to put both "Action" and "News" in quotes when discussing this clip.

Posted by D-Mac at 12:56 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

November 17, 2007

Action News: Do U Kno What Ur Teen Is Txting???

Last night, Lisa Thomas-Laury exposed the acronyms teens use while text messaging. She lets us know about LOL ("Laughing Out Loud"), LMAO ("Laughing My Blank Off") and PABG ("Packing A Big Gun"). This is the second TV station to do a report on text messaging this week.

It is also the second report this week explaining to parents that "420" signifies "marijuana." In addition to saying figuring out Internet acronyms is as easy as "deciphering the Morse codes," Thomas-Laury reports kids of parents who are not tech-savvy are four times more likely to do drugs. What?

Also, did you read that above?? LOL and LMAO are explained on television by a reporter bahahahaha

Posted by D-Mac at 02:41 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

June 14, 2007

Action News Nearly Slanders Innocent Squirrel

Squirrel Goes Berserk in Germany [AP/6 ABC]

Posted by D-Mac at 03:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 21, 2006

Leftovers: All Explosions, All The Time

• The upside to the Great Center City Explosion of 2006: "Thousands of workers from several nearby buildings, including 1500 Market Street, were evacuated. At that point, [Fire Commissioner] Ayers says, many employers gave their workers the rest of the day off." [KYW 1060]

• And, in case you really, really need to know about a ruptured power line downtown, here are all the relevant news and forum links: CBS 3, 6 ABC, NBC 10, Inquirer, Philly Future, Phillyblog, Craigslist Rants & Raves.

• The Action News morning team took a trip down the Brandywine Creek this morning. Tamala Edwards writes, "But that may not have been such a good thing, since David and Karen ended up in more banks than the earlier team of Tam and Karen. Tam and Matt sashayed down the river, talking politics and wedding planning (Tam was very anxious to get to the end of the trip; her wedding dress was waiting in South Philadelphia, with a shop owner who was about to leave on an international trip. The pressure!)." The Brandywine Creek makes you talk in the third person, apparently. [6 ABC]

• In New Jersey, you now have more rights in your car than in your home. Look for a burgeoning meth lab operation out of peoples' trunks sometime soon. [Camden Courier Post]

Posted by D-Mac at 04:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

July 05, 2006

YouTube Break: 1981 'Action News' Closing

We got such a good response from the 1981 Action News opening I figured it was time to post the closing, too:

Retro Rob Jennings and Gary Papa will never get old.

1981 Action News Close [YouTube]
June 22: 1981 Action News Opening

Posted by D-Mac at 12:38 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

June 22, 2006

YouTube Break: 1981 Action News Opening

Go ahead, sing along.

WPVI Action News 1981 Open [YouTube]

Posted by D-Mac at 01:19 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

February 08, 2006

City Avenue Bullies

A recent story on Action News highlighted the growing epidemic of "bullying." The word means "a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people," and this pox on society has just recently entered into our schools, making our children...

... er, wait. Bullying has been around for a while. (According to the subject of our illustration here, Nelson Muntz, it "predates agriculture.") But, nevertheless, some people are trying to stop it, and good for them. Obviously, I don't think it's the most serious problem in the history of mankind, but it's something that should be addressed. (Note: Yes, a smartass like me was bullied from time to time. But you guessed that already.)

The tactics, however, of the author of the book Bullies to Buddies, well, has a strange approach. Here is his "typical scenario":

Anita: "You're an idiot."

Izzy: "I am not an idiot... How dare you call me an idiot?!"

And here's his way to fix it:

Anita: "You're an idiot."

Izzy: "If you want to say that, go ahead. If it makes you happy it makes me happy too."

That is, of course, the author of the book, Izzy Kalman, talking to Action News reporter Anita Brikman. What, you expected something else?

Bullies into Buddies?

Posted by D-Mac at 03:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)