God Communicating Solely Through Eggplants

Earlier this week we were introduced to the “GOO” or “GIO” eggplant, which some people also said might spell “GOD.” One wonders why, exactly, God would chose to communicate through Solanum melongena, instead of the more traditional forms of prophets, Bibles and sleazy TV evangelists. But one also can’t really question the Big G. I mean, what are you gonna do, tell God it’s lame to communicate through eggplants? Yeah, you go ahead, I don’t want to be vaporized like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

You see, we now have another God communication through an eggplant. A Camden County woman says she found three angels in an eggplant, clearly a sign that the almighty wants her to go on television and talk about finding angels in her eggplant.

And that’s what she did, to 6 ABC, your #1 source for heavenly eggplant communication. (They even have an update of the previous story, about how the “GOD” eggplant might go up for sale! “And God said, sell this plant to GoldenPalace.com…”)

Vincenza Martino bought the eggplant earlier this week from a vendor in Jerz, and as she was slicing it up, she found the seeds formed angels, or at least whatever Western view we have of angels (cloaked in white, etc.). But I assume God knows what we think angels look like, so He knows what pattern to move those seeds into.

Martino even gave a slice of the holy eggplant to a customer who is very sick. (He cried.) 6 ABC reports she works seven mornings a week and doesn’t go to church, even though the deli she works at is plastered in photos of Pope Benedict. She says the deli is her temple. “God is here, like he’s in the church,” Martino said.

This is sort of Bible-centric. I believe the quote is, “Do this in memory of me… and if you have to work or something, then just eat eggplant instead.” Except in Aramaic, I guess.

New Jersey Woman Finds Angels In Eggplant [6 ABC]
Holy Eggplant! [6 ABC]