Dear Septa,

Nothing jump-starts a good day like the smell of stale urine at the subway station. It works ever so much better than coffee.

And I'd also like to express my appreciation for your employees - nothing seem to bother them! Complaints, concerns, questions - they all roll off like water on a duck's back.

Keep up the good work,
fn

Septa,

Thank you for keeping fares low by not increasing police presence in high crime subway stops in Center city. The thrill of Russian Roulette for the price of a token can not be beat!

Thanks again

yours,

ChrissMari

Dear SEPTA,

Thank you for... well, for everything.

Daniel

Yeah, because all the people who want to write negative letters are still in the hospital recovering from their beat-downs.

Dear SEPTA,

One time, one of your conductors tried to shove me off a moving regional rail train. No, seriously, he did. I didn't get the joke at the time, but now I do: it's funny to try and injure people! I wish I understood that I was supposed to laugh back then, rather than yell at the conductor. He was only trying to entertain people, after all.

Sorry for the bad feelings!

Your True Friend,
Mike

P.S. All your services must be really well-run and operated. At least that's what I figure: there must be so many people trying to ride the subways and train and buses that they're bound to be late to the stop I'm waiting at. It only makes sense!

They probably got the numbers backwards, since they aren't good with numbers, like the ones in the schedule.

SEPTA has schedules?