May 16, 2007

Jesus White Predictably Not Done Yet

Jesus White, Philadelphia's first homeless candidate for mayor, didn't do too well in the polls yesterday. He only got 418 votes, losing to Queena Bass, who finished with 926. (There were six write-ins. No word if Jon Saidel voted for himself.)

But that didn't deter the man who got fewer than a quarter of the number of signatures he turned in. Gar Joseph reports Jesus might rise again:

White said he was exhausted by the end of his campaign, but probably will run again. "I think this participation in the primary will give me more leeway to run again," he said. "I think people may notice me a bit more now."

Agreed! If Sam Katz can run for mayor three times, Jesus White can run for mayor two times. Apparently in the last week Jesus White also had radio commercials on WURD 900 AM. Harold L. Fisher bought the ads, which said: "It's about time a common man got elected mayor." It is about time.

Clout | VOTE DAY: ROBBERY, FAKERY, ETC. [Daily News]
Archives: Jesus White

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April 26, 2007

Giant Mascot Holds Press Conference

An interesting press release arrived today from one Tommy the Loan Shark, who is holding a press conference outside City Hall at 1 p.m. today. Which means: Crap, I missed it.

Well that sorta screws up this post, doesn't it? Oh well. Let's just continue. I'm not quite sure how Tommy types with his little fins, but he does, apparently, go by "Tommie" now and not "Tommy." Here's the release (I especially dig the exclamation point after "PRESS RELEASE"):

------ Forwarded Message

From: Tommie Shark
Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:13:18 -0500
To: People
Subject: PRESS RELEASE: Press Conference at CITY HALL TOMORROW!

PRESS RELEASE!

FROM: TOMMIE THE LOAN SHARK

TO: ALL REPORTERS AND CITIZENS

Continue reading "Giant Mascot Holds Press Conference"

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Knox Attacked For Goombah Affiliation

Appropriate since -- as you undoubtedly know if you have a TV, or have passed by a TV store, or you know someone who has a TV -- he worked odd jobs, left home at 16 and joined the Navy, a group of Philadelphians are attempting to Swift Boat Tom Knox.

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a 527 political action group, attacked John Kerry in 2004 for... I dunno. He hated the Vietnam War or something, which was America's greatest and most successful war after the War on Drugs. Or apparently he killed Vietnamese children and drank their blood. But, anyway, people bought it, even though the Swift Boaters weren't exactly telling what we like to call "the truth."

The anti-Knox group is headed up by Alex Talmadge, who apparently stood in for Bob Brady at a forum recently. It's called Economic Justice Coalition for Truth. (Note: not all 527's have to be "for Truth." Sometimes they're for lying.)

But the Swift Boat story doesn't mean the Tom Knox 527 is going to lie or anything, as these groups can -- amazingly -- attack candidates for things they actually did. As you may know, Tom Knox was poor until he robbed poor people of their money, then he got rich. Or maybe he stole the Liberty Bell and sold it on the black market. Oh, here it is: He headed up a bank that made payday loans, which charge like a billion percent interest. And the new scandal is he keeps a guy on payroll who was a convicted felon.

Knox, a multimillionaire businessman, said he still keeps David S. Fishbone on his personal payroll three years after Maryland insurance regulators fined his company $125,000 for employing the disbarred lawyer as a compliance officer for Fidelity Insurance, a company he bought in 1999 and sold in 2004.

Because if there is one thing the public won't stand for, it's convicted felons working as compliance officers for insurance companies! However, the always great Kate Philips, Brady's spokeswoman, chimed in: "Cronyism got him into that mess. He took one of his old goombahs and gave him that job."

Political group targets Knox [Inquirer]
Knox defends hiring of felon at his Md. HMO [Inquirer]
We said the Swift Boats were coming [The Next Mayor]

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April 18, 2007

Mayoral Candidates Play Bingo, Take Geritol

As the mayor's race rolls toward its inevitable, boring conclusion, the interested observers are beginning to circle the wagons, talk in wild platitudes and get really nervous Tom Knox is actually going to win this thing.

For example, YoungPhillyPolitics dissects the newest poll, showing Tom Knox with approximately a 750 percentage point lead over the other candidates. City Councilman Jim Kenney even chimed in! "If this poll is true and this trend continues, on May 16th my concience [sic] will be clear." Thanks, Jim! We were all wondering what your conscience was going to be like in mid-May. Then Kenney wrote about how stupid Philadelphia voters are.

But what about people who actually decide the elections; i.e. old people. Well, they're getting attention from the mayoral candidates as well. The KYW 1060 article was headlined "Mayoral Hopefuls Promise Better Health Care If Elected," so you know how much they're pandering.

But after the AARP-sponsored forum, the attendees got down to more important stuff:

At the end of the forum - a staple at a senior get-together - a raffle. A nice lady is going to the Tropicana.

Buoyed after seeing her excitement, Tom Knox began to hatch a new idea: Free spaghetti dinners are the Trop.

Mayoral Hopefuls Promise Better Health Care If Elected [KYW 1060]
Oh. Crap. [Young Philly Politics]

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December 05, 2006

Mayoral Race Cards

In a city that can't even have a black quarterback throwing to and feuding with his black wide receiver without race somehow entering into the picture, it's no surprise that race can't stay out of the mayor's race -- uhh, the other kind of race -- either.

NAACP head/snazzy hat wearer/attention whore Jerry Mondesire -- hey, he was involved in McNabb thing, too! -- blasted Brady yesterday for making Saidel drop out of the mayor's race so he could run and not have to face another white candidate. Well, that's Mondesire said happened, and that seems about right, although it probably has more to do with getting any candidates with bowl haircuts out of the race.

Then again, it's Mondesire, and although he should be trusted a little more on politics than on sports, it seems like he just wants to be able to get black voters to rally around -- guess who? -- his candidate, Dwight Evans.

What does this all mean? Well, it's like a lot of things in Philadelphia: Sure, it's about race in part, but it's way more about the enormous egos of everyone involved. Hey, would we have it any other way? Hell, I'm voting for the late Frank Rizzo!

Race enters mayoral contest [Inquirer]

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